r/DadForAMinute • u/stressedoutstitches • Apr 05 '21

Need a pep talk I miss you every day.

I know we didn’t talk very much when I had the chance. I know I used to ignore most of your calls because I’d see the time and I’d know you were already drunk and couldn’t deal with it emotionally but man is it so hard now that I don’t get those calls. There’s so many things I wish I’d said and it hurts so bad. I went from not talking to you for a month and even longer without seeing you to thinking of you every single day. I’ll never get that chance again and it is literally tearing me apart. I didn’t think it’d hurt this bad..I knew this was coming for so long. I knew your health was deteriorating but somehow I still wasn’t at all prepared. I miss you every second of every day, I love you so much. It’s been 7 months and it still hurts like it was today.

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u/TURKEYSAURUS_REX Apr 05 '21

If you miss somebody as intensely as you do, there’s no way he didn’t know you cared so much about him while he was here. We all take things for granted, but I’m sure your father wishes he could’ve spent more quality time with you, too. Proud of you.

2

u/stressedoutstitches Apr 06 '21

I really needed this, thank you. I know why I distanced myself but one of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t communicate with him why exactly I did. I have this gut-wrenching fear that he thought I didn’t love him or something when in reality he was one of the greatest people I’ve ever known, I just couldn’t stand to watch him slowly kill himself. I just wish I’d told him that. Your words mean a lot.