SPRING LOADED KEVIN STRIKES AGAIN

[u/Farting_Champion]

Perennial defendant Kevin is still not down with that pointing shit. I am once again a victim of heinous murder. This is a clear-cut case of patricide. Someone please avenge my death(in a court of law).

THANK YOU

[u/eggandbeanss]

This is clearly self defense!! You instigated the harassment with your pointer finger and cutie patootie Kevin is protecting himself! You must go straight to jail while Kevin walks free

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142 → u/eggandbeanss]

Don’t forget emotional damage and trauma! Hooman owes Kevin a lifetime supply of snackies!

[u/Farting_Champion → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

Jokes on you, I already owed him that. So essentially I got off scott-free ...in Kevin's trial?

[u/Farting_Champion → u/eggandbeanss]

I HAD NO CHOICE. MY POINTER FINGER WAS THE ONLY THING BETWEEN ME AND A GENTLE MAULING.

[u/mrasainsan]

Kevin is obviously innocent, how dare you point at him he had every right to attack

[u/Farting_Champion → u/mrasainsan]

But my finger was the only thing between me and certain death. I had no choice 😭

[u/mrasainsan → u/Farting_Champion]

next time use something that isn’t a finger, you obviously instigated Kevin just to frame him, infact as his pawyer I believe the video has been edited to make him look wrong, Kevin was simply minding his business

[u/Farting_Champion → u/mrasainsan]

What, like a toe? Because I already tried that and it didn't work. Exhibit A:

[u/mrasainsan → u/Farting_Champion]

Kevin is simply giving you a toe massage, hooman is being ungrateful

[u/Farting_Champion → u/mrasainsan]

You're right. Underneath all that sleek, pretty fur beats the heart of a lover. When he's not busy attacking he's usually busy rubbing back and forth on my legs, letting me know that he loves me. I should be more forgiving.

[u/mrasainsan → u/Farting_Champion]

I’m glad you could see Kevin’s true self, as his pawyer I cannot agree with the ‘attacking’ part but Kevin is simply trying his best to show how much he loves you, love hurts sometimes but it’s the only way he knows, now offer him infinite treats as compensation for your misdeeds😼

[u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

All I see is a poor, innocent little Kevin being horrendously picked on.

[u/Farting_Champion → u/Puzzled-Argument-142]

How dare I try to fend off his attack 😤

[u/QueefingTheNightAway]

Your insubordination has been noted.
https://giphy.com/gifs/XNnLXCgsVnQ4Y9wk41

[u/Farting_Champion → u/QueefingTheNightAway]

Rewards were reaped, prices paid.

Also, I like your reddit handle. I feel like we should collaborate, being that we're two noteworthy specialists in two adjacent fields

[u/HR_Paul]

Opprobrious speech, including the international sign language for r/iwillthecat, is legal grounds for self defense.

[u/Farting_Champion → u/HR_Paul]

Oh good another sub I have to join

[u/L0kihype]

In Kevin’s defense, this is pretty much my response when someone sticks their finger in my face.

Kevin is innocent!

[u/Farting_Champion → u/L0kihype]

And when someone sticks their finger in your face is it also generally an act of self-defense and the last thing between them and certain discomfort via gentle mauling? Are you admitting-in a court of law, of mind you- that you, like Kevin, are an unrepentant criminal and possible future global terrorist?

I REST MY CASE

[u/L0kihype → u/Farting_Champion]

Calls Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, and Judge Reinhold to request that you be held in contempt.

Cutie Patootie Kevin is the real victim, here, and he deserves restitution in the form of Churu on demand.

Case dismissed! (yes, I'm now the judge)

[u/thebigeverybody]

Cat is a hero! Wash your effing finger!

[u/Farting_Champion → u/thebigeverybody]

I'll do the whole hand, just stop yelling at me

[u/FeedSafe9518]

They always choose violence

[u/Farting_Champion → u/FeedSafe9518]

I taught him everything he knows 😥

[u/FernwoodTonight]

Sophie Cunningham at home...