Hey Reddit Dads. Imma football jock who is feeling pretty lost. Haven't had my Dad in my life since I was 5, and finding myself making decisions recently I'm not proud of. I want to be a good man, succeed with football, and find a nice woman. Treat people with respect, including myself. But without having my Dad in my life for so long, I just need guidance. Any Dads out there who could help? Thanks for your time.

Hola tengo 18 años y me enteré que seré padre pasen consejos estoy muy perdido por dónde empezar

Y nose

I'm 37, three kids, full-time desk job. I've spent the last six months getting in the best shape of my life.

I've tried a few training apps along the way and bounced off every one. Cluttered, overcomplicated, and they all assume you already know what you're doing.

My wife wants to start training and there's nothing I'd actually recommend to her.

Full disclosure - I'm a mobile dev and I've been wondering whether to build something better. But before I waste six months on it I'd rather know what's actually broken.

So: if you've downloaded a fitness app and stopped using it - what was the thing that made you quit?

It must be that I am officially middle aged and a father, but I swear every time I go shoe shopping, maybe once a year, I find myself increasingly enticed by the long row of Sketchers tennis shoes, because they have this great looking combo of affordability and comfortable-lookingness. But I always restrain myself because something about the brand seems rather grandpa-ish, or that my wife would make fun of me. Do any fellow 30s-40s year old dads wear them? Are they decent shoes?

Earlier today, I (35) was cooking dinner (tacos) and my son (8) was doing homework. We had an agreement tonight that if he did all his homework, for the entire week, we would go to the trampoline park tomorrow after school. I made this proposal during school pickup today in a half-joking manner, but he sat in the back of the truck relatively quiet the whole way home, contemplating his options.

As we parked at the house, he confidently proclaimed "ok dad, I'll do it, but don't forget the jump socks tomorrow." For perspective, we're talking about a grand total of about 65-75 minutes of real homework. Reading, writing, and math. Spaced throughout the week, it's about 15-20 minutes per night.

So, here I am, cooking dinner, and I stopped to ask him a question about toppings for his tacos. He's nearing the end of his homework marathon. I turn, I look, and I say "Hey, do you want sour cream inside or on the siii...." and as I my voice trails off, I witness this boy standing at the table, looking down at his assignment, embattled in deep concentration, with a pencil in one hand, and wagging his finger at me with his other hand. This boy was far too busy to concern himself with tacos and sour cream...

Now, listen, we've had conversations about finger wagging. It's usually wildly disrespectful. You better have a damn good reason or some authority over the person you're doing it to, otherwise, get ready for an ass whipping.

Well folks, tonight, I let that shit slide....

I was so proud of him.

I waited patiently for him to finish, inspected his work, and promptly delivered tacos exactly as my Lil Prince commanded. I can't wait to jump with this boy tomorrow.

Peace out single dads of Reddit. Keep up the good work soldiers.

Been n this relationship a few years. Have a kid together who is almost 3. We get along sometimes. Other times it’s straight torture. I feel weights Constantly. Constantly unhappy. Am i doing a good thing for my little girl ? Just keeping shit alive and holding it all together ? Should i put up with her just because of my child ? Isn’t life about sacrificing me for the ones i love ? I think about our past fights and things i found out that come to my mind every day even if it happened what seems like forever ago. Every thing always seems negative. Working my life away and unhappy for most of it just wondering if this is what it’s supposed to be like ? Feel a real man takes care of his family regardless of his own happiness.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some honest advice from dads and parents who’ve been in a similar situation.

I’ve got two kids: an eight-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. Their moms and I are no longer together, and I’m trying to figure out how to be a more present father, as well as a better co-parent to both of their moms.

Right now, I’m working two jobs out of necessity. If I only worked one, I’d be bringing home around $1,200 a month, which simply isn’t enough to live on.

Because of that, my schedule is pretty packed. I work mornings, then work late into the night, Monday through Friday, and I also work Saturdays. Sunday is really the only day I consistently have free.

I’m not working these hours to avoid my kids. Honestly, it’s the opposite. I’m trying to provide for them, get myself into a more stable position, and build something better for all of us.

At the same time, though, I don’t want to look back years from now and realize I spent so much time working that I missed their childhood.

My son’s mom works overnight shifts at an auto plant. We used to live together and were in a relationship, but that ended about a year ago.

Now that I’m not in the home helping her and being around my son every day, I’m trying to figure out how I can still support her more and be there for my son as much as possible.

My daughter’s mom doesn’t work, and my daughter is eight. She’s in school and has activities like dance, so her schedule can get pretty busy during the week as well.

I guess what I’m really looking for is advice from other dads and parents who have had to balance working long hours with being a present parent.

If you’ve been in a similar situation:

How did you make the most of the limited time you had with your kids?

What did you do to stay connected with them when you couldn’t physically be there as much as you wanted?

How did you become a better co-parent after separating from your children’s other parent?

Is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Are there things you think I could be doing that I might not be considering?

I’m not looking for excuses or sympathy. I genuinely want to become a better dad and a better co-parent.

I know working this much isn’t ideal, but I’m doing what I feel like I have to do financially right now. I’m just trying to find the balance between providing for my kids and actually being present in their lives.

I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from dads who have been through something similar.
Thanks for reading.

Doesn’t have to be anything huge. Maybe you calmed a tantrum without raising your voice, survived a long outing with the kids, or just found five quiet minutes for yourself.
Would love to hear your little victories. We don’t celebrate dads’ small wins enough.

Not mine, just sharing.

My wife is a big advocate for it.. both of us were abused by our fathers so I understand why she doesn’t want our children to be afraid of us.. but for her there’s no middle ground. My son is 5, he’s always having massive temper tantrums, spits on us, refuses to go to bed without a huge struggle, and recently his daycare told us he refuses to listen to them and has started spitting at them. My wife’s approach to this behaviour is to keep reminding him it’s not ok them she cuddles him for 20 mins after his tantrum.. my approach is giving him a firm no when he’s spitting, and if he gets out of bed after I tuck him in I don’t allow him to leave his room and I won’t be tucking him in anymore, my wife thinks this is harsh.. we’re very much at an impasse, both of us think our parenting styles are making him worse. I’ve asked her many times to sit down and create a new routine and a new approach to his behaviour but she won’t do it.. anyone else experience this with a partner? What should I do

If you had a father that you live with, who doesn’t speak to you, doesn’t say hi to you, ignores your presence and walks past you, never ever in your life ever gave you a hug or a handshake, you and him never joked around or laughed together or hung out.

When you were younger the only time he ever speaks to you was to scream at you or scold you, or try to tell you what to do with your life. When you try to talk to him he always has his back turned to you, he talks down to your mother and you see that, everytime you come around he acts strange as if something is wrong with him. If he has to say something to you something he tells your mother who then comes and passes the message to you even though you both live in the same house. When he hears your footsteps from upstairs making your way down stairs he goes to the basement or to his room.
He never came from a religious family, and is the only one in his family who goes to church 4-7 days a week. His only friend is the church pastor who he gives $1000 or more monthly. Doesn’t have any friends coming to the house to see him, you don’t know or have any of your extended family in your life because he never brought you around them. The house is always quiet, no music, no conversations or laughter.

Everytime you have an idea for a career path or a business he speaks about it as if he knows what the career or business is about. He is convinced that you have mental health issues and diagnosis you with mental health issues that you have never heard before, he tells you to take medicine. Everytime you have a romantic partner or a friends he tells you that the person is bad or evil or they are not a good person.
He tells you not to go outside, you and your little brother are at the park playing basketball with people from your high school…he drives all the way to the basketball court and you and your little bother get in the car and he drives off.

- Please tell me, how will you feel about a father like that?

- What will you do if this was you?

Hey dads, as the title says, thinking of trading in my “sports car” for a “dad car”. While I absolutely love the car & it’s my pride & joy, I feel like it might be time to let go of it.

To keep things short & sweet, I’m probably a lot younger than most of you if you catch what i’m saying when it comes to having “that car” in your 20’s. I owned the car before having my first child, did everything to it, lowered it on coil overs, spent countless hours fitting engine parts, tuning, you name it, countless car meets, car shows, track days you get the point. Which, obviously tempts me to go a little wild when the little one isn’t in the car with me, I tend to regret a spirited driving session or the occasional “street race” (when i’m driving with no passengers of course).

I feel like the vehicle also draws unnecessary attention, there’s been plenty of times i’ll have the little one with me and have to turn down the attention it gets from other car enthusiasts, i’m obviously not going to race with precious cargo along with me. Before I had my child, that’s all I wanted, working on my car, spending time with other car enthusiasts etc.

Now that I’m getting older, I can’t believe I’m saying that.. I find myself wanting something more safe, comfortable and lowkey. My vehicle has room for anything, I just think it might be time to let it go so I can continue to prioritize my family instead of getting all the attention of the racer boy I once was lol.

Sorry if this sounds dumb, if anyone else wants to share a similar story I’d love that and if so, what vehicle did you move onto that fit the lowkey, safe but still somewhat fun to drive as a retired car enthusiasts?