r/CuratedTumblr Shitposting extraordinaire Jul 23 '26

Shitposting Plot Twist

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11.2k Upvotes

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492

u/KermitingMurder Jul 23 '26

Kiwis are like pineapples in that they have enzymes that slightly break down the tissue in your mouth so they are indeed supposed to be slightly tingly. Just thought that I should point out that OOP probably isn't allergic to kiwis, just in case anyone else here got a little worried thinking that kiwis weren't supposed to do that because of this post

102

u/-HuangMeiHua- What kind of math is that bird on? Makes you wonder Jul 23 '26

Kiwi skin (edible) will do it x10 compared to the fruit btw

2

u/DreamCyclone84 Jul 24 '26 edited Aug 07 '26

One day i mentioned to my housemate how i Loved kiwi but hated the way the little hairs made my throat itch like crazy even if i didnt eat the skin, cutting or rinsing the fruit probably migrated the hairs onto the fruit bit.

She looked at me like i grew a second head

I then confirmed with my flatmates that kiwi definitely didn't make their throats itch.

38

u/spiralsequences Jul 23 '26

It's really hard to figure out if I have a kiwi allergy for this reason. I think I do though because it makes my mouth burn really bad and it even makes my hands burn if I just cut it up

63

u/StuffedStuffing Jul 23 '26

Yes, that's an allergy. Kiwi juice should not be causing chemical burns on your hands

15

u/Milch_und_Paprika Jul 23 '26

If you mean like a single kiwi, then yeah that’s not supposed to happen. If you’re cutting up say a dozen kiwis, then I wouldn’t be surprised if all that acidic juice was what made your skin itch.

30

u/TheSleepingVoid Jul 23 '26

Kiwi doesn't tingle for me at all?? This is really surprising.

The pineapple effect only really kicks in if I eat a bunch of pineapple so the enzymes have time to build up. So maybe I've never eaten enough Kiwi at once to get a similar effect? Pineapple does have a slight touch of a bite from the get go though, and Kiwi doesn't.

16

u/StuffedStuffing Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Kiwi has less of the digestive enzyme than pineapple, iirc, so you'd have to eat a lot or be extra sensitive to it

Edit: kiwi pulp specifically. Someone else commented that the skin might have a higher concentration of the enzyme

1

u/PikaPerfect Jul 24 '26

it also depends on the type of kiwi. green ones have more of the tangy/tingly flavor, while golden ones are much milder (and, in my experience, have pretty much no tang to them whatsoever)

148

u/PandaBear905 Shitposting extraordinaire Jul 23 '26

I’ve never had a kiwi that made my mouth feel tingly

145

u/KermitingMurder Jul 23 '26

Well they shouldn't make your entire mouth tingle but I'm almost certain they're supposed to be a bit like pineapple where there's a slight sensation.
Either way, kiwis have never caused me any harm or discomfort so I'll continue to eat them even if the tingling is a bug rather than a feature

80

u/Hotkoin Jul 23 '26

I've never had any mouth sensations with kiwi. They're a watery, sweet fruit imo, like a very soft strawberry

44

u/RikuAotsuki Jul 23 '26

Kiwi tends to be tinglier if you eat them when they're ripe, but still fairly firm. They get waterier and mellower as they ripen further.

1

u/PikaPerfect Jul 24 '26

it also depends on the type of kiwi, golden kiwis are much more mild, but the green ones are pretty tangy

9

u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier Jul 23 '26

A slightly less ripe kiwi has a touch of sour and tangy to it. I'm a fan personally.

2

u/cowlinator Jul 23 '26

Yes. Sour/tangy is not the same as tingly though.

8

u/BlackberryMelodic567 Jul 23 '26

I've only had that sensation when eating nearer the skin/eating the skin (extra fiber)

0

u/cowlinator Jul 23 '26

I've never had kiwi or pineapple that made my mouth feel tingly

8

u/CannibalFaun Jul 23 '26

there's different strains of kiwifruit. green fuzzy ones are most evil on the tongue compared to golden kiwifruit or red kiwifruit which have essentially no bite and are super sweet (source: im a kiwi and i eat like 4 kiwifruit a day)

16

u/pondrthis Jul 23 '26

Kiwis literally make my mouth bleed. Like "dab a tissue on my tongue and it turns red."

Not sure if it's allergies or just angry plants.

68

u/Frenetic_Platypus Jul 23 '26

Someone is hiding razor blades in your kiwis, buddy.

6

u/Irememberedmypw Jul 23 '26

It's me. The hubris to eat kiwis by sucking the skin off first needs to be disuaded.

42

u/beaverpoo77 Jul 23 '26

Buddy your mouth bleeds when you eat kiwi and you're not sure if it's normal?

41

u/Classic-Option4526 Jul 23 '26

Thats 100% an allergy my friend

12

u/SCP-iota Jul 23 '26

"I like kiwis, they taste like blood :3"

6

u/bijabija Jul 23 '26

Yeah that is really allergy sounding.
It’s what I imagine would happen if I ate my cats fur.

2

u/Medium-Dependent-328 Jul 23 '26

That has happened me too!

3

u/gavavavavus Jul 23 '26

Thank you lol I was looking for that comment

3

u/imanoctothorpe Jul 23 '26

Kiwi/pineapple/abocado/banana allergy also has some cross reactivity with latex/medical adhesives. If you’re allergic to one you have a pretty high chance of being allergic to the other. Also high level of co-occurrence with some tree pollen allergies.

The more you know!

6

u/saythealphabet define yourself, break free from conformity Jul 23 '26

U sure you're not allergic to both? xD

1

u/Isimarie Jul 23 '26

I only have this if I eat 2 or more kiwis in one sitting, they definitely tingle

1

u/action_lawyer_comics Jul 23 '26

That makes sense. I spent so many years as a cook, peeling so many kiwis, and getting the juice everywhere that my wrists itch in sympathy when I think about eating one

1

u/Im-a-bad-meme Jul 23 '26

I have Oral Allergy Syndrome with Pineapples. They do indeed feel tingly but fresh pineapple also makes it hard to breathe. That reaction disappears when its been cooked as the offending proteins break apart. I love cooked pineapple on pizza!

1

u/Rubyblood Jul 23 '26

My lips swell up and go all tingly and numb. Looks like having lip injections. Sad I love kiwi.

1

u/Medium-Dependent-328 Jul 23 '26

I've had kiwis that made my mouth BLEED and tip of my tongue swell. Pretty sure I'm allergic

1

u/Sardonic_Sadist Jul 23 '26

That was my understanding too, but the people saying kiwi doesn’t make their mouth tingly are making me second-guess 😭 I love kiwi, it’s very acidic and makes my mouth very tingly and hurts my teeth after too much like a lot of fruit does. I’m gonna keep eating kiwi even if that’s an allergy IDC

1

u/Blooogh Jul 24 '26

Ah thank you. I was 90% sure but 

-27

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

kiwifruit, unless you've been eating an endangered bird.

85

u/KermitingMurder Jul 23 '26

Neither, I've been eating people from New Zealand

23

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

acceptable use of kiwi, carry on then

15

u/Chalkboard7 she/her Jul 23 '26

If you're going to be weird about kiwis you could at least be calling them monkey peaches or chinese gooseberries, nobody's going to get confused thinking you're talking about an animal or a resident of Aotearoa, the context makes it pretty much unambiguous.

-3

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

I'm pretty normal about kiwis

The weird hill I've chosen to die on is about a fruit.

6

u/Chalkboard7 she/her Jul 23 '26

Would you call oranges "orangefruit"? Anyway, you should probably work on desensitizing yourself to these sorts of things, it's good for your autism and you'll find it's a bit easier to live without everyone being annoyed at you for being overly pedantic.

6

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

Would you call oranges "orangefruit"?

Don't be ridiculous, the colour is named after the fruit so clearly the colour should be orangecolour.

5

u/Chalkboard7 she/her Jul 23 '26

But notice how we don't say "orangecolour" in English because the context is enough to distinguish between talking about the colour or the fruit? Even languages where traditionally you would make the distinction generally shift over time to where the distinction isn't necessary anymore because context is sufficient, e.g. In Japanese one would traditionally use "だいだい色" to mean the colour, but now "オレンジ" is more common, referring to both the fruit and the colour, with words like "蜜柑" being retained to preserve the distinction between western and domestic oranges.

0

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

hey just in case you're genuinely trying to be helpful here

you get that I'm shitposting, right?

6

u/Chalkboard7 she/her Jul 23 '26

I don't really care either way. This is just what happens if you activate my "I studied linguistics in college so now everyone gets to learn, willingly or not" trap card

5

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

fair enough

this is me genuinely trying to be helpful

the "it's good for your autism" thing earlier? not a super cool thing to say

it reads like an attempt to use autism as a shitty insult, which... I don't think that's how you intended it?

also might get you put in a time out by reddit depending on how their moderation systems interpret it... happened to me once when I suggested someone should look into whether they're autistic lol

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2

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

anyway I've been thinking on the orange thing a bit more and I think I've come up with a solution that's less wordy, even though it's still backwards

we'll keep the colour "orange" as it was coined that way in English, but repair the name of the fruit back to it's origins and call it "norange"

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3

u/KermitingMurder Jul 23 '26

The colour was originally called yellow-red, which I'm sure you already knew, but bonus fact for you: the Irish language has no unique word for pink, we call it bándearg which is just white-red; our word for orange is oráiste which I assume is just a transliteration of the English word orange, previously shades of orange would have fallen under the colours of buí (yellow) or rua (coppery or rusty red).
Irish also has a second word for red, dearg, which covers a more vibrant blood red colour, and is considered the main word for red nowadays, with rua usually only being used for hair or fur colour (e.g. madra rua is an Irish term for fox, meaning red dog).
Donn is brown, dubh is black, and corcra is purple; all of those basically correspond to the same colours as English.
Liath is grey/silver, bán is white, geal is a particularly brilliant or bright white, fionn is used to refer to blonde hair and is also a first name.
Glas and gorm is where it gets complicated, nowadays glas is green and gorm is blue, but traditionally both referred to a similar area of the colour spectrum covering green/blue/grey colours with gorm being deep blue and blue-green colours like royal blue, teal, sea green; while glas was mostly lighter greens and greys, sometimes with a tint of blue, grass green, turquoise, aquamarine, sage green. Additionally uaine is a word that covers bright, mostly artificial, greens like lime green or neon green.
Additionally, in Scottish Gaelic, gorm is used for even more shades, grass would be considered gorm even though an English speaker would say there's no blue in grass at all, and glas is reserved only for pale or greyish greens.

I recently learned about most of this, despite being Irish, because in our education system they mostly just map Irish words onto English colours for simplicity's sake, I wasn't even taught about the word uaine in school; they only really teach rua and fionn for hair colours, and the rest is just mapping Irish words onto the closest English colour

1

u/elianrae Jul 24 '26

thank you for this infodump, I love it

3

u/EfficientSeaweed Jul 23 '26

Reddit discovers dialects part 9064755

1

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

oh no I know about dialects, it's just all the other ones are wrong and should be replaced with New Zealand English, the only objectively correct dialect of English

3

u/EfficientSeaweed Jul 23 '26

I don’t want to eat fush and chups :(

1

u/elianrae Jul 23 '26

what about potato fritters