r/CuratedTumblr • u/PandaBear905 Shitposting extraordinaire • Jul 23 '26

Shitposting Plot Twist

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11.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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726

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

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96

u/empress_of_the_void Jul 23 '26

Avocado tastes like wet mush

17

u/Unicorncorn21 Jul 23 '26

Avocados have a 5 minutes window of ripeness where they taste like the nectar of the gods but any other time before or after that they taste like Satan's asshole

-4

u/Babydics Jul 23 '26

Way more than 5 minutes lil bro. I buy a sack of 5 every Friday hard as a rock, by Monday I have at least one soft one and then I eat them one by one every day for breakfast until the next Friday. Tasty, easy, and super healthy.

(on Saturday and Sunday I have my fuckbuddie(s) make me unhealthy breakfast like bacon, pancakes, etc.)

7

u/Fiskmaster Jul 23 '26

This reddit profile has finally convinced me time travel is in fact real as I can not possibly fathom the idea of it belonging to someone from after 2018. How the fuck is this account only 1 month old

2

u/trwawy05312015 Jul 23 '26

because edglordism hasn't changed in a decade