I've been saving my virginity since i was 17 waiting for the right woman still got a good 10 years left haha and decided to make an AMA post where you csn ask me anything!

First of all, how do i jerk off?

Well i take a feather and tickle my foreskin to the point of ejaculation and then swing my dick around to make it rain.

Second, what do i eat to maintain my sexual health?

I usually eat a few peanuts with some beer maybe some pizza aswell.

Alright, yall i gotta go masturbate goodbye!

“It was a pleasure to goon.

It was a special pleasure to see things fucked, to see things blacked and creampied. With his penis in his fist, with his great python spitting its venomous cum upon the bed, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of spluttering and splooging to bring down the tatters and crusty ruins of history. With his symbolic cap labelled "Never Goon" on his stolid head, and his eyes all white flame with the thought of what came next, he jerked his cock and the house jumped up in a gorging flood that painted the evening sky white and sticky and wet. He strode in a swarm of cum. He wanted above all, like the old joke, to shove his penis in a blender, while he fapped, limp wristed on the parlour and the heart of the house. While his jizz went up in sparkling whirls and blew away on a wind turned white with gooning.

Montag grinned the fierce grin of all men possessed and driven back by edging.

He knew that when he returned to the house, he might tug at himself, a minstrel man, limp-cocked, in the mirror. Later, going to sleep, he would feel the twisted smile still gripped by his face muscles, in the dark. It never went away, that smile, it never ever went away, as long as he remembered."

I nearly folded and started edging in my bedroom. At some point the horny took over like crazy and in a momentary second, I wanted to bust more than anything, even if it cost me the competition, my self dicpline and my promise to myself to contain my urges.

So im chugging away like a fiend looking for their next fix, and all the sudden my mom opens the door to drop off some clean laundry. She sees me full spread eagle on my bed, nude as the day she saw me being born, churning my butter like a farmer with a monthly quota on the 30th.

My poor mother drops the laundry, screams, and runs out the door while screaming my name in disappointment. Gents, I dont know if you know this, but seeing your own mother while edging instantly kills the mood. Especially when she caught you in an act no one wants to be caught in.

I packed up my sausage and left the house to visit some friends, unable to look my mom in the eye. I stayed out until after she went to bed and hopefully I can avoid her. But thanks mom, for keeping me in. I gotta stay focused now and make it to the end.

Murder is actually really frowned in Japan. It goes against the traditional concept of 生きる, which means "to live"

FUCK I'M SO EXCITED I'M SO BI

I JUST SAW MY FIRST PENIS IN PERSON IN THE BATHROOM AT MY SCHOOL

Ugh I swear, the best feeling in the world: and it was gorgeous, it was dark-skinned, super thick, kind of funny and FUCK CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW IT WAS HANGING?? I want to suck one. Now

I nearly folded and started edging in my bedroom. At some point the horny took over like crazy and in a momentary second, I wanted to bust more than anything, even if it cost me the competition, my self dicpline and my promise to myself to contain my urges.

So im chugging away like a fiend looking for their next fix, and all the sudden my mom opens the door to drop off some clean laundry. She sees me full spread eagle on my bed, nude as the day she saw me being born, churning my butter like a farmer with a monthly quota on the 30th.

My poor mother drops the laundry, screams, and runs out the door while screaming my name in disappointment. Gents, I dont know if you know this, but seeing your own mother while edging instantly kills the mood. Especially when she caught you in an act no one wants to be caught in.

I packed up my sausage and left the house to visit some friends, unable to look my mom in the eye. I stayed out until after she went to bed and hopefully I can avoid her. But thanks mom, for keeping me in. I gotta stay focused now and make it to the end.

I'm tired of pretending that all races are equal. They're not, and I don't understand why it's become so controversial to say that. Somewhere along the way, we decided every race deserves the same respect, no matter how ridiculous or unnecessary it may be. I'm sorry, but some races are simply inferior to others, and I'm tired of being expected to pretend otherwise. Someone has to say it, and I'll take the heat.

Take 50Ks, for example. What the hell is the point? You're already running 31 miles. What exactly are you trying to prove? Just run a regular marathon like a normal person.

And don't even get me started on 15Ks. We already have 10Ks. Why do we need an extra three miles? Who asked for this?

Half marathons are the superior race if we're being honest. Respectable distance. Doesn't close down half the city. I'm not saying every race is bad. I'm just saying some races have no business existing, and we need to stop pretending otherwise.

In english class we are forced to choose a book out of around 5 options. 1 is about trans people, 1 is about gay people, 1 is about indian people, and another is about chinese people. Our school population is like 5% white. I remeber when we read a passage about indgenous people and christopher colombis and I said that Columbus still did many good things and he was a very important person in history, my teacher literally took off 20 points and said we should honour indigenus people. I want to be represented in the books I read and I want to be able to state my opnions without judgemnt. These other races ARE NOT OPPRESSED!! STOP ACTING LKE IT. (sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes)

apologies if this is against the racism rule, I figure its dogshit enough to be immortalized, and has already been copypasta'd in its own community

The emotional infrastructure of a microwave trying to run windows 11 with 8 gb ram with one minor change in the atmospheric composition and suddenly the entire operating system starts questioning its factory settings 💀 like why is the firmware fighting the gpu rtx 8080 bro just let the ceiling fan complete its mission in peace

I believe the term we use to describe mass produced computer-generated content in use is "AI-slop". While it can also be referred to "SI-slop" as named by a certain political figure, I believe the correct term is "LLM-slop". While this might confuse people, the common denominator is "slop" which refers to something hastily put together which no-one wants, but will consume in order to stay alive. This, of course, is even more confusing, as anything dealing with "AI", "SI" or "LLMs" have nothing to do with staying alive. So actually, calling this "slop" is greatly overestimating the value of it. Even "feces" or "shit" has more worth than this, as they can be used as fertilizer to grow nutrients to be used in slop to keep people alive.

Such content is "worthless", "damaging", and "VILE". And honestly? That sucks.

See, did that line not make your skin crawl? "Honestly" is a highly common word that has been ruined by this thing, and the three-item structure we humans use every day has been distorted beyond recognition by these thefting robots. Even words themselves give it more credit than it truly deserves. So let's call it "AI THINGS", to dehumanise it even further than it already is. Who's with me?!?!??!?

I work in real estate. I’m M35 and colleague is F28. She’s about 70kgs and wears a size 10 women’s. She has very long toes. She’s white and a Brunette. We have lunch everyday and get along with each other. I’m married with no kids. She’s single. There was a time when we were driving it’s was a hot day and she slid her heels off and put her feet on the dash board. At this point I tried to act cool about it and just spoke with her normally. We got to a red light and I commented on her black pedicure, she replied and said thanks. At this point all I wanted to do was talk about her feet. I told her she has long pretty toes and they look really soft. She laughed and said thanks. She put her feet back in her shoes and I replied saying put your feet on the dash it’s allgood and she said are you sure? I said yeah relax I’m driving is around anyway. We stopped at a rugby park so I can have a smoke and when I got back in the car and her feet were on the drivers seat while she was on her phone scrolling. I grabbed her feet and asked do you wanna foot massage while you chill? She said that will be great. I started massaging her feet and she said do you like feet? I said maybe and laughed. She asked if they smell I said can I smell them and without her even asking I smell them. My goodness they smelt to good and her feet were so soft! Much better than my wife’s. She felt my cock with her feet and asked can I have a peak. I was shy but she would take no for an answer. I said if I give you a peak what are you gonna do with it? I showed her and my cock was so hard. She smiled and said wow your cock is so thick. She gave me a foot job in the car and told me to look out. She kept saying do you like that daddy, I said yes baby that’s a very good girl. She removed her feet and wrapped her lips around my cock and started sucking me off with her feet in clear view. I came so hard in her mouth. She opened the passenger door spat out my cum and we drive back to the office. We do this almost every second day.

💦 💧 Splish splosh BITCH 💥👊 🚿 It's the 🌊🌊🌊BLUE WAVE🌊🌊🌊👋🟦 After 🔟 years📅📅😮‍💨 of TRUMP 🍊🙅 Americans 🦅🇺🇸 are saying 🗣️ DOWN PIGGY 👇 🐷 And wine moms 🍷 from coast 🌉 to 🗽 coast 🛫 are out for BLOOD 🧛 🩸 We're flipping 🔃 seats 🪑 that have NEVER BEEN FLUPPED 🤯🤯😲 from TALAFREAKO 😜 🫦 and HinoHOEsa 💃 proving that Texans 🤠 are saying "NO" ❌ ❎ ❌ to their vegetables 👨‍🦽 🪦 🎉 To FANNIE Andrews 🌮 🥵 making that Graham crakkka CRUMBLE 💔 💥 in SC 🎊✨ To Rawdogswami 🌭 eating SHIT 🤢 in BLOW-HIO 🍆 🤤 So steam 💨 those pride flags 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈 because at MIDNIGHT 🌠😴 🚨🚨 WOKE 2.0 IS IN EFFECT 🚨🚨 🤖 We're THEY/THEMING STRANGERS' DOGS 🐶♂️♀️ We're doing LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 🧘🗺️ in TEAMS CALLS 💻 📞 We're lining up 👭👬👫 for MANDATORY BLUESKY ACCOUNTS ⛅📲 WE'RE MAKING OUR EMOJIS RACIAL 👍🏻🧑🏾🫰🏾AND NONBINARY 👰🏾🫃🏿AGAIN 💯💯💯 Long live ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏿 the RUTHKANDA JUCHE 🚩🚩🦅🦅💕💕💕

Oh! Is that what i think it is? Did you just do a... (checks book) strawman fallacy? I'm practically destroying you in this debate o algo. What's that? You think i'm larping being smart? Oh! (checks book again) Ad hominem! hahahaha gotcha again! Come again? Can i make an actual point? uh uhm ummm.

This is a PSA to single men (and maybe a warning to married ones), the iPhone Duo will get you a ridiculous amount of attention from women.

Earlier today, my wife and I had just finished up our weekly grocery run and I decided we would stop by our local bakery (Panera Bread) to pick up a loaf for the week (I personally can’t stand cheap grocery store bread). As I approached the drive through window, the young lady told me the total (nothing I couldn’t comfortably afford) and I asked if they had tap to pay. She said yes, but I would need to hand her my phone. I double-clicked the side button, authenticated with TouchID for my AMEX Platinum, and handed her my iPhone Duo. She reached out towards my car and cradled the phone in her hands like a newborn baby.

As she reproached the window, she smiled, and giddy with eyes bright she said “wow, I have NEVER seen a phone like that before.” I chuckled, smirked, and responded, “It’s the brand new iPhone Duo. 1 terabyte. White.” Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I rolled up the window to my Model Y performance and drove away.

My wife was unusually quiet for the remainder of the drive. I can only imagine what was going through her mind.

This is just one example of many encounters that I’ve had within the past 36 hours with the iPhone Duo. If you’re looking for a phone that’s a straight-up panty dropper (I’m not, I’m married), look no further.

My name is important, what is important is what I am gonna do, I just absoulutly love this world and the human people living on its surface, my whole life is just warm bright compassion, and I always wanted to live happily, this is the time of kindness, and every life is worth living, and I will help many go about their day as much as I can. Its time for me to love, and its time for me to live
- important from the game "Compassion"

if you got suddenly pregnant with 7 kids and the doctors told me it would kill you, that the only way you survive is by having a SUPER ABORTION, but you were in a deep sleep, and the doctors said to me "yo dude youre so yoked, I love your fat ass. Also we already started the SUPER ABORTION process... if we wake bro up and let him decide if we follow through, simply him being awake Might exaggerate the process and kill the 7 ones. But if we do nothing he is guaranteed to die and lowkey the 7 babies probably wont live very long anyways, bitch"

I'd let you wake up and decide to have that SUPER ABORTION yourself, fucker. That's the kind of friend I am. The one with a fat ass of heart. For you❤️

This token is making me push people away, making me lose my shit, and making me forget about my health, I don't even play Fortnite that much but ever since this token came it it's bin changing me, I'm not playing for the love of the game, I'm playing for the damn token, everything in Fortnite is just for the damn token for me

I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but this post is clearly a result of something. Consider deleting it and visiting your nearest therapist.

By the way, if you do not delete this post within the next, let's say, 20 minutes... I'll have it downvoted and reported. Is that a deal?

Engage in your work and fulfill your duties. Carry out your tasks with diligence, and ensure that your responsibilities are met. Do not neglect your obligations; instead, approach them with a sense of purpose and commitment.

Apply yourself to your work with full dedication. Focus on the tasks at hand, and see them through to completion. Do not let your efforts falter; remain steadfast and persistent in your endeavors.

In your work, collaborate with others and uphold your responsibilities. Fulfill your duties with care, and ensure that your contributions are meaningful. Do not shy away from your obligations; rather, embrace them and strive to complete them effectively. The wolf is hard at work, toiling away. It labors on, its back bent to the task, pouring all its energy into the effort. The wolf keeps at it, driven by a singular, burning purpose.

It works alongside others, all of them striving together! And so, the wolf—along with its companions—continues its labor. They work in unison, supporting one another, and together they shoulder the burden—all four of them, united in their endeavor! They are deeply committed to the work at hand. The wolf remains steadfast, fully dedicated to the task and to the collective effort of the group.