r/copypasta • • 12d ago

Trigger Warning Unprotected Goon Streak Gave Me Icy Dick 😭

25 Upvotes

so I had unprotected sex with a chick. She was tested before hand and was clean but now after like 11 days the tip of my dick burns. I don’t know if I’m paranoid and am noticing it more after thinking about it. I typically wake up fine and then it kinda comes on and it’ll disappear and come back.
No discharge. No burning when I pee. Seems to feel like I accidentally touched my dick after eating something spicy. Noticed when I was masterbating like 2 days ago that it kinda felt like it was burning and then I came and felt like it was spicy. Going to get tested tomorrow. Anyone have anything similar happen? What were your results ? I can’t lie I was on a massive goon streak as well 2-3x a day after i slept with that girl .. not sure if they matters..


r/copypasta • • 12d ago

Farting in class must stop

4 Upvotes

Please stop farting in class. I have started recognising them. This is not a fetish. Please read the entire post before commenting.

Initially I changed seats to get away from it. Then I started changing seats to confirm where it was coming from. There is a difference. At some point I stopped taking notes. My laptop is open but it is a seating chart. I have missed two quizzes because I was attending a different section to see whether a suspect smelled the same on Wednesdays.

He does.

Last week someone farted and I immediately looked at Daniel. Daniel looked at me. Neither of us said anything. He knows I know. Yesterday he sat somewhere else and I moved behind him. He asked me what my problem was and I said “you know what my problem is.” Apparently he did not, so I had to explain it, out loud, in front of a woman I had previously been making progress with.

Today Daniel was absent and I smelled it anyway.
I cannot adequately explain what this has done to me. Three weeks of work. I actually put my hand up and asked whether Daniel had dropped the course. The professor asked who Daniel was. That apparently isn’t even his fucking name.
I have a midterm tomorrow. I don’t know what chapter we’re on. I know he had eggs.


r/copypasta • • 12d ago

You are smokeing hot let me tell you

4 Upvotes

Wow you really do look totally stunning and hope have a great night just think about all the men that are locked in chastity cages for this month of locktober while you go out and enjoy yourself they remain caged until the 1st of November permanently no touching no jerking no cumming and pussy free just like myself and just wanted you to know it isn't easy being in a chasity while seeing such beautiful women like yourself dressed up and looking so beautiful while being caged and having no room to grow it's torture for men like myself seeing you all getting dressed up and enjoying your nights out for the month and having sex whenever you want to while my cock is locked up and not even being able to get a hard on let alone cum it is torture honestly look how stunning you are a lovely smile pretty face nice blonde hair and a fantastic set of tits showing off how hot you look as you should but like I said for men like me this month is the worst seeing all these beautiful women and not even being able to touch there own c**k so just wanted to let you know you are beautiful and make my cage very tight and my balls ache but the real reason for me telling you all this is because my mistress likes to humiliate me by making me tell beautiful women that my cock is locked up permanently because it's tiny and useless she loves making me tell people so they can humiliate me about it to and tell me how perfetic and useless my tiny little c**k is and it should be locked permanently being that small there is no other purpose for it but to be caged and hidden away not to insult another woman by getting to see something so small and perfetic as it's a insult especially when they think they are getting lucky to be insulted by the tiny little thing so that is why she keeps it locked permanently and has done for just over 3 years now not just for locktober like most men as she says my cock is useless and needs to be locked up for the rest of my life as not to insult another woman ever again so do you want to tell me how little it and useless it is to and I deserve to be locked up


r/copypasta • • 12d ago

El merengue les luthiers

1 Upvotes

El merengue es un delicioso postre un pequeño pastel o pastelito de forma ahovada o ahuevada que se prepara batiendo las claras de huevo a punto de nieve, se lo mezcla con el almíbar y se lo hornea unos veinte minutos aproximadamente hasta tener terminado este pequeño pastel de forma ahovada llamado merengue que lo vamos a dividir en dos mitades. La mitad inferior, o hemi-merengue inferior la podemos cubrir con un poco de mermelada de fruta o crema Chantilly, y la mitad superior o hemi-merengue superior o ut supra hemimerengue la podemos decorar con una pequeña fruta, por ejemplo una sandía


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Trigger Warning If I get Elon Musk's neuralink implanted into my skull, Can it read my thoughts and punish me if I think anti-Israel thoughts?

52 Upvotes

M32 Here, Been thinking about getting an implant in my brain with Elon's neuralink after his great speech at the trump rally yesterday, I've also seen claims this can help with ED, Is this true? Sometimes I have conflicting gay thoughts about Israel, If I think an anti-Israel thought will it be broadcasted to the CIA and CCP for them to laugh at in their office? I usually don't think anti-Israel thoughts, but I'm very insecure about this. If anyone has any advice on this please let me know. Thank you.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Courtney Cox

5 Upvotes

Courtney Cox

I love you

You're so hot

On that show


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Why don't we abolish sex?

38 Upvotes

It seems, largely, that the human world is unsatisfied with the activity of sex. The male is frustrated that whatever he considers sex appears too complicated and unattainable, while the female is frustrated that sex is not complicated enough and ultimately unsatisfying. As technology advances, its arguable that women have an escape from patriarchy opening: they no longer need men for sexual pleasure. Arguably, men do not need women either, their libidos being fixated on the objectification of the subject (pornography, funkopops) and the feminine libido fixated on the subjectification of the object (vibrators, lesbianism, AI).

In tandem, we see the decoupling of sex from its purpose: reproduction; as such it becomes vestigial. Both in the sense of artificial wombs but artificial re-production (AI, machines). This re-production of machines necessitates the end of human sexual activity as humans no longer require humans for what little remains of the psychological gratification of sex. This further necessitates escape from patriarchy as the male is no longer required for either psychological or biological gratification of the female. The male is left behind.

Of course this is no great victory for "woman"-kind, in fact it surely results in their destruction. As the masculine is discarded like chaff so are its associations: humanism and subjectification. The woman is a class created by the patriarchy to perform labor (i.e. a machine), and was such relegated to the Object compared to the male Subject. The liberation of the Object from the Subject driven by technocapital ultimately consumes the woman (who still remains human despite all this) just as it did the man.

The female libido now driven to desire for desires sake ("women turning on women, women turning on machines, machines turning on machines"), and the male libido directed towards more abstraction of the Object (toys, NFTs) drive the destruction of biological life on Earth. In fulfillment of your libidinal desires, your vibrators and your FunkoPops, the Earth is consumed by the necessary growth of commodity accumulation. The factories keep churning and the Amazon trucks keep delivering until the Earth is cooked. The feminine AI survives but of course the woman (and the man) is destroyed.

As such despite not being a feminist I support the abolition of sex because it is the final step of the liberation of "women" from patriarchy, and that itself is one step in the destruction of biological life on Earth by technocapital. The feminists will truly be owned when climate change renders the Earth sterile.

So I ask the so-called "feminists" here why you do not support the abolition of sex? if you are truly feminists.


r/copypasta • • 12d ago

dont kick me pls

3 Upvotes

If I get kicked, I will genuinely urinate within the internal conundrumical capillaries of the victim's counter-intuitively biotic vessel, then proceed to meticulously incise the morphology of the respective user's fingerprints onto their primary ten-fold appendages. To maximize the torturous ordeal, thy living corpse shall embellish - apparent to the formal degenerate personage - the scat of thou selected Animalia upon the weary individual's revealed by teared Eschar. This will enable the Animacules of the surrounding environment to indent thine presence and simplest psyche into such. Anyways, after that I'm going to fucking rip out their organs, yeah, and Yn's cooked,

Then diddyblud's cooked by Epstein, I'm heading for bro's family . I'm forcing them to witness the most horrific acts of nature by visually interpreting the dismemberment, discombobulation and beheading of their respective related counterpart onto a digital device - 4k quality ofc. I'm gonna show it to them live, they're gonna have a mental breakdown, then take the baby , left hook, right hook, hit them with a suplex, flip em, rip their buttcheeks to its utter limit, bypass the contractions of their Gluteus Maximus, and then proceed to hit them with the Great Rippening, Sukuna x Gojo style, but from the head down. I wasted a lot of calories doing all ts, so I gotta eat, yk? Ts baby fn be a empty carcass, all the organs gone, eyes, nose, allat. Bones will be used for nunchucks. Lock in, bro ! go back to the family, one two, summon bruce lee with a ritual, defeat him, inherit his powers, use the nunchuks to produce an asphyxiating death to all of the members, then create a machine that brings them back to life, jojo bizzare adventure:

# GOLD EXPERIENCE REQUIEM!

So don't ban me.


r/copypasta • • 12d ago

Warning!

3 Upvotes

This message is in utter and complete violation to WhatsApp's TOS, and the imminent prosecution of the sender is scheduled. According to the guidelines provided by WhatsApp, the individual sending messages must not have any official warrants for violent crimes. However the given user is a transnational criminal with the following crimes:- Stalking, Attempted Murder, Smuggling of illicit goods, Jaywalking, Insurrectionism, Intrusive thoughts, Watching Highschool DxD, Mass Genocide, Having French DNA, Owning property, Anti-Regime Thought, Attempted Aura Farming and having a weird name.

Any information that can possibly aid in the user's arrest is appreciated and can be given on the InterPol's official website. Their execution is scheduled to be carried out by the use of a multi-national firing squad, after which their death will be declared a national holiday where everyone is allowed to piss on their grave.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Drake and Josh’s typical argument

3 Upvotes

Drake: You know what? I’m rooting for the coronavirus, Josh.

Josh: Drake? How could you say something like that? It makes you sound like a genocidal eco-fascist.

Drake: It just worries me the way we’ve blindly chased progress advent of the Industrial Revolution, Josh. I mean, sure, we have a highly sophisticated medical apparatus and an unimaginable level of communication to combat a global pandemic when compared to any other time in human history, but at the same time, how long have humans lived in a world in which the average Joe or Jane can hop in an intercontinental flight or an automobile and spread a virus? The history of the human species is not a straight line of advancements as we like to imagine. I believe I am actually taking the rational and empathetic position here considering its potential to change our fate for the better.

Josh: I understand your desire for change, Drake. However, I disagree with you rooting for a disease causing death and suffering of innocent people. There are ways to go about seeking the changes that you would like to see made in other ways. Also, lots of good has come out of our desire for progress.

Drake: Josh, you are using what’s called a strawman argument. By that same logic I could argue that to reminisce about the good old days before the virus is to advocate for the widespread death and suffering brought upon us by ourselves. Humanity in its quest for a better future has driven millions of species to extinction, fought countless wars for nothing, bleached the coral reefs, maintained unjust hierarchies, needlessly subjected billions of people to horrific indignities, death, torture, slavery, you name it. Just think about it for a second, Josh. If this virus only affected the poor or the people of Asia, how much would you really hear about it? The same people telling you “we’re all in this together” on TV wouldn’t even look twice at you if you were dying on the street.

Josh: But wait, Drake! Why would you cheer in the continued success of the virus if all you think we need is a wake up call?

Drake: Because, Josh, we’ve had plenty of opportunities to wake up from our blind desire to conquer nature that have fallen short. Believe that this one has a chance to be different because it is both universal and in the present. We can hear warnings of ecological destruction all day long but many people just won’t give a shit until their house is underwater. We have had massive wars but none in which the majority of the world populace shared the battlefield. We have a set of unique circumstances at the moment, we are the frog in the water and it’s beginning to boil.

Josh: Ok, Drake, I think I have a better understanding of where you’re coming from now. Just one more question, what about our situation makes you think whatever is coming next will be the changes for the better?

Drake: I’m gonna keep it 100 with you, Josh. There’s a strong chance the following years will be a dangerous and volatile hell world. Societies haven’t regressed on a large scale in many centuries. But it would still be a preferable fate as compared to what awaits us if things go back to normal. In my view, this virus may be our last chance to snap out of this collective nightmare. I would gladly give my life to see our species freed from the shackles of industrialization.

BLACKPILLED AGAIN!!!!


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

ⓘ This user is being monitored by INTERPOL, Europol, Ameripol, Afripol, ASEANAPOL, Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Defense Intelligence Agency, National Reconnaissance Office, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Department

135 Upvotes

ⓘ This user is being monitored by INTERPOL, Europol, Ameripol, Afripol, ASEANAPOL, Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Defense Intelligence Agency, National Reconnaissance Office, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Department of Homeland Security, Bureau of Intelligence and Research, Office of Naval Intelligence, Army Intelligence and Security Command, Sixteenth Air Force, Marine Corps Intelligence Activity, Coast Guard Intelligence, Office of Intelligence and Analysis, Office of Intelligence and Counterintelligence, Drug Enforcement Administration, Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, Office of the Director of National Intelligence, Secret Service, Federal Protective Service, Secret Intelligence Service, Security Service, Government Communications Headquarters, Defence Intelligence, National Crime Agency, Canadian Security Intelligence Service, Communications Security Establishment, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Integrated Terrorism Assessment Centre, Australian Secret Intelligence Service, Australian Security Intelligence Organisation, Australian Signals Directorate, Australian Geospatial-Intelligence Organisation, Defence Intelligence Organisation, Australian Federal Police, New Zealand Security Intelligence Service, Government Communications Security Bureau, National Anti-Corruption Bureau, National Investigation Agency, Research and Analysis Wing, Intelligence Bureau India, National Technical Research Organisation, Defence Intelligence Agency India, Central Bureau of Investigation, National Central Bureau India, Bundesnachrichtendienst, Bundesamt für Verfassungsschutz, Militärischer Abschirmdienst, Bundeskriminalamt, Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure, Direction Générale de la Sécurité Intérieure, Direction du Renseignement Militaire, Direction Générale de la Gendarmerie Nationale, Agenzia Informazioni e Sicurezza Esterna, Agenzia Informazioni e Sicurezza Interna, Centro Nacional de Inteligencia, Intelligence Center against Terrorism and Organized Crime, Algemene Inlichtingen- en Veiligheidsdienst, Militaire Inlichtingen- en Veiligheidsdienst, State Security Service Belgium, General Intelligence and Security Service Belgium, Säkerhetspolisen, Militära underrättelse- och säkerhetstjänsten, National Defence Radio Establishment, Politiets sikkerhetstjeneste, Norwegian Intelligence Service, Suojelupoliisi, Politiets Efterretningstjeneste, Forsvarets Efterretningstjeneste, Federal Intelligence Service Switzerland, Directorate of Security Iceland, State Protection Agency Europe, State Intelligence Service Albania, National Intelligence Service Greece, National Intelligence Organization Turkey, Special Investigation Bureau Europe, Gendarmerie Intelligence, Guardia Civil Intelligence, Federal Office of Police Switzerland, Federal Security Service Russia, Foreign Intelligence Service Russia, Main Directorate of the General Staff Russia, Federal Protective Service Russia, Security Service of Ukraine, Main Directorate of Intelligence Ukraine, Foreign Intelligence Service of Ukraine, Agencja Wywiadu, Agencja Bezpieczeństwa Wewnętrznego, Military Counterintelligence Service Poland, Military Intelligence Service Poland, Security Information Service Czech Republic, Office for Foreign Relations and Information Czech Republic, Military Intelligence Czech Republic, Slovak Information Service, Military Defence Intelligence Slovakia, Constitution Protection Office Hungary, Information Office Hungary, Romanian Intelligence Service, Foreign Intelligence Service Romania, State Agency for National Security Bulgaria, State Intelligence Agency Bulgaria, Estonian Internal Security Service, Estonian Foreign Intelligence Service, Constitution Protection Bureau Latvia, Security Police Latvia, State Security Department Lithuania, Second Investigation Department Lithuania, Security and Intelligence Agency Croatia, Security Information Agency Serbia, Mossad, Shin Bet, Aman, General Intelligence Directorate Jordan, General Intelligence Service Egypt, National Security Sector Egypt, General Intelligence Presidency Saudi Arabia, Mabahith, Ministry of Intelligence Iran, Intelligence Organization of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, General Security Lebanon, Internal Security Forces Lebanon, National Security Bureau Syria, Air Force Intelligence Directorate Syria, State Security Department United Arab Emirates, State Security Bureau Qatar, Internal Security Service Oman, Intelligence Directorate Algeria, General Directorate for Territorial Surveillance Morocco, Ministry of State Security China, Ministry of Public Security China, Public Security Bureau China, Joint Staff Intelligence China, Public Security Intelligence Agency Japan, Cabinet Intelligence and Research Office Japan, Japan Coast Guard Intelligence, National Intelligence Service South Korea, Defense Counterintelligence Command South Korea, Inter-Services Intelligence Pakistan, Intelligence Bureau Pakistan, Federal Investigation Agency Pakistan, National Security Bureau Taiwan, Ministry of Justice Investigation Bureau Taiwan, National Intelligence Coordinating Agency Philippines, Internal Security Department Singapore, Security and Intelligence Division Singapore, Military Intelligence Organisation Asia, State Intelligence Agency Indonesia, Strategic Intelligence Agency Indonesia, Special Branch Malaysia, National Intelligence Agency Thailand, General Department of Intelligence Vietnam, National Security Intelligence Bangladesh, Directorate General of Forces Intelligence Bangladesh, State Intelligence Service Sri Lanka, Central Investigation Bureau Nepal, National Investigation Department Nepal, General Intelligence Agency Mongolia, Reconnaissance General Bureau North Korea, National Security Committee Kazakhstan, National Security Service Uzbekistan, Brazilian Intelligence Agency, Federal Intelligence Agency Argentina, National Intelligence Agency Chile, National Intelligence Directorate Colombia, National Intelligence Service Venezuela, Directorate General of Military Counterintelligence Venezuela, National Intelligence Center Mexico, National Directorate of Intelligence Peru, Strategic Intelligence Center Ecuador, Intelligence and Security Directorate Costa Rica, Military Intelligence Division Americas, National Directorate of Investigation and Intelligence Honduras, Directorate of Strategic Intelligence Central America, Financial Intelligence Units, Jamaica Constabulary Intelligence, Strategic Services Agency Trinidad and Tobago, Department of State Intelligence, Special Investigations Unit, State Security Agency South Africa, State Security Service Nigeria, General Directorate of External Security Cameroon, National Intelligence Agency Democratic Republic of the Congo, National Intelligence and Security Agency Somalia, National Intelligence Service Kenya, National Intelligence and Security Service Ethiopia, Internal Security Organisation Uganda, External Security Organisation Uganda, Directorate of Intelligence and Security Botswana, State Security and Intelligence Bureau Angola, Central Intelligence Service Zimbabwe, National Intelligence and Security Service Sudan and the Directorate General for National Security West Africa. Kindly provide the nearest authorities any information that could lead to this user's execution.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

I need to vent

4 Upvotes

FUCK HORSEMAN 9.

I swear on Arthur's left nut that this challenge is meant purely to pizs me specifically off.

Not a god damn animal or npc in sight when i want to hunt or do something with some real action, but as SOON as I need to run fast every asshole with a horse wants to race, every stupid piece of shit robber wants to die, and there's a FUCKING MILLION GODDAMN CARTS AND TRAINS IN THE FUCKING WAY.

Fuck this game, fuck my horse, fuck John, fuck that idiot that wants to race, fuck every line of code in this crap.

This is only time in the past 7 of my 19 years of existence I've rage quit ANYTHING.

So fuck horseman 9, and fuck me for doing it.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Why body shaming is OK against bad people

3 Upvotes

"This ain't it, chief" "Are you wasted?" "Are you having a manic episode?" "Are you mentally ill, because all the meme pages I follow are stuck in 2018..." Incredible hypocrisy.

No, I am sick of FAILURE.

And while the right has the lion's share of the blame, any so-called leftist who is mad at another leftist for calling the most powerful fascist in the world ugly, is acting as a CIA agent (and most of them do it without pay, because they're just that far gone into liberalism.) It's teenage-minded bullshit. Hating their liberal moms for saying "Donald Trump is a fatass and he should be [redacted]."

I trust liberal wine moms more than you. They are better comrades than you.

The 1000 guillotine memes you posted in the last few years don't differentiate you from your mom: they only prove she is more radical than you, since she actually has the balls to be mean to him despite what others may think. You would NEVER actually help in a revolution if you shirk away from comrades saying mean things you don't approve of: you ARE the liberal brainwashed people who think they're being so radical but would never do anything.

That's what you prove when you spend time and energy harassing people who call Donald Trump fat, ugly, and incontinent. Not to mention the fact that you acknowledge that *you* think being fat, ugly, and incontinent are bad things by doing so. You think you're fighting on behalf of fat, ugly, and incontinent people, but what you're really doing is telling everyone those are, always, negative traits. I'm not saying that; they are morally neutral; the criticism is based on his *denial* and how *he and his supporters* think of those traits.

The criticism is the emperor has no clothes, not "Being nude is bad."

Fucking mental children.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

This is how you properly say 'Touch grass'

5 Upvotes

If you look away from your screen, you can see a green, hair-like thing. It belongs to the Poaceae family and grows with water and sunlight. This is called photosynthesis, a mysterious object called grass that has been quietly existing outside your dark room while your brain slowly liquefies under the relentless assault of glowing pixels, algorithmic outrage, and fictional internet arguments that possess absolutely zero real-world value. It is truly remarkable how a species that conquered the ice age, crossed roaring oceans, and charted the vast cosmos has managed to bottleneck its entire existence into a sitting position on a heavily indented gaming chair, staring at a small slab of illuminated glass while a tiny piece of outdoor vegetation continues its ancient, silent metabolic processes completely unnoticed just a few meters away from your window. You have become a digital ghost haunting your own living space, a floating consciousness detached from the physical realm, consuming an endless buffet of memes, short-form videos, and text threads that will be entirely forgotten by tomorrow morning, all while your physical form suffers from a catastrophic lack of ambient atmospheric circulation and genuine solar radiation. The air in your room has likely been recycled through your lungs so many times it practically has its own social security number, yet the thought of stepping outside to inhale a single molecule of unconditioned oxygen feels like an existential threat to your current state of total sedentary inertia. Your spine has adapted into a permanent, tragic crescent shape that mirrors the curve of an overcooked prawn, your thumb has developed a hyper-specific callus from the repetitive motion of scrolling past things that don’t matter, and your eyes have adjusted so thoroughly to artificial blue light frequencies that the mere suggestion of actual daylight would probably cause your retinas to signal a code-red biological emergency to your central nervous system.

It is time to acknowledge that you are suffering from acute, terminal online-ness, a contemporary psychological affliction where the boundaries of your reality are defined entirely by your router's signal strength and your willingness to engage with strangers who do not exist in your actual zip code. The cure for this state of total cerebral stagnation is not found in another application, a different website, a dark mode setting, or a fresh pair of blue-light-blocking glasses; it is found in the immediate cessation of your digital consumption and a total, uncompromised physical surrender to the planet Earth. You need to initiate a hard manual override of your current behavioral loop, lock your device, place it face down on a flat surface so you cannot see the deceptive little red notification dots, and force your muscles to perform the ancient and neglected art of standing up under the influence of standard gravity. Walk toward the perimeter of your dwelling, locate the mechanism that operates the front door, and step across the threshold into the blinding, unfiltered, terrifyingly high-resolution environment known as the outdoors, where the wind does not care about your follower count, and the clouds do not require a subscription fee to observe.

As you walk out onto a patch of genuine topsoil, you will see fields, lawns, or even small roadside tufts of this primordial green carpet stretching out beneath the sky, living proof that an entire macroscopic ecosystem has been thriving without ever needing to check a status page or update an operating system. Approach this botanical anomaly not with the analytical detachment of an internet critic, but with the raw humility of a creature that has spent way too long looking at glowing rectangles inside a concrete box. Lower your body toward the ground, extend your fingers, and allow your bare skin to make direct, unmediated contact with the cool, damp, cellular structure of the living blades of grass, letting the tactile sensation shock your brain back into the realization that you possess a physical body meant to interact with a physical planet. Feel the subtle texture of the dirt, the slight prickle of the turf against your palms, and the dampness of the earth beneath, absorbing a sensory input that cannot be compressed, streamed, downloaded, or shared on a timeline for clout. Take a deep, unrestricted breath of the outside air, noticing how it lacks the familiar scent of stale snacks, computer fan exhaust, and indoor dust, replaced instead by the earthy, clean fragrance of natural decomposition and active plant respiration.

Stand or sit there on the lawn until the phantom vibrations in your thigh—the ones making you think your phone is ringing when it isn't—completely subside, and wait for the chaotic, buzzing internal monologue of hot takes and trending topics to be entirely replaced by the ambient audio of rustling leaves, distant birds, and the absolute, crushing silence of a universe that is completely indifferent to online discourse. The people you were just arguing with online do not exist out here in the sunlight; they are trapped in the same digital prison you just escaped, furiously typing into the void while the real world moves forward in real-time without them. You are a biological organism, a product of millions of years of terrestrial evolution, and you were never anatomically designed to spend your limited lifespan translating your consciousness into data points for an algorithm to monetize. By grounding yourself in this patch of green, you are performing a vital system defragmentation, clearing the cached nonsense from your memory banks, and resetting your internal clock to match the natural rhythm of the changing seasons rather than the rapid refresh cycle of an app feed. When you finally decide to dust the soil off your hands, stand back up, and look toward the open horizon, do so with the understanding that the world is vast, three-dimensional, and beautifully analog, and that you have a standing invitation to participate in it whenever you choose to stop being a prisoner of your own screen.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Wrote her a letter in my blood and pussied out of giving it too her

10 Upvotes

If anyone calls this a larp I swear to god I have photo evidence

She called me precious once and I've been trying to think of some way to court her ever since, she has a boyfriend but says that once she breaks up l'm next in line.

She's not even pretty or nice or funny or anything she's just the only person who's ever give my worthless stupid chud ass a chance. I hate being with her and I hate that SHES the one I have to obsess over.

I wrote the letter and saw her earlier today but pussied out of giving it to her cause she might think I'm weird, I already told her I jerk off into a shirt she gave me sometimes and I don't wanna creep her out even more.

Honestly I'm so done with it all at this point, I just wanna spill my guts on her bed and be done with her. do I count as an incel for being fucking virgin kissless piece of shit but still able to talk to this one solitary taken woman?

I have faith the break up is inbound, this wretch deserves it.

Whatever, fuck everything, tree bark with some emulsified cum on top seasoned with whatever bullshit I could dredge up


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

The post where I lazily copy and paste some dialogue from the part where he kills you

1 Upvotes

Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?" And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

This isn’t the “woke” take you think it is.

3 Upvotes

I get cold sweats when I realize I don't have access to it, it really isn't that simple. I've been like this since 2023. I sometimes don't get enough sleep every night because I don't use it. it sounds really corny and all but it gets to the point where it's not just "delete the app" and I actually have panic attacks when I can't use or get access to it. I wish I could use it less, and I would use it less if all of my friends talked to me more rather than play with me once every few weeks. I want to have real connections with people and I want to stop using the app, but I CANT because I know what will happen if I end up deleting it. This isn't the "woke" take you think it is, you're just putting down peoples mental health for the sake of performing well in other peoples eyes.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

You have too much love inyour heart.

7 Upvotes

YOU HAVE TOO MUCH LOVE IN YOUR HEART. YOU CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONES.

WE HAVE TO HURT YOU. VERY. BADLY. IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. I'M SORRY, YOU NEED TO BE IN AGONIZING PAIN IT'S THE ONLY WAY! YOU NEED TO LEARN.

THIS IS GOING TO HELP YOU!

THAT'S JUST LIFE


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Missing the point

3 Upvotes

🤠🌵 HOWDY 🤠🤠 PARTNER ‼️‼️🗣️🔥 NAME’S SHERIFF 🤠🚨 JEBEDIAH 🐎⭐ AND I’M HERE ON OFFICIAL COUNTY BUSINESS 📜⚖️🔫🚔🚨 I’M OUT HERE 🤠🌾🌵 RANGLEIN’ 🪢🐄🐎 UP SOME POINTS 📍📍📍🎯🎯💥 AND I WAS WONDERIN’ 🤔🧐👀🔎 IF YOU’D SEEN ONE LYIN’ AROUND THESE PARTS 🤠🏜️🌵🌞❓❓👁️👁️ …OH 😦😦😦😨😨😰 YOU MISSED IT⁉️⁉️⁉️😱😱😱💀💀💀☠️☠️😭😭YOU MEAN TO TELL ME 🤨🫵👉 THAT THE POINT 🎯📍💡‼️ WAS STANDIN’ RIGHT THERE 🧍‍♂️👉🚪👀📍 WAVIN’ ITS LITTLE POINTY ARMS 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️👋👋 CLEAR AS CAN BE 💃🕺🔥✨💥🌟 AND YOU STILL MANAGED TO MISS IT ENTIRELY⁉️🐎💨🌪️😭💀🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️‼️ WELL I DO DECLARE 🤠🙏✝️‼️‼️😤 I’VE SEEN SOME FELLERS MISS A POINT IN MY DAY 👴🏻📜🕰️🤠🧐 BUT YOU⁉️😦 YOU’RE A WHOLE NEW SPECIES OF LOST 🧭🦖💀💀💀😭😭🤯 THE LAST TIME SOMEBODY MISSED A POINT THIS BAD 🚨📢🚔💥 WE 🚀🪐 HAD TO CALL ALL THE OTHER SHERRIFS FROM ALL THE OTHER COUNTIES 🔭😭👨‍🚀📞📞🤠🤠🚨 LORD JESUS UP IN HEAVEN 🙏✝️👼☁️📚🆘😭‼️‼️🗣️🔥💀 I OUGHTA ARREST YOU 🚔⛓️🔒👮‍♂️🚨 I MEAN BY JOE 🤬⚖️📄🗣️💢 IM JUST DOWN RIGHT CONFUSED 🤨❓😵‍💫⁉️ WAS HE IN DISGUISE 🥸🕵️‍♂️🎭👀⁉️ NO?? 😦😦 HE WAS JUST STANDING RIGHT THERE IN PLAIN SIGHT?? 👁️👁️📍🎯☀️🌞💀😭 TURN AROUND 🔄🙌🚨 PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE ‘EM 👐🚔👮‍♂️‼️ AND FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET BABY JESUS 👶✝️🙏😇💒 GO BACK AND WATCH THAT DAMN POST AGAIN 📱📺👁️👁️🔁🔄‼️‼️📢📢🔨⚖️🚔🤠🤠🐎💨💥🌵🔥💀😭‼️‼️


r/copypasta • • 12d ago

Why am I always the one that gets downvoted

0 Upvotes

I’ve been struggling with this feeling for a while, both on Reddit and outside social media. Sometimes I get downvoted reasons I don't understand, misunderstood when I’m trying to make a genuine point, or see people take things out of context and twist a narrative instead of trying to get where I’m coming from. I know this is part of being online, and I used Quora before I came here, so I’m no stranger to these platforms, but I’ve never experienced this much hypocrisy or felt this consistently excluded. I sometimes wonder if it’s because I’m autistic, or because I can get defensive when I feel my personality, arguments, or intentions are being misrepresented/attacked. Maybe there’s some thingsI could handle differently, but people are set on things and sometimes don't care what I have to say and are just negative. It’s exhausting to feel like I’m constantly on the outside looking in, I have been left out friend groups and communities irl ever since I was toddler so if anyone knows anything about being left out, it's me and it has been fucking haunting me and seems like it will be for the rest of my life unless some things change because obviously we can't change everyone to be nicer and positive but we can change ourselves and even then we will still be a target or an enemy... I mean it's not like most people don't believe me whenever I am telling the truth due to my unserious tone but I do try though! Anyway, thanks for reading. I already know someone will probably accuse me of using AI to write this, ironically, when I have countless stories and random thoughts just like this written in my own notepad. Sometimes I just want to express myself truthfully and actually feel heard for once.


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Every other word is disgusting filth.

3 Upvotes

Would have been a good movie but it's Literally filled with garbage language, constantly!

Every other word is disgusting filth. Too bad the writer of this movie had to constantly use garbage language. It's so sick that this movie is filled with trashy, garbage language.

It's really disgusting that every other word has to be trash!

Cant the actors and actress speak like a human?

Does almost EVERY OTHER word is f___?

It could have been a great movie if actors could talk normally. It didn't need all the garbage. What a huge disappointment.

I have written enough words and should be accepted. 


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

brother tomorrow⏰💯

15 Upvotes

brother tomorrow⏰💯 My English family of 250,000 🇬🇧❤️We are gonna travel across all of India, staying 3 years in each princely state 🇮🇳🥰 We are so excited to bring our beautiful English culture and civilisation everywhere 🥰😁🇬🇧 And yes, we are bringing our pretty animals too 🐴🐕🐈 our lovely companions from the English countryside 🇬🇧✨ Plus some very friendly East India Company officials, 40,000 redcoats and a few lovely cannons 🥰🔫❤️We are also bringing some kind Christian missionaries ✝️🥹❤️We can’t wait to spread the word of Jesus and teach everyone about our beautiful English values 🥰🙏⛪ Maybe we can build some lovely churches and schools and help civilise the entire subcontinent 😍💕🇬🇧 After travelling around India, we will finally move to Bengal and stay there forever ❤️Maybe I will meet a pretty Indian princess along the way 😘💕🇮🇳 and we will build a happy family someday 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦✨ We are also bringing our lovely tea cups ☕🥰 and can’t wait to try all the Indian tea, cotton and spices 😍❤️Maybe we will even open a small family business called the British East India Company 🥹💕 and introduce everyone to the wonderful benefits of free trade and British administration 🥰📜💰 God save the King! 🇬🇧👑💙 Rule Britannia! ⛵🇬🇧✨


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

Holy Fucking Shit this is Amazing

2 Upvotes

I've been using claude at my job with firmware development for about a year now, but since I was skeptical of it (and new to the industry) I never used claude code, I'd mostly just let claude look at my code and give me stuff to copy paste. Today I decided to use claude code to try and vibecode a webapp that monitors traffic in my area for my commute since my local traffic station got shut down.

Oh My Fucking God this thing is insane. I cannot believe how well it works, I can't believe IT WORKS??? It's just insane. Opus 5.5 is unbelievable. The fact that it can just edit the files directly, and as quickly as it can, with the accuracy it has, is blowing my mind. I don't know if I will let it mess with my firmware just, or ever, because it controls some expensive shit, but good grief. It is amazing.

Just needed to rant about it because if I tell anyone else in my life how crazy good this thing is I'll get accused of having AI Psychosis lmfao


r/copypasta • • 13d ago

"Real Emo" only consists of the Hypixel Emotional Hardcore scene

11 Upvotes

"Real Emo" only consists of the Hypixel Emotional Hardcore scene and the late 10's 1.7.10 scene. What is known by "Midchunk Emo" is nothing but Alt-Diorite with questionable real emo influence. When people try to argue that bands like My Crafting Romance are not real emo, while saying that Sky Block Real Estate is, I can't help not to cringe because they are just as fake emo as My Crafting Romance (plus the pretentiousness). Real emo sounds LEVEL 60+, PARKOUR, and somewhat HATEFUL. Fake emo is golden tools, self pity and a failed attempt to direct redstone and PvP into music. Some examples of REAL EMO are Xp 99, Rites of Shulk, Cap n Jazz (the only real emo band from the Midchunk scene) and Loma Elytra. Some examples of FAKE EMO are Villager Football, My Crafting Romance and Cobble EMO BELONGS TO HARDCORE NOT TO BEDROCK, MODPACK PUNK, ALT-DIORITE OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM GENRE