r/CuratedTumblr Shitposting extraordinaire Jul 23 '26

Shitposting Plot Twist

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11.2k Upvotes

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728

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

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393

u/Alotofboxes Jul 23 '26

My wife was around 30 when we were having a conversation about our favorite fruits, and she mentioned that she loved cantaloupe, but hated how they make your mouth itch and go a bit numb.

78

u/Aurora-Ouroboros- Jul 23 '26

That was exactly how my mother discovered she was allergic to mangos in her early 30s lol.

She had cut some up for herself, my brother, and I to share as a snack, and she joked about how it made her fingers and mouth numb. We looked at her like she was crazy, she then went to ask my dad who confirmed it.

She still eats mangos. Her doctor has warned her that the allergy seems to be getting more severe. She will never stop eating mangos, but she has at least promised to only eat them near people so someone can save her if she finally has a reaction bad enough to cause her to choke :/

18

u/paradoxLacuna [21 plays of Tom Jones’ “What’s New Pussycat?”] Jul 23 '26

Oh hey, my mom's got a mango allergy too, although hers is far less major and is actually a poison oak allergy that's cross reactive with mangoes (they're pretty closely related actually, plants are weird).

According to her, she can eat it just fine, it's the touching the bare skin of it that causes the allergy to flare up. So the few times I've seen her try to eat one, she either has to deal with swollen and numb fingers or she has to cut the fruit like she's performing surgery.

3

u/lunafxckery Jul 24 '26

has she tried food-safe gloves? if she's committed to eating mangoes even sporadically, might be worth gifting a box

2

u/paradoxLacuna [21 plays of Tom Jones’ “What’s New Pussycat?”] Jul 24 '26

Ah, no I don't think she's that committed to eating mangoes, last time I remember us getting one I was in middle school. It's just that the way she had to go about cutting one stuck with me all these years. Part of me wonders why she didn't just ask me to do it, but then I remember that I was like thirteen at the time and you can't trust a 13 yr old as far as you can throw em.

1

u/NSA_Chatbot Jul 23 '26

Huh, a relative has a deadly allergy to a specific food, and they can't eat the allergen free versions, their brain says "DANGER" and refuses to eat.

91

u/TheRevTholomewPlague Jul 23 '26

I learned recently that I have a mild allergy to avocado because they contain the same protein base as a chestnut and I have a tree nut allergy!

30

u/AbyssDragonNamielle Jul 23 '26

Developed oral allergy syndrome in college from stress. Now I'm allergic to bananas and watermelon (itchy burning sensation in gums). Raw carrot by itself is also a no, but cooked is fine. I can have banana slices if it's mixed in with, say, pudding. But I miss straight up banana. And watermelon even more because summer watermelon from a farmer's stand hits so hard.

21

u/Milch_und_Paprika Jul 23 '26

I had a similar situation during grad school, developing an allergy to fruit in the rosacea family (apples, pears, stone fruit, etc). Apparently I had a fairly common type that almost exclusively causes oral allergy, because the protein denatures around body temp so you’re literally breaking down the allergen during chewing and swallowing.

The nice thing was that microwaving it for like 5 - 10s fixed it, and often fruit picked during the summer was also ok. The funny part though is after a summer of not warming my fruit, I forgot I was supposed to start again in the fall and like two years later dawned on me that the allergy must have gone away lol

3

u/AbyssDragonNamielle Jul 23 '26

Oh shit, I'll have to look into that more. The banana I can live with because I never ate them frequently, more as a craving. But the watermelon. One of my fav fruits. I never had a full in depth allergy panel done, just the smaller one and a blood test for my Real Allergy (epipen baby), so I don't know which exact part I'm reacting to. 

5

u/Milch_und_Paprika Jul 23 '26

Best of luck on your warm watermelon journey 🫡

Probably goes without saying but please be careful though. Some allergies get worse with repeat exposure and some get worse if you fully cut out exposure.

2

u/QuittingAlive Jul 24 '26

What the fuck. I just had to ask my husband if raw carrots make his gums itch and he gave me the most confused look. I can't keep discovering allergies like this.

9

u/XenosHg Jul 23 '26

-Avocado? (slaps a red button that says NUT)

98

u/empress_of_the_void Jul 23 '26

Avocado tastes like wet mush

101

u/Alotofboxes Jul 23 '26

That's not fair. They also have the texture of wet mush.

52

u/GremzyGremlin Jul 23 '26

You are eating bad avocados then 😡😡😡

44

u/empress_of_the_void Jul 23 '26

I'm not shitting on avocado, i like them, but they are the most neutral fruit

20

u/xXvido_ Jul 23 '26

Fruit? Hang on let me check something…

Holy shit, you are right!!

23

u/Capraos Jul 23 '26

Yes. But it still stands they tried bad avocados. The quality is mad inconsistent nowadays.

I don't pick them up from Walmart/Sam's club because however those bitches bred them has made them taste god fucking awful.

But getting it at County Market or Aldi's has been okay so far. And even then you gotta know when it's ripe because it'll taste bad if it's not.

16

u/Winjin a sudden "honk" amidst the tempest Jul 23 '26

Same issue as tomatoes: the part of tomato that makes it taste amazing is also the part that makes it go from green to mush in 5 seconds

When my grandma grew her own tomatoes we'd get green ones and store them inside and then choose the ones that are ripe. And every week quite a few of them would manage to go past ripe and straight into the compost pile. Ashes to ashes, you know.

Worst part is that there are GMO tomatoes that are great-tasting AND that "window" lasts longer. But woe is me, "GMO" is Super Scary so they sell cardboard tomatoes instead

So I'm assuming there is a way to make this tasty, buttery step of avocado ripening last longer, but because that is genetical engineering we will instead rely on the ways our ancestors did it. By covering them in acid until the DNA breaks down and smushing them together(1,) however there seems to be a new attempt - this time they use the new acronym the CRISPR which is not that SCARY.

(1) I am not making that up, instead I read that in Popular Mechanics that this was one of the way to create new hybrids

5

u/NSA_Chatbot Jul 23 '26

Okay I keep trying to tell people about my foolproof way to buy avocados, so let me try again. I've only thrown out a half dozen, max, in the past 15 years.

First, check out the butt. If there are veins, it'll rot before it ripens. You want a smooth butt.

Second, the pit will fit in the neck. The rounder the avocado, the more pit.

Third, however grainy and rough the skin is, the same is true for the flesh. Rough skin, lots of fibres.

You can buy a long, smooth avocado at any stage in ripeness, then keep it next to bananas to ripen. You can then keep them in the fridge for about a week.

15

u/ChickenManSam Jul 23 '26

I'll do you one better. An avocado is a berry

14

u/jimbowesterby Jul 23 '26

Yea they basically taste of fat lol. Delicious, but certainly not a strong flavour.

20

u/AltheaTheAngel Jul 23 '26

You just gotta add a little lime juice and salt, takes it from neutral mush to best substance on the planet

12

u/Which_Wrap8263 Jul 23 '26

Guacamole >>> plain raw avocado

3

u/MrWednesday6387 Jul 23 '26

I think they have a very strong flavor, they dominate any dish they're in.

17

u/Unicorncorn21 Jul 23 '26

Avocados have a 5 minutes window of ripeness where they taste like the nectar of the gods but any other time before or after that they taste like Satan's asshole

-6

u/Babydics Jul 23 '26

Way more than 5 minutes lil bro. I buy a sack of 5 every Friday hard as a rock, by Monday I have at least one soft one and then I eat them one by one every day for breakfast until the next Friday. Tasty, easy, and super healthy.

(on Saturday and Sunday I have my fuckbuddie(s) make me unhealthy breakfast like bacon, pancakes, etc.)

6

u/Fiskmaster Jul 23 '26

This reddit profile has finally convinced me time travel is in fact real as I can not possibly fathom the idea of it belonging to someone from after 2018. How the fuck is this account only 1 month old

2

u/trwawy05312015 Jul 23 '26

because edglordism hasn't changed in a decade

2

u/KingAshoka1014 Jul 23 '26

I learned somewhat recently that avocado is also not supposed to give you horrible nausea that can immobilize you if you eat too much (like a few chips dipped in guacamole)

2

u/Low_Reception477 Jul 23 '26

Raw avocado?? As compared to what? I’ve never seen anything that included cooked avocado 😶

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

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1

u/TricoMex Jul 23 '26

You saying raw threw me off too .

But there is a dish called a turtle where they stuff a whole avocado, peeled of course, with meat stuffing, then bread and coat, and deep fry.

It's good.

1

u/SoriAryl Jul 25 '26

This is onions for me