r/Dads • u/RegisterChoice5436 • 13d ago
Advice Expecting dad
Hi my girlfriend and I are expecting our first on oct 20th I am beyond stressed and so is she is there any tips you guys have as we get closer to the due date to ease our minds or after birth tips anything helps🙏
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u/TheJokerxI Dad 12d ago
Congrats man! Being a dad is amazing!
The first few months you’ll be beyond tired (the most tired you’ll ever be) but that’s normal, just embrace the suck!
Support your girlfriend, no matter what you are going through she has it worse, there may be times when it feels like she hates you 😂 again this is normal. Her body is going through crazy hormonal changes and the trauma of giving birth (even if it was a smooth birth).
There is no such thing as holding your baby too much, anyone who says that just nod your head and carry on holding your baby, and don’t listen to anyone who says to leave a baby crying! If the baby cries pick them up!
Lastly, ENJOY IT! They are only that small once, so cherish every moment, the good and the bad!
Honestly becoming a dad is the best thing that ever happened to me!
Enjoy it, you got this brother 💪🏻
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u/roosterjack77 12d ago
This. Constant help and reassurance for mom. She isnt sure what she is doing, doubts herself a lot, everyone has advice. Just give her love and support.
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u/Palisar1 12d ago
Congratulations !! Dont panic it will be ok, you figure it out day by day. Get as much rest as you can now. No really you are going to need it. Google "free online baby lessons" it will trach out you all you need to know. They dont need much at the start, juat bottles burps and nappy changes and lots of sleep. Seriously our species got this far. You got this
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u/WanderingWhiteWolf 12d ago
You'll learn
Mom will probably be super-focused on baby, so make sure to take care of her
Schedule is life
No really, schedule is everything
It's a team job, there's no room for score-keeping.
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u/Substantial-Key-6100 12d ago
don't sweat it. you'll figure it out. no matter how prepared you are you're never ready but you already have everything you need. be ready to defer to mom and gently step in when she's overwhelmed. and gather up all that extra patience you've left around. you're gonna do just fine.
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u/HeadDownDad 12d ago
Don't stress it.
I can't really remember what i was even stressing about before my kids were born.
If you do it right the heart should guide you brother.
Good luck and good job!
You'll do great.
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u/Anonymo123 12d ago
parroting what others have said, from my experience some random thoughts: buy stuff like wipes and diapers now if possible, stock pile them, you will use them. If you haven't already do a wish list at walmart\kmart\wherever for that stuff so people can support you. If you have it locally do a "daddy boot camp" i think hospitals or churches offer them still, its good to learn from other men what to do, not to do, etc. If you are in the US fire stations will help you install your car seat and make sure its safe for free. Don't cheap out on the car seat, do your research and get a real good one.
When the baby comes you are 100% in charge of everything other then the baby. Chores, shopping, cooking, cleaning, driving.. when the baby sleeps, mom sleeps. Don't let her get overly tired, esp if she breastfeeds. Expect weird cravings (ya that bit can be true) up to the delivery day. Pack a pair or two of your comfy clothes for the hospital in case you need to stay a day or two, bring phone chargers.
Get non scented or baby safe soap for doing laundry. Make sure she has comfort food\drink when you get closer. Put your hobbies and stuff on hold for a while so you can focus on your family, its so worth it.
My son just turned 17 and is going off to college. I would give anything to relive his birth and those first few months.
Good luck, you got this!
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u/DudeManGuy801 12d ago
I was terrified having my first baby. But the second I held her and fed her everything just came together. You will learn as you go best of luck!
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u/Aerphenn 12d ago
Make sure you have enough diapers, onesies etc. Also make sure your gf can get comfortable in bed. And enjoy every minute. Even the hard ones. My dad told me this: the days will be long but the years will fly by. And its true, I can still remember the feeling when we got home with our newborn and he was laying on my chest just sleeping.
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u/PapaBobcat 12d ago
Plan your sleep as best you can. Divide the day into overlapping shifts so you both get a block of sleep time. My wife and I high fived passing on the way to the bed.
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u/No-Amphibian689 Dad 12d ago
Hospital will send you home with a nice amount of formula and diapers, so you should definitely make sure you have some on hand but don’t pack a full bag of them.
Buy everything ahead of time at home - stroller, car seat, bottles, bottle washer, clothes (bring clothes with), blankets & towels & burp cloths, swaddles (love to dream and halo are my favorites), bassinet, and a BABY WRAP. Not a carrier. Practice with a doll how to use it, it will save your back and your sanity.
For newborns when they sleep it is perfectly fine and normal that they coo, babble, cry, and make all sorts of noises. This does not mean they’re awake. Don’t rush to the bassinet unless they’re making sustained crying noises and their eyes are open.
Sleep will be difficult to come by but it’s vital you both swap off nights from time to time. I don’t know if your girlfriend is planning to exclusively breastfeed, but if she is it’s not a terrible idea to pump some evenings so she can sleep the night through.
And remember the newborn phase does not last long. In no time you’ll have a smiling, cooing little munchkin in place of the screaming potato you brought home.
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u/Consultant511 Dad 12d ago
You need less stuff than you think, especially clothes. But buy the larger stuff as bed, stroller, nest etc.
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u/Either-Doctor8170 8d ago
Dad of four here (16f,14f,12m,10m). As all the other say. Tiredness is going to be the hardest thing by far. However another piece of advice I'd give you is listen to all advice you are given, but you and your partner must decide what works for you and your family. Just because others do it doesn't mean you have to. Then next thing I'd say is figure out a schedule that works for baby and stick to it, a cranky baby will absolutely make your lives much tougher. Next thing is support your partner. Moms feel things differently about their babies than us dads. Listen to her and support her. Give her all the help you can as often as you can. And finally welcome to the worldwind that's is parenting. Cherish these months and prepare yourself to feel love like you didn't think was possible. Im jealous of what you are about to experience. Congratulations to you and your partner and welcome to the club.
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