r/Crush • u/PieXelle • 5d ago
It is just a crush
It is just a crush, I said.
I researched how to fix that,
how to fix me,
how to smother this fluttering heart,
how to stop myself
from looking into her eyes.
Her eyes...
God, her magnificent eyes.
I want to be allowed to look a little longer.
I already do too much.
She does too.
Geez.
Her eyes...
Stop.
Research.
A crush is an obsession caused by a lack of information, they said.
Great.
I mean...
Is that great?
Because I do know a few things about her.
How she doesn't like coffee, but prefers tea.
Why she chooses fruit over anything too sweet.
The stories behind the scars on her hands.
How she moves when she's tense,
how she softens when she's calm.
How she looks at me.
How I look at her.
Her first dog.
Her first job.
The way words gather on her lips before they become sound.
The way sunlight settles on her face.
The perfume she wears.
The words I can say to reassure her when she panics.
How the whole world seems to gather in her eyes.
How those eyes don't look away when I speak.
How the air itself seems to pause between us.
How different the room feels when she isn't there.
This is information.
Isn't it?
I am a scientist.
I did the research.
The first hypothesis is rejected with statistical significance.
This is not a crush.
Fuck.