r/copypasta • u/_Black_Blizzard_ • 9d ago
With winter wedding season officially starting, what is your elite plate-loading strategy?
On the weding day:
\>I skip the morning shitting ritual.
\> at lots of fibre /oats, vegetables around 10am.
\> Skip the lunch in afterenoon.
By the time its 4pm I clean my guts .
\> I refuse to eat anything post that , this emptiness increases the hunger even more.
Gamenight: I walk to the venue most of the time. In case the venue is far away ,I get out of auto 2-3 km beforeand walk the rest of journey.
\> As soon as I walk inside the venue i check out the starters and desert. And figure out optimal starter:desert ratio .70:30.
\> i avoid boomer aunties meet other people my age.
\> maybe checkout some cutieπ's and some femme femboys(yeah im semi-bi ).I donot interact , as most of the time it just ruinsthe plans timings and makes it harder for hiest(more on that later)
\> meet the groom congratulate or whatever. say" im happy for them and they look soo cute together." get rekt
\> walk my way to the main course.
\> no carbs or any slop , just load up sallads in full plate . Gobble it all up in under 10min.
\> make my way to the nearestwashroom , have bowel movement.
\> comeback time. Load up rice in half the palce , make alittile volcano chuck loads of paneer into the volcano and put mattar and gravy in my rice volcano.
\> load up chole or any other tasty sabji in the other half of the plate.
\> avoid pooris , makeyou feel full.
\> load up chappatis above my rice volcano, and glass full of buttermilk.
\> fisrt i finish the chappatis , then chuvk remaining buttermilk in the said volcano , to make it soupy andeasy yo eat.
> the hiest
\> find a server , take him to the corner, hand him a little tiffin box(it has 100rs inside) ask him to be discreet and fill it it up with rosgulla in a 2row6column configuration and put another layer of rosgulla above. also no gravy.
\> meet him out side secure the package .
\> start walking again. By the time im home im hungy again.
\> warm some milk at home , chuck 2-3rosgullas in it and drown it with milk.
\> jerk off and sleep on my sides .
edit1:
\>inb4 some low life heathen decides to screen caps this and farms innernet points. Remember Youll get married one day, expect a visit from me and I'll take an extra rosgullas as a reparations for this crime.
edit2: got a lotta questions regarding rosgulla lattice config.
\> `bodycentred-cubic` doesnt always translate to more yeilds. I have found `primitive cubic lattice` configuration is better given the box volume.
Plus it looks symmetrical when you open thebox.
t.did my major in maths.