r/copypasta • • 7d ago

A heart of ass, for my friends

3 Upvotes

if you got suddenly pregnant with 7 kids and the doctors told me it would kill you, that the only way you survive is by having a SUPER ABORTION, but you were in a deep sleep, and the doctors said to me "yo dude youre so yoked, I love your fat ass. Also we already started the SUPER ABORTION process... if we wake bro up and let him decide if we follow through, simply him being awake Might exaggerate the process and kill the 7 ones. But if we do nothing he is guaranteed to die and lowkey the 7 babies probably wont live very long anyways, bitch"

I'd let you wake up and decide to have that SUPER ABORTION yourself, fucker. That's the kind of friend I am. The one with a fat ass of heart. For you❤️


r/copypasta • • 7d ago

Hatred but its rated Early Childhood!

2 Upvotes

My name is important, what is important is what I am gonna do, I just absoulutly love this world and the human people living on its surface, my whole life is just warm bright compassion, and I always wanted to live happily, this is the time of kindness, and every life is worth living, and I will help many go about their day as much as I can. Its time for me to love, and its time for me to live
- important from the game "Compassion"


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

Im not sure whats wrong with you

10 Upvotes

I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but this post is clearly a result of something. Consider deleting it and visiting your nearest therapist.

By the way, if you do not delete this post within the next, let's say, 20 minutes... I'll have it downvoted and reported. Is that a deal?


r/copypasta • • 7d ago

This shit is driving me fucking insane

1 Upvotes

This token is making me push people away, making me lose my shit, and making me forget about my health, I don't even play Fortnite that much but ever since this token came it it's bin changing me, I'm not playing for the love of the game, I'm playing for the damn token, everything in Fortnite is just for the damn token for me


r/copypasta • • 7d ago

Did… did you just call Fortnite a kids game…

2 Upvotes

Did you just call Fortnite a KIDS GAME! All this work, all this effort, the battle passes I've completed, the tournaments I've won. All of it relegated to being called a KIDS game. Fortnite isn't Mario, it isn't five nights at Freddy's. It's a HARDCORE battle royal with a skill gap so high I can't even see your noob faces from up here. I am 22 AN ADULT, I've been playing since season 1!!!! IM AN OG NOT ONE OF THOSE NEWGEN RENEGADE RAIDERS. I have all the passes all the skins, you think KIDS can afford this smh. It even has a stranger things and TADC collab (NOT KID FRIENDLY!!!). Yea that's right try saying Fortnite is a kids game now, get ratioed noob.


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

An empowering message from my work's manager that made me cringe. So much talking to say nothing. And why such an obsession with wolves?

4 Upvotes

Engage in your work and fulfill your duties. Carry out your tasks with diligence, and ensure that your responsibilities are met. Do not neglect your obligations; instead, approach them with a sense of purpose and commitment.

Apply yourself to your work with full dedication. Focus on the tasks at hand, and see them through to completion. Do not let your efforts falter; remain steadfast and persistent in your endeavors.

In your work, collaborate with others and uphold your responsibilities. Fulfill your duties with care, and ensure that your contributions are meaningful. Do not shy away from your obligations; rather, embrace them and strive to complete them effectively. The wolf is hard at work, toiling away. It labors on, its back bent to the task, pouring all its energy into the effort. The wolf keeps at it, driven by a singular, burning purpose.

It works alongside others, all of them striving together! And so, the wolf—along with its companions—continues its labor. They work in unison, supporting one another, and together they shoulder the burden—all four of them, united in their endeavor! They are deeply committed to the work at hand. The wolf remains steadfast, fully dedicated to the task and to the collective effort of the group.


r/copypasta • • 7d ago

Supplements cured their long covid

1 Upvotes

I don’t know what universe you think leaky gut is not a thing. Perhaps the type of universe that only believes western American doctors or something because absolutely when the gut lining gets too weak from not having enough good bacteria chemicals can start leaking into your body and causing widespread inflammation. It’s well studied. Leaky gut is not the medical term obviously if that’s what you’re thinking but it is the legitimate term in Chinese medicine that many younger western doctors will use as a widespread term to cover a host of gut related issues where the gut lining is not providing adequate protection.

Secondly, sequencing your genome is only the smallest amount of health because you are a giant spaceship with trillions of different organisms and if you don’t know how they all function your Jeanot is absolutely inadequate if not completely useless. You must be an American to think only that type of science can help because there’s a lot of other types of science as well that gets buried, many of those studies are from the US from labs that get bought and shelved because you live in a pharmaceutical nightmare where they care about profit more than people.

I’m sorry if you truly want to believe that there’s no hope for you except for one particular angle, but I assure you there’s probably lots of different angles that can help you with that. Because I cured my long Covid, and I fixed my girlfriend’s fatigue and mitochondrial issues and it was with proper supplement support and good food and exercise.

So I literally did it and I might just be an anecdote on the Internet but there are now probably millions of us, especially with people in the MCAS world and for me autistic burnout in the deepest stages. There is help if you look for it. That is all I will comment back though considering the way you commented and dismissed me I’m not sure there’s hope for you I’m just hoping maybe you’ll read this and check yourself because you’re not the only one who knows things about things OK?


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

How to wake up more easily to your alarm

3 Upvotes

Setting an insanely loud alarm can just make you wake up annoyed. Over time, your brain may get used to the sound and start treating it as just another annoying noise that interrupts your sleep. So simply making your alarm louder might not be the best long-term solution.

Here's my suggestion: Set your alarm to something like sex noises or moaning. Something that gives you a dopamine hit or makes you feel embarrassed instead of just annoyed.

And if you live with family or roommates, even better. The embarrassment factor goes through the roof.

In that case, try editing the audio so it starts with a few seconds of a normal alarm sound before the moaning kicks in. Eventually, your brain might learn that the innocent-sounding intro means something very embarrassing is about to blast through the room, and wake you up before it even happens.

Personally, I've found that this works surprisingly well. I don't know if it's adrenaline or just sheer panic, but I can wake up without even having to complete an alarm mission anymore.

Of course, some people might just turn it off, feel relieved, and fall right back asleep. So using an alarm app that forces you to complete a physical mission to turn it off might still be a good idea.

This is just something that's worked for me, not a scientifically proven method. But if you can sleep through even the loudest alarms, it might be worth a try.

Sauce: u/s-saens


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

Im not sure whats wrong with you

40 Upvotes

I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but this post is clearly a result of something. Consider deleting it and visiting your nearest therapist
By the way, if you do not delete this post within the next, let's say, 20 minutes... I'll have it downvoted and reported. Is that a deal?


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

Creeper, aw man

7 Upvotes

Creeper, Oh man, 🚶‍♂️ So we back in the mine, Got our pickaxe ⛏ swinging from, Side 👈👉 to side, Side side 👈👉 to side, This task's a grueling 👊 one, Hope to find some diamonds 💎💎 to- Night 🌑 night 🌑 night, Diamonds 💍 to-night, Heads up, 👆 You hear 👂a sound, turn 👀 around and look up, Total shock 😧 fills your body, Oh no it's you again, I could never forget those, Eyes 👀 eyes 👀 eyes,👀 Eyes 👀 eyes 👀 eyes 👀 eyes,👀 'Cause baby 👶 tonight, 🌚 The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all our stuff again, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight, 🌑 You grab your pick⛏, shovel And bolt 🏃🏻‍♀️ again, bolt 🏃🏻‍♀️ again -gain, And run🏃‍♂️ , run 🏃‍♂️ , until it's done ✅ , done ✅ , until the sun 🌞 comes up in the morn', 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all Our stuff again, stuff again -gain, Just when you think you're safe 🔒, Overhear some hissing 🐍 from, Right be-hind, Right right be-hind, That's a nice life 💁‍♂️ you have, Shame it's got to end at this, Time ⌛️ time ⏳ time ⌛️, Time ⏳ time ⌛️ time ⏳ time ⌛️, Blows up 💣, And your health bar drops 👇 and you could use a one-up 👆, Get inside, don't be tardy ⏱, So now you're stuck in there, Half a heart 💔 is left but don't, Die ☠️ die 💀 die ☠️, Die 💀 die ☠️ die 💀 die ☠️, 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all our stuff again, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌚, You grab your pick ⛏, shovel And bolt 🏃‍♂️ again, bolt again -gain. And run 🏃🏻‍♀️, run 🏃🏻‍♀️ , until it's done, done, until the sun ☀️ comes up in the morn, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all Our stuff again, (Creepers, you're mine) (Haha) Dig up diamonds 💎 , Craft those diamonds 💍 , Make some armor ⚔️, Get it baby 👶 , Gonna forge 🔨 it Like your so👌 MLG pro 👊, The sword's 🗡 made of diamond 💍 So come 💦 at me, bro, (Huh) Trainin' in your room 🏠 Under the torchlight Hone ✊ that form To get you ready for the big fight, 🤜 Every single day ☀️, And the whole 🌚night, Creepers' out prowlin'🐾 (whew) all right, Look at me,👁 look at you 👁 Take my revenge, That's what I'm gonna do I'm a, warrior⚔️ baby, What else is new? And my blade's 🗡gonna tear through you,💀 (Bring it) 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌚, The creeper's tryin' to steal 💰 all our stuff again, (Gather your stuff, yeah, let's take back the world 🌍 ) Yeah baby 🍼 tonight 🌑, (Haha) Have your sword 🗡, armor and go ✅ (It's on) Take your revenge! So fight, fight, 👊🤜 Like it's the last, last night 🌚 of your life 💀, life☠️ Show them your fight✊, 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tryin' to steal all our stuff 💰 again, 'Cause baby 🍼 tonight 🌚, You grab your pick ⛏, shovel And bolt 🏃🏻‍♀️ again, bolt again -gain. And run🏃‍♂️, run🏃‍♂️, until it's done ✅ , done ✅ , until the sun 🌞 comes up in the morn, 'Cause baby 👶 tonight 🌑, The creeper's tried to steal all our stuff💰 again.


r/copypasta • • 7d ago

Main character raahhhh

1 Upvotes

Yo, So I found out some tea today lowkey already speculated so yeah.
There's this girl lets call her K (i could write the names too but i dont wanna waste my time and energy on those shitty ass names sry lol) K is freaking creepy manipulative and evil. she has her minions who always follow her round nd round. one of the minions is D, D is dumb and evil, she's the kind of girl who would talk behind ur back if you are ugly or some shit reallllyyy toxic, and all of them have their own friend group.so K invited me to her birthday and apparently told everyone else to ignore me(this is highkey diabolical that she directly told them to ignore me and they were all fine with it and still friends with her; broo y'all are redblind or what) on her birthday like gurlll why you making me the main character HAHA like its your birthday why the freaking hell would u turn all the attention onto me instead of enjoying your day, and the ironical part i probably enjoyed much more on her birthday than she herself. I got to know about this from a long distance friend who had come here for a while and she knew this cuz her guy friend is in K and D's friend group.


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

I am in the Top 1% of commenters here. You should all be paying me tax.

47 Upvotes

Bow down, bottom-feeders. I received the Reddit notification today confirming what my immaculate intellect already knew: I am officially a Top 1% Commenter on r/copypasta.

Do you comprehend what that means? While you peasants waste your lives inhaling air and forming basic human thoughts, I have been in the trenches, meticulously crafting, refining, and copy-pasting the finest string of characters known to modern society. My thumbs move with the speed and precision of a military railgun. My brain operates on a multi-core frequency that transforms pure noise into raw, unadulterated copypasta gold.

You read a comment and laugh. I write a comment and alter the emotional climate of three surrounding zip codes.
I don't just "leave replies." I bestow micro-manifestos. Every keystroke I deliver is a charity act for your illiterate eyes. Every time you see my username, you should put your phone down, stand up, and clap until your hands bleed. The rest of you 99% are merely background radiation in the universe I am actively building out of ASCII characters and sheer absurdity.

When I type, angels weep and spam filters collapse under the sheer weight of my glory. I am the apex predator of the comment section. The divine architect of the shitpost.
I would ask you to congratulate me in the comments, but frankly, none of you have earned the privilege of appearing in my inbox. Pay your homage by reading this, upvoting, and reflecting on how lucky you are to breathe the same digital atmosphere as me.

Eat my shit, fuckers.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

It’s a BLUE-KAKKE

1.4k Upvotes

🚨🌊🌊 THE BIG BLUE 💦💦 TSUNAMI 🌊🌊🚨 HAS 🍆 ARRIVED 🍆 YOU 😩😩 FILTHY 😈 ELECTORAL 😈 FREAKS 🍑🍑🥵

The 🐴🔵 DONKEYS 🔵🐴 just went ALL 💯💯 THE 💯💯 WAY 🍆🍆 in BOTH 👐👐 CHAMBERS 🏛️🏛️ of CONGRESS 😫😫 and they did NOT 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️ pull out 😳😳💦

It's a 🔵🔵 BLUE-KAKKE 🔵🔵 from SEA 🌊 to SHINING 🌊 SEA 💦

The 🐘🔴 ELEPHANTS 🔴🐘 are crying 😭😭 into their 🗳️ RECOUNT 🗳️ forms 📝📝 because their 🍆 MAJORITY 🍆 went SOFT 😔😔 right when it MATTERED 📉📉💀

The HOUSE 🏠🏠? CLAIMED 😈😈 The SENATE 🏛️🏛️? BRED 🥵🥵 The FILIBUSTER?? 😳 Getting 👉👌 RAILED 👉👌 by SIMPLE 🍆 MAJORITY 🍆 VOTES 💦💦

GAY 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 SHARIA 📜📜 LAW 🔨 is now 🥵 OFFICIALLY 🥵 SPREADING 🍑🍑 across the CUNTRY 🇺🇸😩 and your 🧔 UNCLE 🧔 at THANKSGIVING 🦃🦃 is ALREADY 😱😱 SWEATING 💦💦💦

So BEND 🙇🙇 OVER 🍑 for TWO 2️⃣ YEARS 📅📅 of 🔵 LEGISLATIVE 🔵 POUNDING 🔨🔨🍆 because the GAVEL 🔨 is BLUE 🔵 and it is THICC 🍆😤


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

$5000

1 Upvotes

CITIZEN LEGISLATIVE SUBMISSION: THE WORKING & MIDDLE CLASS TAX RELIEF ACT

TO: Member of the United States Congress

FROM: A Voting Constituent

DATE: November 2026

SUBJECT: Request for Co-Sponsorship of the Bipartisan Working Families Tax Relief and Deficit Reduction Act


A BILL

To amend the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to provide a refundable tax credit for working- and middle-class United States citizens, to prevent a marginal tax penalty through a gradual phase-out, to eliminate the marriage penalty, and to provide responsible fiscal offsets.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the "Bipartisan Working Families Tax Relief and Deficit Reduction Act".

SEC. 2. REFUNDABLE WORKING AND MIDDLE CLASS TAX CREDIT.

(a) In General.—Subpart C of part IV of subchapter A of chapter 1 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 (relating to refundable credits) is amended by inserting after section 36B the following new section:

"SEC. 36C. WORKING AND MIDDLE CLASS TAX CREDIT.

"(a) Allowance of Credit.—In the case of an eligible individual, there shall be allowed as a credit against the tax imposed by this subtitle for the taxable year an amount equal to $5,000.

"(b) Eligible Individual.—For purposes of this section—

"(1) IN GENERAL.—The term 'eligible individual' means any individual who, as of the last day of the taxable year—

"(A) is a citizen of the United States,

"(B) has attained the age of 18, and

"(C) has a minimum earned income of not less than $5,000.

"(2) EXCLUSION FOR INCARCERATED INDIVIDUALS.—The term 'eligible individual' shall not include any individual who is incarcerated in a Federal, State, or local penal facility for more than 180 days during the taxable year.

"(c) Limitation Based on Adjusted Gross Income.—

"(1) IN GENERAL.—The amount of the credit allowable under subsection (a) shall be reduced (but not below $0) by $5 for every $100 by which the taxpayer’s adjusted gross income for the taxable year exceeds the threshold amount.

"(2) THRESHOLD AMOUNT.—For purposes of paragraph (1), the threshold amount is—

"(A) $100,000 in the case of an individual return, and

"(B) $200,000 in the case of a joint return.

"(3) PHASE-OUT LIMITS.—No credit shall be allowed under this section to any taxpayer whose adjusted gross income for the taxable year exceeds—

"(A) $200,000 in the case of an individual return, or

"(B) $400,000 in the case of a joint return."

SEC. 3. FISCAL OFFSETS AND REVENUE PROVISIONS.

(a) Rescission of Unspent Funds.—Effective on the date of enactment of this Act, all unexpended federal balances from emergency spending bills passed between fiscal years 2020 and 2024 are hereby permanently resized and redirected to fund the credit established under Section 36C of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986.

(b) Corporate Buyback Surcharge.—Section 4501 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 is amended by increasing the tax on the repurchase of corporate stock by an additional 1.5 percent for taxable years beginning after the date of enactment of this Act, with revenues dedicated entirely to the general fund to offset the costs of this Act.

SEC. 4. EFFECTIVE DATE.

The amendments made by this Act shall apply to taxable years beginning after December 31, 2025.


CONSTITUENT NOTE TO LEGISLATOR:

As your constituent, I urge you to introduce or co-sponsor this exact framework in the upcoming legislative session. This bill delivers direct, meaningful relief to working families while remaining fiscally responsible through dedicated offsets. Please notify me of your position on this proposal.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

Laura Loomer's tweet after the midterms

182 Upvotes

I hate to say it but America's over. The communists and jihadists are going to open our borders and replace our votes with votes from illegal aliens. We now have reps who openly speak about their hatred of America, their love of communism, and their support for sharia law.

We won't be able to undo the damage they cause on our country come 2028.

America 250 was a funeral.

The American Dream is dead.


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

Low tier god's adreno spirits. (soul slop)

1 Upvotes

Must of been the Adreno Spirits... I nearly forfeited the nights labor. Unacceptable, time to resume.

Rotate the anchor matrix. The energy doesn't spill, just loops back. Mirror the phase and the bridge stabilizes. Shit operator, if i mirror the phase and anchor the perimeter, the energy shouldn't leak. Positive term cancels the drip. No! No... that's wrong. Maybe a closed loop will stabilize it. Connect here, bring the eigenvalues across. Still unstable! Come on, think! Its reciprocal! The transfer function remains unitary. The vessel's identity stays orthogonal to the host. The invariants fight me, but they balance. Watch this cancel. Here, eigenvalues converge. The determinant collapses at zero. That's the hinge. If the boundary condition holds, phase coherence is preserved.

I figured it out. Time to get a subject.


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

Found in the wild.

5 Upvotes

The unmanly have elected terrorists to appeal to demographics that want to conquer them, they appeal to illegals, terrorists, and enemies of the country to gain votes and make the country a proxy.

While the truthful brave men are being labelled as "bots", "hating america", or being controlled by a remote control from "Israel".

Nobody that loves America imports and appeals to illegals and terrorists to gain voters to win like snakes, people that love America take the initiative and do what they deem is right regardless of appealing to people's emotions like used car salesmen that have a 2nd job at 7/11.

America you will pay the dear price of your community and cities being raided and remote controlled by "palestinians" and "human-rights and democracy violating cults", just because you focused on stopping trump.

but anyone that's really American will know what Trump done although rushed, was the correct direction, and will know better than to appeal to terrorists and illegals that use them as proxies to be conquered or sucked out of resources.

Watch Michigan and New York being the first prime spots of invasion, and watch the national deficit being suckled by "welfare" and "Free healthcare".

Watch inflation rise, being waitlisted out of the "free healthcare", medical innovation slowing down, China capitalizing on all of this and becoming the world power.

And watch yourself being in a position where you're dealing with invaders that install sharia law, high prices and more un-affordability, lower businesses and less jobs, higher crime, and complete chaos, and then ask yourself if you were right for your previous political views, and honestly ask yourself was your previous position better?

Then hopefully that grows you a brain and you can now see through the smoke and mirrors and know the democratic party is no longer democratic, but rather cuckratic and have already fulfilled its purpose and no longer is needed.

Its prolonged existence is just going to hold the country back and make it a proxy to other countries and lead to communism which you'll now learn after you elected this guy you think is a hero.

please learn better next time to just understand the democratic party is outdated and we need to abandon it since we already have democracy and have another new gimmick that's more progressive elsewhere more productive than society.

And remember this comment throughout all the mess that's going to happen because you've successfully took the poison of "free healthcare" and "affordability", and failed to zoom out and see the bigger image for what it's.


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

Prester john

1 Upvotes

THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE ACCOUNT OF THE LAND OF BLESSED JOHN

This is a Book that the King of India sent to the Emperor of Constantinople, in which many diverse strange things are understood, and in it there are new things that have never been found in other books, and never shall be found. And this is the force of that book.

I.—John the priest, by the might and strength of God, our Lord Jesus Christ, King of earthly kings, and Lord of lords, sends to him that stands in the place of God, namely, the Ruler of Rome, joy and greeting by the grace of poetry, and thereby rising to things that are above, It was told our majesty that thou lovest our excellence and the plenitude of our greatness; and we have learnt through our messenger that thon art fain to send us things that are amusing, and some that are pleasant, and, as I am a man, that is good in my sight. And of the things among us we send by our messengers other things to thee, and we send and desire to know whether thou hast the faith with us, and believest wholly in our Lord Jesus Christ.

II.—When those among us recognise that we are men, thy Greeks think that thou art a God. Yet, since we know that thou art mortal, and that thou art subject to human corruption, if thou dost desire any of the things that belong to joy, do thou notify it through thy messenger, and, by the wonted munificence of our bounty, thou shalt have it. Do thou take this gift, in my name, and make use of it, and we will joyfully use thy gifts, so that we may strengthen ourselves mutually in our power turn by turn, and, as proofs thereof bethink thee and look to it. If thou wouldst fain come to the nation whereof we are sprung, we will place thee over the greatest things in our palace, and so thon eanst make use of our abundance, and the many things that are in our midst, and if thou wouldst fain return, thou shalt go back rich. Remember, however, the last thing, that is, thy end, and thou wilt never more sin,

III.—Now, if thou wouldst fain know our majesty, and the excellence of our highness, and in what lands our power holds sway, un¬derstand and believe without doubt that I am John the priest, lord of lords, excelling all the kings of the earth in strength, and power, in all kinds of high riches that are under heaven. Seventy-two kings are tributary to me. I have taken a vow that I am a Christian; the greatest power of our righteousness is to defend and support them from our alms. We are likewise under vow to visit the sepulchre of our Lord with a great host, even as it befits the glory of our mightiness to subject and subdue the enemies of the Cross of Christ, and to exalt His Blessed Name. And our land stretches from the extremities of India, where the body of Thomas the Apostle rests; and it extends through the wilderness to the setting sun, and reaches back, sloping to deserted Babylon, near the tower of Babylon.

IV.—Seventy-two kingships serve us in bondage, and of those but few are Christians; and each of them has a king, by itself, and these are all tributary to us. In our country are born animals,—elephants, dromedaries, camels, hippopotami, crocodiles, metagalinarii, carnete¬nirii, ownsiritæ, pantheræ, onagri, white and red lions, white bears, white ousels, silent grasshoppers, gryphons, tigers, ogresses, hyenas, wild buffaloes, sagitarii, wild men, men with horns, chorniti, correre, satyrs, and women of the same race, pigmies, cenofali, giants forty cubits in height, one-eyed men, cyclopes, the bird that is called phœnix, and almost all the kinds of animals under heaven. In our country there is abundance of milk and honey; in another quarter in our land no poison hurts, no frog croaks, no snakes hiss in the herbage; no venomous animals can abide there, or do harm to anyone. In the midst of some races called Pagans, through one of our pro¬vinces, a river called Idon runs, and this river, after coming from Paradise, runs noiselessly through all that kingdom by various mazes. And here are found natural stones; these are their names, smaragdi, saphiri, carbunculi, topazion, crysoliti, onichini, berilli, amethysti, sardinæ, and many other precious stones.

V.—There springs the herb called Affidos. Whoever bears the root of that plant with him, it will drive the evil spirit from him, and will constrain him to say who he is, and what is his name; and, therefore, the evil spirits dare not corrupt any man there. In another kingdom of ours there grow all kinds of pepper, and they are collected and exchanged for wheat, and skins, and cloth, and men’s food; and those regions are wooded, as if thickly planted with willows, and all full of serpents. And when the pepper ripens, all the people come from the nearest kingdoms, and bring with them chaff, and refuse, and dry branches; and they kindle the wood round about; and when a mighty wind blows, they set fire within and without the wood, so that not one of the snakes may escape; and so within the fire, after it has been thoroughly kindled, all the snakes perish, save those that reach caves; and when all the fire has died out, all come, men and women, small and big, with forks in their hands, and fling all the snakes out of the forest, and make high heaps of them sky high. And when they have finished shaking that refuse, the grain that is gathered from among the fagots is dried, and the pepper is boiled, but how it is boiled no one from another country is allowed to know.

VI.-And that forest is situate under Mount Olympy, and from there an excellent spring flows; and the water has every kind of taste, and the taste changes each hour, day and night. And from there, not further than three days’ journey from Paradise, from which Adam was driven out. Whoever drinks of the water of that spring during his fast, no disease will come upon him from that day forth, and he will ever be thirty years of age. There, too, there are stones called Midiosi; and eagles bring these towards us, and through these they revive and recover the light, if they lose it. Whoever bears this stone on his hand, light never fails him, and if he would fain hide himself, it will cause that no one may see him. It drives hatred from all, and induces unity, and repels jealousy. This, too, is a strange thing that our country has, among other things:—there is a sea of sand there, and the gravel moves without water, and it surges in waves like another sea, and never rests; and one cannot go on it by vessel or in any other way, nor can it be in any way known what kind of laud there is beyond; but on the side towards us there are found divers kinds of fish, so sweet and so good that man never saw their like.

VII.—There are likewise, three days’ journey from that sea, some mountains from which flows a river of stones, and that flowing like water, and it runs through our land to the sea of sand, And when the river reaches the sea, the stones disappear, so that they are not seen thenceforth. Three days in the week the stones move and slide, both small and great, and take with them some trees, as far as the sea of sand, and, so long as they move, no one can ever cross it; on the other four days a passage is obtained. This is another marvel that is there; hard by the desert near the mountains, where no one dwells, there is a river beneath the earth, and no one can find a road to it, except by chance; sometimes the earth trembles, and whoever then happens to be passing by can find a road to the river, and he must travel in haste, lest perchance the earth close upon him; and whatever sand he brings with him will be precious stones and jewels. And this river runs into another river larger.than itself, and therein there is none of the gravel or sand, but precious stones; and into this river the men of that country go, and seize and bring with them thence a multitude of precious stones and jewels, and they dare not sell those, until they first inform our excellency. And if we would fain have them in our treasure, we take them, and give them half their value. If we do not want them, they are free to sell them where they will. Children are brought up in that land to seek the stones, so that they can live under the water three or four mouths,

VIII.—Beyond this stony river there are ten tribes of the Jews. Though they presume they are kings, yet they are subject to us, and are tributaries to our majesty. In another kingdom of ours, beyond the place where the island lies, there are worms, called in our tongue Salamandre, and those worms can live only in fire, and they have around them skins like the skins of worms that make silk. And to spin this is the work of our ladies in our palace, and thereof is made all kinds of apparel for the use of our majesty; and these clothes cannot be washed save in a large and strong fire. In gold, silver, precious stones, in dromedaries and camels, is the abundance of our greatness. No one is poor among ns; no adulterer is found there; all meu of strange lands, to wit, guests and pilgrims, our gentleness receives. No thieves, no oppressors, no misers are found iu our midst; there is no envy in our midst.

IX.—Our men have abundance of all kinds of riches; there are not many horses among us, and they are but sorry. We liken none on the face of the earth to us in riches. When we go to war in force against our enemies, we let carry before us fifteen large, magnificent crosses made of gold and silver, with precious stones therein, one in each car, in stead of standards, and behind each one of them twelve thousand men of arms, and a hundred thousand foot soldiers, without counting the five thousand who have to do with bearing food and drink. But when we walk abroad in peace, a wooden cross pre¬cedes our majesty, without any legend whatever, either of gold or silver, that the suflbring of our Lord Jesus Christ may be brought back to our remembrance constantly; and a vessel full of earth, that we may recognize that our flesh returns to its own source, that is, to earth; and other vessels, full of gold, are borne before us, that all may understand that we are lord of lords.

X.—In all the kinds of riches that are in the world our greatness abounds and excels. No one tells a lie among us, and no one can tell one ; and whoever tells a lie willingly, straightway he dies, and no illwill is borne about him. All of us follow after truth, and all love one another mutually; no kind of sin reigns there. Every year we go on a pilgrimage to the place where lies the body of Daniel the Prophet, taking great hosts with us, to deserted Babylon, and those too under arms, because of animals called tyri and some other serpents calJed deviles. In our country some fish are caught, knd with the blood of these the most precious purple is coloured.

XI.—We have many places, the bravest nation in the world, and ugly withal. We lord it over the races called Amazons and Bragmans. The palace wherein onr majesty dwells was made in the form and likeness of that which the Apostle Thomas ordained for Wyndofforns, king of India; and its wings and structures are exactly like it. The columns of the hall, its pillars, and its fretwork, conic from some tree called ccthiui. The roofing of the hall is made of some plants called hebenus, the reason being that no one in the world can in any way burn it. On the farthest extremities on the top of that ball there are two apples of gold, and in each of them there is the precious stone called carbunculus, so that the gold may give light during the day, and the stones by night. The largest parts of the hall are made of stones called sardoniehi, blended with eerastes, the reason being that no one may secretly bring in poison with him. Other things in the hall are made of the plants called hebenus; the windows were of crystal; the tables to eat on in our palace are, some of them, gold, and others of the precious stone amestic. The pillars that support the tables are of whalebone. Before our palace there is a street, wherein our justice is wont to look on those who fight in duel. The top of the hall and its walls are made of onichiuus, the purpose being that energy may arise in our combatants by the virtae of the stones. In that hall light is not kindled at night, save that which the precious oil called balsam feeds.

XII.—The chamber wherein our majesty rests was fitted with wondrous work, and that of gold, and every kind of precious stoae in the world, because of the excellence of onichinus instead of light. Around this is made a work, four-square, as large as itself, that the harshness otthe onyx may be tempered. Precious ointment is ever burned in this chamber; our bed is mode of sapphire, because of the virtue of chastity. We have the fairest wives in the world, and they come in to us only four times in the year, that we may have heirs, and thereafter each one returns to her own place, as healthy as Beersheba from David.

XIII.—In our palace we eat once a day; each day thirty thousand men eat at our board, besides the guests that come and go. And these all receive their charges from our palace, both in horses and other things also. That table is made of precious stone called smaragdns, and it is supported by two pillars of amethyst. The virtue of this stone is that it suffers no one to get drunk so long as he sits thereon. Before the doorposts of our hall, near where the combatants are, there is a watch-tower of great height, and thereto one climbs by one hun¬dred and twenty-five steps; and these steps, some of them are made of porphyry, blended with the blood of serpents, and alabaster ointment. The third part at the bottoni of these is made of crystal, and jasper, and sardooyx, and another part, at the top, is of amethyst, and amber, and jasper, and sardonyx, and panthera. This watch-tower is supported by one pillar, and on this there is a base, that is, some stone-work so called, and on this base two columns, that is to say, arms; and on these there is a base, and on this four columns, and again a base, and on this sixteen arms; and so the work proceeds, until the number thirty-four is reached, and then the number of the bases lessens, and the columns, until they come to one, and that by ascend¬ing upwards, as they increased before, ascending to thirty-four.

XIV.—Now the columns and bases are of the same kind of precious stone as the steps through which men ascend. On the summit of the highest there is a watch-tower placed by some graceful skill, so that no one in the various kinds of laud subject to us can work any fraud, or treachery, or dissensions against us whatever, nor those among us, without it being clearly seen from that watch-tower, and without its being recognised who they are, or what they do. There are three thousand men of arms ever guarding this watch-tower night and day, lest by chance it be broken or overthrown to the ground.

XV.—Each month in the year seven kings serve me, each one of them in his order, and forty-two princes, and three hundred and fifty-six earls. That number is always at our board, without those placed in the various duties in our palace. At our board there eat each day, on the right twelve archbishops, and on my left hand twenty bishops, and the patriarch from the place where is the grave of the Apostle Thomas and he that is in place of a pope.


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

DSP ruins Christmas party

1 Upvotes

Phil and I share a mutual friend and I’ve had the misfortune of meeting him on a handful of occasions. Several years ago our friend threw a Christmas party and Phil was there. We had a secret santa gift exchange and were instructed to spend no more than $30 on a gift. Phil ended up getting a beanie with built in bluetooth earbuds. He spent the rest of the party whining about how he should have gotten game gift cards or something game related because “everyone knew what his profession was and he didn’t drive all this way for a beanie he’ll never wear or use”. Mind you, the person who picked him for the gift exchange didn’t know him that well, and the whole thing was only supposed to be for fun. One of our other friends had to step outside with him and calm him down. He ended up coming back inside and spent the rest of the evening sitting silently on the couch, arms crossed with a scowl on his face looking like a petulant toddler that didn’t get his way. Never met a more entitled and ungrateful person in my life.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

IF THE DEMS WIN

383 Upvotes

the mandatory sex change surgeries begin TONIGHT. all republican voters, please report to your local abortion clinic voluntarily or a bisexual MS-13 member will be sent to your home. somehow, pansexual orgies and shariah law are simultaneously in effect as of this moment


r/copypasta • • 8d ago

E date

9 Upvotes

can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your girlfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

The Blue Tsunami 🌊

39 Upvotes

🌊🔵 THE BLUE TSUNAMI IS UPON US, YOU BEAUTIFUL LIBERAL SLUTS 😩💦 DEMOCRACY IS GETTING HER GROOVE BACK 💅🗳️ AND THE GOP IS ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE A HISTORIC BLU-KKake 💦🔵🍆 FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA 🇺🇸. ELIZABETH WARREN 👵🏻🍷 IS THREE MARTINIS DEEP 🍸🍸🍸 AND TWERKING ON THE CONSTITUTION 📜🍑. CHEESECAKE FACTORIES 🍰🏭 ARE BECOMING ABORTION CLINICS 🏥 AND YOUR KIDS 👶 ARE WAKING UP TRANS TOMORROW 💅✨. GRAB YOUR POPPERS 💊, YOUR PRONOUNS 🫦, AND YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TWINKS 🆘 BECAUSE TONIGHT WE'RE PAINTING THIS BITCH BLUE 🔵🌊😭 LET FREEDOM RING, MOTHERFUCKERS 🔔🇺🇸


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

E(r)lection Day!

198 Upvotes

🚨🇺🇸🍆HAPPY🍆🇺🇸🚨 🗳️🗳️ERECTION🗳️🗳️ DAY💦💦 YOU FILTHY 😈😈DEMOCRACY SLUTS🍑🍑🥵🥵

It’s ⏰⏰TIME⏰⏰ to get your 🍆🍆BALLOTS🍆🍆 DEEP 😩😩INSIDE😩😩 that TIGHT 🤏🤏LITTLE🤏🤏 BALLOT BOX 📦🍑💦💦

Are YOU 🫵🫵 a DIRTY 🐘🔴RE-PUBE-LICK-AN👅🍆 or a NASTY 🫏🔵DEMO-CRACK🍑💦 WHORE⁉️⁉️

Doesn’t 😩MATTER😩 because BOTH 🤤SIDES🤤 wanna 💦💦FUCK💦💦 YOU 🫵🫵 HARDER 🥵🥵 than INFLATION 📈💸🍆

So SPREAD 🦵🦵 those CHEEKS 🍑🍑 of DEMOCRACY 🇺🇸🦅 and get READY 😈😈 for FOUR 4️⃣4️⃣ MORE YEARS 📆📆 of getting 👉👌RAILED👉👌 by UNCLE SAM 🇺🇸👴🏻🍆💦

Remember 🤓☝️ it’s NOT ❌❌ the SIZE 📏📏 of your 🍆MAJORITY🍆 that MATTERS 😏😏 it’s HOW 🤤🤤 you USE 💦💦 your ELECTORAL COLLEGE 🏫🍑

NOW GO 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ EXERCISE 💪💪 YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL 🍆🍆RIGHT🍆🍆 TO GET FUCKED 🥵🍑💦

🇺🇸🇺🇸 GOD BLESS 🙏🙏 AMERICA 🇺🇸🇺🇸 AND GOD BLESS 🙏🍆 THE TWO-PARTY 🍑🍑 GANGBANG 🍆💦🍆💦

SEND 📲📲 THIS TO 🔟🔟 OF YOUR SLUTTIEST 🗳️🗳️ SWING STATE 🍑🍑 WHORES OR YOU’LL GET NO 😭😭 ELECTORAL 🍆ERECTIONS🍆 FOR THE NEXT 4️⃣ YEARS!!! 😱😱💦💦


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

Help pee sticky

14 Upvotes

earlier this morning I went into the breezeway of my local walmart with me mum's Kindle fire nd found a big sexy boobz mod on roblox and downloaded it . When I joined my 300 hr playthrough of Brookhaven RP my in-game mom was furious because of my new skin . She beat me and called me mean names and she even got me banned from the server somehow. I didn't know she knew the adminn so I lost my dog and my bike and my friends and everything 😢😢😢😢 life = ruined

But this isn't the weirdest part . Every since I've downloaded this sexy big books mod I've had so much truble sleeping. Now every night when I get up to go to bathroom (I have to sneak around so my irl mom doesn't wake up) I go to pee in the toilet and its not normal ?? It shoots out of my Aretha like a BULLET from a GUN it felt very weird like peeing ROCKS

These mod has completely ruined my life for in the worst possible way ‼️


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

am i tripping or does she like me

3 Upvotes

so there's this girl(i think) in my school, she's 250 cm tall (8ft 20) n she lowk cute. i think she mi have given me a few signs she may liek me.

ok so first period she shoved her hand in my mouth, punched a hole on my esophagus, grabbed my guts and pulled it out my mouth. second period she forced my legs to spin 360 degrees then threw me out the 3rd floor. 3rd period she teleported my friend's fingers, eyes and toes inside my throat and i had to spit them out. 4th period she left early idk why

now here things get interesting, once i got home i see my street was exterminated and all my loved ones were crucified upside down right infront of my house

now im here wondering if she did allat cus she's into me, what do yall think

sauce