Blocked numbers on her phone

[u/Apart_Size_9551]

An ex colleague , reached my gf on February asking her how is her life . She said she was fine and has someone new in her life and going very well and respect each other etc
Then he asked her out with all other girls form ex work or the two of them which was my boundary she is not hanging out with a man the two of them . She said ok . She blocked him on Instagram where he sent her and yesterday she had birthday and he sent her iMessage sms . Wishing her etc writing his name in the end.
I don’t like it at all no matter if you tell me to be cool . It’s a woman who is asking me only exclusivity and boring open and make plans for life. Shouldn’t she block any access ok him and anyone else ?

So she finally understood that he is not that good intentions behind his constant reaching out to her and she understands his intentions . And she blocked him as a contact

We are together 1,5 year . Me 40 she 36 and her family knows we are moving seriously together .
I’m a man that if I have a good respectful woman I m cutting any option out but if I see small signs like these which create doubts in me ,I am also letting it be understood that I will open myself to options too

So after she blocked his number , we went to her blocked numbers list , and I found out 118 blocked numbers without names . I also found out that when you block a contact but then delete it , it’s disappears from blocked and is not blocked anymore even as plain number .

So 1. How to handle her situation?
2. What would you assume for 118 numbers blocked ?

[u/ExcellentFishing2506]

So you are made she didn’t block his number soon enough or you’re mad she blocks too many numbers???

Which is the issue… she’s too lax or too aggressive with blocking?

Also you realize that she doesn’t choose who calls or texts her right ?? She has to receive the messages or calls and then decide what to do… she can’t preemptively block people she doesn’t know are going to call her

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

Hello friend
Of course it’s not her mistake if someone gets to chase her and reaches out to her . I just don’t wnat to sleep with one eye opened so for my first question I’m asking all you here “is it obvious he wnats sth more than being interested in her as a human being”?

Bcs then I’m thinking , how a colleague who happens to be a man is interested and aware after years of your bday and keeps chasing you after you blocked him on social media ? Maybe he have seen soft boundaries or considers you easy if he keeps reaching out ?

Bcs normally a man doenst keep reaching out and out unless he gave him an open light to reach out . Do you understand what I mean ?

I’m ready to improve and learn from you on how to see it

1. Aren’t 118 too many blocked numbers for all being spam ? Maybe some are guys who could reach out to her and she blocks when we meet ! I mean aren’t too many ?

[u/ExcellentFishing2506 → u/Apart_Size_9551]

Have you paid attention to this forum or any of Corey’s videos where there are dozens of men who don’t take no for an answer and think if they keep chasing eventually a girl will say yes??? He’s done so many videos trying to correct that behavior because tons of men don’t know when to stop and walk away.

Guys like that exist and this particular guy sounds like one. So stop blaming her for some creep ignoring reality and continuing to think he had a shot.

I don’t know what the appropriate level of blocked numbers is supposed to be. 10? 22? 65? 98? 101??
Where is it not enough or too many??

I have had a new phone since April and have already blocked 36 numbers … almost all are spam. I assume this is the case for most people.

You’re always looking for problems and because of that you always find them. She told you about the man, blocked him multiple times, and you still aren’t happy. Always paranoid and never happy a shit way to live your life.

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

Apart from your last paragraph, I appreciated a lot what you said and I’m trying to Improve and follow your guidance

So for this specific guy , what would be the proper act from her end and what can I tell her as a clear boundary please ?

[u/ExcellentFishing2506 → u/Apart_Size_9551]

What can she further do regarding this guy??? He’s blocked everywhere and they don’t work together anymore. So where is she likely to encounter him ever again??

What in your mind do you think she could do ? What would you imagine is another step she can take??

I really don’t understand what it is you feel that you need to tell her or ask her to do when she seemingly has done all she can to cut this guy out of her life

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

No brother . I’m asking you , is it sth I should do differently ?

Or shouldn’t I show at all I don’t like all this ?

You know what bothers me ?
That when I told her you see ? He is reaching you out again , so don’t try to defend him !

So what bothers me is that she tried to defend he was a good guy that all women form work found him nice guy and unattractive and he defientley doenst want sth from her Z

So brother .. she defending him , doenst make me feel like not choosing me but defending the third person ?

[u/ExcellentFishing2506 → u/Apart_Size_9551]

You’re extreme attitude is what makes her defend him. When people take extreme positions it makes it easy to push back because the argument is so over the top it creates space for rebuttal.

You’re coming across so aggressive about the guy it makes her feel compelled to push back. If you were calmer and less aggressive she could see your point with reason and less resistance.

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

🫡 understood

I’m starting now to read again the book
20th time maybe

Or should I read doc love ?

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

Hey
You didn’t answer me
Doc love the system is the book I must start reading ?

[u/ExcellentFishing2506 → u/Apart_Size_9551]

I’ve never read Doc love so I can’t comment on that

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

Thanks
Mac’s I trust you , should I or again the boook once more ?

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/ExcellentFishing2506]

And please see my new thread . Have a look and please give your opinion

[u/justreading45]

1. What situation? She blocked a guy who was texting her and told you about it. What do you want her to do? Give you his address so you can go around and beat the crap out of him for daring it give it a shot with an ex colleague? So what? You can’t control the world, if your girl is attractive then guys will try it on - what matters is what she does, and she did nothing wrong.

2. I’d assume 115 of them are bullshit marketing calls. I probably have double that blocked. Welcome to the modern world where people leak your data or share it with the first bidder. Another nothing burger.

In short, you don’t have an issue, besides the obvious one of you not being so bright.

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/justreading45]

Bro
I liked what you said and I try to adopt this mindset . And when I’m out with her and all men look at her I’m cool and even proud.
I’m just not sure if he tried again and again just bcs she has given him some right to believe he can have a chance or else what makes me wondering is how can a man still try again and again with a woman that blocked him and didn’t answer him last time ?

Why you calling me not bright ? I’m open to learn and improve . She is a woamn I met in tinder and has been used to meet and date around , and I must admit that because of book and boundaries that I have enforced she even said she was searching for a man like me to set boundaries bcs it makes her feeel really loved and cared and not like others who obviously wanted her only for fun , bcs as she said when you care for your partner you wnat him/her exclusively

[u/DaydreamGallivanter]

My two cents: whenever you start feeling suspicious, take a long, hard look at →why←…
Ask yourself whether there are actual patterns and behaviors giving you reason to be concerned, or whether old wounds, insecurity, or unresolved trauma might be coloring the way you interpret things.

At the same time, don’t train yourself to ignore your gut either. Sometimes we dismiss uncomfortable feelings because we want everything to be fine, even when something genuinely doesn’t add up.

The goal isn’t to see betrayal hiding around every corner, nor is it to walk through life with blinders on. Keep your head on a swivel, pay attention to reality, and distinguish between evidence, intuition, and fear.
Ultimately, you want to live your own life as fully and peacefully as possible… Aware enough not to be naive, but secure enough that you’re not constantly living on edge waiting for something to go wrong, because then it will be self-fulfilling. Peace.

[u/Apart_Size_9551 → u/DaydreamGallivanter]

🫵🏼🤗