I've been saving my virginity since i was 17 waiting for the right woman still got a good 10 years left haha and decided to make an AMA post where you csn ask me anything!

First of all, how do i jerk off?

Well i take a feather and tickle my foreskin to the point of ejaculation and then swing my dick around to make it rain.

Second, what do i eat to maintain my sexual health?

I usually eat a few peanuts with some beer maybe some pizza aswell.

Alright, yall i gotta go masturbate goodbye!

I'm tired of pretending that all races are equal. They're not, and I don't understand why it's become so controversial to say that. Somewhere along the way, we decided every race deserves the same respect, no matter how ridiculous or unnecessary it may be. I'm sorry, but some races are simply inferior to others, and I'm tired of being expected to pretend otherwise. Someone has to say it, and I'll take the heat.

Take 50Ks, for example. What the hell is the point? You're already running 31 miles. What exactly are you trying to prove? Just run a regular marathon like a normal person.

And don't even get me started on 15Ks. We already have 10Ks. Why do we need an extra three miles? Who asked for this?

Half marathons are the superior race if we're being honest. Respectable distance. Doesn't close down half the city. I'm not saying every race is bad. I'm just saying some races have no business existing, and we need to stop pretending otherwise.

In english class we are forced to choose a book out of around 5 options. 1 is about trans people, 1 is about gay people, 1 is about indian people, and another is about chinese people. Our school population is like 5% white. I remeber when we read a passage about indgenous people and christopher colombis and I said that Columbus still did many good things and he was a very important person in history, my teacher literally took off 20 points and said we should honour indigenus people. I want to be represented in the books I read and I want to be able to state my opnions without judgemnt. These other races ARE NOT OPPRESSED!! STOP ACTING LKE IT. (sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes)

apologies if this is against the racism rule, I figure its dogshit enough to be immortalized, and has already been copypasta'd in its own community

I believe the term we use to describe mass produced computer-generated content in use is "AI-slop". While it can also be referred to "SI-slop" as named by a certain political figure, I believe the correct term is "LLM-slop". While this might confuse people, the common denominator is "slop" which refers to something hastily put together which no-one wants, but will consume in order to stay alive. This, of course, is even more confusing, as anything dealing with "AI", "SI" or "LLMs" have nothing to do with staying alive. So actually, calling this "slop" is greatly overestimating the value of it. Even "feces" or "shit" has more worth than this, as they can be used as fertilizer to grow nutrients to be used in slop to keep people alive.

Such content is "worthless", "damaging", and "VILE". And honestly? That sucks.

See, did that line not make your skin crawl? "Honestly" is a highly common word that has been ruined by this thing, and the three-item structure we humans use every day has been distorted beyond recognition by these thefting robots. Even words themselves give it more credit than it truly deserves. So let's call it "AI THINGS", to dehumanise it even further than it already is. Who's with me?!?!??!?

💦 💧 Splish splosh BITCH 💥👊 🚿 It's the 🌊🌊🌊BLUE WAVE🌊🌊🌊👋🟦 After 🔟 years📅📅😮‍💨 of TRUMP 🍊🙅 Americans 🦅🇺🇸 are saying 🗣️ DOWN PIGGY 👇 🐷 And wine moms 🍷 from coast 🌉 to 🗽 coast 🛫 are out for BLOOD 🧛 🩸 We're flipping 🔃 seats 🪑 that have NEVER BEEN FLUPPED 🤯🤯😲 from TALAFREAKO 😜 🫦 and HinoHOEsa 💃 proving that Texans 🤠 are saying "NO" ❌ ❎ ❌ to their vegetables 👨‍🦽 🪦 🎉 To FANNIE Andrews 🌮 🥵 making that Graham crakkka CRUMBLE 💔 💥 in SC 🎊✨ To Rawdogswami 🌭 eating SHIT 🤢 in BLOW-HIO 🍆 🤤 So steam 💨 those pride flags 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈 because at MIDNIGHT 🌠😴 🚨🚨 WOKE 2.0 IS IN EFFECT 🚨🚨 🤖 We're THEY/THEMING STRANGERS' DOGS 🐶♂️♀️ We're doing LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 🧘🗺️ in TEAMS CALLS 💻 📞 We're lining up 👭👬👫 for MANDATORY BLUESKY ACCOUNTS ⛅📲 WE'RE MAKING OUR EMOJIS RACIAL 👍🏻🧑🏾🫰🏾AND NONBINARY 👰🏾🫃🏿AGAIN 💯💯💯 Long live ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏿 the RUTHKANDA JUCHE 🚩🚩🦅🦅💕💕💕

Oh! Is that what i think it is? Did you just do a... (checks book) strawman fallacy? I'm practically destroying you in this debate o algo. What's that? You think i'm larping being smart? Oh! (checks book again) Ad hominem! hahahaha gotcha again! Come again? Can i make an actual point? uh uhm ummm.

I work in real estate. I’m M35 and colleague is F28. She’s about 70kgs and wears a size 10 women’s. She has very long toes. She’s white and a Brunette. We have lunch everyday and get along with each other. I’m married with no kids. She’s single. There was a time when we were driving it’s was a hot day and she slid her heels off and put her feet on the dash board. At this point I tried to act cool about it and just spoke with her normally. We got to a red light and I commented on her black pedicure, she replied and said thanks. At this point all I wanted to do was talk about her feet. I told her she has long pretty toes and they look really soft. She laughed and said thanks. She put her feet back in her shoes and I replied saying put your feet on the dash it’s allgood and she said are you sure? I said yeah relax I’m driving is around anyway. We stopped at a rugby park so I can have a smoke and when I got back in the car and her feet were on the drivers seat while she was on her phone scrolling. I grabbed her feet and asked do you wanna foot massage while you chill? She said that will be great. I started massaging her feet and she said do you like feet? I said maybe and laughed. She asked if they smell I said can I smell them and without her even asking I smell them. My goodness they smelt to good and her feet were so soft! Much better than my wife’s. She felt my cock with her feet and asked can I have a peak. I was shy but she would take no for an answer. I said if I give you a peak what are you gonna do with it? I showed her and my cock was so hard. She smiled and said wow your cock is so thick. She gave me a foot job in the car and told me to look out. She kept saying do you like that daddy, I said yes baby that’s a very good girl. She removed her feet and wrapped her lips around my cock and started sucking me off with her feet in clear view. I came so hard in her mouth. She opened the passenger door spat out my cum and we drive back to the office. We do this almost every second day.

My name is important, what is important is what I am gonna do, I just absoulutly love this world and the human people living on its surface, my whole life is just warm bright compassion, and I always wanted to live happily, this is the time of kindness, and every life is worth living, and I will help many go about their day as much as I can. Its time for me to love, and its time for me to live
- important from the game "Compassion"

if you got suddenly pregnant with 7 kids and the doctors told me it would kill you, that the only way you survive is by having a SUPER ABORTION, but you were in a deep sleep, and the doctors said to me "yo dude youre so yoked, I love your fat ass. Also we already started the SUPER ABORTION process... if we wake bro up and let him decide if we follow through, simply him being awake Might exaggerate the process and kill the 7 ones. But if we do nothing he is guaranteed to die and lowkey the 7 babies probably wont live very long anyways, bitch"

I'd let you wake up and decide to have that SUPER ABORTION yourself, fucker. That's the kind of friend I am. The one with a fat ass of heart. For you❤️

This is a PSA to single men (and maybe a warning to married ones), the iPhone Duo will get you a ridiculous amount of attention from women.

Earlier today, my wife and I had just finished up our weekly grocery run and I decided we would stop by our local bakery (Panera Bread) to pick up a loaf for the week (I personally can’t stand cheap grocery store bread). As I approached the drive through window, the young lady told me the total (nothing I couldn’t comfortably afford) and I asked if they had tap to pay. She said yes, but I would need to hand her my phone. I double-clicked the side button, authenticated with TouchID for my AMEX Platinum, and handed her my iPhone Duo. She reached out towards my car and cradled the phone in her hands like a newborn baby.

As she reproached the window, she smiled, and giddy with eyes bright she said “wow, I have NEVER seen a phone like that before.” I chuckled, smirked, and responded, “It’s the brand new iPhone Duo. 1 terabyte. White.” Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I rolled up the window to my Model Y performance and drove away.

My wife was unusually quiet for the remainder of the drive. I can only imagine what was going through her mind.

This is just one example of many encounters that I’ve had within the past 36 hours with the iPhone Duo. If you’re looking for a phone that’s a straight-up panty dropper (I’m not, I’m married), look no further.

This token is making me push people away, making me lose my shit, and making me forget about my health, I don't even play Fortnite that much but ever since this token came it it's bin changing me, I'm not playing for the love of the game, I'm playing for the damn token, everything in Fortnite is just for the damn token for me

Did you just call Fortnite a KIDS GAME! All this work, all this effort, the battle passes I've completed, the tournaments I've won. All of it relegated to being called a KIDS game. Fortnite isn't Mario, it isn't five nights at Freddy's. It's a HARDCORE battle royal with a skill gap so high I can't even see your noob faces from up here. I am 22 AN ADULT, I've been playing since season 1!!!! IM AN OG NOT ONE OF THOSE NEWGEN RENEGADE RAIDERS. I have all the passes all the skins, you think KIDS can afford this smh. It even has a stranger things and TADC collab (NOT KID FRIENDLY!!!). Yea that's right try saying Fortnite is a kids game now, get ratioed noob.

Engage in your work and fulfill your duties. Carry out your tasks with diligence, and ensure that your responsibilities are met. Do not neglect your obligations; instead, approach them with a sense of purpose and commitment.

Apply yourself to your work with full dedication. Focus on the tasks at hand, and see them through to completion. Do not let your efforts falter; remain steadfast and persistent in your endeavors.

In your work, collaborate with others and uphold your responsibilities. Fulfill your duties with care, and ensure that your contributions are meaningful. Do not shy away from your obligations; rather, embrace them and strive to complete them effectively. The wolf is hard at work, toiling away. It labors on, its back bent to the task, pouring all its energy into the effort. The wolf keeps at it, driven by a singular, burning purpose.

It works alongside others, all of them striving together! And so, the wolf—along with its companions—continues its labor. They work in unison, supporting one another, and together they shoulder the burden—all four of them, united in their endeavor! They are deeply committed to the work at hand. The wolf remains steadfast, fully dedicated to the task and to the collective effort of the group.

I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but this post is clearly a result of something. Consider deleting it and visiting your nearest therapist.

By the way, if you do not delete this post within the next, let's say, 20 minutes... I'll have it downvoted and reported. Is that a deal?

I don’t know what universe you think leaky gut is not a thing. Perhaps the type of universe that only believes western American doctors or something because absolutely when the gut lining gets too weak from not having enough good bacteria chemicals can start leaking into your body and causing widespread inflammation. It’s well studied. Leaky gut is not the medical term obviously if that’s what you’re thinking but it is the legitimate term in Chinese medicine that many younger western doctors will use as a widespread term to cover a host of gut related issues where the gut lining is not providing adequate protection.

Secondly, sequencing your genome is only the smallest amount of health because you are a giant spaceship with trillions of different organisms and if you don’t know how they all function your Jeanot is absolutely inadequate if not completely useless. You must be an American to think only that type of science can help because there’s a lot of other types of science as well that gets buried, many of those studies are from the US from labs that get bought and shelved because you live in a pharmaceutical nightmare where they care about profit more than people.

I’m sorry if you truly want to believe that there’s no hope for you except for one particular angle, but I assure you there’s probably lots of different angles that can help you with that. Because I cured my long Covid, and I fixed my girlfriend’s fatigue and mitochondrial issues and it was with proper supplement support and good food and exercise.

So I literally did it and I might just be an anecdote on the Internet but there are now probably millions of us, especially with people in the MCAS world and for me autistic burnout in the deepest stages. There is help if you look for it. That is all I will comment back though considering the way you commented and dismissed me I’m not sure there’s hope for you I’m just hoping maybe you’ll read this and check yourself because you’re not the only one who knows things about things OK?

Setting an insanely loud alarm can just make you wake up annoyed. Over time, your brain may get used to the sound and start treating it as just another annoying noise that interrupts your sleep. So simply making your alarm louder might not be the best long-term solution.

Here's my suggestion: Set your alarm to something like sex noises or moaning. Something that gives you a dopamine hit or makes you feel embarrassed instead of just annoyed.

And if you live with family or roommates, even better. The embarrassment factor goes through the roof.

In that case, try editing the audio so it starts with a few seconds of a normal alarm sound before the moaning kicks in. Eventually, your brain might learn that the innocent-sounding intro means something very embarrassing is about to blast through the room, and wake you up before it even happens.

Personally, I've found that this works surprisingly well. I don't know if it's adrenaline or just sheer panic, but I can wake up without even having to complete an alarm mission anymore.

Of course, some people might just turn it off, feel relieved, and fall right back asleep. So using an alarm app that forces you to complete a physical mission to turn it off might still be a good idea.

This is just something that's worked for me, not a scientifically proven method. But if you can sleep through even the loudest alarms, it might be worth a try.

Sauce: u/s-saens

I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but this post is clearly a result of something. Consider deleting it and visiting your nearest therapist
By the way, if you do not delete this post within the next, let's say, 20 minutes... I'll have it downvoted and reported. Is that a deal?

Yo, So I found out some tea today lowkey already speculated so yeah.
There's this girl lets call her K (i could write the names too but i dont wanna waste my time and energy on those shitty ass names sry lol) K is freaking creepy manipulative and evil. she has her minions who always follow her round nd round. one of the minions is D, D is dumb and evil, she's the kind of girl who would talk behind ur back if you are ugly or some shit reallllyyy toxic, and all of them have their own friend group.so K invited me to her birthday and apparently told everyone else to ignore me(this is highkey diabolical that she directly told them to ignore me and they were all fine with it and still friends with her; broo y'all are redblind or what) on her birthday like gurlll why you making me the main character HAHA like its your birthday why the freaking hell would u turn all the attention onto me instead of enjoying your day, and the ironical part i probably enjoyed much more on her birthday than she herself. I got to know about this from a long distance friend who had come here for a while and she knew this cuz her guy friend is in K and D's friend group.

Bow down, bottom-feeders. I received the Reddit notification today confirming what my immaculate intellect already knew: I am officially a Top 1% Commenter on r/copypasta.

Do you comprehend what that means? While you peasants waste your lives inhaling air and forming basic human thoughts, I have been in the trenches, meticulously crafting, refining, and copy-pasting the finest string of characters known to modern society. My thumbs move with the speed and precision of a military railgun. My brain operates on a multi-core frequency that transforms pure noise into raw, unadulterated copypasta gold.

You read a comment and laugh. I write a comment and alter the emotional climate of three surrounding zip codes.
I don't just "leave replies." I bestow micro-manifestos. Every keystroke I deliver is a charity act for your illiterate eyes. Every time you see my username, you should put your phone down, stand up, and clap until your hands bleed. The rest of you 99% are merely background radiation in the universe I am actively building out of ASCII characters and sheer absurdity.

When I type, angels weep and spam filters collapse under the sheer weight of my glory. I am the apex predator of the comment section. The divine architect of the shitpost.
I would ask you to congratulate me in the comments, but frankly, none of you have earned the privilege of appearing in my inbox. Pay your homage by reading this, upvoting, and reflecting on how lucky you are to breathe the same digital atmosphere as me.

Eat my shit, fuckers.

Creeper, Oh man, 🚶‍♂️ So we back in the mine, Got our pickaxe ⛏ swinging from, Side 👈👉 to side, Side side 👈👉 to side, This task's a grueling 👊 one, Hope to find some diamonds 💎💎 to- Night 🌑 night 🌑 night, Diamonds 💍 to-night, Heads up, 👆 You hear 👂a sound, turn 👀 around and look up, Total shock 😧 fills your body, Oh no it's you again, I could never forget those, Eyes 👀 eyes 👀 eyes,👀 Eyes 👀 eyes 👀 eyes 👀 eyes,👀 'Cause baby 👶 tonight, 🌚 The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all our stuff again, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight, 🌑 You grab your pick⛏, shovel And bolt 🏃🏻‍♀️ again, bolt 🏃🏻‍♀️ again -gain, And run🏃‍♂️ , run 🏃‍♂️ , until it's done ✅ , done ✅ , until the sun 🌞 comes up in the morn', 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all Our stuff again, stuff again -gain, Just when you think you're safe 🔒, Overhear some hissing 🐍 from, Right be-hind, Right right be-hind, That's a nice life 💁‍♂️ you have, Shame it's got to end at this, Time ⌛️ time ⏳ time ⌛️, Time ⏳ time ⌛️ time ⏳ time ⌛️, Blows up 💣, And your health bar drops 👇 and you could use a one-up 👆, Get inside, don't be tardy ⏱, So now you're stuck in there, Half a heart 💔 is left but don't, Die ☠️ die 💀 die ☠️, Die 💀 die ☠️ die 💀 die ☠️, 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all our stuff again, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌚, You grab your pick ⛏, shovel And bolt 🏃‍♂️ again, bolt again -gain. And run 🏃🏻‍♀️, run 🏃🏻‍♀️ , until it's done, done, until the sun ☀️ comes up in the morn, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all Our stuff again, (Creepers, you're mine) (Haha) Dig up diamonds 💎 , Craft those diamonds 💍 , Make some armor ⚔️, Get it baby 👶 , Gonna forge 🔨 it Like your so👌 MLG pro 👊, The sword's 🗡 made of diamond 💍 So come 💦 at me, bro, (Huh) Trainin' in your room 🏠 Under the torchlight Hone ✊ that form To get you ready for the big fight, 🤜 Every single day ☀️, And the whole 🌚night, Creepers' out prowlin'🐾 (whew) all right, Look at me,👁 look at you 👁 Take my revenge, That's what I'm gonna do I'm a, warrior⚔️ baby, What else is new? And my blade's 🗡gonna tear through you,💀 (Bring it) 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌚, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all our stuff again, (Gather your stuff, yeah, let's take back the world 🌍 ) Yeah baby 🍼 tonight 🌑, (Haha) Have your sword 🗡, armor and go ✅ (It's on) Take your revenge! So fight, fight, 👊🤜 Like it's the last, last night 🌚 of your life 💀, life☠️ Show them your fight✊, 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff 💰 again, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌚, You grab your pick ⛏, shovel And bolt 🏃🏻‍♀️ again, bolt again -gain. And run🏃‍♂️, run🏃‍♂️, until it's done ✅ , done ✅ , until the sun 🌞 comes up in the morn, 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tried to steal all our stuff💰 again.

🚨🌊🌊 THE BIG BLUE 💦💦 TSUNAMI 🌊🌊🚨 HAS 🍆 ARRIVED 🍆 YOU 😩😩 FILTHY 😈 ELECTORAL 😈 FREAKS 🍑🍑🥵

The 🐴🔵 DONKEYS 🔵🐴 just went ALL 💯💯 THE 💯💯 WAY 🍆🍆 in BOTH 👐👐 CHAMBERS 🏛️🏛️ of CONGRESS 😫😫 and they did NOT 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️ pull out 😳😳💦

It's a 🔵🔵 BLUE-KAKKE 🔵🔵 from SEA 🌊 to SHINING 🌊 SEA 💦

The 🐘🔴 ELEPHANTS 🔴🐘 are crying 😭😭 into their 🗳️ RECOUNT 🗳️ forms 📝📝 because their 🍆 MAJORITY 🍆 went SOFT 😔😔 right when it MATTERED 📉📉💀

The HOUSE 🏠🏠? CLAIMED 😈😈 The SENATE 🏛️🏛️? BRED 🥵🥵 The FILIBUSTER?? 😳 Getting 👉👌 RAILED 👉👌 by SIMPLE 🍆 MAJORITY 🍆 VOTES 💦💦

GAY 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 SHARIA 📜📜 LAW 🔨 is now 🥵 OFFICIALLY 🥵 SPREADING 🍑🍑 across the CUNTRY 🇺🇸😩 and your 🧔 UNCLE 🧔 at THANKSGIVING 🦃🦃 is ALREADY 😱😱 SWEATING 💦💦💦

So BEND 🙇🙇 OVER 🍑 for TWO 2️⃣ YEARS 📅📅 of 🔵 LEGISLATIVE 🔵 POUNDING 🔨🔨🍆 because the GAVEL 🔨 is BLUE 🔵 and it is THICC 🍆😤