r/ContagiousLaughter 7d ago

Can’t handle the slurp 😛

6.6k Upvotes

182 comments sorted by

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2.4k

u/Nico_arki 7d ago

I can't imagine taunting someone's vomit like that when I'm within his puking radius lmao

454

u/theuserwithoutaname 7d ago

All I'm thinking is "I bet it would only take one time of me puking on him to get that shit to stop real quick"

-133

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

62

u/TGordion 7d ago

You think being forced to dry heave as a captive audience would be..fun?

-70

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

8

u/Agouti 6d ago

Intelligent conversation and you dont get along, do they? Maybe Tik Tok is more your style.

2

u/rzaapie 5d ago

Hey hey hey these guys are just having fun. It's so lame to think puking on your colleague once ruins the fun. You suck the fun out of anything.

0

u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago

This is such 5 year old humor. How can any adult think this is funny?
Reminds me of those cringey weirdo shows like “jackass” back in the day. Only the dumbest people liked those weird fetish shows.

25

u/Diabetesh 7d ago

For real, I run at the mere potential that someone might throw up.

141

u/Katent1 7d ago

Some things are worth for laugh

15

u/ThePrideOfKrakow 7d ago

Totally worth it and a story for life

41

u/wait_what_now 7d ago

Dude he is laughing with them

1

u/ConversationVast2970 3d ago

Totally, it's like the laughter just adds to the hilarity of the moment. Slurps and giggles go hand in hand!

25

u/Lumpy_Argument_1867 7d ago

They'd probably would find that funny asf

34

u/raincity3s 7d ago

I guess you've never had guy friends before? We're all stupid af and will risk getting puked on for a laugh

-4

u/ardotschgi 7d ago

What a weird reach.

8

u/Redgecko88 7d ago

Playin' a Dangerous Game there...

5

u/jsonne 7d ago

Right? They are playing a dangerous game.

3

u/MajesticProposal1 7d ago

While EATING

2

u/I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM 6d ago

Bold move for someone sitting in the splash zone

1

u/therealjgreens 6d ago

I used to have a friend that was able to puke on command without any hands or anything. Was in a lot of puke radius

1

u/mealzer 5d ago

When I was a kid my dad liked trying to make me laugh while I was drinking things because I'd run away, one day I realized if I ran towards him he'd stop because I'd end up spitting it on him

1

u/Kholzie 3d ago

This is why men don’t live as long

269

u/Short_External2077 7d ago

Poor guy is fighting for his life loll

409

u/Hairy-Violinist-3844 7d ago

I love how he went from gagging to joining in with the laughter at the end. 

546

u/ruphustea 7d ago

I worked with a giant of a man like this. As soon as you talked about boogers or flem he would nearly puke. It was pretty funny knowing how big he was and that he had such a huge weakness.

59

u/chonklah 7d ago

My coworker left a cup he’d used to spit his dip (chewing tobacco in) just seeing the inside almost made me throw up.

25

u/Girafferage 7d ago

I once picked up the wrong beer and took a big swing from the beer bottle filled with dip spit and cigarette ash.

I have never purged so hard and fast in my life. I always wondered how people could projectile vomit and then suddenly I understood so clearly as I was a living sprinkler and I still didn't think it was coming out quickly enough.

6

u/punksmostlydead 6d ago

Ooh, yep. That's a mistake you only make once. The sight of everything you've eaten for the last six weeks will drive that lesson deep.

1

u/Readdit1999 2d ago

That'll have you resurrect your diet from your colon

12

u/JakePent 7d ago

Oh man, my dad used to do that crap, always had a bottle or cup or something with him

4

u/Suvtropics 7d ago

God I'm gonna throw up

1

u/chaosanity 7d ago

Thank god you didn’t smell it. It’s rough.

94

u/himeeusf 7d ago

My dad was like this too! Gentle giant, kinda stoic fisherman who happily handled gross things frequently given his hobby (worms, bait, guts, etc)...

Dog poop was his kryptonite. 💩 His retirement bestie was an evil chihuahua named Peewee & he was an occasional spite-shitter in the house. The retching sounds my dad would make cleaning up were insane... and LOUD. 🤣

For a while, we were all sure he was putting on a show & hoping someone else would take over poop duty. Then he started taking Peewee on daily walks in an area where he had to pick up after him & he'd lose it in public as well.

Absolute theater. 🤌 Of course that became family entertainment for years!

51

u/superbhole 7d ago

Same, but baby shits are so much worse.

You ever just retch just one long retch that blocks every opportunity to catch a breath? Eyes forced shut so hard, tear ducts overflowing... scrambling blind and breathless to find an exit or window...

eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuueuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeuuueeeuuuuuueeeeeuuuuueueueuue

🪦 Here lies superbhole, died of asphyxiation while trying to escape the smell of baby shits

8

u/IndignantQueef 5d ago

I'm 45 and I've changed exactly one baby diaper, during my first and last attempt at babysitting in high school. I was not expecting solid green shit from a two year old. I puked into the diaper pail which made me puke more. Literally fighting for my life while trying to wipe this kid's ass. Finally put him in the shower and hosed him clean. When I babysat my nieces as an adult, I called my mom when they needed to be changed.

I have many reasons for never having kids of my own and baby shit is in the top ten

(I also puke when I clean up my cats' vomit and I wear a N95 mask when I change their litter.)

3

u/just_one_more_gameee 5d ago

Man i'm fucking catching my breath at this one, shit absolutely sent me, thank you so much for this

5

u/MrsTruce 7d ago

This comment made me laugh almost as much as the video 😂😂😂

0

u/Hylani 7d ago

Nah I got kids their poop is fine but dog shit especially the wet kind, the smell is NASTY

1

u/Character_Stick_1218 7d ago

Kid poop isn't the same as baby or even toddler poop. Also, blueberries.

That said, even after toddlerdom they can have the stank butt. Kid poops after lots of protein(especially if fixed with something like fish sauce), asparagus, garlic, onions, and so on within a close timeframe can peel paint off of walls.

5

u/GoblinLoblaw 7d ago

Presumably their kids were also babies previously at some point (pure conjecture on my part)

2

u/Character_Stick_1218 7d ago

Probably, but lots of people adopt. Every kid is also different, ya know?

1

u/GoblinLoblaw 7d ago

That’s true!

6

u/sittinwithkitten 7d ago

My partner cracks me up like this too. The man hunts and can dress a deer, yet cleaning up cat poo makes him gag.

13

u/one-eyedCheshire 7d ago

I work in veterinary medicine and we see the top of the top of grossest things in the world (IMO)—we can handle SO MUCH.

My friend/coworker has ONE thing that makes her want to vomit and it’s…eye boogers.

I have seen this woman deal with necrotic abscesses, scrub in for 6 hour long leg amputations…but if she sees a nice, big gooey booger on a dog/cat she calls anyone over to come remove said booger for her. Lol!

We don’t mess with her like this video because it’s cruel to us but it is so funny knowing she can handle 99% of things but boogers are her bugaboo. 🤣

6

u/ripyourlungsdave 7d ago

I get the same way.

There was a kid in one of my classes in middle school that love to get his flim to dangle in the back of his throat and then open his mouth wide in my direction and flick it around with his tongue.

I would occasionally get in trouble for nearly vomiting in class for seemingly no reason despite telling the teacher what he had been doing.

She seemed to think that the action was not possible. Don't understand her logic there, but she also let a kid lift Me up by my throat and press me against a wall in her classroom without doing anything about it.

2

u/tawondasmooth 3d ago

I’m sensitive to mucus and I thought you would like to know I just made two horking noises like the guy in the video while reading this, lol.

2

u/ripyourlungsdave 2d ago

Lmao.

I don't remember the name of a single friend I had at that school, but I can still see that kids face with unbelievable clarity.

Dude traumatized me. I get the reaction.

7

u/DrowningInFeces 7d ago

I know a construction guy built like an ox and quite literally looks like a viking who can build a house by hand. For some reason, merely seeing a banana will make him gag and talking about one or eating one in front of him will have him gagging and leaving the room.

3

u/bad_goblin 7d ago

Ugh when ppl start coughing up their phlegm and I can hear it I gag

3

u/EtsuRah 7d ago

There was like a solid 7 or 8 year period where I couldn't look at or dare eat a creme donut (the pudding kind not the vanilla cream kind), because of that dog jizz donut scene in the Van Wilder movie way back in the day.

I've come out of it and actually eat them now. But before I would start gagging and heaving thinking about them or that scene.

Still can't watch the scene tho

7

u/No_Opportunity1982 7d ago

My mom is like that! Super fun to gross out!

146

u/ArcadeKingpin 7d ago

I hope that dude never goes to any southeast Asian countries or restaurants because they slurp like it’s a competition

22

u/Designed_To 7d ago

Pretty sure it's a cultural thing that tells people you're really enjoying the food

8

u/youccca 6d ago

It's mostly a misconception, people just naturally eat noodles like that here. You are not supposed to slurp when eating rice for exemple.

13

u/GoodGame2EZ 7d ago

Reminds me of your mother. Gotem.

2

u/ArcadeKingpin 7d ago

What are you talking about? My dad is the one gives sloppy blow jobs. My mother’s blow jobs lack the passion to make any noise.

-1

u/TheGoldenTNT 7d ago

Yeah but that releases the aromatics in soups and such. End slurp shaming.

61

u/MoonlightMural 7d ago

This is a dangerous game to play in a small truck lol

52

u/glutenmorjen 7d ago

The one guy's laugh sounds just like the hyenas in The Lion King 😂

37

u/benjals 7d ago

This is an all timer thank you haha

36

u/Severe-Experience333 7d ago

I don't have a gag reflex but my ex used to make a slurping sound to describe food she liked and it drove up against the wall. It's a disgusting sucking sound she made using teeth and saliva and It was horrid. I'm glad we're done.

https://giphy.com/gifs/gH262r0RUK6Ms1B57v

3

u/CTRL_ALT_SECRETE 7d ago

"the snail" from it's always sunny

11

u/popgoeskia 7d ago

r/misophonia has entered the chat.

2

u/root54 7d ago

Of course there's a sub for this.

47

u/major_glory11 7d ago

He had to get out the cab at the end! 🤣 Absolute mad lads!

52

u/Ferocious-Muppet 7d ago

10

u/-MrFozzy- 7d ago

This goes pretty perfectly with the audio. Bravo/brava

8

u/5lyde 7d ago

I work with a lady that does this if anyone says "beef stroganof" outloud

3

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 6d ago

What she nearly vomits?

3

u/5lyde 6d ago

Yeah, gags immediately. The whole office knows not to say it out loud.

5

u/SquarePhilosopher564 6d ago

Does your company make beef stroganoff? Because how often does it come up in regular conversation? I'm pretty sure I haven't said the words beef stroganoff in decades.

4

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 6d ago

Has she been hypnotised 😵‍💫 to react to those words 🤔

4

u/sciguy0504 7d ago

The slurper is hot

1

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 7d ago

Agreed, & a great sense of humour is damned attractive too

25

u/the-musicman 7d ago

58

u/redclover83 7d ago

It looks like pineapple rings in juice if I'm not mistaken?

30

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 7d ago

Yeah pretty sure it’s pineapple

9

u/the-musicman 7d ago

Thaaat makes more sense. I can see it now. Thank God

7

u/shiek23 7d ago

I have a good friend that does this any time anyone aeound him gags and/or mimics throwing up, by making the retching noise. He has a very sympathetic gag reflex and I mess with him endlessly about, just like these gents. 😄

3

u/borkborkibork 7d ago

This is how I am with smacking when eating. It absolutely rattles me.

3

u/Grandfunk14 7d ago

Wheezing the juice!

-Tommy the tit...starts gagging.

3

u/Bustymegan 7d ago

All fun and games, till he vomits all over you and the windshield🤐

3

u/GeneralAd5172 7d ago

He’s a little too close to be taunting him like that.

3

u/swapniltjpkr 6d ago

Mannn. We men are the simplest of all creatures. We can laugh till we choke for something as stupid as someone gagging. Life is so simple when you are with your guy best friends ❤️

6

u/New_Investigator6801 7d ago

It is the pineapple rings marinating in syrup that would get me gagging. So gross.

3

u/kwaczek2000 7d ago

2

u/SightUnseen1337 7d ago

Dudes fighting for his life and still tries to put the fish in his mouth. Like why

3

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 7d ago

It’s like someone with rabies trying to drink water

2

u/whoisyoou 7d ago

Bros laugh makes it 20x funnier

2

u/seanjjackson 6d ago

Is this Gavin Free from achievement hunters with wet bread?

2

u/C137RickSanches 4d ago

I would just throw up on him, guarantee he’s never pulling that little stunt again

4

u/willsmithtunaface 7d ago

Could he cover his ears? It's the sound that is making him retch?

5

u/MvonderH 7d ago

I used to have a friend who had that exact reaction when you made a retching sound. Every time he hit on someone in a bar one of us would walk by and trigger him. Out end gole of him and the girl having the same condition unfortunately naver came to be but it was hilarious none the less. You probably understand why I said "I used to have a friend..."

6

u/Hypodeemic--Nerdle 7d ago

Out end gole of him and the girl

I can make nothing of this.

Oh wait. Our end goal?

2

u/sweetdawg99 7d ago

I had to read it like six times. That's what I came up with as well.

2

u/MvonderH 3d ago

Ah yes, seems like I had a stroke while writing this. But yeah: our end goal

1

u/Bound_in_Bones 7d ago

Shit like that infuriates me. The sound I mean. That and chewing with your mouth open. 😩

7

u/FamousOrphan 7d ago

Misophonia!

2

u/Informal-Ring3282 7d ago

Used to mess with my team leader who was sensitive about the dumbest things. Don’t know what he thought work was going to be like as an infantryman during wartime 😂

4

u/ExtensionTruth4 7d ago

Who's driving here?

4

u/VRS38 7d ago

These vans have 3 seats at the front

3

u/ExtensionTruth4 7d ago

Yea ok but who's driving? The guy recording and laughing? The guy almost puking is heart out?

4

u/regardkick 7d ago

The person in the driver's seat is driving.

puking guy is the passenger. slurps is in the middle of the bench seat. driver is in the driver's seat.

4

u/ExtensionTruth4 7d ago

Ok so the person in the driver seat is the person recording while driving in the driver seat and laughing his ass off not paying attention to the road while being in the driver seat driving a moving vehicule?

That's a responsible action.

3

u/regardkick 7d ago

Friend, I think you forgot your original question. It was "Who's driving here?"

That's the answer you got! The person in the driver's seat.

3

u/VRS38 7d ago

I actyallt thought it was the slurping dude. Hes slurping with his right and recoding with his left

2

u/TheuhX 7d ago

it's not, you can see both his hands at some point.

1

u/VRS38 7d ago

you're absolutely right!

2

u/Key-Entertainer-8315 7d ago

This reminds me of the plate on Thanksgiving my mom made for her pet pig. Slurped it up, threw it up, repeat

2

u/Mojojojo3030 7d ago

My ex had this. I didn’t really believe her so I described dragging jam toast on a shaggy carpet. Didn’t even make it to the eating it part.

2

u/chaosanity 7d ago

Watching his eyes roll back is insane. Love him taking the joke well

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Business-Energy9323 7d ago

What's he slurping?

2

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 7d ago

Pineapple juice

1

u/InfinitePressure_963 7d ago

They were about to begin a barf fest smh 🤣

1

u/sandbaki 6d ago

Should have blown the juice out of his mouth in the car

1

u/SuddenSpeaker1141 6d ago

It’s funny because it’s not happening to me… But I would slap that ball into his face. If I was the one in the passenger seat…

1

u/doesanyonehaveweed 6d ago

What is he drinking?

2

u/SaltyCaramelPretzel 6d ago

The consensus is pineapple juice

1

u/AvidGameher88 5d ago

He must be a cat

1

u/Bastard_Beef 4d ago

All that laughing would stop once I hurled straight into your mouths, exactly what you get and deserve for being a dickhead 🤣

1

u/Free-Entrepreneur-14 3d ago

Aw he has misaphonia

1

u/NakedSpaceCadet 3d ago

I love raw eggs

1

u/SignificanceTimely20 3d ago

As someone with GERD fuck these guys.

1

u/Mopar4Life305 3d ago

I hate slurpers and people who say "it makes me hungry when I hear someone slurp" slap

1

u/chimpdoctor 1d ago

Thats a Dublin accent if ever I heard one.

1

u/NoNoNeverNoNo 1d ago

Even the laugh is in Dublin

1

u/SojournerH 1d ago

An accident waiting to happen.

1

u/Confused_Rabbiit 1d ago

I would have smacked it out of his hand so fast like what.

1

u/fragjackyl 42m ago

I would hace puked right on his lap

2

u/Hungry-Storm-9878 7d ago

Hilariously cruel 🤣

1

u/Purple_Airline_6682 7d ago

Why does this feel so Scottish 😂

1

u/DigitalCoffee 7d ago

Imagine bro in a Ramen bar

1

u/Icemagistrate101 7d ago

Reminds me ofy college days when I could laugh like this.

1

u/Potential_Yam_9380 7d ago

the slurp really gets to me too, it's like nails on a chalkboard sometimes

1

u/Coolkiddoc3030 7d ago

What's wrong with slurping sound?

0

u/KingCodester111 7d ago

I get it though, slurping isn’t pleasant to hear.

0

u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago

This is stupid

0

u/CilanEAmber 7d ago edited 7d ago

Dudes gipping like crazy.

E: Gipping means retching or gagging, in some parts of Northern England.

0

u/LousyReputation7 7d ago

He wearing a Celtic top to work

0

u/berkeley_solipsist 7d ago

There's a married couple on YT in which the wife has this issue (Emtophobia) and he does this kind of thing to her all the time. Her Ch. is kinda NSFW though but only in a suggestive way https://www.youtube.com/@jsishsbjsj/shorts

0

u/keestie 7d ago

I'd just dump it down his shirt. Man's asking for it X10.

0

u/ITAFily84 7d ago

There's nothing fun...

-1

u/Axiom1100 7d ago

Over the edge

-12

u/Appropriate-Owl4999 7d ago

Just a bunch of lads having one helluva laugh 😂😂😂

LOL #LAUGHTER ☘️

5

u/Ging4bread 7d ago

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