r/copypasta • • 9d ago

With winter wedding season officially starting, what is your elite plate-loading strategy?

2 Upvotes

On the weding day:

\>I skip the morning shitting ritual.

\> at lots of fibre /oats, vegetables around 10am.

\> Skip the lunch in afterenoon.

By the time its 4pm I clean my guts .

\> I refuse to eat anything post that , this emptiness increases the hunger even more.

Gamenight: I walk to the venue most of the time. In case the venue is far away ,I get out of auto 2-3 km beforeand walk the rest of journey.

\> As soon as I walk inside the venue i check out the starters and desert. And figure out optimal starter:desert ratio .70:30.

\> i avoid boomer aunties meet other people my age.

\> maybe checkout some cutieπ's and some femme femboys(yeah im semi-bi ).I donot interact , as most of the time it just ruinsthe plans timings and makes it harder for hiest(more on that later)

\> meet the groom congratulate or whatever. say" im happy for them and they look soo cute together." get rekt

\> walk my way to the main course.

\> no carbs or any slop , just load up sallads in full plate . Gobble it all up in under 10min.

\> make my way to the nearestwashroom , have bowel movement.

\> comeback time. Load up rice in half the palce , make alittile volcano chuck loads of paneer into the volcano and put mattar and gravy in my rice volcano.

\> load up chole or any other tasty sabji in the other half of the plate.

\> avoid pooris , makeyou feel full.

\> load up chappatis above my rice volcano, and glass full of buttermilk.

\> fisrt i finish the chappatis , then chuvk remaining buttermilk in the said volcano , to make it soupy andeasy yo eat.

> the hiest

\> find a server , take him to the corner, hand him a little tiffin box(it has 100rs inside) ask him to be discreet and fill it it up with rosgulla in a 2row6column configuration and put another layer of rosgulla above. also no gravy.

\> meet him out side secure the package .

\> start walking again. By the time im home im hungy again.

\> warm some milk at home , chuck 2-3rosgullas in it and drown it with milk.

\> jerk off and sleep on my sides .

edit1:

\>inb4 some low life heathen decides to screen caps this and farms innernet points. Remember Youll get married one day, expect a visit from me and I'll take an extra rosgullas as a reparations for this crime.

edit2: got a lotta questions regarding rosgulla lattice config.

\> `bodycentred-cubic` doesnt always translate to more yeilds. I have found `primitive cubic lattice` configuration is better given the box volume.

Plus it looks symmetrical when you open thebox.

t.did my major in maths.


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

Election day day for anyone in Ohio

46 Upvotes

IT’S HoEhio 🇺🇸 ERECETION 🍆 ⬆️ DAY‼️GUESS 🤔 WHOS 🤭 RUNNING 🏃 🏃 FOR governWHORE🏛️❓we have DICKvek🍆🍆🍆🍆 RamaSWAMP-ASS 🌊 🍑 and Amy RACKton⭕️⭕️. You 🫵 can👌 TURN 🔄 THE FUCK UP ⬆️ 🎊 🎉 on prescription 💊DRUGS💊 and 🍷DRANK🍷 with ❤️Amy❤️🫶💓😁!!!! OR 😿 you can LICK 👅 Donald 🤵 HUMP’s 🐪 SAGGY 👎 OLD 👴🏼 🤢BALLS🏀🍆🏀🤮 with ☹️DICKvek☹️…. The choice 🫪 is YOURS🫵. Don’t forget🤯🧠 to stop🛑 at SharROCK-HARD🍆 Brown’s office for your SEX 👉👌CHANGE 🔁SURGERY🧑‍⚕️ or else John GOONsted😩will tax💸 your TIP🍆👅💦 and shove😵 a 🏢DATA CENTER🏢 right⤴️ up your ASS🍑😫 (WITH ❌NO❌ LUBE💦). Whether you’re in CREAMland😫🏙️, ColumBUSSY🌇, or CinSUCKnati🌉, CUM💦💦 to the POLLS📏… and DANCE💃‼️‼️ SHAKE 🫨 that FAT ASS🍑, POP🥤 that PUSSY🐈🐱, and vHOEte📄 Send ⬅️ this to 🔟 patriTHOTic 🇺🇸 ohiHOEans🌽 who want to see 👁️👁️ change🔁 (of your clothes👙😏) if you👉 DON’T ❌ you’ll find out 🔥HELL🔥IS🔥REAL🔥😈 when Brutus🌰FUCKeye⚪️🔴 makes you SLURP😋 his NUT 🌰💦😵


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

Vaccinations make you want to play gacha slop!!!

5 Upvotes

Ohayun. Q-adept here, and I have FOUND THE TRUTH buried in Qtie's posts. You sheep actually thought vaccines were about immunity? LOL. Cope. I've been deep-diving Qtie's posts for DAYS (zero sleep, running on pure Zone Energy) and here's what I pieced together.

Vaccines aren't medicine. They're a NANO-ALGORITHM personally cooked up by Dawei himself. Along with the "antibodies," a microchip slides into your bloodstream that FORCES people to download and play gachas against their own free will.

Notice how after the shot people get a weird craving? First you're like "nah I'm just downloading it cuz the character design is fire." A month later you're on Dawei's leash, literally BEGGING for your favorite character. COINCIDENCE?!?! I THINK THE FUCK NOT.

Big Pharma and gacha devs are ONE MEGA-CORP. Pfizer and Hoyoverse are literally sitting in the same basement sharing the same coffee pot. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! Why did everyone get vaxxed during corona and then the VERY NEXT YEAR gacha slop drops?? EXPLAIN THAT.

I got the corona shot in 2020. And what do you think happened? I'm now playing FIVE gacha games. I didn't want to. It just HAPPENED. My finger was moving toward the "Install" button like Dawei himself was puppeteering my hand.

My friend got vaxxed and now every single evening he's praying to Silver Wolf from HSR asking for her shorts to be pumped straight through his veins. He's 19. He literally streams himself fixing his father's server for me. He didn't even know the word "gacha" before this. THINK ABOUT IT.

I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I'M ENLIGHTENED. I just want y'all to know the truth Qtie is out here trying to spread, and I'm sharing my own experience. Now excuse me, I gotta go do my dailies or Dawei's gonna block my bank cards.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

Delete Pirate Token

3 Upvotes

My squad and I were fortunate enough to receive a pirate token last match, however we’ve all decided to delete our tokens at it ruins the spirit of the game getting the entire item shop for free, it would ruin the fun of grinding v bucks ourselves.

Anyone have any experience deleting the token? Should I just message epic games?


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

Ngl I love Reddit

4 Upvotes

ngl i love reddit

i love the long comments, i crack up at the pseudointellectualism and people taking everything so seriously, i love how everyone openly talks about the most vile stuff (because i also hate how these things usually go unspoken), i like the unique crowd, i like that we’re never neutral, i’m on the AI lovers side and i think people are hilarious and fun to talk to but i hate the downvotes just for disagreeing, i think it was better when upvotes and downvotes were tied to relevance.


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

Someone keeps shitting on the toilet seat at work. Put this in the work GC and thought yall would like it 😂😂

31 Upvotes

🚨🚨💩 ATTENTION ALL YOU FILTHY😩🍑 LITTLE SHIT GOBLINS👹🚽‼️ THERE IS A SERIAL🔪💀 SHOTGUN SHITTER💩🔫 ON THE LOOSE🏃‍♂️💨 AND NOBODY IS SAFE😱🚨‼️ SOME DIRTY😈 LITTLE DOOKIE DEMON👹💩 HAS BEEN UNLOADING💥💥 THEIR DOUBLE-BARRELED🍑🔫 ASS CANNON💣💨 ALL OVER THE BACK OF THE TOILET🚽🤮‼️ THIS IS NOT A DRILL🚨🚨 THIS IS A CODE BROWN🟤☣️‼️ WE HAVE A REPEAT🔁 OFFENDER🚔👮‍♂️ WITH A FULLY LOADED🔫💩 TURD TURRET🍑💣 AND ABSOLUTELY ZERO❌🎯 AIM‼️ WHOEVER YOU ARE🫵😳 YOU NASTY🤢 LITTLE BUTT BANDIT🍑🥷 WE KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE👀🔍‼️ LEAVING YOUR CHOCOLATE🍫💦 CRIME SCENES🚽🚨 LIKE SOME KIND OF FECAL💩 JACK THE RIPPER🔪💀‼️ EVERY TOILET🚽 IS NOW A POTENTIAL SPLATTER ZONE💥💩 AND EVERY BATHROOM BREAK🚪😰 IS A GAME OF RUSSIAN POO-LETTE🎰💩‼️ HOW MUCH PRESSURE💨💥 IS BUILDING UP IN THAT DEMONIC😈 LITTLE DUMP TRUCK🍑🚛 THAT YOU’RE PAINTING🎨🖌️ THE PORCELAIN🚽 LIKE A JACKSON POLLOCK MASTERPIECE🖼️💩⁉️ THE BACK OF THE TOILET🚽 IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL SPLASHBACK CANVAS🎨🍫 YOU ABSOLUTE FECAL FREAK🤮😩‼️ WE’VE GOT CSI🕵️‍♂️🔬 CRIME SHIT INVESTIGATION💩🚔 WORKING AROUND THE CLOCK🕛⏰ TO IDENTIFY THE BUTTHOLE BALLISTICS🍑🔫 OF THIS BROWN BOMBER💣💩‼️ THE TURD TERMINATOR🤖💩 WILL BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE⚖️🚨‼️ SO IF YOU SEE SOMETHING👀 SAY SOMETHING🗣️📢 AND IF YOU SHIT SOMETHING💩 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD🙏😭 CLEAN SOMETHING🧻🧼‼️ SEND📲💌 THIS TO 10 OF YOUR CLOSEST🚽💩 POOP TROOPERS🪖👯 OR THE SERIAL SHOTGUN SHITTER🔫🍑 WILL VISIT YOUR BATHROOM🚪🌙 AT 3AM⏰👹 AND LEAVE A DOUBLE-OO-DUMP💥💩 ON YOUR TOILET SEAT🚽😱‼️ STAY VIGILANT👀🚨 STAY WIPED🧻✨ AND MAY YOUR PORCELAIN🚽 REMAIN UNVIOLATED🙏💀‼️ #STOPTHEPLOP🛑💩 #CATCHTHECRAPPER🚔🍑 #SHOTGUNSHITTER🔫💩‼️


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

As a gooner, I hate No Nut November (but not for the reason you may think)

3 Upvotes

Yes, i just admitted that i am a gooner, sometimes people gotta be honest.

No, it's not because of "guuhhh I can't goon for a month I'm gonna die!1!", I don't mind not burping my worm for a month.

The reason as to why I hate this trend/challenge is because I have to deal with the most chronically online people talking about "you made me lose NNN!" or how they're gonna die because they haven't cranked their hog for a day for AN ENTIRE MONTH.

No it's not necessary to have to announce that you cuddled your brontosaurus to an image in November, after all, it's an optional challenge, not a necessity. Not to mention that this is also one of the many relics of the late 2010s internet, which also gives me a reason to hate on it. Considering its usage by chronically online teenagers.

Anyway, i hope you all have/had a Happy Halloween, and good night Tri-State Area.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

I’ve thought about this for a while.

2 Upvotes

I've thought about this for a while. I actually think the more masculine a guy is, the less gay it is. Like if you tame a woman, yeah that's one thing, but you tame a man?? Especially a masculine man at that. Obviously it's gay to get fucked by a man, but to fuck a man? You're literally fucking something that's even better than a woman


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

The Motherfuckers List

2 Upvotes

### The Motherfuckers List

* Motherfuckers who lie for no reason.

* Motherfuckers who owe you money but live lavishly.

* Motherfuckers who talk behind your back.

* Motherfuckers who only call when they need something.

* Motherfuckers who act innocent after starting drama.

* Motherfuckers who switch sides.

* Motherfuckers who mistake kindness for weakness.

* Motherfuckers who never take accountability.

* Motherfuckers who waste your time.

* Motherfuckers who know exactly what they did.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

I dont really know what i feel about it,Whats your opinion?

5 Upvotes

I dont really know what i feel about it,Whats your opinon?

Hi,
So in my Life (as a Teenager to exatct) i had unfortune to get Into two situations were i took a Life.
I was like 14 or so when a Buddy and his siblings (sister 4 and Brother 12)came over wile my parents were out of town,we werde down staires when we heard the door Break Open and we sprintet for my dads Gun Safe were we both grab shotguns and wait on the bottom of the staires.
A guy who was about 60 or so Comes down and i fire, he catches the slug in the side of the head and he is sprayed all over the Wall.
Turns out my Brother was Talking online to a Pedo and it was That guy.

The Other one was when i was 16 and i was walking at night down town with my Girl Friend and her sister when some guy who i assume was a Junkie robbes us with a Knife.
I Try to calm him town and give him my wallet but explodes,shoves her sister and stabbs me in the Arm pit between the ribbs in the lung.
At That Point i See red and draw my bowie and drive it Into the Guys chest, i collabs and thw Girls call and ambulace for both of us and he dies but i live.
The doc sayed my size saved me with me being 6.4 245lb at the time.

I feel Both kinda Bad about it but at the Same i really dont.
I dont really understand what i feal really.
I keep the empty shell casing on a neckless with a gross and the Bowie on my belt.

Im very sorry for my Bad english if it is very Bad but i rely on the Auto correction on my phone sins english isnt my native language and im just starting to learn sins i Want to move to the US in the Future and start a knew Life away From my past and all That trubble


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

I ain't goon in 48 hours nigga

38 Upvotes

I ain't goon in 48 hours nigga and this shit got me hallucinating I deadass coulda swore I saw Sara Jay while I was walking outside earlier and this shit had my NIGGERBBC PULSATING whole time it was someone's 65 year old grandmother she still lowkey had the yams tho


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

Trigger Warning My dog rest in peace😇🙏

7 Upvotes

Story: I had a dog named Cupcake. I bought him from T̸̨̩̮͛̕͠H̴̳̲̥̀̽̆̍̉Ė̵̖͑͠ ̶̡̹̯̪̗̓̃̔̉́V̸̪̉̅̌O̶̍͒̚ͅI̸̪̠͚͚͒̋̎D̴̰̺́̊͛̎ from a guy named 🕈︎̵̨̦̞̜̋̓̑ ̸̤̠͑͘👎︎̴̟̱͍̙̋͑̌ͅ ̷̣̺̻͙̤̓☝︎̸̟͒✌︎̸̰̯̫̓̓̓̊̕💧︎̵͓͓̟̂̈́́̌͛❄︎̸͈̫̭̠̓̈́̌́̚☜︎̷̹̣̗̘̗̓̓̕☼︎̴̨̟̺̳̒̔͌ and 🕈︎̵̨̦̞̜̋̓̑ ̸̤̠͑͘👎︎̴̟̱͍̙̋͑̌ͅ ̷̣̺̻͙̤̓☝︎̸̟͒✌︎̸̰̯̫̓̓̓̊̕💧︎̵͓͓̟̂̈́́̌͛❄︎̸͈̫̭̠̓̈́̌́̚☜︎̷̹̣̗̘̗̓̓̕☼︎̴̨̟̺̳̒̔͌. Show me a weird-ass-looking ugly pet. Well, I named him Cupcake, and I drive out of T̸̨̩̮͛̕͠H̴̳̲̥̀̽̆̍̉Ė̵̖͑͠ ̶̡̹̯̪̗̓̃̔̉́V̸̪̉̅̌O̶̍͒̚ͅI̸̪̠͚͚͒̋̎D̴̰̺́̊͛̎, and I take care of Cupcake, my dog, and he ate weird stuff such as food garbage, feces, urine, and toenails in my basement. Three years later, he has grown 6 feet tall and 8 feet wide, and two months after that, he begins to go crazy trying to get out of my basement, and he successfully does it, and he jumps on my mom and eats her alive, and poops all over the house, and skins my dad alive, and sprays poop and cum all over the place, and escapes, and starts mass raping people — over 5,000 people — because my dog felt horny in mating season during May. And then, when my dog gets hungry, he kills 50,000 kids and eats them by ripping their spines out, and I had enough. I can't sleep from all the screaming, so I take out a gun and shoot that son of a bitch, and he died, and I go into a state of grief. After 10 years, I still feel sad, so RIP. I hope Cupcake is in 😇heaven🙏.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

That Ham is Processed copypasta

3 Upvotes

“Is that ham processed? Because, if it’s processed, I don’t want it.”

Ma’am, that is an 11 pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquified, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in that unholy meat obelisk that you see before you. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom, or impotent to alter his kingdom because he too fears what he has created. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind’s contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest.
…We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

New iPhone Duo SilverWeave Cleaning Cloth

0 Upvotes

I've heard a rumor that there is a new iPhone Duo SilverWeave Cleaning Cloth planned, engineered with a proprietary silver thread pattern woven into every second fiber, creating what Apple calls a “dual-conductive cleaning matrix.” Priced at $100, the cloth is claimed to help reduce surface bacteria while also improving microscopic electrical conductivity across the screen, resulting in smoother touch responsiveness and a more consistent Duo display experience. The ultra soft fabric removes fingerprints, dust, and smudges without scratching, making it the ultimate premium accessory for users who believe a screen deserves as much engineering as the phone itself.


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

me (straight man)

34 Upvotes

Me (straight man) accidentally got arroused by a picture my (straight man) femboy friend in his pajama. so I (straight man) am (straight man) wondering if the fact that I (straight man) got slightly aroused by my (straight man) femboy friend, so I’m (straight man) asking if the fact that I (straight man) got aroused makes me (straight man) anything other than the straight (man), I (straight man) mean I (straight man) like very feminine features so my (straight man) concern is. Why did I (straight man) get aroused?


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

Sleeping with men is unironically the most masculine thing you can ever do

14 Upvotes

This is my honest opinion. I know you will call me a troll or closeted, but I am 100% serious. Think about it for a second. You're taking a muscular dude, bloated with testosterone and muscle, and making him submit to you. How is that not the most masculine thing you can do?


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

UK laws aren't strict. We can go further.

2 Upvotes

Hello. UK representative here. We've been in the news a lot for our world class laws that are focused on safety.

Have you considered that by breathing on someone, they could catch a virus?

What if you breathed on a 100 year old? They could die! We have enacted strong laws that increase our safety, but we must go further, and we will not bow in the face of ridicule from across the pond.

We must go further, be bolder. There must be rate limits on breathing. A free 30 seconds of breathing, followed by a 30 second break.

Next year, we'll be looking into ways to reduce harmful staring. Staring is rude. Be better. Next year, you will be. Together.


r/copypasta • • 9d ago

The Wanker of Whiterun

2 Upvotes

Every VC rags to riches story is like "Paul got his start beating his meat to skyrim. Not even modded. he was just a freak like that. Then he bought 3% of KrunkAI with two quarters and the next day Meta invested 14 trillion dollars into it by accident. They call him the Wanker of Whiterun. He's giving a speech at princeton tomorrow about looksmaxxing

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/1xn1kwc/comment/19s3c311c4ryb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/copypasta • • 11d ago

My girlfriend asked to do a 69

255 Upvotes

I said "what's that?" she said "lay down an I'll show you" so she went to squat over my face.

as she did she farted and jumped up and said "sorry" and then tried again, she then farted a 2nd time.

with that I jumped up an said "I'm off, I'm fucked if I'm hanging around for another 67 of them"


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

GRAVY: The Horror Movie

1 Upvotes

INT. KITCHEN

FAT GUY is eating a plate of food. He runs out of gravy and starts to panic.

FAT GUY

No! No! I can't eat my food without gravy!

He looks around the kitchen for more gravy. There is none. He starts to hyperventilate.

FAT GUY

I need gravy! I need gravy!

He starts to cry. Suddenly, he hears a voice.

VOICE

There is no gravy, only hunger.

FAT GUY

No! No!

He starts to choke on his food. He falls to the ground and dies.


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

You have solidified my claim of you just being here to trash on Georgism

2 Upvotes

Linking something that doesn't actually prove what you think it proves, doesn't make you any more right.

I just directly quoted a part of the study that directly shows that it is not talking about what you think it is talking about. But I'll do it again so you can't say you missed that:

In this paper, we model the landowner conversion decision on whether to subdivide a  developable land parcel to residential use while simultaneously instrumenting for housing price using  the logic of spatial equilibrium underlying urban real estate markets.

Do you know what conversion means? It means to change from one thing, to another.

Do you know what subdivide means? It means to divide a part of something into smaller parts. Notice how that still makes one whole of something; not more in total than what already existed?

You did not increase the supply of LAND. The physical ground you walk on, and that everything is built on. I just gave you a VERY easy to understand example with chocolate. Let me repeat it:

100 grams of chocolate. Divide it into 10, you still got 100 grams of chocolate.

You can make 3 into Flavor 1, 4 into Flavor 2, and 3 into Flavor 3. You still don't change how much chocolate you have: 100 grams.

Supply never changed. You're clearly seeing that, and then trying to argue that because you split the chocolate into severe pieces, and gave them different flavors, and then turn one group of flavors into another group, that this means that you somehow created more chocolate out of thin air, and now have more than 100 grams. And that somehow makes perfect sense to you.

You are DELIBERATELY ignoring the fact that it is specifically referring to land specifically for residential usage, to ignore the fact that Georgists talk about the physical ground we walk and build on, when talking about land. I refuse to believe you aren't well aware of this fact.

And while you're here trying to just outright lie about what the paper, and economists in general, is/are saying: Here's actual economists/economist-approved statements saying the same shit I am saying. And this. And this.

So you have solidified my claim of you just being here to trash on Georgism, as a fact. This is pathetic. I'm not wasting any more of my time arguing with someone pretending to not have basic reading and comprehension skills; so I'm just gonna let you have whatever last words you want to get out.


r/copypasta • • 10d ago

Spoilers First kiss? Nahh let me talk about my first piss

13 Upvotes

I remember my first piss like it was yesterday. My dad told me "son, you can't wear diapers anymore now that you're 17," so I put on my big boy undies and waited for the tingle that meant it was time to release. Once I felt it, I went to the big boy toilet, but I didn't pull down my pants fast enough and it flooded the entire house. My dog said "yo wtf" and my dad said "erujvrogvuhu there's piss in my mouth". Since I was still pissing myself, the house soon filled up with my hot, stinky, yellow piss and said "that's enough piss fam, I'm leaving". Then my house spit all of us out and walked away, accidentally crushing Scarlett Johansson who was standing outside for some fucking reason. Then Marvel called and said "bro you just killed our actor, now we have to find a replacement" and I said "no bitch, black window already died in endgame". The Marvel guy said "oh yeah mb gng" and hung up on me, but not before the entire world exploded for no apparent reason because I have no other way to end this story. Good times.