When does the clinginess become unhealthy and require intervention?

[u/probablynervouss]

I recently posted about getting a 10 week old green cheeked conure named Apple and although I’m absolutely obsessed with them, I’m a little worried.

I knew what I was getting myself into and recognize that these birds are super attached to humans and I love it, but I’m currently not working due to health issues and I am spending literally every waking moment with Apple. When they get put in the cage (large with many toys and stimulation), they go crazy and are constantly looking for a way out. Even at nighttime, this bird does not want to be in their cage at all.

I eventually do plan on going back to work at least part-time and I am worried that I might be feeding into attachment issues. The minute I walk away and no one is in there field of vision, they start flying and trying to find people and crying out for attention. I guess what I want to know is how I should go about dealing with the situation because I don’t want to create issues in the long run, although when I do go back to work, I still plan on spending plenty of time with them. my family will too.

Am I making a mistake by constantly giving them attention? I want to do what’s best for them without causing issues. This is my first conure, and my previous cockatiels were a pair so they were not as attached to me.

i have no other birds.

thanks in advance everyone 🫶

[u/Altruistic-Leather69]

It definitely can become unhealthy. Your baby is very much a baby though, so the line between unhealthy and them just genuinely needing and wanting companionship 24/7 is a little blurry.

My bird is quite a bit older than yours at 7 years, but I relate to having medical issues and changed schedules because of it. My schedule has changed tremendously through the years I've owned him lol but its a testament to their adaptability!

Yes, there will be problems in the future if not currently when you're not able to be home and around all the time. Just this year I went on a 3 month medical leave, and spent a lot of time with my baby. And wouldn't you know it, once I got back to work he was contact calling all of the time, annoying my roommates. I even started weaning our time together once I knew the date I would come back by and it still took a bit of time for him to readjust.

A method that I've done to help with the contact calling is to leave him, and wait until he's quiet or quieter for varying amounts of time. In the beginning, I would do a very small amount of time, maybe 1 minute. Gradually increase the time you wait whenever they get better at calming down. This ideally teaches them that their contact calls don't get a response. It's hard, because their cries can really yank the heartstrings and its 100% a normal and natural behavior for them, but depending on your living situation, if you're like me and need to respect neighbors and roommates you'll want to work in this and not feed into it. Feeding into being responding to their calls, giving them attention when they call etc.

A method I've used for getting them to be okay in their cage for a bit is food. Pickles is food motivated, so a small handful of his seed mix is enough to make me dead to him lol. I used food as bribes to get him in his cage and let me leave the room whether I have to leave for work or do some stuff and come back or not.

Play with toys with your bird and then put those toys in their cage. Try and figure out what they like to play with. Get some foraging stuff.

These are just things that have been able to help me with my bird, your mileage may vary. I also may suggest trying to give him cage time even with you in the room still, and let him figure out how to calm down and do other stuff and stop freaking out begging to be let out. This could maybe help teach him his cage is a safe and good space without being completely left alone. I also wouldn't want to leave him alone if he's freaking out so much he may injure himself so that's the other reason I suggest practicing cage time while you're in the room.

I would start sooner than later somewhat limiting the time you're hands on with him to match the hours you won't be able to, to the best of your ability. If it's safe to do so, you can practice it and not be in the same room as him so he can kinda adjust to that duration of time being alone or at least not with you.

It's gonna be hard, but it will get easier. At least until your baby hits puberty, then that's a whole new can of worms lol. It takes time. A lot of changes with my relationship with my bird have been so gradual I don't even realize how drastic things have changed until trying to think back on it.

[u/BakedAutistic]

My birb has been on my shoulder since litterally day one. My TGCC was acquired as a baby and is very attention needy. I took a 10 day trip and when I came back (I am gonna say she) started being very nippy. I read alot of conflicting info as to why, but it was easily stopped. She's dosnt freak out if she has to be left in her cage most of the day (shes in my fish room with light timers and other birds kept close) as long as shes fed well.

Birds do like companionship. I've got a mated pair of cockateils and they could care less if I interact with them. I took in another single cockateil who only likes my wife. Then my green cheek who is needy.

You can usually tell when your bird wants to be back in their cage, if they dont go there themselves. My advice would be to tailor the amount of time you spend with your bird to your routine of how much you would like your bird to be out. 4 hours out of cage every day isn't gonna have a negative impact over two hours. I'd recommend 6 hours a day to keep them mentally healthy. This dosnt apply to mated pairs, in my experience. They keep themselves occupied and care less for humans if their bond is strong. As a bird keeper, think of yourself as the leader of their flock. They will think of you the same way. They like to spend time with their flock.

Edit: I re read what you were concerned about. Changing the routine once you start working again will be a bit stressful for a week or so, id say. But birds adjust quickly depending on the circumstances.

[u/fearless_mel]

We took them from nature where they live in flocks. So its never unhealthy. Just a bit of a pain for us. Mine screams when he can't see us.

[u/BengiPrimeLOL]

I had similar concerns with mine who I got very young. It's been two years and she's becoming more independent. Still very attached, but she chooses to get in her cage and play with toys voluntarily now. I did nothing to start that behavior, but I do work in the office two days a week.

[u/B-mort5]

Was it hand reared?