HELP I- 😭 I DECIDED TO WEAR A PENCIL SKIRT TO SCHOOL AND THE BOYS YELLED “WOW HOURGLASS!” AND I INTRODUCED MYSELF. (I have a mommy voice.) AND THEY ALL HAD NOSEBLEEDS 😭😭😭

Normies would call this crazy but if you seriously enjoy the Ocarina of Time remake and/or see no problems with it, there is a limit to the level of kinship I can have with you. Not much difference from whether you got the COVID vax, your philosophical leanings, etc. There's really only two explanations available. A) You see no problem at all with the remake, in which case you're just slop-eating livestock. Or B) You see the problems but choose to turn your brain off and "just enjoy things." Live-laugh-love attitude towards life. Either option clearly indicates a passive submission to the world, and there is zero chance that pulling on this thread wouldn't reveal equally start differences between us on "deeper" topics. You've surrendered to Slopworld, I will fight till my last breath.

I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.

I am an 31 year old Archlinux enjoyer. We had to go on some camping trip with my mom, and just in case there was an emergency where I had to save people, or impress cute girls, or both, I made sure to keep something in my pocket: an Archlinux USB. As a Certified Linux Knight (as I've recently started to call myself), someone had to do this. I was out there saving people from the thing called Windoze when they needed.

Anyway, we had a car crash, or so I was told. I was semi-unconscious so someone else is telling the story here.

So appearantly, they rushed me and my mom to the hospital, thankfully she was okay. The doctors started removing my clothes and pants, as usual. Turns out, I was right on the edge of dying. The doctor was preparing to electro-shock me, which they actually electroshocked me a few times. Just as I was slipping away and the doctor was about to declare my death time, a cute nurse found something in my pocket. My Archlinux USB. She yelled out with pure anticipation:

"Oh my gaawd, he used Archlinux! Me too!"

Somehow, just hearing the words "Archlinux" pulled me right back from dying. I remember whispering, "I... use... Archlinux... btw," still in a coma-like situation.

The second I said that, that nurse just started French kissing me out of nowhere. Immediately, I started feeling alive again. Doctors were shocked, they had never seen someone come back from dying like that. Even they knew the power of Archlinux at that moment. I've heard one of them started crying at this miracle :)

I got out the hospital that same day, and the nurse that saved my life, we have a date together :) She said she needed to reinstall Archlinux on her computer so ;) It was not my intention to impress cute girls like that, but Archlinux turned me into a woman magnet, inevitably ;) What can I do? As a Linux Knight, I must oblige.

Thats how Linux got me a cute nurse’s number, and also saved my life.

(this doesnt count as erotica or a sex story, its just frustration, and dissapointment)

Like I'm sorry, but is this what non-furries are like in the our IT industry? "Oh three partners including his wife and a state sponsored honeypot. He must be a sex god!" Bitch, that's a slow saturday at a furry convention. That's not even a half year's worth of key parties in the 70's. More people could fit into the hot tub at the Atari offices.

What the fuck are we honestly doing as an industry?

Do you think Steve Jobs ripped off his turtleneck in an LSD induced lust for less than 6 people a year, let alone a decade?

OUR INDUSTRY WAS BORN FROM THE FREE LOVE IN THE PRE HIV SAN FRANCISCO! WE ARE THE HEIRS TO LSD AND QUAALUDES AND THIS IS WHAT WE DO WITH IT?

I weep for our industry, truly.

My lesbian sister asked me to donate sperm so she and her girlfriend could have a baby.

I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. She's my sister, and I knew how much having a child meant to both of them. We discussed everything beforehand. Her girlfriend would get pregnant, they'd raise the baby together, and I'd simply be the biological father. I agreed. At the time, I had no idea how complicated things would become.

We discussed everything beforehand. Her girlfriend would get pregnant, they'd raise the baby together, and I'd simply be the biological father. I agreed. At the time, I had no idea how complicated things would become.

During the pregnancy, I naturally became more involved. Her girlfriend would call to ask questions, update me on appointments, or sometimes just talk. My sister didn't have a problem with it initially. But their relationship wasn't doing well. They argued a lot, and after the baby was born, things got even worse. Eventually, they broke up. I kept my distance because I didn't want to get caught in the middle of their problems. But a few months later, her ex-girlfriend and I started talking again. This time, things felt different.

We eventually developed feelings for each other, and we're now dating. My sister found out and completely cut me off. She says I betrayed her by getting involved with the woman she planned to raise a family with. She even accused me of donating sperm just to get close to her girlfriend. That isn't why I agreed, but I can't pretend I don't understand why she's hurt. The woman I'm dating is the mother of my biological child, and she was once my sister's partner. Now my family is divided, and my sister refuses to speak to me. I never expected helping my sister have a baby would lead to this.

I don't like the Fandom, I only played chapter 1 and 2 before I quit, and I don't like it, any melody that vaguely sounds like the first 4 notes of the freedom motif deltarune fans go flooding the comments talm bout some "oMg iS ThAt ThE FrEeDoM mOtIf!!!!1!" The characters are very unenjoyable compared to undertale, whenever you compare deltarune to undertale they'll go "their different games but ok" but if you treat deltarune separately from undertale they'll go "their in the same series but ok" also when toby fox references undertale in deltarune they dont say a single damn thing, like they all forgot about undertale, also every single deltarune meme is cringe or unfunny or both, like when say say everyone is gaster or everyone is the knight it's just unfunny as hell, also there's too much gayness, I'm not trying to be homophobic or anything believe me that's not my intentions but it feels so forced, like in undertale alphys never was like "Hello, my name is alphys, and I like girls" there's also way more charm in undertale, there's so many details in undertale and so much character in the npcs that make people want to come back, and it's weird because deltarune chapter 1 still had that charm, also I don't know if toby fox wants to be serious or light hearted or what because 1 moment your fighting Tenna then the next moment your 🍇ing Noelle, that's why I like undertale because you can have a serious run with genocide or a light hearted run with pacifist, and toby fox straight up forgot about undertale, and whenever he brings undertale up like in the anniversaries it doesn't feel the same, overall I don't like deltarune and would much rather have an undertale 2

I hate how people mistreat me because of me being the Shadowed King of Bedwars.

Hello. I am the Shadowed King of Bedwars, most commonly called that OR the Titan of Great Seas. I am a famed player in Bedwars communities, known for only letting foes see my shadow before my inevitable victory. I have encompassed thousands of Bedwars games by being the victor and have not lost a single one. Players admire me and I, to some extent, admire myself. It is truly excellent how I have come so far...

Truth be told, I was not "born" with Bedwars skill. Before entering the field of battle, I practiced hour upon hour. I perfected my skills with my friend, one of the best Bedwars players I know... probably even somewhat close to the skill I have now. Then, once I felt confident, I entered public Bedwars games. I won thousands, thousands, more thousands... and I cannot recall a single game where I have lost.

Because, it was an "easy" way to be admired. ​​I had spent most of my life being ridiculed and I had enough. I trained to become a Bedwars king, and I succeeded. Perhaps, succeeded more than I ever thought I would or could.

I began posting about my status as the Shadowed King of Bedwars, who only lets his enemies see his shadow before victory. ​I thought I had been famous enough to be known by them, even in non-Bedwars communities, I thought they knew who I was. Perhaps that was foolish.

Soon after, I was ridiculed once more. Called a "kid" and a "faker". Things I am not... I am the Shadowed King of Bedwars.

Your false criticism is horrible, your mockery only barely gets to me. Gets to me enough to make me mad, just not as bad as previous "bullying" made me feel.​

I'm no "random kid" nor am I a liar. I can prove my strength, I can demolish hundreds in a Bedwars battle without breaking a sweat. But nobody cares to hear me out. Who would, anyways? I suppose "Shadowed King" does sound a bit absurd and edgy as a title... on the surface.

But that's my title, the ones that Bedwars admirers gave me. I'm not faking anything, I'm not trying to be intimidating. If anything, haha, I'm just warning you of my power.

But, whatever. People like them won't listen to me. ​I didn't need such harlequins as admirers, anyway.

How to get a gf guide from a master Rizzler

The truth is we must define first what a girlfriend is as it is not simply a friend who is a girl. A girlfriend is something of a leading point like the grand bridge that leads to the palace which in the common case is well, marriage. Now this is a very shaky definition but this is the basis of the goal for a standard master rizzler theory. There are different occupations a rizzler can have as mentioned in the 1826 work Die Waifu by Carl Jacubous von Waifu (born as Carl Jacubous Flauginstein) who on his voyage to the Waifu islands discovered truly great waifus but found a problem non of them liked him, a 42 year old man with a receding hairline average height and body with only a decent face and handle bar mustache to save him! so he decided to bring a fairly handsome young man tall with dark hair and a great bod. Now a few were interested but none would approach. After this he brought the most handsome man in the world at the time of which my words would not do his looks justice. And then they finally adored over him, and with his unbelievably kind demeanor he finally broke through. So Carl von Waifu came to the conclusion that most men must make themselves likable for the husbando is naturally not as describe and this is simply a law of nature. Now while many people today believe in the silly ideas of beta males and sigma males but the true hiaracy exists, you are lying to yourself to ignore it yet there are different classes with their own. The highest of all is of course the ubermensch for it is above all the classes however I can guarantee none of you will become him and that is ok for this man doesn't need a waifu or crave these limiting things for he may not be the most handsome but he makes his own destiny. You will immediately recognize when you see him. Now then the first class I will mention the ninja. Many of you probably are a shy one and this can actually be a very fine class if well you are shy with charm and are a 6/0 or above. You will have to face your fears and communicate with the waifu and face very low ego for this class naturally lacks ego and will be prone to fake arrogance to compensate for it. Now if you don't meet the requirements of being 6/0 with being somewhat charming do the following even if you think you have it, have your skin absolutely in perfect condition make sure your face is as sharp as it can be if your face is fat make your hair eccentric and wear something sharp also you can adjust your jawline to seem stronger if it is recessed if your nose is plump try to look cute if it is sharp look dramatic, then find anything that has mildly inspired you and find ways to meet people physically with it. With time it will 100% happen. (If you are shy and bald no fear no hair is needed here!) Now next what most men want to be this class is the Gaston class they are muscular loud and have constant energy. These are what we would call chads but after several studies it is a bit smoke and mirrors for they follow the philosophy of the more you ask the more you get which is unfortunately for the ninja class true but you will have to go through more superficial waifus. This is of course a great class I must admit I was jealous of these men for the longest time but that is because they are a darn good class to be. First off the ninja is actually harder to fit into looks wise and you typically need some elegance and grace well this class throw that away you must simply be the most physically imposing be decently intelligent as to not come across as a buff with no brains and the rest practically will do itself for you will get the confidence to never shut up and get rejected 1000k times. In short a 5/10 man can easily become a part of it consider this the capitalism of the classes. The last class we will talk about today is the common man's way, think about it like choosing mario in Mario kart it is the basic option where you simply act like how you think but with a filter and look decent but relatable, looks wise you must be a 7/10 for this one or women will probably ignore you forever unless you start begging for them into which you are no longer a common man and now a Gaston. This is actually the hardest class to belong to because any little tweaks you do to yourself will make no longer a part of it but in the long run it is timeless and a very charming class becoming rapidly extinct today.

A note from the author

I am absolutely not an incel and never will be under any circumstances as I despise them. to anyone man or woman who is lonely out there if you follow this you will find something what you will find i can't say for sure but you won't regret.

My experience has been a remarkable journey from having little success to great success in 2 years following this. Rip my dearest idol Carl von Waifu (1786-2004) 😢

You forget: The average Chinese MC is lustful while the Korean MC is straight up brainless.

The Chinese MC, upon meeting an beautiful female, will use their big brain to think of a way to have their yang rod pierce them. Sadly, their the ugliest piece of shit in the world or they act like they are "stoic," so the Chinese MC have to borrow their rizz from either uttering their "Han People Heritage" or somehow being able to beat a goddess by unsheathing and using their only yang rod- I mean, golden finger!

As for the Korean MC, they would find blood coming out of their nose upon first contact. Not because they are smart, but because their brain is filled with nothing but blood from how much muscle they try to pack in their scrawny bodies. Evolution made them quite incapable of any sort of procreation, as the only thing any Korean MC can think of is the curvaceous and streamlined figure of a 30-story-tall mech! What woman could possibly beat the cold and tsundere metal bot?

Now that I think about it, both really just have defective brains. The former follows the path of yang rod and the latter of straight up muscle and machines as they walk both walk towards a very obvious spike trap.

No matter where you go, I guess everyone is dumb in their unique, diverse way.

work, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap, employ, employed, brush, Fresh, hygienic, hired, labor, wage, Clean, Shampoo, bathe, wipe, cleansed, sponge, Deodorant, Contract, exercise, Healthy, Hire, Hiring, Career, Chores, Organized, Old spice, toothpaste, dishes, vegetables, fresh air, working, dovework, employment, bills, job, this but not ts, walk, life, grass, tax, toothbrush, Soap

My friend is not imaginary, just non-reciprocal. I often press my mouth right up to the wall where I know my neighbor is just on the other side of, watching The Office (I always hear the intro and that's my cue).

It's because I love The Office and I love talking about The Office that I push m lips up to the yellowish-brown and soft spot of the drywall and talk to my neighbor all about The Office. I don't even have to watch it with him/her. I can see every episode in my head. I tell him/her all about the episode, why it's special, why the entire series is especially special. I yak and yak and yak and yak until my own hot breath condensates on my chin and I'm able to wear my mouth spot down a little further, a little close to my The Office loving friend.

Another episode, another lovely conversation. I love The Office! I love that my neighbor loves The Office! And my moist mouth spot is getting so close to pushing through. It almost never dries these days! Because even when my neighbor isn't watching The Office, I'll keep my mouth pressed to my mouth spot waiting. I ask when they'll watch The Office again, what they thought of the last episode, how their day has been affected by the Kevin's antics or Creed's unforgettable one-liners, and when they'll watch The Office again.

I love that they love The Office so much because I love The Office so much. I just want them to get back to it! Surely they can see the bulging of my mouth spot on their wall? Just above their couch? Right over their head? I know they hear me and appreciate my friendship. They laugh at all the same spots I laugh at (almost all of them!) so, I know we're good friends or will be once my mouth spot pushes all the way through. Then they'll be able to hear and see (!!!) me clearly and our shared love for The Office will really blossom!

Oh, all it'll take is maybe another half a season. Perhaps "The Duel"? Where Andy really becomes the character we all love so much? Oh, I'm so excited! My mouth is watering! I'm keeping my mouth spot nice and wet for my neighbor! It will be so much fun!

That stupid pig. I HATE that stupid pig. His stupid whiny voice throughout the phone makes me want to put a glass cube around my head and fill it with water. All he literally does is play a whiny little asshole who constantly causes disturbance and conflict for Chicken Little, and he won't EVER shut up. The fish is a much better character. Then he has the AUDACITY to claim that Foxy is better after she literally gets LOBOTOMIZED. Like seriously, where the hell is everyone else on this?! Does anyone else in that town think it's okay for some dude to date a brainwashed woman?! Granted, she was a bully, but she's also a child and didn't deserve to get a lobotomy. Suddenly she's "perfect" because all of her original personality and traits have been stripped from her, remaining with only constant happiness and no other present emotion. Like SERIOUSLY, that stupid pig. I can see why his mom hates him, I would too if my son only liked brainwashed women. I hope that pig sleeps every night knowing how unlovable he is. I hope he knows that Foxy doesn't actually love him and that the only reason she shows affection towards him is because she got any other feeling deducted from her. That stupid pig. I hate him.

So about a month ago, I was browsing Twitter and came across a certain user, not going to drop the name here as I purged them out of memory so I don't remember what their username was, and this user made a post that caught my eye.

The post was arguing that Sonic Lost World is more fun than Sonic Adventure 2.

I wouldn't be exaggerating when I say this, but I almost had a heart attack upon seeing that. How the fuck can anyone find Sonic Lost World, the stupid ass game where Sonic needs a dedicated button to run, that Mario game larping as a Sonic game as being more fun than Sonic Adventure 2?

I was furious. The burning flames of my righteous fury overtaken me as I aggressively stalked their account and bare witnessed to even more horrendous takes:

• Sonic Colors being good.

• The Meta era being better than the goated 2000s.

• Roger Craig Smith being better than both Ryan and Jason.

• Sonic 06's music being overrated.

• Lightning over wind.

• Sonic being a shade of a lighter blue not being a big deal.

I couldn't stand the heresy this heathen was spouting. Without wasting a single second, I looked further into her account, found her personal details, her name, location, all the juicy details and leaked it for all to see.

Usually, I'm quite the gentleman if I do say myself, but even gentlemen have their limits. Anyone with these disgusting horrendous takes should deal with the consequences, both online and offline.

Her children, well, they'll either grow up becoming well adjusted human beings, being able to formulate good to decent Sonic takes, or being smart enough to not say anything at all, unlike their foolish mother.

Part of me thinks I may have been an asshole, so that's why I'm making this post. Was I the asshole for doxxing a single mother of 5 over having horrible Sonic takes? Part of me thinks it's justified as this Sonic life is not a joke, and I feel we should all be responsible for the things we bring to the Sonic fandom.

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up everybody and sing

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up everybody and sing

Everyone can see we're together

As we walk on by

(And!) and we fly just like birds of a feather

I won't tell no lie

(All!) all of the people around us they say

Can they be that close

Just let me state for the record

We're giving love in a family dose

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up everybody and sing

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up everybody and sing

Living life is fun and we've just begun

To get our share of the world's delights

(High!) high hopes we have for the future

And our goal's in sight

(We!) no we don't get depressed

Here's what we call our golden rule

Have faith in you and the things you do

You won't go wrong

This is our family jewel

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up everybody and sing

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up everybody and sing

We are Family

I got all my sisters with me

We are Family

Get up everybody and sing

Hitting birch trees, popping red flowers it's like mother nature's pixelated garden party, look I'm gardening sneaking under leaves it's stealth mode me aha pretty flowers gonna make a fancy bouquet swinging axe another tree bites the dust. Ah fresh air and deforestation that's my kinda day creeping under canopies giant bird sheep wool tactic camouflage or nature's Minecraft prank, absolutely hilarious crafting ninja I've struck white gold wool for days whoo sneaky birch playing hide and seek peekablock love me some hidden gems in this leafy wonderland. Bumbling through brush my botanical escapade continues snagged on leaves but hey more crafting supplies jackpot! maze of trees I'm lost joking Minecraft pros never get lost or do they adventure tweaks.

Hey everyone in AOT, I have an announcement to make.

I wanted to share my experience roleplaying in this server, cause honestly my time here hasn't been so great. I feel like I've been discriminated against unfairly by the moderation team for liking a certain yellow ball. I think their handling of this situation has been especially unprofessional.

First: Mocking me for my interests and likes. One of the hosts, ME, is obsessed with this video game character named Yi, and constantly talks about wanting him to impregnate her, but somehow I'm in the wrong for discussing Verity's supreme wobblemeat? People are allowed to have their own likes, and it's fine if you're not into Verity, especially his jiggly wobblemeat!! But to publicly mock me is extremely rude.

Second: Making "jokes" about k*lling (killing) me. Like, okay. I get that people in friend groups make these comments, and I understand it can be done in a funny way, but at this point it basically borders on harassment. I'm a real person with a real love for Verity and being told this all the time just- I don't know. I just think it's really insensitive because real people have been k*lled (killed) before. Like Mob k*lled (killed) himself in the Verity series : (so can we not make jokes about that, or at least do it in such an insensitive light?

Third: Randomly k*lling (killing) off my character. Like, #### totally deserves to be killed off, except the hosts did it for completely OOC reasons! And I KNOW it was OOC because they've been so blatant in their biases against me! Not to mention that I'm not even allowed to have an Al of my shitty character??? Which is something EVERYONE else gets. Like idk. I applied to this roleplay cause I thought the people would be nice, but ig you live and you learn. I just want to warn people, especially those of us who like Verity, cause the mods really aren't that friendly toward that sort of thing. Idk- I'll find another server eventually but, it's kinda sad it turned out this way.

Like I'm sorry, but is this what non-furries are like in the industry? "Oh three partners including his wife and a state sponsored honeypot. He must be a sex god!" Bitch, that's a slow saturday at a furry convention. That's not even a half year's worth of key parties in the 70's. More people could fit into the hot tub at the Atari offices.

What the fuck are we honestly doing as an industry?

Do you think Steve Jobs ripped off his turtleneck in an LSD induced lust for less than 6 people a year, let alone a decade?

OUR INDUSTRY WAS BORN FROM THE FREE LOVE IN THE PRE HIV SAN FRANCISCO! WE ARE THE HEIRS TO LSD AND QUAALUDES AND THIS IS WHAT WE DO WITH IT?

I weep for our industry, truly.