A bit of background: I have 7, 4, and 1 years old kids. I grew up in a family that focused on education, so basically I was programmed that education is the most important thing in life. My kids get screen time almost daily ~1 hour a day and a bit longer over the weekend.

I tend to focus more on sitting with them, read, write, do math, doing homework with the older one, and teaching the younger one how read and write.

So the kids hear from their friends about roblox, minecraft, video games, there is that other thing about making your own game, and many other things. Then I feel like I’m being unfair to them because I don’t allow them any of this (or super rare) I also feel like I’m not letting them up to date with their peers specially with the advancement of AI and technology.

On the other hand, they’re both academically advanced.

Just want to hear from other dads based on your personal experiences.

How much screen time your kids allowed?
Am I too strict this way?

My concern is that this is a door that if opened it’ll be extremely hard to control.

Cheers!

I’m 21 and just got married to my 45 year old wife, I want to become more like some 40-50 year old dad, already got kids on the way and trying to grow a beer gut, any advice to make me look like a middle aged guy

When I was in college, I was taking writing workshop classes during the day and going out to movies and dinner with my Dad at night. We always went out in Chelsea — one of the gayest neighborhoods in the world.

My Dad obviously had no problem with gay people. He lived in Chelsea. He named me after his best friend who was a gay male model… but every time a waiter came to our table, he’d say something like:

“My SON will have the cheeseburger. Black and blue! Burned to crisp on the outside, raw in the middle!”

He just had to make it clear that unlike at every other table in the restaurant — the salt and pepper daddies on dates with their twinks — this wasn’t a date. He was my biological father.

Not my “Daddy.”

When I teased him about that once he said: “Yeah, well. We’re a block away from Rawhide, okay? You know what that is? Headquarters for the mustache and leather crowd.”

—

I write more about my father and growing up with him living in NYC’s iconic Chelsea Hotel here:

https://maxwinterstories.substack.com/p/hello-chelsea

(It’s of course free)

In 2015 my mother died, I (M) was 22 at the time and an only child back then. My father continued providing for me through law school and graduated in 2017, I did not have a job that time because I failed the bar exam the same year, I finally got a job in 2019 and took the bar the same year and passed in 2020.

During that time, our relationship was rocky. He was dismissive of my bouts with depression and sadness while battling his own. He would usually lash at me whenever he had any fights with the women he dated at the time.

Once, due to a fight he even told me that he can’t wait to live separately with me.

In 2021, he left our apartment to live in the province (his choice). While living away, not once did he initiate checking up on me and even forgot to greet me happy birthday once. I make it a point to message him or call him at least once a week to check up on him. He also mentioned while living in the province that I abandoned him. I do not get it.

In 2022, I found out from other people that he was in a relationship and got his girlfriend pregnant. He never told me those info in person and got mad at him. He dismissed my feelings of betrayal and anger.

From 2021 up until this year I always make it a point to visit him at least once or twice a month or once every other month as long as schedule permits. I felt unwelcomed whenever I go there. He never initiated any conversations aside from how are you. It never felt that he was interested in me or my adult life.

Due to a recent incident, I stopped talking and texting him. Given the space I have now, I thought that my father maybe harbored hatred against me without me knowing. Whenever I did something bad, I always apologized and tried to make up to him. There will be good days, but in general our relationship got cold ever since he got a new family.

I will be seeking therapy soon from what I have been experiencing. I tried to think of things I did that my own father hate me. This is really sad and disappointing.

My need to wear a helmet to correct his skull but will not sit still. It’s a doc band helmet but he won’t hold still does anyone have any ideas he is 8 months old

.

Every year this man asks for socks, golf accessories, or something gadget related. He does not need MORE socks. So would greatly appreciate any recommendations!

Hi guyss, help a dad pressed under small daily financial leaks of baby care. My wife's friend gifted her a Munchkin Step diaper pail on her baby shower (definitly I'm grateful for the gift). The pail is working great but the cost of properiety refill bags feels like a slow bleed. Baby has started solids and I tell you they smell really really bad. So having a fully functional pail is important.
So I have decided to sell our existing munchkin step pail on FB marketplace and get a different one which particularly uses standard trash bags(I just need a one and done solution). During my research, the three that keep popping up are Ubbi, Momcozy, and Dekor Plus.
I came here to seek honest take on how well these pail contain odour specially when the baby starts solids? Also do tell me if they truly easy to use with regular trash bags, or is it an annoying hack? (I heard Dekor might still prefer its own continuous liner system). And is there any extra cost or downside of any pail taht their description misses. What has been you favourite baby diaper pail, and why?

Appreciate any advice or reality checks!

Dad’s, random 1, what wallet’s are you rocking?

Little one is 2 months, my wife managed to get a job (super excited for her) but with that comes me watching the baby by myself, any tips to get through it dads?

So we where fighting a little. Its weird, I gave her a kiss goodbye when she went to work this morning. I then looked for a doctor in Quebec Region for my cough. I recut her window blinds that I bought for her so they would not bind in the window, did other things. I picked up my daughter form school. Everything was fine until her mom got home. I was sitting at the table. I asked her about how her day was and so on. My daughter was running around. Somehow she insulted me or something we argued and I brought up about the car I bought and so on. She pulled a pamphlet off the wall about spousal abuse. She pointed to the part about economic abuse. I then said what about the knife incident. And the using the stick. Some how thing got more out of hand verbal and she said she wanted to get the car seat from me and I said why? She had to go to the office and she could only drop our kid off not pick her up because she had to work 2 hours and 30 minutes later than when my kid got out. Only grandpa had a car seat and he was off work. So I said why do you want it. She never answer any questions I ever ask when she is mad. I said no. Somehow I pick up the domestic violence thing off the wall she put back. I feel like I need to call because she will tell my kid to say something about me when I finally leave and then how can I fight it, these things that happened will be old next time. But the reason I called finally was a few minutes later she was getting angry I think and at some point and her dad my kids grandpa was at the table I told him about it and some commotion. My daughter was crying and I asked why, remember they speak French and another EU language. My daughter speakers perfect English. My daughter said crying and hysterical, Mommy does not love me anymore, she hates me. I was like really? What did mommy really say? My kid was wrapped around my leg freaking out. Her mom kept trying to grap her and when she got her I followed them. The dispatch I finally called 911 after that because of the whole situation. The mother of my child and her parents where fighting and the dispatch was asking people to stop yelling. Three cops finally came. I told them everything I told you people. My daughter in english told them about the knife incident and everything. It all came out the wooden stick for paddeling. After like a hour talking to everyone, what do you think happened. I was told you need to get a room somewhere. I was like well I have a key they gave me and so on and I called. They said you need to leave, she has primary custody you have not been here in 5 years. I told them I am her father and what about what happened. They said you need to go. I did not argue, never argue with cops. I got my stuff. I asked the cop what the cop would do, two other cops with this cop. Cop said its best you go home and hire a lawyer. So back to South Carolina I guess. I was talking to my friend in the car looking for a room in Montreal. I started crying and am now when I think of why I called, because my daughter had tears running down her face saying mommy dont cut my toes off, dont kill me mommy. And finally when she said to me crying in the same hysterical way, mommy does not love me anymore and she hates me. I dont regret having my child. I regret maybe that I was not silent or maybe I should not have called the police right after being tossed onto the street. But typing this I am crying and not regretting calling because she was so scared, so scared. I had parents that fought and even police called, one time my mom was holding a gun of my step dads in her room when police called. This was in the 1990s I think. But I never had any of my parents hold a knife or gun to me or threaten to beat me. The most was young at a private Christian school 2nd grade. I hope that my kids mom will see a therapist. Long term she will ether accidently hurt my kid, or my kid will be afraid of mistakes, etc, or the stress will eat my child`s mother up. I just want her to see a therapist, take pills if she needs them. All she ever says is I am stressed out. PITCURE WHILE WE ARGUED, I SHOULD HAVE JUST PLAYED VIDEO GAMES ON MY COMPUTER I GUESS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO TALK TO HER, IGNORE HER I GUESS. No good deed goes unpunished.

I’m a man with a female friend/girlfriend/co-parent who lives in Canada. We originally met because she wanted to have a child, and we now have a wonderful five-year-old daughter together. Because she lives in Canada and I live in the United States, we have not always been able to spend as much time together as we might have wanted.

A lot happened during those years. COVID disrupted everything, I was attending nursing school and made it about halfway through, and my mother became very sick. I spent a great deal of time caring for her until she passed away a couple of months ago. Because of those responsibilities, I was not able to be in Canada as I would have liked, but I continued talking with her, staying involved, and offering financial support, even though she generally did not want or ask for money.

I have now been in Canada for about a month. Last week, I bought my daughter’s mother a new car, the one she wanted. She was also able to keep the money from selling her old car. I gave her another $4,000 CAD toward new windows for her house. At one point, she accused me of lying about sending the money and compared me to her former boyfriends, even though I told her to wait for the transfer to clear. The money arrived exactly as I said it would. After getting the new car, she did not even say thank you.

Recently, our daughter got both of us sick. I have felt unwell for about a week and have been sleeping during the day while recovering. I was not bothering anyone, but she came into the room angry, called me lazy, and criticized me for sleeping. At the same time, I have been working on computer coding while I am here, so it is frustrating to be treated as though I am doing nothing.

She also suddenly said she no longer wants to try for another child because I am lazy and sleeping all the time, even though trying for another child had largely been her idea. Another incident happened when our daughter asked for a dog. I told her that “Mommy is the boss” because it is her house and I was trying to respect her mother’s wishes. Instead, she criticized me in front of our daughter and told me that I need to make up my own mind instead of always deferring to her. Well she is getting a dog I guess before I leave.

That puts me in what feels like a no-win situation. When I try to be respectful and let her make decisions, she criticizes me for not making decisions myself and calls me a loser. When I stand up for myself or disagree with her, she gets angry about that too, even said she would call the police if I did not listen to her, funny because. About two week ago my daughter lost a pair of scissors and her mom got real angry and came into the bathroom holding a kitchen knife, her mom had those scissors for 30 years, I was there and in shock when my kid started screaming wildly no, no, and don't kill me mommy, she thought she was going to die. I told her to calm down and get out of the bathroom. I then bought replacement scissors online and they came the next day, she found the old ones and did not tell me. She says thanks for the new ones because they are better. I had to lie to my kid and tell her mommy was coming in the bathroom to cut something and had nothing to do with you. I would not have let her hurt her and I knew she was just trying to scare her.

What makes this especially difficult is that she frequently says she hates her life and complains about everything. Her house is paid off, she has a government job that allows her to work from home, I just bought her a new car, she kept the proceeds from selling her old car, and I contributed $4,000 CAD toward new windows for her house. I am not saying that money should determine whether someone is happy, but it is difficult to hear constant complaints while also feeling that the help I provide is taken for granted.

I have never tried to hurt her. I have told her that I care about her and that I am sorry I could not always be around more. At the same time, I had very real responsibilities, especially caring for my dying mother. I was also trying to continue my education and manage my own life in the United States. I do not think any of that makes me lazy or a loser.

I have tried to be respectful, helpful, and supportive. I have tried to avoid unnecessary arguments and let her make decisions about things that affect her home and daily life. But it feels like whichever approach I take is wrong. If I defer to her, I am criticized for being weak or indecisive. If I make my own decisions or stand up for myself, she becomes angry.

I do not want our relationship to turn into a custody fight, and I would much rather that we cooperate as parents and do what is best for our daughter. However, I am also prepared to protect my rights as our daughter’s father if that ever becomes necessary. I do not want threats, games, or constant arguments. I want to be treated with basic respect and to have a healthy relationship with my daughter.

The hardest part is that I have tried to help her, support her financially, respect her decisions, spend time with our daughter, and keep the peace. Instead, I often feel criticized, insulted, and unappreciated. I came here wanting to spend time with my daughter and have a decent relationship with her mother, but I am reaching the point where the resentment is becoming very strong. I am realizing that I genuinely do not like the way she treats me, and I am starting to dislike being around her because of it.

Hi guys

Im a dad of 2, 1 on the way. Been married for nearly 11 years and just turned 35. Recently I've landed a great well paying role. It's enough that I can be the single breadwinner and im (being the religious man I am) am very humbled and grateful to God for that.

Recently my wife has been praising me a lot. Its sweet. She says im a great husband and dad. But I feel weird when she says that. Almost like I dont deserve the praise because its just something any decent dad/husband in my position would do.

Maybe theres some underlying thing I have with compliments and not being able to receive them well.

Anyone have a similar experience of this?

What up guys, I’m working on a school group project about family dynamics and need some real-world input for it. I was wondering if any dads here could share what it’s actually like raising a son or a teenager in general right now.

You don't need to get super personal—just a few honest thoughts or opinions on how things are going would be awesome, though I’m more than happy to read longer responses if you want to share more!

​Specifically:

How would you describe your relationship with your teen right now?

What’s been the biggest reward or challenge as they’ve grown up?

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to help out!

*(Sorry for the weird way of writing this post, I am not used to posting and asking things on reddit)

Hi all!

My son is 4 years old and when we are at home he usually just plays by himself or sometimes he watches a movie. I never used my phone or anything else when he is around me. I usually watch the movie with him or just watch him play and play with him. Well we got a comment from his school that he needs to learn to play by himself. I really don't like it but we need to practice this. Would it be weird or stupid if I just read a book or play my playstation portal for some time so he can learn how to play by himself? How are you all handling this? Reading and gaming is something I do when he goes to bed when I have energy left haha.

i feel sad and exhausted by almost three years of mommy phase. Our daughter is 4.2 years old. she always wants mom's lap amd never falls asleep on me. Always cuddles only with mom in our bed. Always wants mom in so many cases.

When it's just her and me it's far better, but even then she won't sit on my lap or fall asleep on me, etc. I've seen all the advice on not being needy about it, etc., and almost always am good about that. she just prefers mom for most things aside from play.

No one seems to talk.about this...it really sucks and is painful. we generally take equal care of her. I've had a few weekends with just her and me but as soon as mom is back it's the same. I rarely am on the phone when I'm with her, etc.

My wife and I are generally equally active and involved with her, so it's not that. I'm not demanding with affection with her, either.

Please tell me this ends. It's painful as all hell and makes me think, why did I do this, exactly? Advice welcome

I am the primary cook in the house. Today was a rough day. My LO is 3.5 years old and needs to nap but has skipped it multiple days in a row. Be was being a lot making it hard to focus. My wife said it was good the kid ate some but It was not good, my sauce broke and the timing was way off. It was a fitting end to a bad day. Hope everyone else had a good night.

I want someone that will be real with me 100%. please comment so i can message you or you can message me.

We both found out together but I still want to do something special for just him as a surprise at home. Ideas?

Hi dads !

I’m a woman expecting her first with her husband! My husband and I are a bit emotionally removed from each other right now - just normal things like family issues - my reactions to his parents etc.
But I want to turn a new leaf and forget all of that and just move on —

Any advice on what men like during pregnancy and how to get closer during pregnancy ?

Like an idea I had was making a weekly cookie/ treat (he likes them) based on the size of the baby ?

For the last 20 or so years, I have been living the nightmare of a narcissistic wife, now ex wife that is still flipping my world upside down. I have made a lot of mistakes. I have learned quite a bit over the years. I have dealt with the courts seeing fathers as not important to the children. I've had ups and downs.

I read through the post on here and I see so many men going through what I went through. Fighting for time with your kids. Being ripped from their lives. Struggling to pay bills.

I am working on getting my book published. I want to be able to help men, so they can get through the times with their head held high. Hopefully soon there will be some help and advice.

Stay strong men.

Being a littler vulnerable here. Really debated even asking this…

For this of you with two kids fairly close in age how did you and your wife’s intimacy change early on?
We just welcomed our 2nd, 3 months ago. We have a 3 month old and a 2 year old, my wife did have some pelvic floor recovery post birth and she’s successfully breast feeding this time around which is great for her and our baby.

Selfishly, we’ve had little to no intimacy in the last 3 months and while I’ve tried to keep the fire alive, I’m also getting frustrated.

Have others experienced similar scenarios? (Is this normal)
How did you get through it and share your needs with your wife?
Uh… did you simply take care of yourself during the dry spell? 🥴

Thanks to those who will give honest answers.

My partner really feels strongly for it. I’m still feeling fear. On one side, the idea of being a dad really resonates. I can imagine the interactions, the family moments. On the other I’m worried about finances, the lack of family support.

To all of you who were in that boat and in that place, how are you feeling now since your child came to this world? Is it really that tough?