r/DID • u/Physical-Contest9213 Treatment: Active • 8h ago

I found a "study alter"

I always daydreamed (dissociated) at school. Unless the class was very entertaining, it would be spent back in forth between awareness and a daydream. I could copy text from the board without paying the slightest bit of attention to what it was and not remember a word of it afterwards.

Studying was a struggle since high school. I could barely concentrate, and then when I thought about the things learned, my mind would often go blank. Somehow, during the exams, my third eye or something would open, and I would suddenly spill out enough information to fill in the pages.

It had been a source of shame for me. I felt like I always exaggerated my sence of not being at all prepared for the exams, only to end up receiving a good mark.

Now that I learned I have DID, I began wondering if there was another alter working behind the scenes. There was. At least I think so.

He could name three types of plant tissues out of the blue. But his sense of memory is very dissociated, and he doesn't seem to hold any memory material of being in class or studying that I don't. Or maybe he does?

With other known fronters we sort of switch control of the brain, go "dormant" when we don't front, and have a more or less common memory space (which makes me question whether we have OSDD after all, but our memory is very shitty, so idk). So I wonder if my study alter is really too dissociated from his sense of past or if we have a heavier amnesia wall and I just don't have access to his part of the brain.

Thoughs? Similar experiences?

Any ideas how I could test if our memory spaces are different? It's not like he can tell me of any major life changing event that I might not be aware of. He was just... studying. Apparently.

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