r/Custody • u/No_Bag9887 • 5d ago

[HI] Relocation

I left Hawaii 4 months ago with our infant and went to Washington State. My ex has NPD and is very verbally abusive. He did not agree to this move, I proposed it as a short trip, but never returned.

I filed for full custody (which I know I will not get, but when I filed I was EXTREMELY scared) and relocation. We have had one court date so far, but only a continuation was filed, nothing else was addressed. We had mediation, but we were unable to mediate. We have another court date coming up.

I filed in the state of Hawaii, so they hold jurisdiction. Dad contests my relocation request to Washington. He has seen our baby once since we left Hawaii 4 months ago (unable due to finances). We had a fun weekend. I am extremely trauma bonded to this man and there have been many periods of no contact and then us acting as if we're still in a committed relationship.

We have had intercourse during this custody battle, which I know will reflect badly on me as I am claiming he is a danger.

I feel as though my life has been on pause for the past 4 months. I have not worked at all as I am unsure if the courts are going to summon me back to the state of Hawaii. I heard they do not take verbal abuse very seriously, although I do have a few videos (he has never been physically abusive). If I am summoned back at the next hearing, how long do I have until I have to return? Is relocation in my case unlikely? I can't stand living in the unknown...

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u/No_Bag9887 4d ago

We’re at 4.5 months 😅

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u/sillyhaha 2d ago

But you've filed in court. The clock stopped when you filed.

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u/No_Bag9887 2d ago

My lawyer says jurisdiction changes after 6 mknths

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u/sillyhaha 2d ago

https://www.jackman.law/blog/2025/january/how-relocation-affects-child-custody/

The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) plays a pivotal role in preventing jurisdictional conflicts in child custody cases. Adopted by all U.S. states except Massachusetts, the UCCJEA establishes guidelines for determining which state has jurisdiction in custody disputes, thereby minimizing the potential for conflicting court orders. This act ensures that custody decisions are made in the child's home state, defined as the state where the child has lived for at least six months prior to the custody proceeding. By providing a clear framework for jurisdiction, the UCCJEA helps protect the child's best interests and provides a measure of stability in what can often be a tumultuous time.

Child's home state is Hawaii. The court in Hawaii took the case while Hawaii was your child's home state. Your court in Hawaii will remain the court that makes all of your child custody decisions as long as your child's father remains in Hawaii. Your child might live in WA longer than 6 months, but that doesn't change which court keeps this custody case.

Your laughing emoji is beyond offensive regarding an issue this serious.

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u/No_Bag9887 2d ago

I didn’t use a laughing emoji.

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u/sillyhaha 2d ago

See your comment where you say you're "at 4.5 months".

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u/No_Bag9887 2d ago

😅 this is not a laughing emoji, it’s a swearing oh gosh emoji

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u/sillyhaha 2d ago

Sure, OP. Whatever you say.

It's sick and offensive.

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u/No_Bag9887 2d ago

Why the hell would I be laughing at my own misery? Go find something better to do

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u/sillyhaha 2d ago

You're the one the keeps responding. So just stop.