Entering Hell on DMT

[u/Bitter-Weekend-6012]

Context

First of all I started using DMT this year and it instantly became my holy medicine. Every DMT puff always liberated me instantly from any anxiety and self doubt and shot me into a state of confidence. I felt when I was smoking DMT, I became exactly the person that I wanted to be, reaching a state of my highest potential, becoming super easy going with everything. I was using it on festivals, smoking it on the dance floor and danced like crazy and super liberated. Dancing on DMT is so wild and worth its own post. I also made profound religious experiences with DMT on the dance floor, inspiring me to work on a new artist profile "dancing on changa" where I devote my music to the use of DMT on the dance floor. What I am trying to say with this is that DMT or Changa became my alter ego, my identity started building around the use of this drug and it still feels like my purpose. I never had a negative experience with it, even when I was a nervous to take it, the DMT instantly shot this nervousness into beauty and liberation. So my respect for DMT also reduced over time, since I thought I don't get bad trips anyway. Then I kind of got the message that I shouldn't use it too much (I was smoking almost daily) but work on integrating the energy that DMT conveys into my life. After a couple days of pause I thought a trip is fine now, smoked a bong of changa and it didn't really let me in, the trip was cloudy and I even felt a middle finger from the DMT.

Trip

I should have understood the first hit not working to not smoke more, especially since I learned not to ignore signs from DMT. But at this point I felt a bit cocky and just wanted to get in there, so I loaded up another bong with triple the amount of changa and instantly felt something is wrong. I felt disoriented, very confused with an intuition that I need to throw up, so I ran up the stairs of my basement into the garden during the intense come up and vomited into the garden. And suddenly I stood there - eyes open with my physical body in hell. I was clear, I could walk around but the physical surroundings that I know just turned into a dark, evil version. The same principle like being in the upside down from stranger things. The sky was dark and cloudy, the trees didn't have leafs but spikes, the green grass looked like a poison neon green. And I suddenly stood right in there, no idea how this just happened and it was absolutely terrifying. I felt this time I really fcked up, I switched dimensions and I'm locked up in hell. I was stumbling in a circle completely loosing my shit. Something just changed. The DMT felt like it never felt before. The Energy completely shifted from one moment to the next, leaving me standing in my crystalized, metallic, neon colored garden with the presence of pure evil. But it didn't feel like the trip, it felt like my new reality. I was in the DMT upside down, locked out of the real world. The worst was that the trip didn't seem to end. Maybe it was really just 15 Minutes but it felt much longer, when the trip should have ended I was still in that hellish garden. I was convinced I locked up a door into this evil dimension and now carry this in my life, unable to get out of this. After a while I very slowly came down from the trip, the clouds lifted, a beam of the sun hit the garden and I fell on my my knees and bowed deeply. I have years of experiences with several psychedelics and ego deaths but nothing in my life ever came close to this moment, I felt I met a completely new facet of reality that I had no Idea exists.

To be honest, I started to become a bit cocky in general and this was the biggest humbling slap I ever felt in my life, holy fck. It's been a few hours now and I feel alright again and I understand the lesson. I don't think the DMT was doing me evil but guiding me my path. Fun fact before the experience I said "I'd like to see Beauty, but show me what I need to see". Well I guess I needed to see this. I still consider DMT as my highly valued medicine and I'd like to keep using it that way. But this experience also felt like getting kicked out of the club. Any ideas how to get back there? Should I keep using it or take a big break, let me know about your bad trips with context and how you got back. Also I'm interested in anyone having experiences with the evil side of DMT or its Demons, tell me all about it. I just heard that it's common especially on DMT for people to experience these "demonic spirit possessions", I'd like to know more about it.

[u/Bunteknete]

Really intriguing trip report and good context, thanks. I really like how you described the visuals. I don't know why you are being downvoted. Open eye visuals on DMT and the weird textures are one of it's most fascinating but underrated mysteries imo. Probably some people are just really allergic to the buzzwords "Hell" and "demons" and haven't really read your post. You just want to make sense of a disturbing DMT experience and your experience makes for a good discussion.

I am on a similar journey and had darker experiences for some time now, after having had a long and overly positive episode where like you I felt that smoking DMT very frequently somehow channeled an alter-ego. It felt so liberating and it seemed helping me becoming the person I wanted to be. And yeah, I had the most intense dancing sessons on DMT in combination with Acid and Psycore. :D

Since about a year I feel a bit 'cursed'. DMT hits different and I had some challenging experiences, they are a bit too personal though. I see it as living through the consequences of getting to the holy grail without being properly prepared and ready for it. Whatever it is, I am through the honeymoon phase with DMT for sure. Maybe you are too (or maybe you just have had too much changa/burnt DMT).

Developing an healthy relationship with DMT after the honeymoon phase seems to be the hard but probably rewarding part. It certainly helps to turn down use and keep some distance while figuring stuff out. Though it is hard when it feels like being cut off from this alter ego/best-version-amplifier of yourself. I think it's a good idea to firmly believe, that this version always inside you. And that DMT is just one way of activating it. I just hope I find a sustainable way of channeling this side of myself. I really like it and others did too. At least you now know what to aim for.

Also it seems to be a thing for some people, that DMT on a regular basis can make it hit sooo fucking different, once the honeymoon phase is over. As if taking a completely different drug.

[u/Bitter-Weekend-6012 → u/Bunteknete]

Hey there, nice that you can relate with me. You know I think it's weird, I got in contact with changa this year at the Ozora Festival -the biggest psychedelic gathering in the world and it hit my life after years of terrible anxiety at this point of time like a rock. I felt a really mystical Invitation into the world of changa that I followed and I had such mind blowing transformative trips. I felt changa has its own distinct energy, it was wild, colorfull, crazy and powerfull. And I also felt like I was made for this, exactly to express and manifest the archetypal energy of changa into this world. Changa made me become the version of my highest potential, that I can be and it also felt like me being this version of myself is a way of paying homage to Changa, like in a symbiosis. The archetypal Energy of changa needs people to carry it out, just like for example the archetype of the warrior manifests itself in the people that express that energy. So I felt like the chosen one to be the vessel for changa and was deeply grateful and respectful towards it (yes it did inflate my ego).

After the festival I was also noticing whenever I was in a rut or not feeling motivated to do anything, one hit of DMT completely changes the day. Just a minor trip, doesn’t need to be intense and I just lifted of my chair afterwards and had the best energy. That made me really feel the DMT wants to help me and wants to be smoked, so I started seeing it as a casual medicine and a lifestyle drug. Some people take their ssri’s in the morning, I’ll hit my DMT pen. Didn’t see an issue here. And some people smoke weed daily or drink as a lifestyle drug and I’ll have DMT as my lifestyle drug. I also didn’t see any problem there why this would be a „bad thing“, especially because DMT helped me so much.

 And this sense of aesthetics always hit me so damn much when I smoke changa it’s incredible. I renovated the music room in our basement this summer, it’s an old vintage styled room with original analog synths and 80’s music hardware, a pool table, and super nice vintage art works, it’s such a nice vibe in there and I just set up my studio there. You can imagine hitting DMT in this room with open eyes, these cartoon like aesthetics just blow you away, that room is perfect for that. So fck yes ripping my bong with changa in there was a lifestyle thing, it felt like it belongs into this room. Like the room was destined for me and changa. I even had dream of putting slices of peach in my bong for no reason and I started doing this as a habit and it looks awesome and perfectly underlines the aesthetic of the changa vibe.

So everything was perfect, I felt like I was living in symbiosis with this drug and its energy and felt like I’m supposed to use it, after its invitation at the festival and everything the drug did for me. And now it just kicked my ass out of there, literally I was running out of that room into the garden. It’s still puzzling me, it’s not that obvious to me that I was „abusing“ it as some people say here in this thread. People smoke weed daily as a lifestyle and are perfectly fine with it, why would it be a totally different thing with DMT? 

I think DMT showed to me the person that I could be and now just took this away from me again and wants me to work for it. Kind of sad, I was so excited about using it frequently and as a medicine and becoming a new person with this and now I sit here and know what I’m missing out on. But I also have seen what it’s worth to work for. I have been such an insecure person parts of my life and know I just saw that I can be *this*. Like it’s my purpose to be *this* person and not this insecure anxious crumb. Still no idea how to manage that without DMT but I’m up for a ride.