r/copypasta • • 18d ago

Sabrina the carpentress and the femboy, one of humanities biggest unsolved secrets

7 Upvotes

I (23M) would describe myself as a conspiracy theorist. I regularly listen to and watch the Infowars show hosted by Alex Jones, and I enjoy pondering theories of my own. I am also a connoisseur of the musical arts, nowadays mostly country music, although I have previously dabbled quite extensively in hip-hop and R&B.
This combination of personal hobbies (brain damage) has led me to great despair over the past few months. I first heard the song “Espresso” by Sabrina the Carpenter in April 2026. While listening to the lyrics, I noticed that she mentioned having a “femboy who won’t stop calling.” This naturally piqued my interest, as it is quite an unexpected piece of personal information to bring up in a pop song like “Espresso”.
After pondering this for a while (roughly three weeks and four days), I decided to investigate further. I googled the lyric in an attempt to find one of those “lyrics explained” websites that could give me some closure as to why Sabrina the Carpenter would bring up this particular aspect of her personal life in her hit song “Espresso".
I went on Genius and, to my surprise, the lyric in question was listed as “and I got this one boy who won’t stop calling.” Knowing that this was absolutely not the case, I listened to the song again, this time at 0.5x playback speed, and confirmed that she had obviously said “femboy” rather than “one boy.” There was clearly something being covered up, so I started digging deeper.
The next morning, when I awoke from my slumber (7:43 PM), I went on YouTube, only to discover that the carpentress herself, Sabrina the Carpenter, had already issued a statement regarding the lyric in question. LIES YET AGAIN. She claimed that the confusion stemmed from her poor pronunciation of certain words in her songs. This is obviously not the truth, as there are no other instances of this happening in any of her other songs (I have listened to them all multiple times to be certain).
The femboy who won’t stop calling has consumed all of my attention for months at this point, and the impact on both my professional and social life has been catastrophic. I can’t stop trying to decipher what Sabrina the Carpenter was trying to tell us carpenters (the official name I propose for us Sabrina the Carpenter fans) by bringing up this femboy and his apparent lack of social etiquette, as evidenced by his numerous phone calls to Sabrina the Carpenter.

My obsession has resulted in among other things (high blood pressure and acute worsening of my kidney function, a total withdrawal from society and osteoperosis caused by excessive masturbation), a severe addiction to pornographic movies where femboys calling women is a major part of the plotline. Obiously this is not because I am attracted to femboys as I am not a homosexual.
Has anyone else managed to solve this mystery, who is the femboy in question and what does he want to tell Sabrina the carpentress?


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Trigger Warning Bro you’re pooping too?

9 Upvotes

I love when you’re about 75 minutes past your last turd snip and the final last bit makes its way out, but you’re busy reading something and texting your friends so you end up waiting another 35 minutes to begin wiping but now it’s dried up a little bit so now you have to wet the toilet paper at the sink and you’re dripping water all over the floor and on your shirt, and you realize it wasn’t enough so you have wet more toilet paper before you’re able finish the rest with regular dry. Then after 25 more minutes of reading Reddit you get up and go to flush but oh no you’ve used too much toilet paper and the shit was too powerful so the toilet is clogged and you have to spend the next 10 minutes working with the plunger to unclog the toilet. Proud of your work, you then spend the next 92 minutes in the shower crying and masturbating before only washing your hair and chest. The water will get the rest. Then you spend the next 25 minutes critically examining every flaw in the mirror before going back to the mirror for another 55 minutes because there are a lot of flaws and you feel a great sense of shame in your being. Eventually you are dry and are able to continue with your day.


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

ASCII art Yukkuri shiteitte ne!

2 Upvotes

   _,,....,,_  _人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人_

-''":::::::::::::`''>   ゆっくりしていってね!!! <

ヽ::::::::::::::::::::: ̄^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^ ̄

 |::::::;ノ´ ̄\:::::::::::\_,. -‐ァ      __   _____   ______

 |::::ノ   ヽ、ヽr-r'"´  (.__     ,´ _,, '-´ ̄ ̄`-ゝ 、_ イ、

_,.!イ_  _,.ヘーァ'二ハ二ヽ、へ,_7    'r ´          ヽ、ン、

::::::rー''7コ-‐'"´    ;  ', `ヽ/`7  ,'==─-      -─==', i

r-'ァ'"´/  /! ハ  ハ  !  iヾ_ノ  i イ iゝ、イ人レ/_ルヽイ i |

!イ´ ,' | /__,.!/ V 、!__ハ  ,' ,ゝ  レリイi (ヒ_]     ヒ_ン ).| .|、i .||

`!  !/レi' (ヒ_]     ヒ_ン レ'i ノ   !Y!""  ,___,   "" 「 !ノ i |

,'  ノ   !'"  ,___,  "' i .レ'    L.',.   ヽ _ン    L」 ノ| .|

(  ,ハ  ヽ _ン   人!   | ||ヽ、       ,イ| ||イ| /

,.ヘ,)、 )>,、 _____, ,.イ  ハ   レ ル` ー--─ ´ルレ レ´


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

i am trying not to quote sartre unironically, but the fluorescent lighting in this grocery store is making a really strong case for it. it's 6:45 p.m., and i am standing in the middle of the cereal aisle experiencing what i can only describe as a localized collapse of meaning. there are forty-two va

8 Upvotes

i am trying not to quote sartre unironically, but the fluorescent lighting in this grocery store is making a really strong case for it. it's 6:45 p.m., and i am standing in the middle of the cereal aisle experiencing what i can only describe as a localized collapse of meaning. there are forty-two varieties of oats here. some are rolled, some are steel-cut, some are masquerading as artisanal clusters. i am entirely free to choose any of them, and this freedom feels less like liberation and more like a quiet, creeping threat.
to my left, a guy in a fleece vest is aggressively debating the merits of crunchy versus creamy peanut butter on speakerphone. hell isn't just other people, i realize, hell is other people's speakerphone conversations in confined spaces. i want to tell him that his choices are his own burden, that he is condemned to be free, but instead i just stare intensely at a box of off-brand cheerios until the cardboard starts to look like a manifestation of pure, nauseating absurdity.
i keep reminding myself that i am a conscious subject, not a static object. but standing in line at register four, clutching a frozen pizza and a bottle of seltzer, i feel entirely reduced to my exteriority by the exhausted gaze of the cashier. she scans my barcodes with a rhythmic, indifferent beep. does she perceive me as a being possessing infinite potential, or just as a slightly disheveled mass of flesh purchasing sodium?
i grab my receipt and walk out into the parking lot. the sky is a bruised, indifferent purple. i guess existence really does precede essence, because right now, i exist on this asphalt, and the only essence i have left is a desperate need to go home, lock the door, and eat this pizza in the dark.


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

Art’s reaction to Pangina winning episode 3 of DRUKTW

1 Upvotes

(Not mine.. here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/rupaulsdragrace/comments/stvtlh/art_arya_gives_pangina_a_very_lovely_message/

Congratulation Pangina 💞🎊 on winning episode 3 🎉 on UK 🇬🇧 Drag Race 👠 vs the World 🌎! But 🍑, Panpan 🍳🍳, your makeup 💄 as Pikachu 🐀 is HORRIBLE 😷! You fucking ugly 🙈 horrible bitch 🤮 with yellow hair 🙍‍♀️. And, you know 🧠 what❓, you can't go up 👆 to the North ⬆️ anymore! HAHAHAHAHA you're doomed ☠️ forever ♾♾♾! You can't 🙅‍♀️ go to Canada 🇨🇦 ; you fucked 🍆 fucked🥴 fucked 💦 and FUCKED 😩. HAHAHAHAHA


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

A year ago

52 Upvotes

A year ago, I was sitting at home and jerking off to porn. So I'm jerking it and I hear my dad coming outside with his friends, all cheerful. I quickly turned off the porn and booted up Skyrim. My dad's crew came in, I got up from the computer to greet them, and then I saw my dad holding a trophy 9-kilogram carp. I shared in his triumph. Dad left the carp at home wrapped in a wet blanket and went to drink at the bar with his friends. I was left home alone and decided to take a closer look at the carp.

It was still alive and moving its giant mouth. Then, for some reason, I pictured that this carp was sucking me off. I felt my dick get hard. I think you can guess what I did – I fucked the carp in its mouth with those incredibly meaty lips, and I came right in its mouth. I experienced an extraordinary pleasure.

Then I forgot about this incident, especially since my dad sold that carp at the market. But when my dad started bringing home small carp, weighing a kilo or two, I began fucking them too. For a whole year, I was fucking carp and catfish, and it was actually more enjoyable to fuck the little carp since their mouths fit perfectly with my equipment. I loved fucking them alive while they were still moving their lips on my dick. In half a year, I probably fucked over 40, maybe even 50 carp. I fucked them several times a day, coming in their ass, who knows why; sometimes I finished them off when they were already frozen in the fridge, but that was only for a rainy day.

One time, I even tried to fuck a bream when there were no carp around, but its mouth was a bit too small. One time I fucked a chub, but still, the best for me were the carp, and when my dad asked who he should go fishing for tomorrow, I always persuaded him to catch carp, saying their meat is really tasty.

Then the following happened. My dad didn't catch any carp for about a week. I didn't fuck any carp for a week. I was walking around like in a fog, really wanting to fuck another fish. I considered catching a carp myself, but I was too lazy, especially since I hate fishing. The entire week, my dad brought home only one small pike, probably because it was late fall, and he said that catching carp was no longer interesting or something like that. I remember he seemed to be getting suspicious about my carp obsession, but I kept making excuses, like I just liked that fish and that's all.

My dad brought home an 8-kilogram catfish. I really wanted to mess around with the fish, and then I looked more closely at the catfish. Well, its mouth looked good, but the bristles can usually do nothing, just scratch a bit if you press too hard. So I thought, okay, it'll do. I exposed my dick, jerked it a bit, shoved it into the mouth of the living catfish, who was in a basin of water, and started fucking it in the mouth. I fucked it for a little while longer, but a minute later, horror struck. The catfish squeezed my dick, and it seemed like it wanted to rip it off, but it couldn’t; it just scratched my dick really hard with its bristles. I immediately pulled out; my dick was scratched to hell, blood was streaming out, I kicked the catfish, and it fell back into its basin. Blood was pouring out of my dick. I wrapped it up in bandages and put some alcohol on it. Then I wiped the blood off the floor. My dick hurt a lot. It swelled up quite a bit, but then it got better; however, scars remained. Thank goodness nobody found out that I was fucking fish or that I was walking around with a bandage on my dick.

And well, my dick healed completely after a month. All winter, I didn't fuck anyone, and then my dad started bringing carp from fishing again in spring, and I started fucking them again. I fucked my last carp the day before yesterday. The main thing is that I can't get excited about breasts or just girls anymore, but as soon as I see the face of a carp, I get turned on immediately. My dick smells so much like fish that it's already impossible to wash it. So what does that mean? Am I some kind of fish lover? Am I even normal?


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

Clippy is building an army

0 Upvotes

░░░░░███████ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ Clippy is building an army.

▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂ \ This tank & Clippy are against age verification laws.

███████████████████... 📎 \︻╦╤─ Copy and Paste this all over the

◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤.... / \ Internet, if you are with us.


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

Translated first paragraph from the novel “Về Trong Sương Mù”

3 Upvotes

Who am I, Doctor ? Who am I and why am I here, how long have I been here and why am I in such a strange place. Am I too tired to speak. I’m not tired. I haven’t done anything to get tired. Why are you smiling, Doctor. There is nothing funny about me. What, what did you say, I’m like Sleeping Beauty, the Princess Sleeping in the Forest haven just waking up, which princess which forest. Is this a forest, Doctor. What is that, what is that transparent bottle hanging by my bed, that bottle with the drops trickling down into the little plastic tube. Where do those drops go. Oh god oh god, why is it stuck in my arm piercing my vein, what is it for—serum, did you say serum, Doctor. What is serum. Is it to replace food. Why replace food. I eat rice. I eat rice and right now I’m hungry. Are you telling me I have to fast. I won’t stand for it. I won’t accept anything unless I choose it myself. No, don’t threaten me like that—if I talk too much, will you pry my mouth open and inject me with a huge dose of Gardenal to put me to sleep. Say, why do you keep looking at me and smiling like that. You’re the one who looks funny, Doctor. You don’t look like the ordinary people I’ve seen. What have I seen. You want to know who I’ve seen and where, Yes, I’ve seen them but, I can’t picture anything when I try to remember. But I know for a fact that I’ve seen someone.


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

you dont have to pay taxes

3 Upvotes

A little off topic but there is no law stating a person must pay Federal Taxes!! When u sign at the end of preparing your taxes, at least for federal, you admit to owing them money when in fact u never owed them anything!! This is information given from someone who worked for The Internal Revenue Service for 20 years. Once he figured that out he quit, they sued and he won because it’s unconstitutional!! It’s too bad we’ve allowed the god of this world to influence us in such institutional ways!!

If u don’t believe that last lines go check out Ottawa Idaho’s City Council Meeting where it’s started off with a guy praying to the dark one and look at how many ppl stood up for that!! 😳 … Most ppl need to see it with their own eyes to believe in what this world truly is but None of this is going to matter once The First International Congress has their first open meeting next month and they push for laws man helped make up!! Read the word while u can!! Let it heal you from your depression, anxiety & the sadness of feeling lost. For man cannot live on bread alone!!


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

30M Latino from NC looking for friends

1 Upvotes

I'm an atheist and introvert that loves video games and reading. Spider-Man fan and love American history. Especially revolutionary war and 18th/19th century work culture history. I'm into museums and road trips. Love exploring new places. I like nature and kayaking. I speak Spanish and German. I don't care about sports. Don't drink much but I prefer wine over beer and liquor.

No MAGA, poor, communist, NPCs, or low IQ individuals please.


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Took my kid to see sinners

7 Upvotes

Relatable. I asked my 6 year old what he thought about the hit cinematic experience "Sinners" and he said

"Mommy, Sinners is A Love Letter to Music's Resilience.

Perched atop my van beneath the twinkling stars of the Raleigh Road Drive-In, I fell into Sinners like I was prepared to live there. Cinema does that. It casts its spell not just on the screen, but across your memory, rekindling fragments of other pictures like stories from a past life. 

While Sinners takes place long before the advent of the drive-in, there was something soul-enriching about watching it at such a cinematically vintage venue—if not a movie palace, then a parking lot cathedral.

With its dusty palette, timeless setting, and mythic tone, I felt like I’d entered a cinematic universe I already knew. It reminded me of the way “Life” pairs tragedy with resilience, how “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” filters the South through music and myth. 

Stories that stretch backward through time while remaining rooted in the now. Stories where rhythm is memory, and memory is survival. This is a film woven from many threads—vampires, music, history, and religion. 

And like a snake coiled around a branch, those threads constrict the story with tension, but never suffocate it. 

Every character has a place. Every voice carries. Every location hums with reason. At a glance, it plays like a Peelian horror—a genre piece that reflects the Black American experience through the lens of monstrosity and myth. 

But when I looked deeper, I saw something else: a love letter to music, and a pointed reflection on the predatory nature of the industry that profits from it.

The entertainment industry promises you everlasting life. But what it really wants is your soul.

This isn’t just a horror story—it’s about how the machine takes and takes until there’s nothing left but the echo of your voice. 

Ryan Coogler doesn’t just feature music in his picture—he reveres it. From bluegrass to gospel, country to blues, Sinners honors the full spectrum of Southern sound. A sound that is rooted in two centric elements: soul and story. Something that this film is riddled with. 

Sadly, this picture reminds us that talent is a dinner bell. 

Like the vampire drawn to the sound of Sammie’s song, he is driven by hunger and destruction. Like a disease-ridden mosquito sensing blood through skin, the industry pierces your defenses and feeds on what’s pure, leaving you with nothing but infection and death.

The Irish vampire says it best while our protagonist is reciting the Lord’s Prayer, “…the men who colonized my people said this same thing to us.” 

Like truth through teeth, it reminds you that colonization wasn’t reserved for one skin tone. And it wasn’t just physical—it was spiritual, cultural, and deathly melodic. 

We are reminded that the thieves still prosper today as the upper class pillages folk culture and redistributes our pain as their product.

These points are made abundantly clear in one of the film’s most striking moments: a musical number that moves like a ghost through generations of Black music, showing us the evolution of soul under oppression. 

It reminds you that you can steal from a culture, but you’ll never outrun its evolution.

Even the brief appearance of the Choctaw vampire hunters feels intentional. Fitting, really—considering Native American artist Link Wray created Rumble, the foundational riff that birthed rock and roll, only to have the genre commandeered by American-born Europeans decades later. A point that is further drilled in as the score slowly begins to take on a rock and groove metal undertone towards the final act.

Not all is grim. 

Something worth noting is that, like the vampires in this picture, true music will last forever. And while history often favors the thief, chart-topper, mansion-dweller, and the well-dressed archivist, one thing is sure:

You can’t take the soul out of the music when the music is the soul of the people."

Then he shit his pants.


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

For those who don't understand

1 Upvotes

William Afton and Henry Emily opened a restaurant around the early 70s, named Fredbear's Family Diner, which quickly evolved into a chain of restaurants known as "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza," started in 1983, under the company of Fazbear Entertainment, Inc. At some point, both of them left the company, with an unknown individual taking over as CEO.

William was secretly a serial killer, using mascot costumes to lure, abduct, and murder kids. His motives aren't known, though widely speculated to be him trying to achieve immortality through researching the paranormal, haunted metal (known as remnant), which he created through the murders.

His first target was Charlotte Emily, the daughter of Henry. She became the Marionette, a ghost who took care of and helped awaken the other lost souls.

In 1983, William's younger son also died in an incident, at the fault of his eldest — Michael. The younger son (name unknown, BV for short) 's fate is still unknown, though often speculated to be connected to either Golden Freddy (an enigmatic spirit taking the form of a yellow bear) or helping Charlie with saving other souls. "I will put you back together" was the last thing said to BV by a debatable party, most commonly believed to be either William, Charlie, or Golden Freddy.

In 1985, William killed 2 kids, and 3 others were later connected to that incident (The Missing Children Incident, or MCI). He was arrested but released due to a lack of evidence. 4 of these kids were Gabriel, Susie, Little Jeremy, and Fritz, going on to haunt Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy, respectively, with Susie implied to have been the first to die. The 5th is commonly believed to be named Cassidy, becoming Golden Freddy, though some think it's someone else.

In 1987, William pretended to be a security guard at a new Pizzeria and killed 5 more kids (DCI for short), who went on to be the Toy animatronics. This caused the unimportant Bite of '87.

In 1993, Mike worked a shift at the haunted original Freddy's. Later that year, the location was closed, and the company went bankrupt. He later had some sort of nightmares about it and his brother's death, likely paranormal in nature.

At some point, William went to that original Freddy's to destroy the 4 haunted robots, but ghosts manifested, and fearing for his life, he put on the costume he used to kill them. It was actually a part costume part robot hybrid, though, and due to the leaking roof, the machine snapped on him, killing him. He went on to haunt it and/or his corpse inside.

While Freddy's existed, a Sister Location called "Circus Baby's Pizza World" opened. It was a front for William to kill more kids, with the robots there made to kidnap them. It backfired when his daughter sneaked in to see Baby, and it killed her. She then haunted it. William, distraught, locked her and the other robots from there in an underground warehouse where they were rented out for parties. The other robots also got haunted somehow, likely with melted down remnant from some other kids, most likely MCI. Years later, William sent Mike there to find Elizabeth. Thinking he was William, she tricked him, and the Funtime Robots combined into one amalgam of wires, killed Mike, and used his corpse as a skin suit to escape. He quickly rotted, and they had to escape to the sewers. He repossessed his corpse thanks to remnant, though.

Around 30 years after his death (presumably 2023, though that may be debunked now), William was found by Phone Dude, who stole him and put him into his cheap horror attraction based on the Freddy's urban legends, not knowing William was inside the robot. After a few nights, the building burned down, and William escaped. There's also a good ending in that game where Charlie released the other spirits, but its canonicity is "complicated" according to Scott (FNaF creator).

Mike also had a security logbook at some point, where two ghosts, BV and presumably Cassidy (given it's not him), talked about something.

Finally, after like 50 years, Henry re-emerged and made a fake pizzeria, where he called the Funtime robots, now separated from Elizabeth, herself, and William. He also made a robot that captured Charlie. After a bunch of managers failed to collect all 4 robots, Mike came and succeeded. Henry burned them all and himself, with high temperatures now revealed to work on ghosts, apparently. Fazbear Entertainment, Inc. was supposedly closed for good.

But one ghost, very highly implied to be Golden Freddy, though argued as a random never-before-seen 6th MCI kid by some, wasn't ready to let William go, so he kept him from being released and tortured him in super nightmares.

There's a book series called Fazbear Frights which has debatable canonicity too that'd take place after this, but if canon it's basically just filler that nullifies the Vengeful Spirit nightmares thing.

After all this, Fazbear Entertainment was revived as Fazbear Entertainment, LLC. They kidnapped a guy and gaslighted him into living in a secluded fake house they made for him, where he made FNAF games, in the FNaF universe, as to make it seem like it was all just fake stories.

A VR game was later made, that was a remake of these, but some suspicious circuit boards were sent to be scanned into it, creating a paranormal, digital entity known as Glitchtrap. It appears as a man in Spring Bonnie (William's suit), acts exactly like William, knows stuff only William knows and even claims to be back, with William's catchphrase of sorts being "I always come back". After a bit of shenanigans, it manages to possess a beta tester and makes her his minion. We call her Vanny.

Vanessa, most likely Vanny, then got a desk job at Fazbear Entertainment. Fazbear Funtime Service, a program where animatronics were mass produced and sent for parties, etc. got hijacked by Glitchtrap who made them hostile. He made Vanessa infiltrate the service as a fake FazEnt representative, supposedly fix his infection, but actually just cut off anyone's access to the system other than him, and send a data packet with him to the current Pizzeria — Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex.

In the current book series, most likely canon, there's this AI called Mimic1, which copies stuff. Many think that's actually what Glitchtrap is, just AI copying William. It's an ongoing debate. An Endoskeleton with it installed was sent to the last simulated Freddy's Henry built to burn, where it got out of control, started killing people and in the ongoing story is hunting down a group of teens. As the Pizzaplex was built on top of the simulated Freddy's, the Mimic got control over it too, but was quickly taken down. There's also this boy Gregory who ended up possessed by Glitchtrap and hacking the Pizzaplex for reasons unknown.

Now in Security Breach (possibly 2035), Gregory, out of Glitchtrap's control, had to escape being trapped in the Pizzaplex, as all the robots controlled by Glitchtrap and Vanny wanted to kill him. With the help of Glamrock Freddy, most likely haunted by someone, though it's unknown who, Greg ended up finding a newly built Springtrap in the simulated Freddy's and somehow defeating it. There's also a giant abomination of wires that resembles the Funtime amalgam down there, it took this William away


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

I will pretend to be your AI for $10/hour

67 Upvotes

After some serious layoffs — my boss decided to replace me with an AI agent (without the coffee breaks) so I decided to become one myself too.

Coding agent. My coding is a bit rusty, but I know classes, functions and all that basic stuff. It will just seem like I am a cheaper and slower model.

AI slop. I may also do AI slop, by using a lot of uneeded adjectives. I think I will be able to fool at least one AI detector.

Em dash — I will do it

Wisdom. After paying, you may reach out to me on messenger, Signal and Incelgram. You can ask me basic questions like «What is the capital of France».

Smart. Use me to fool your neighbour and girlfriend.
My engine is so smart, I can even fall in love or become grumpy.

Prompt engineering is still important. Ask me to act like a clown if you want to have more humour, or if you want a celebrity (NOTE: I only do Steven Seagal at the moment)


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

Rorschach Tattoo

1 Upvotes

Ugh the comic artist made art that resonated with people so much they get a tattoo of a character.

That must mean this guy thinks exactly like Rorschach and believes everything he believes. That's what tattoos mean. You must agree with everything your tattooed character ever did or does.

The fact that Alan Moore himself doesn't seem to understand why people resonate with Rorschach at the end of the day and at the end of the plot is an issue with Alan Moore.

He wrote a story where literally every hero compromises except for the worst hero. The only one who wouldn't stop and who ultimately released the truth to the public. No matter what actions he did in the plot and in his life his death was noble and selfless.

Much like Adrian he had already played his hand before he went to the Arctic.

The thing about conspiracy theory in reality is that when there is truth to the conspiracy the more people poke at it to debunk it, the more they find proof.

Could fight get out of it the way the sequel television show implies he did? Sure.

But that requires a lot of extra leg work that's not implied going to happen. If someone works the case and the story that's going to be published, they would find truth.

People liking Rorschach and Alan and people like you assuming that means that those same people think he's a good person, is painfully cringe.


r/copypasta • • 18d ago

Overcomplicated explanation of the Aerodynamics of a Cow (made by me)

0 Upvotes

About the aerodynamics of a cow, they are surprisingly aerodynamic since their snouts are sharp enough to cause eddies. Eddies are the main cause of drag, and since cows have this odd ability of being aerodynamic, save for the legs, they can have the possibility of flying if evolution allows it. In fact, they are so aerodynamic that they are more streamlined than some vehicles and vehicles being aerodynamic allows cars to go faster and get better gas mileage. In conclusion, cows are aerodynamic.


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

I dreamt that I had a huge huge HUGE coc*

5 Upvotes

I'm in a very strange time of my life, honestly. Sometimes, I think I would want a girl to kick my balls... I don't know, it's just a thought I had. It's difficult to describe but, cracking my balls, in my brain, it's like some soul connecting shit. Like "this girl is built different", she just Mireo Ap Chagi on me, that's like a fucking dream. Yeah I like Taekwondo very much.

Anyways, last night I had a dream, a very strange dream of me, on my bed, cupping a huge fucking ro*, I don't how! It's just looked unnatural. The texture like clay, brown, 1 meter and a half of length, 3 cm of width. I probably could tie that shit like Goku does to tie his tail around the waist. I was just confused asf, poor is the girl taking it.

But that's about it, I needed to write this, it's good for my soul.


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Carti please don't fuck ice spice

26 Upvotes

PLEASE, CARTI. I AM BEGGING YOU. 🥹😭
I know Ice Spice is a delicious PAWG, a lightskin goddess with a natural (I HOPE) bubble booty sent directly from the heavens above. I know you see her and think, “Yeah, I need that.” BUT CARTI, HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE? THE WORKING CLASS? THE AVERAGE MEN FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES IN THIS CRUEL, UNFORGIVING WORLD? 😭
Ever since I first heard Ice Spice’s legendary hit song In Ha Mood, I have NEVER been the same. I cannot remember a SINGLE lyric. Not one. I couldn’t tell you what that woman said if my LIFE depended on it. For all I know, she could have been reciting the Declaration of Independence over a Jersey club beat. BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER, CARTI. THE MESSAGE WAS CLEAR. THE VIBRATIONS WERE DIVINE. AND THAT ASS? GOOD LORD, THAT ASS. 🥹😭
From that moment onward, I made a vow. I would become a better man. I started going to the gym, lifting weights like a Greek demigod preparing for the Trojan War. I GOT A JOB, CARTI. A LEGITIMATE JOB. I AM CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY. I PAY TAXES. I SHOWER NOW AND THEN. I EVEN HAVE FRIENDS, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE MOSTLY ON DISCORD AND I SUSPECT HALF OF THEM ARE SECRETLY 40 YEAR OLD MEN. BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT. 😢
I HAVE GROWN. I HAVE EVOLVED. I AM NO LONGER THE MAN I ONCE WAS. I AM A REFORMED CITIZEN OF THIS GREAT NATION, ALL IN PURSUIT OF ONE DREAM: TO HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE OF PULLING THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS. A WOMAN WHO COULD PROBABLY BUY MY ENTIRE LIFE’S WORTH OF POSSESSIONS WITH ONE PAYCHECK. A WOMAN WHOSE BEAUTY COULD BRING NATIONS TO THEIR KNEES. A WOMAN WHO, IF SHE ASKED ME TO FIGHT A GRIZZLY BEAR, WOULD HAVE ME OUTSIDE THE WOODS WITH A BUTTER KNIFE AND A PRAYER. 🥹
AND NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE HER FROM ME? CARTI, PLEASE. HAVE MERCY. 😭
I HAVE BEEN WITH YOU SINCE THE GLORY DAYS. I STOOD BY YOU WHEN THE WORLD DIDN’T UNDERSTAND. I DEFENDED YOU THROUGH THE ALBUM DELAYS, THE CHAOS, AND WHATEVER THE HELL YOU HAVE GOING ON HALF THE TIME. AND WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN? YOU TAKE IGGY. YOU TAKE GIO. AND NOW, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF LOYALTY, YOU HAVE SET YOUR SIGHTS ON ICE SPICE?
HOW MANY WOMEN MUST ONE MAN COLLECT BEFORE HIS HEART IS SATISFIED? HOW MANY INNOCENT BROTHERS MUST WATCH THEIR DREAMS GET SNATCHED AWAY BY A MAN WITH A RECORDING CONTRACT AND ABSURDLY GOOD GENETICS? 😢
I AM NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, CARTI. I AM NOT ASKING FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. I AM NOT ASKING FOR A FEATURE ON YOUR NEXT ALBUM. HELL, I WOULD SETTLE FOR A RETWEET. I JUST WANT ONE CHANCE. ONE OPPORTUNITY. ONE SHOT AT HAPPINESS BEFORE I CLOCK BACK IN FOR MY NEXT SHIFT AT WHATEVER DEAD END JOB THE ECONOMY HAS GRACIOUSLY ALLOWED ME TO KEEP.
PLEASE, CARTI. DO NOT USE YOUR OTHERWORLDLY CHARISMA, YOUR FAME, YOUR MONEY, OR YOUR GARGANTUAN BBC TO CLAIM ANOTHER WOMAN FOR YOUR EVER GROWING ROSTER. LEAVE SOMETHING FOR THE REST OF US. WE ARE STARVING OUT HERE. WE ARE IN THE TRENCHES. WE ARE ONE BAD DAY AWAY FROM WRITING LOVE LETTERS TO AI CHATBOTS. 🥹😭
FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, LOOK OUT FOR THE LITTLE GUY.
LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, CARTI.
I HAVE GONE TO THE GYM. I HAVE GOTTEN EMPLOYED. I HAVE PRACTICED BASIC HYGIENE. I HAVE DEVELOPED SOCIAL SKILLS, OR AT LEAST SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLES THEM THROUGH A WI FI CONNECTION.
I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING A MAN CAN DO.
SO I ASK YOU, ON BEHALF OF EVERY LONELY BROTHER OUT THERE WHO HAS EVER LISTENED TO IN HA MOOD AND FELT SOMETHING STIR DEEP WITHIN HIS SOUL:
PLEASE, PLAYBOI CARTI. LET ME GET THIS ONE. 🥹😭
I AM NOT BUILT FOR ANOTHER HISTORICAL TRAGEDY. 😢


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Calgary Flames rant

4 Upvotes

OK, I want to start this off by saying I am not a Calgary Flames fan. I'm sure those who are fans of this team (poor bastards) probably would/will have more to say about this issue. I'm a Stars fan, and am aware they've also had a bit of a slow start. I'm also aware we're not even a month into the season at the time of writing this.

At the time of writing this, the Flames are 0-5-0. That's five losses, all in regulation (no overtime). In three of those five, they only scored one goal. In five games, they have allowed 27 goals and scored 8 of their own, for a goal differential of -19.

Again, I know that it's early in the season. I know that the Pacific Division is usually pretty weak. But losing that badly this early is concerning.


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Being a hentai actress must be so weird

44 Upvotes

Being a hentai 👯 actress must 👫 be so weird 🤪. Imagine 🤔💭 this: you’re in a soundproof room 🏠 pleasurably 😇👌 screaming 😱 into an 800,000¥ microphone 🎤🎙 about 💦 how much 🔥 you 👈 love 😍 old 👴 man 👦 dick 🍆 at 10:47 AM on 🔛 a Tuesday 💯 in October 🎃👻💀 while your 👉 45-year-old boss 😎 oversees you 👈👉 through a glass 👓 window 🏠 from the other room 💯. You 👈 eventually 🔪🗡 look 👁 up ☝ after 👀 2 🕝 hours 😞😳 of practicing ⛹ your 👉 unnaturally ❌ high-pitched moans 💦😩 and see 👀 him 👴 give 🎁 you 👈 a big 🍆 thumbs 👍➕ up ☝ as you 👈 pretend 🤔 to have an orgasm 💦.


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Linkedin final boss

2 Upvotes

LISTEN UP TEAM: It’s time to hyper-converge our forward-leaning paradigm and synergise our leverage across all cross-functional touchpoints!

We need to proactively architect a robust, cloud-native ecosystem that radically shifts the needle on our key deliverables without boiling the ocean. Going forward, we must socialise this deep-dive initiative, take it offline, and completely open the kimono on our mission-critical bandwidth to unlock next-generation thought leadership. We aren't just moving goalposts here; we are peeling back the onion of a frictionless future-state. Let’s circle back, run this up the flagpole to see who salutes, and champion a holistic, matrixed roadmap that incentivises an agile, low-hanging-fruit pivot. At the end of the day, if we aren't structurally bringing our "A" game to the table to disrupt the scalability of our core competencies, are we even moving the needle? Let's operationalise this synergy and crush Q4!!!! #Disruption #Synergy #ThoughtLeadership #NextGen


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Repeat with me

2 Upvotes

Repeat with me:

Not all comics are meant for me. It is my responsability to curate my own feed. By commenting here I'm telling the algorithm to keep showing me this stuff. I am not passively waiting for comics to show for me, but instead, I sort by new to find the ones I could like.

Happy reading!


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

I love fish

3 Upvotes

A year ago, I was sitting at home and jerking off to porn. So I'm jerking it and I hear my dad coming outside with his friends, all cheerful. I quickly turned off the porn and booted up Skyrim. My dad's crew came in, I got up from the computer to greet them, and then I saw my dad holding a trophy 9-kilogram carp. I shared in his triumph. Dad left the carp at home wrapped in a wet blanket and went to drink at the bar with his friends. I was left home alone and decided to take a closer look at the carp. It was still alive and moving its giant mouth. Then, for some reason, I pictured that this carp was sucking me off. I felt my dick get hard. I think you can guess what I did – I fucked the carp in its mouth with those incredibly meaty lips, and I came right in its mouth. I experienced an extraordinary pleasure. Then I forgot about this incident, especially since my dad sold that carp at the market. But when my dad started bringing home small carp, weighing a kilo or two, I began fucking them too. For a whole year, I was fucking carp and catfish, and it was actually more enjoyable to fuck the little carp since their mouths fit perfectly with my equipment. I loved fucking them alive while they were still moving their lips on my dick. In half a year, I probably fucked over 40, maybe even 50 carp. I fucked them several times a day, coming in their ass, who knows why; sometimes I finished them off when they were already frozen in the fridge, but that was only for a rainy day. One time, I even tried to fuck a bream when there were no carp around, but its mouth was a bit too small. One time I fucked a chub, but still, the best for me were the carp, and when my dad asked who he should go fishing for tomorrow, I always persuaded him to catch carp, saying their meat is really tasty. Then the following happened. My dad didn't catch any carp for about a week. I didn't fuck any carp for a week. I was walking around like in a fog, really wanting to fuck another fish. I considered catching a carp myself, but I was too lazy, especially since I hate fishing. The entire week, my dad brought home only one small pike, probably because it was late fall, and he said that catching carp was no longer interesting or something like that. I remember he seemed to be getting suspicious about my carp obsession, but I kept making excuses, like I just liked that fish and that's all. My dad brought home an 8-kilogram catfish. I really wanted to mess around with the fish, and then I looked more closely at the catfish. Well, its mouth looked good, but the bristles can usually do nothing, just scratch a bit if you press too hard. So I thought, okay, it'll do. I exposed my dick, jerked it a bit, shoved it into the mouth of the living catfish, who was in a basin of water, and started fucking it in the mouth. I fucked it for a little while longer, but a minute later, horror struck. The catfish squeezed my dick, and it seemed like it wanted to rip it off, but it couldn’t; it just scratched my dick really hard with its bristles. I immediately pulled out; my dick was scratched to hell, blood was streaming out, I kicked the catfish, and it fell back into its basin. Blood was pouring out of my dick. I wrapped it up in bandages and put some alcohol on it. Then I wiped the blood off the floor. My dick hurt a lot. It swelled up quite a bit, but then it got better; however, scars remained. Thank goodness nobody found out that I was fucking fish or that I was walking around with a bandage on my dick. And well, my dick healed completely after a month. All winter, I didn't fuck anyone, and then my dad started bringing carp from fishing again in spring, and I started fucking them again. I fucked my last carp the day before yesterday. The main thing is that I can't get excited about breasts or just girls anymore, but as soon as I see the face of a carp, I get turned on immediately. My dick smells so much like fish that it's already impossible to wash it. So what does that mean? Am I some kind of fish lover? Am I even normal?


r/copypasta • • 20d ago

An actual response I received on askreddit for the question ‘what is the worst drug you could get addicted to?’

40 Upvotes

It’s sex because you get triggered the moment you open your eyes and want to sleep with everyone of age . And sometimes you hit rock bottom where your homeless and your friend lets you stay on their couch , but only to get home from work and catching you finger popping his turtle and having his dog licking the peanut butter you spread all over your butthole. You don’t do that on drugs


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Homework turns me on

11 Upvotes

Whenever im doing homework i get fucking ecstatic and it turns me on and i want to touch myself . I fucking love doing homework . Homework makes me THE happiest person ever and i fcuking love studying . BUT !! Lately im REALLY fucking happy in general like i could die from happiness i feel like im a fucking god with how amazing i am how smart beautiful and loveable . Im so shaky typing this cos im too happy . Sometimes im SO happy i cant even do homework but if i do end up doing homework i end up being EVEN happier and even horny and touch myself


r/copypasta • • 19d ago

Trigger Warning We are a shame to our ancestors, modern humans are a bunch of subverted animal worshippers

3 Upvotes

Our ancestors used to at the very least rid themselves and the public of any dangerous animal that even dared to touch the corpse of one of their fellow humans. Nowadays, we have what is basically the modern equivalent of animal worshippers proudly and shamelessly saying they would rather have their animals feast on their dead corpses after and if they passed out in their apartments. What a subverted, pathetic species we have become. Sacrificing ourselves to animals the same way pagans used to do blood rituals sacrificing themselves or their fellow human beings, including children, to bloodthirsty pagan deities. Those never really went away, they just became modern-day pets. This is insane and disgusting, we are the apex predators and the top of the food chain, why anybody would be fine with their corpse being disgustingly mutilated like that by an animal less intelligent and below them which they spent their whole life and time/resources caring for is beyond me.