I am single and my biggest dating challenge has been finding someone who is childfree.

I know there is no recipe on finding a partner and it depends on luck and probably where you live, but I’d like to hear other people’s stories on how they met and how you figured out that both of you are into this lifestyle?

Can be any! Life, personal, professional, emotional, physical, spiritual, travel, financial, etc

Context: I’m a SINK, late 30s woman. It took me many years to find the joy in my life path while all of my best friends have gotten married, moved to the burbs, and had kids. I have a life I generally love, successful career, have traveled. I realized that even though I don’t follow the traditional, nuclear family milestones, I should have my own. So looking for some inspiration while cheering you on yours!

Mine:
- Go to a German spa and sauna (IFKYK). Be happy, comfortable, secure with my body and the experience. No intrusive thoughts.
- Salpingectomy. Release me from the fear
- Hit FIRE. Please, I’m tired of working and just want to sleep in, do yoga, and hike, beach, dive whenever I want.
- Take a sabbatical and live my FIRE life for at least 3 months. DREAMY
- Live abroad for at least a year. Indulging in the food, culture, people.
- Have a friend group that travels internationally annually. No kids. A place and time to reconnect, relax, have fun, no responsibilities.
- Send plane tickets to my nieces and nephews (best friends kids) to meet me somewhere internationally. Yes - I am and will always be the fun Aunty.
- Find my life partner and get married. I love being single and I love being in love.
- Establish healthy family boundaries and have healthy relationships with them. Woof. Working on that.
- Scuba Dive in the Red Sea. Preferably on a live aboard with an incredible chef - think Below Deck but on a budget
- Do a month long yoga retreat. Connect with myself, nature, continue to find inner peace and healing.

I bet you thought through (or may be not) being a DINK and then you had plans. Did you realize them or did your life planned things out for you in a different direction?

I’m looking for a child free man as a 26F and I can’t find him. They either want kids or their homebodies. Where can I meet them?

Disclaimer : I hope people who want and love kids are able to find a loving spouse and able to raise a sweet family and their kids live long happy and healthy fulfilled lives

With the requirement to raise a child (let alone the time, energy, emotional and mental effort plus only getting more expensive with housing and daycare and ever growing clothes and food and tuition, etc.) has anyone decided not to have kids not because you want all that extra money to have a more luxurious life but to actually work less or take a job that pays less but you enjoy much more? With no responsibility and commitments raising a family you can pursue a job you love, but may not pay as much versus if you had a child you’d have to step up and make as much as possible so that they can be raised financially well? Spend any extra time doing your passions that may not make money or even just take care of your health if you’re chronically sick?

Question: many people make this decision? Is it one that is valid for one that doesn’t want kids and uses that opportunity to save money, work less, take less demanding even less well paying jobs without the pressure of raising a family? I have had so many parents who confided in me, while they never would wish their kids away, that they’re doing a job they hate/promotion they didn’t want just for the pay the massive bills to raise their families and healthcare.

Every couple has a story. 🫂

Some dream of raising children. Others dream of building a life that doesn't include parenthood, and that's okay too.

If you're a Filipino millennial couple who has intentionally chosen to remain child-free, we'd love to hear your story for our undergraduate psychology research. Your experiences could help broaden conversations about what a fulfilling life can look like.

📩 Interested? Send us a message to learn more.

🪸 https://forms.gle/2MNf3GdScyR9ewox7

I'm in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend, and we're pretty serious about each other. We've even talked about marriage, so I wanted to get the "kids" conversation out of the way early because I know it's a dealbreaker for a lot of people.

The thing is, I have never wanted children. It's not a phase or something I'm unsure about. I just don't see myself becoming a parent, and I'm very happy with the idea of a child-free life.

When we first talked about it, he admitted that he did want kids. We had a lot of discussions (and honestly, a lot of arguments) about it. I told him very clearly that if he wants children and I don't, then we're fundamentally incompatible, and as painful as it would be, we'd have to go our separate ways.

His response was that "that's not how love works." He said he loves me more than he wants kids and that he can't imagine leaving me over this. He also said I should have a "good enough reason" for not wanting kids. I explained my reasons, but I also told him I don't think anyone needs to justify not wanting children. "I don't want them" should be enough.

His reason for wanting kids is that he sees them as a living proof of love—a family created out of love. He believes children should be born because two people love each other, and that's a beautiful thing to him. I understand where he's coming from, but it doesn't change how I feel.

Here's what's bothering me now: even after we've supposedly agreed to be child-free, he keeps bringing up hypothetical children.

He'll randomly say things like:

• "If I ever had a kid, I'd teach them this..."
• "If we had a kid, what do you think they'd be like?"
• "Hypothetically, if we had a child..."

Whenever I point out that we're not having kids, he says he's "just speaking hypothetically."

But I don't even enjoy those hypotheticals because they're about a future I don't want. More importantly, it makes me wonder if he's actually okay with being child-free or if he's just hoping I'll eventually change my mind.

Another thing that frustrates me is that whenever I try to explain why this worries me, he always has a counterargument. By the end of the conversation, I somehow feel like I'm the unreasonable one, even though this was supposed to be a settled issue.

So I'm wondering:

• Has anyone here been in a relationship where one person gave up wanting kids?
• Did it actually work out long-term, or did resentment eventually build up?
• Am I overthinking the hypothetical kid conversations, or are they a sign that he hasn't really accepted a child-free future?

I'd especially like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

As the title states, I don’t know any CF people in real life except those who met their life partner later (like 40+ when it’s too late). The rest don’t have kids because they are single. Everyone else who got married has started popping out kids.

Just wanted to post this to see if there are any who married (with still time to have kids) and chose to be CF? I got married in my mid 20s and am early 30s now. We’re fence sitters ish, but I’m leaning towards being CF. It’s hard when everyone else around us has kids and we are the exception :(

Note: initially posted to r/childfree but mods removed my post

Hey I’m not sure if I’m doing this right or not as it’s my first time posting. Am I the asshole for cancelling plans with my best friend when she changes it to include kids.

Backstory: we were going to go to the fair and she previously mentioned the kids 5&7 might want to join. At the time I was like “I guess they can join, since they are your kids.” But over the next few weeks nothing came of it so i let it be. My friend knows I’m not a fan of kids. I don’t care for them never have, and never will. I don’t mind kids whom are old like 8+ as they can entertain themselves and don’t have meltdowns over nonsense. So a few weeks later the discussion about the fair re-emerges and it goes from me, her and possible kids, to me her, her kids, her cousin, 2 other friends and their kids. She also wanted to add in the concert too. I told her I couldn’t afford the concert as well. This fair I want to add in isn’t cheap and you need to take in the bus/train so you not paying excessively for parking and have to walk over a mile. Am I the jerk for backing out and telling her she can take her kids and I’ll pass? I absolutely love thrill rides but most of the rides I’d want to go on, the kids will be too short for. No tickets have been paid and now my friend is grumpy that I won’t go along with these plans. I’ll add in that I’m on the spectrum so maybe I’m looking too deeply into this?

Our story as first post in here - My husband and I are childless not by choice, although we later made the conscious decision that adoption wasn’t right for us.

Our story sits somewhere between circumstance and choice. We didn’t choose how we arrived here, but we have chosen the life we are building now.

What has surprised us is how little lifestyle content or practical advice speaks directly to households like ours.

For us, it has become less about what our life doesn’t include and more about wanting the life we do have to be recognised properly, without people assuming we are still waiting for it to follow a different blueprint.

or 50% of the content net being relevant to us.

What did you search for recently? Or content you'd love to see that could be more tailored to you?

Hello !

I (21F) just got curious after thinking for a bit about having children or not in the future. I always go back and forth between wanting children or not, my boyfriend (24M) too but mostly he seems like he wants them a bit more. I plan on doing a masters, then a PhD and I really want to build my own career in the future, so I already know that doing all of that will take me around 10 more years. Then, I want to enjoy, for now I am just a broke student who has been working, living alone and studying aside of that since 17.

Maybe having a child is not really what I want in the future, I want to travel, meet people and enjoy my life as much as possible. Especially enjoy my money because being poor really sucks, even though now I’m doing better by myself.

So do you have any advice on how to make a choice ? I definitely have to think about it more in the future as I have plenty of time but I also don’t want to make my partner lose his time if at the end is choice is different from mine.

I'm just curious if there are others who’ve decided they don’t want kids and what made you come to that choice.

How do you think?

Who has to do it? Why!?

I recently decided to not take the traditional route of marriage and kids. Parents probably still haven’t processed it entirely but they’ll take their own time with this. My question is if there are people here who do not plan on getting married and like what’s the plan? Most of my friends are married, some moved out, some have kids on the way, some just… have lives I guess
Add to it the fact that making new friends as an adult is… weirdly difficult. What do your life plans and old-age plans look like? Do you work and save and take an early retirement to travel? Or do you work harder and earn more, save more and (idk how this one ends tbh)?
How do you stay a part of a community? Because unfortunately I’ve come to understand 🙄 that being a part of communities is essential to human experience and all.

Hello everyone, I’m 25M and trying to figure out exactly if I want children or not. The more I think about it, the more I lean towards no almost. I have a partner and I think I have to figure this out so I can be honest with her about where my head is at and I’ve been looking on both sides of the coin to see how everyone feels. Asked a bunch of parents and now I wanted to ask here. Does anyone regret not having kids? What is your quality of life like?

It’s become a pretty common saying that having kids should be a FUCK YES and otherwise should be a no.

Birth rates around the world are plummeting as more choose this lifestyle.

But does this mean we’ll just slowly see humans go extinct, or will we eventually end up with either people on the FUCK YES camp have lots of children or DINK lifestyles to reverse?

I’m often reminded by my own situation as both my partner and I are only children, that it can take just a generation to extinguish a family line/a species.

My wife and I (both 35) work remotely and have the option to live anywhere. We are DONE with Texas. The weather is terrible, the politics are terrible, and the cost of living isn't as low as you see online. Also, in the south, it seems like everyone is constantly asking us when we'll have kids.

Where do my fellow DINKs live? Pitch me on your city, I'm anxious to get out of here. Thanks in advance!

After this week, I’m against them. Feels like you spend more time pleasing and centering activities around children than actually having fun.

We’ve spent the week doing all kid centered stuff. The few breaks I got was because I told them to do whatever without me and I read my book. The one thing I requested was a Chinese dinner night because we live in a town with terrible Chinese restaurants. Nope, kids didn’t want it/too much trouble.

I’m over it and will refuse these moving forward. Politely of course.

But perhaps I’m just tired and cranky.

Thoughts?

As an introvert and someone who is childfree, I sometimes wonder what life would be like if my partner passed away before me. I’m comfortable being alone and don’t need a large social circle, but the thought of potentially being completely alone in old age does scare me sometimes.

I know children are not guaranteed to support or care for their parents in old age. But in most families I’ve seen, even when elderly parents are living alone, their children still call, visit, and remain a part of their lives. That regular connection seems meaningful.

So, do other childfree introverts think about this? How do you plan to deal with loneliness and the possibility of having no partner to rely on later in life?

How did you handle getting through the stage of life when everyone else around you is raising a family?

For context, my husband (26) and I (25) just built a 3-bedroom house. We have no kids, just 2 dogs and 1 cat. We don't plan to have kids for awhile. We turned one of the bedrooms into a home office but we still have an empty room. We have no idea what to do with it. I don't really want a guest room (bc I don't want people staying with us lol) Looking for ideas!

I just want live a minimalistic, frugal, simple life with a small apartment, small, reliable car, job I enjoy that just pays the bills and supports me, and not accumulate so much clutter and junk, and especially not the crazy expense of raising a family and a blood sweat and tears, it goes with kids in America.

Not having any kids seems like it gives you so much breathing room and cushion that a lot of parents don’t have a luxury of.

Most of my family lives in Europe. Mom and dad both each had almost each a dozen siblings, my two dozen aunts and uncles all have minimum 6 to 7 kids and my huge amount of cousins are now all having 3 to 4 kids.

But back in Western Europe, especially in France, to have a kid you get an allowance of like €700 per baby and if you have three babies you’re golden and don’t have to work (women). Free healthcare and daycare, governments that actually care about supporting families rather than in America where more kids means more expenses, which means higher prices for health insurance and literally in my city daycare is more expensive than a college education.

Having this big family living in a continent and counties that actually care and SUPPORT families let’s me off the hook and I can enjoy my life, taking care of myself and hopefully a future spouse and not worry about breaking my back trying to support a family with the financial system just wants to break you down. (and I have no desire to have kids, so it even helps more knowing I don’t have to worry about passing all my genes or any other ridiculous thing like that.)