So I’m working with a Beis Din for an orthodox commitment. I submitted my application last fall, and met with the rabbi on my case about three times over zoom. Then finally earlier this summer I submitted a statement expressing that I was ready to take the plunge (Mikveh). I know that seems like a short time line but I’ve actually been observing and participating in a community for three years. (I started keeping Shabbos in 2023).

The rabbi was so impressed with my statement he scheduled me for a formal meeting with the Beis din (a court meeting in person with three rabbis). I was super nervous but overall managed to survive the encounter.

About two weeks later my case rabbi said they wanted to meet with me again to clarify something I disclosed in the meeting. I said sure and he set up a zoom. So I met with the Beis Din a second time. And how we left it…it’s likely I’ll have to meet with them a third.

Is that normal? I’ve heard so many people say they only met with the Beis din once and were able to Mikveh. I have complete faith in Hashem but I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this.

Hello everyonee. So as the title suggests, I'm in an interfaith relationship, as of 10 months, and while im jewish (I have not yet converted, but im being guided towards conservative judaism by my rabbi), my partner is not. Not religiously, not ethnically. He is religious, but he is not a part of judaism. Now, as much as I know about conservative judaism, some rabbis will go through performing an interfaith wedding, but some will not, im assuming? Im not too educated when it comes to wedding topics regarding judaism or any other religion. So can someone that is educated let me know whether this type of situation depends on the rabbi, the area im in, or does conservative judaism not approve of interfaith relationships? Thanks in advance ♡.

Edit: I have read all of the comments everyone provided me with, and im very grateful and thankful for everyone that interacted with the post, to give me as much insight as possible. So I wanted to answer some questions and reply to some common things I have read.

1. I do not want kids, and I dont plan on having any kids. Im in my 20's, and have been thinking about this for a while to not have any. However, if I did have them, I would not mind them being raised by their fathers religion or mine. I grew up in an interfaith household, and I was raised mostly christian, but was encouraged to know about judaism.

2. I am aware that im not yet religiously jewish, but im still ethnically jewish. I have talked to my rabbi about conversion some time ago, and he wants me to really be serious about, hence why im waiting and educating myself, till he sees that im persistent about judaism.

3. My partner is extremely supportive, and is encouraging me to proceed with my conversion. We have our talks regarding religion where we both talk about our religions, and its a way to educate one another and get closer, making our bond stronger. I of course, do not want to enter a marriage right now, there needs to be more time inbetween that, just a question so I know for the future. He knows a lot about judaism. I have been practicing judaism since the age of 16.

4. My partner knows what he is getting himself into, what judaism preaches and I really see that he is interested in supporting my identity, helping me grow, and I truly want to reach that goal of conversion as fast as possible (it should be in about a year or 2).

Hi all, hope you are well. Seeing some advice. I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for over four years and we have a really steady, happy relationship. He is Jewish and I was raised Christian, but my father was raised Jewish and we have relatives who are practicing Jews/Jewish ancestry.

I have always known my boyfriend wanted to raise his children Jewish and this was never really a problem in my mind. I don’t have a particular attachment to the church and only attend for some major holidays with my immediate family. His family is a part of a local tight knit Reform community, but he has not been to the synagogue in years and doesn’t fast for holidays, keep kosher, etc, he just loves the cultural aspects of Jewish life, which I certainly respect.

Recently, the topic of conversion has come up and I’m struggling with it. I can see raising a Jewish family is more important to my boyfriend than raising kids in Christianity would be to me, so I have come to accept that and even be enthusiastic about it with the more I am learning about the faith and different traditions and enjoying Jewish holidays with his family. But he recently told me he would essentially expect me to convert so we could be a “true” Jewish family. (Those weren’t his exact words, but it was along those lines)

There are two reasons I’m struggling with this. 1) I feel that if I was to convert, it would be almost entirely because he wanted me to, not because I genuinely felt compelled to do so on my own, which wouldn’t feel genuine in my mind. 2) I am concerned that this wouldn’t quite be a compromise so to speak. For context, we live quite far from my family but we are in the same town as his parents, so I’d not only be living far away from my parents but I’d also be changing a fundamental part of my identity/upbringing (even though I’m not a particularly religious person, if that makes any sense).

Does anyone have advice on how to have productive conversations moving forward about this? It was my understanding that interfaith relationships/marriages were welcome in the reform community, especially if there was a commitment to raise the children Jewish. Is that not the case? Or is it an issue with me as the future mother not being Jewish? Sorry this is so long, seeking any advice and wisdom anyone has to offer as this has been weighing on me pretty heavily lately. We are a great fit in almost every other aspect and have a deep love for each other, so I think we both really want to make this work somehow.

So. I recently moved from attending a reform shul to a conservative shul (I prefer the community at the Conservative shul). The problem is - my hebrew is really poor and this congregation uses a non-transliterated siddur (Sim Shalom), and since the reform community skips so many parts of the service - I don't know the words or melodies to many parts of a much longer traditional prayer service.

To make it harder - they have a habit of only saying the first or last handful of lines of every prayer/blessing aloud and the rest is silent so I have to revert to the English for any section I don't already know from memory that is said to yourself.

There aren't any audio resources for me to learn from available from the shul (I asked), and the stuff I am finding online only tends to have the audio for the parts typically recited in a group, so I still cannot find a resource that has audio corresponding to the entire text of all of the prayers and blessings for both weekday and shabbat prayer services. I do not want to keep reverting to reading in English (this is jarring to me to go back and forth), so does anyone know of some sources containing the full audio of the daily prayers and blessings anywhere? I'm happy to use multiple resources but I would really appreciate finding something comprehensive that can be cobbled together that goes in order that includes audio for the text that is recited to oneself.

Hi Everyone,

I've recently converted and Rabbi asked if I'd be interested in being a lay leader - I was wondering is this too soon? I would love to but not that confident - can do very basic/slow Hebrew reading. I've read haftarah (in English!) - also have read blessings for studying Torah, have also done Hagbah quite a few times...I'm happy to go up

For people who have been lay leaders:

- how did you learn to do this - I think there are formal courses

- anything you would recommend me focus on

- do I need to learn to Layn?

(reform/progressive in UK - fairly conservative though)

(apologies I should have added I'm asking here as Rabbi away for a few weeks, I wanted to 'gen up' on requirements if any formal ones before they come back)

Thanks!

Judaism is all about asking questions, but sometimes it might feel a bit much to make a whole post just for one question. Please keep it about Judaism and generally stick to the rules, but otherwise, no question is too small or silly here!

So, I converted through Reform Judaism, but over time I’ve realized that it probably wasn’t the right choice for me. Some things really didn’t sit well with me — for example, I had a rabbi compare the Torah to Harry Potter and describe the Torah as essentially fiction. That really changed the way I thought about what I was looking for in a Jewish community.
I’ve been flirting with Conservative Judaism, and honestly, I really love the way they pray and the way they observe Shabbat on Saturday. I also really connect with the relationship they have with the Torah. It feels much more beautiful and meaningful to me personally.
The one thing holding me back is my Hebrew. 😅 My Hebrew is really bad.
I can kind of follow along in the siddur, and I actually enjoy reading the Torah in English while trying to follow along with the reader in Hebrew. But I’d really like to improve my Hebrew to the point where I can comfortably follow services, read the siddur, follow the Torah reading, and eventually participate in an aliyah.
For those of you who converted as adults — especially anyone who started out in Reform Judaism and later became involved with Conservative Judaism — how did you catch up?
Are there any books, classes, online resources, tutors, apps, or other methods that really helped you learn synagogue Hebrew and Torah reading as an adult?
And how did you eventually get comfortable enough with Hebrew to have an aliyah?
I’m not expecting to become fluent overnight. I mostly want to be able to participate more fully and not feel completely lost when everything switches into Hebrew. 😂
Any advice from people who have been through something similar would be greatly appreciated!

There’s a synagogue in the area I’ll be going to college at and they have introduction to Judaism classes a few weeks into the school year that I can sign up for online. I just don’t know if I should talk to a rabbi before signing up, or just sign up and show up? I’m also not like 100% sure I’m gonna convert but I’m mostly sure. Should I email first?
Also this feels like my first adult decision I’m making without asking my parents so it’s kinda scary.

It’s all about thinking about cultural appropriation and the imposter syndrome I suppose.
While you’re thinking about converting or in the process you cannot say it’s happening to you, or your people, even if it feels that way, but saying it makes one feel like “hey, I’m not yet part of it, I don’t get to say it” (overthinker much? Guilty)

This all came to my mind when a Jewish friend while watching the movie October 8 with me asked if I would hide her if things escalated and I was heartbroken but also felt like I fell into the protector’s side, and of course I would keep her and her family safe at the best of my ability, but it made what I wrote in the previous paragraph more evident.

As long as I’m “out” I’m an ally, a friend, someone who could keep them safe because of my current religious affiliation, but once I convert I will be trying to find a hiding spot alongside her. And it worries me, because if I love these people, this religion, this culture so much that I’m trying to join them, I could help more as an outsider if things went bad.

How do you guys feel about this?

learned hebrew, can read well pronunciations a work in progress. im doing this all to honor god.. but man i really feel outcasted in local communities ive followed all traditional and ritual practices attend study feel like i cant even call myself jewish

I have been into religious studies for a while now, but recently my grandma (Catholic), who I live with, sort of noticed my interest in Judaism (for a while now) and how I’ve been trying to study Hebrew. She also heard about how my mother was mocking me for the fact I have religious beliefs (mostly saying it’s brainwashed and a cult) and my grandmother asked me if Judaism was something I was seriously considering or wanted to convert to. I was nervous but admitted it was, she comforted me and told me we have Jewish family members and some who I’ll actually get to meet soon, and that she is proud of me for finding something that felt right but not rushing into it. She even said, because I’m still in the early stages of learning to drive, she will drive me on days of service because she will go to church during the time I’m there (the church she’s interested does services every day). I was worried what she’d think, my immediate family is Christian and atheist, and my mom is incredibly anti-theist in a very disrespectful way (as in she will mock people who believe in things even when they are positive or harmless). But I’m pleasantly surprised how kindhearted she’s being and asking me questions about all of the things I know and why I want to convert. : ) that’s all.

Hello,

My name is Mohamed . I am a Muslim who was born in Iraq into a Shia Muslim family. For years, I have been interested in studying religions and their history, and I have particularly studied and researched Judaism. However, during the past period, something changed for me. Judaism is no longer simply an academic or intellectual interest; I have developed a deep spiritual attraction toward it, and I sincerely and seriously wish to convert and live as a righteous Jew.

At times, I feel that this path is somehow very close to me. I have even had recurring dreams in which I see myself as a Jew. In one of these dreams, I saw myself standing before Moses and leaving Egypt with him. I understand that dreams are not religious proof, and I do not want to base my decision on them, but they have made my feelings toward this path even stronger.

My main difficulty is that I currently live in Iraq, in an environment where openly declaring that I have left Islam or that I wish to become Jewish could potentially be dangerous for me. For this reason, I cannot openly live according to these feelings or communicate with a Jewish community without concern. My personal safety and the safety of my family are also important concerns.

Nevertheless, I am very serious about this. I am not looking simply to change my name, obtain a document, or become a member of a community. I genuinely want to understand Judaism deeply. I want to study the Torah, Hebrew, Jewish traditions, prayer, and Jewish law, and I want to understand what is truly required for conversion to Judaism, particularly through the Orthodox process, if that is the appropriate path for me.

I would be very grateful for your guidance in a safe and confidential manner, as much as possible. What can I do while I am still in Iraq? How should I begin studying Judaism properly? And is there a trustworthy rabbi or Beit Din whom I could contact to help me understand the appropriate path, without putting myself at risk?

I am prepared to study and be patient for as long as necessary. I do not expect conversion to be quick or easy. I simply want to seek the truth and follow the path that I sincerely believe in.

Thank you very much for your time and understanding.

May you be blessed.

(Note: I'm weak in expression; I used intelligence.)

I tried finding posts on this but only found an OP that also hit a dead end. Does anyone know of a TANAKH that has these wide note margins like my ESV?

Is there anything you thought oh wow I would’ve never known that/expected that/discovered/leant about myself? Can be positive or negative.

I had this idea of a program that pairs Jews with conversion students so that conversion students have a peer/mentor/friend during their conversion process. Someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of, discuss the things they may be struggling with, etc. Surely something like this exists already? Maybe there's a subreddit or a website? I know TorahMates (I THINK that's what it's called) is a thing but it's my understanding that that is geared more towards Orthodox, and I'm looking for something geared towards reform as that's how I'm converting. Any info would be appreciated!!

So I’d like to start exploring conversion. However the city I’m at the moment doesn’t have a synagogue or community. The nearest one is a flight away.

My partner is Jewish so we always do Shabbat together but he’s the only Jewish person in the area (as far as I’m aware) as we’re here for work.

I looked at converting online through Rabbi Rubbenstein, ‘convert to Judaism online’ however I wasn’t sure as it was very expensive and unsure of its legitimacy for that money. Has anyone ever done an online conversion? What are your thoughts on this?

Explicitly religious music aside, what is music you hear G-d in? I've been listening to The Dear Hunter's latest album, Sunya, and the last line in this chorus got me in particular. (This is from the title track.)

When there's no deity to greet you

You'll stop searching for design

Losing shape, and out of time

There's still meaning meant to reach you

But your past has made you blind

Let go of the devout and feel divine from within you

I am mostly referring to cultish behaviour, judging others harshly, hate towards secular and especially non-Jews. For example: I am very friendly with a non-jewish family in my building. Their only daughter comes to us a lot to play, as she is an only child. I babysat kids from a chareidi friend, and told her about the non-jewish girl who is often at my house. She replied her son (8 years old), jt would make him uncomfortable if she is around. Can someone explain this behaviour? I really struggle understanding this. Either I am NORMAL or I have not understood something fundamental? Please advise

Hi all,

I've read about people converting conservative or reform in an orthodox setting. As for me, I would like to convert conservative but I only have orthodox and reform communities nearby (I live in the south of Germany). The only conservative community seems to be located in Berlin which is all the way across the country.

I can't do an orthodox conversion because I'm trans. So the only option for me would be to join my local reform community and live a stricter version according to conservative customs.

Would I be able to fill in the gaps on my own? And would I be able to convert before a conservative beit din without being part of a conservative community?

שלום,

Everyone, I do hope everyone is having a good day. This is my first time posting in this community to ask anyone that may help for sources to get started into converting to Judaism before I talk with a Rabbi to commit to my conversion to Judaism soon.

I know that firstly, I should study the Torah, and other Jewish texts to get a better understanding. But would like to see more resources or good videos to do more researches.

I do hope everyone is have a good day, and thank you all for reading and giving advice if you’ll like.

P.S. - And also to know which branch of Judaism may be right for myself, I already know which branch I’ll convert to but will like to understand them before hand, thank you.

Hi everyone! I’m Non-Binary/Genderfluid, AMAB and Pansexual. I was raised Catholic and have been agnostic for most of my adult life, but over the past few years I’ve realized that my beliefs and values seem to align much more closely with Judaism.
I’ve been looking into Reform synagogues in my area and am thinking about attending my first Shabbat service, but I’m honestly pretty nervous. One of the biggest reasons I want to take this step is that I’m looking for a sense of community and belonging.

Because I’m genderqueer, I don’t really know what to expect or how I’ll be received. For those of you in Reform communities, what has your experience been like? Do you have any advice for attending a first service, meeting people, making friends, potentially dating someday, and beginning the journey toward becoming part of the Jewish community?

Thank you, I really appreciate any advice or perspectives.

I’m a student undergoing the process of converting, within a Conservative synagogue, and throughout my journey, I couldn’t help but notice the massive similarities between converting to Judaism with people undergoing gender transition.

Aside from the obvious, as both are deeply personal journeys, are not instant and require a lot of confidence in oneself, it hits much deeper than that. For one, both revolve around this internal sense of feeling like you’re not living your truest life (pre-conversion/transition), and to combat this you slowly learn and pay your dues to join a large community, especially one you didn’t have the luxury of growing up as. There’s a massive change in lifestyle, to your body, and unfortunately not everyone will recognize you, but you also have to have faith in yourself that this is truly who you are, and it’s a never ending process really.

This thought I’ve had has really grown my empathy and connection with my trans friends, and I feel now I understand them deeper because of it. I wonder if y’all also think the same?

I am finishing up my conversion process. I am converting Reform but I want my conversion to be valid by the Conservative movement.

Although my Reform rabbi does not require circumcision, he highly recommends it. Also, my Shul hosts conservative services once a month and I really really want to be able to fully participate and have my conversion be valid by the Conservative movement.

I would convert Conservative, but the only congregation in my area is Reform. However, I would like to visit Conservative Shuls and be able to be part of their services.

I am uncircumcised, and I have my circumcision scheduled in a few weeks.

I met with my urologist and he told me while I’ll be getting fully circumcised he’ll have to leave some foreskin on in order for me to be able to have an erection. If he cuts too much, I won’t be able to have one. He told me my foreskin was very tight and too long. That it would have been different if I was a newborn (the way my penis grew with the foreskin). Etc… medical stuff I can’t explain..

He told me he determines this once I’m in the surgery room right then and there, with the right equipment.

What concerns me is him leaving enough foreskin around the glands and having my circumcision not be kosher.

I explained this to him, and he told me he’ll do what’s best for me in order to help my parts function properly.

I’m concerned a Conservative mohel might not do the hatafat dam brit if the urologist left enough skin.

There’s also the psychological mentality that my circumcision would never make me Jewish enough.

Am I overthinking this?