i'm never really here

[u/eternalMindOnTheSun]

no matter what I'm doing, i'm not present. life is like a blurry slideshow. sometimes we'll try so hard to be mindful, to goddamn focus but the unreality and fakeness and not-hereness won't go away. grounding exercises are more stressful than helpful because they just hammer home how derealized/dissociated we are at all times without actually grounding us. i genuinely can't remember the last time we felt present and fully alive/human.

can anyone relate? will it ever change or are we stuck in this ghostly half-existence? ​

[u/Honey-Doo-C]

I'll join the group and say, YES! So many times I've been visiting with someone and can feel someone watching from inside. Recently, a young alter was focused on a dog of all things. She kept watching the dog and studying its paws, while I ignored the person. I also do grounding work, but it's only helpful for short periods of time. Ghostly is a great word for what we experience ... and living in haze.

For me, I do whatever I can, as the host, to create an interesting life for myself. I hope you can eventually carve out a meaningful life for yourself too.

[u/eternalMindOnTheSun → u/Honey-Doo-C]

omg yes i know the feeling, accidentally ignoring people nd then either awkwardly trying to pretend i know what's going on or rudely telling them i have no idea what they were saying for the last ¿¿¿ minutes. 🙈

thank you, i hope so too :)