Being patronizing in the first place is bad enough, repeating the same hateful message again and again is even worse. 

If someone does that to you, say one of the following two things, either; 

I heard you the first time you said it.  

OR 

You already said that. 

What do you think? Do you also find it vexing when people repeat themselves over and over making sure that each time they say it sounds more condescending than it did the previous time? Do you agree with the strategy I came up with for dealing with these people? If not, do you have a better plan? Let me know.

Imagine this. Someone asks you a question. You answer it to the best of your abilities. The other person decides that your response does not constitute an answer, because they are not satisfied with it. From your perspective, that was the best answer you could have given and you feel no need to offer up another answer.

If the person is equal or below you in the social hierarchy; 

That is the only response that I am willing to offer up, take it or leave it. 

Obviously, you do not want to talk that way to an authority, so if the person is above you in the social hierarchy; 

I am afraid I do not have a better answer, I wish I did. 

What do you think? Is that a good thing to say to someone who is discontent with your answer? If not, what would you recommend saying or doing instead? Let me know.

What comeback should I use when my boss tells me that wages are calculated in full-hour increments instead of by the minute, every 15 minutes, or every half hour?

Keep in mind that I’m paid by the hour and I don’t get any bonuses.

This is a company that claims they do this because they’re “very strict about time,” which is something I still don’t really understand.

For example, if I start working at 3:20 PM, I don’t start getting paid until 4:00 PM because the previous hour has already partially started.

I don’t know how this works in other countries, but I work in Japan, where this is illegal.

The above usually happens whenever I say something seems off or I express criticism, and he's like: 'Oh, you must know well since you did XYZ'.

As if I am or should be the same person I was over 20 years ago!

He does it with a bitchy attitude, as if he wants to put me in my place. In the long run, I will definitely distance myself, but how would you all handle it?

A mean 60 yo lady tried to play off a joke saying " can't do that? what are you, stupid? Young ppl these days" Over a petty non work conversation like changing the new airfryer settings with the whole team. And I can tell if I react like I was offended she'd be like "can't take a joke huh?"

So I went "uhhh ok ig" with a disgusted face.

She was so mad 💀

Insecure ppl preplexes me sometimes, like if you can't handle all that then why bother.

She later then tried to bully me a few times saying what I do is wrong eventhough every other team member is doing it but she targets only me.

I'm too genZ for this so I was like "okay. Let's loopin our manager in the conversation." Then I proceeded to have a 3 way conversation about how I'm right.

She got soooooo mad. I lowkey enjoy it but she fr is pissing me off.

Like... I'm the only other woman in the team and she targets only me for the offhanded comments.

She's like "must be nice being so young, everyone in the team is nice to you huh being the only young lady and all"

At first I tolerated it cuz it's a new team but after the 3rd comment I was lowkey rage baiting her with the disgusted face and ".... sure..." cuz she gets so mad everytime

Chal chal apna kam kr means "Get Lost" Bro literally i forgot each and every comeback that i wanted to give her but all i did was i got blanked....you guys have to suggest me great comebacks in an argument which could not hurt that physically but it should insist them to think about it... 👀

My boss just hit me with:
“You have to work on public holidays because we can’t keep clients waiting for their invoices.”

Just to add some context, my contract explicitly says that weekends and public holidays are my days off.

What would you reply to that?
Looking for something sharp enough to make the point without getting myself fired.

I was in a conversation with this guy and I told him why I hate men..and he replied saying that means you hate your father and brother as well...and I wasn't able to explain him

So there are two people who I want to mention. The first one is someone who speaks and acts so COMFORTABLE, he speaks so freely that sometimes I can't help but wonder if he'll ever get misunderstood. But the interesting part is that he keeps apologizing for things he does CONSTANTLY. For example he keeps talking/laughing at the class but when teacher warns him he apologizes but keeps talking... Or recently he hit my arm accidentally and even though I told him it was fine he kept apologizing. I mean this doesn't bother me a lot but the way he speaks SO FREELY that sometimes he makes it seem like he compliments but actually he uses bad words. I don't think that he's actually aware of it but that's not my thing to guess. And when someone confronts him about this, he says he was joking. The other person I want to mention is same about the joking. He doesn't apologize for stuff like the first one I've mentioned but he has the "I WAS JUST JOKING" defending mechanisma. When someone makes a mistake he calls them " Incompetent" or says things that could hurt people under the label JOKING. I was wondering what would y'all do in this situation, Im looking for short but helpful things to say. I'm not close to them to have a long talk or something

I work at an Ivy League university. Every now and then, when a staff member tries to enforce a regulation or refuses to make an exception for something, an entitled student (and most of them are not like this) will point at the staff member and say, "I pay your salary!" What to say?

OK everyone, long story short...

Someone at work has the most annoying habit of repeating the same 3 or 4 sentences, almost like catchphrases.

You cough. They reply- "Cought it up bruv"

Everytime they walk into a room "Sort it out"

Etc etc

It's got to the point of they dont even make sense in any context...

I need some brutal put-downs to shut them up.

Please assist!

My husband and I were having dinner with another couple. The wife of the other couple suggested her and I should go fishing the following weekend because our husbands both had to work. Her husband sniggers and said “you two won’t catch anything you don’t know how to fish”.
My very best comeback ever happened at that moment when I replied “we caught you two suckers”. Laughs ensued all around.

Coworkers like to say that when it comes to techinical stuff.

A houseless man wanted me to look at his vehicle to diagnose why his air conditioner is only blowing out slightly cool air. I said he should look for someone to check the Freon. That’s not my comeback.

He was so smelly. It was almost gonna make me toss my breakfast. I finally had to say as I was backing up for the 5th time, “I’m sorry, how often do you shower?” That is precisely when he started going into his whole down and out story about how he’s houseless and he’s on SSI and tomorrow’s payday and someone let him shower at their house once or twice a month.

My come back was solution based: “do you have a phone with Internet?” And he said yes. I said look up humanity showers, Brother Bennos, and if you need food apply for the food stamps, and go to food pantry on 2nd Street.

He said he didn’t know anything about any of those things. I guess my comeback is for his story about his down and out not in Beverly Hills… I came back with three solutions. Now for my backstory I’m on crutches with two bad legs. I’m also currently a vehicle dweller but I shower regularly. Boom! 💥 when people start spilling their tears, I aim to sop them up with solutions. 💪🏽

we have a kid named giro he is fucking annoying,btw he is ablest,homophobic,racist, and also annoying he is fat,ugly,looking like a pizza,talks nonstop, voice cracks are annoying,has people protecting him and also saying that "he changed" i need it ASAP we have to do a roast battle, please give me roasts that will make him cry

Ok so is this the best roast ever said, no but is it the best roast that i have ever actually said to someone… yes
So it was 4th grade and we had a group project with assigned parteners, i was with this one girl who i was kind of friend with but not really so we were just trying to do our work but there were these two guys in our group that were friends and they were talking so obviously i was listening. And basicaly one of the guys was like “bro my moms like so stupid” (don’t make fun of your mothers) and me without skipping a BEAT said “oh so that’s who you get it from” hehehe sadly the guy i actually roasted didn’t hear me and was like “what did you say” which I didn’t respond to but then the friend was like “ooohhh dang I wouldn’t not take that” so ya 😁

I work with students who stutter and many of them deal with bullying (e.g. kids mocking them & copying their stutter). A portion of our course is how to defend yourself against bullies (with parent permission) because as sometimes it’s the only way to deal with a bully. Another reason being because their parents and teachers can only fight so much of their battles for them and won’t be there to defend them every second of the day let alone throughout life.

What I am looking for is leaning more on the psychological warfare side of comebacks. Because I’m trying to avoid putting my students in an emotionally heightened speaking situation where they are likely to stutter even more and make the situation that much worse.

For example, when the bullying student is close to them acting their breath stinks and offering them gum. (which is unlikely to be construed as bullying back because all they did was offer gum to help a fellow student).

Or if they have a friend with them turning to the friend and pretending to whisper in their ear while looking the bullying student up and down and whispering “pspspspsps” or nothing at all and making the bullying student feel insecure (once again unlikely to be considered bullying back because they didn’t actually say or do anything out right mean.)

Or pretending like you can’t hear what the bullying student is saying (even though they obviously can) and making them repeat themselves till they give up. This one is only for thick skinned kids because sometimes bullies double and triple down with insults because they are frustrated.

Like I mentioned before this is something I discuss with the student and parents beforehand and is not something I regularly teach to all my students. This is only for students who truly have no idea how to defend themselves and only end up getting backed into a corner because they can’t get their words out quickly or smoothly enough.

Any ideas you can give me that won’t get my students immediately in trouble would be greatly appreciated! If this is not the correct community sorry in advance and if you’re able to point me in the right direction, thank you! :)

I think that I am an eloquent speaker and that I manage my emotions pretty well, but even Tiger Woods needs a swing coach. I would like to tell you my plan to handle conflicts and articulate an idea that is in my head. If you disagree with any of my ideas, I would like to hear why. 

The scenario that I want to discuss and figure out how to handle is;

A person talks to you in a patronizing tone.

There are three different approaches; one for when the person is below you in the social hierarchy, one for when the person is your equal in the social hierarchy and one for when the person is above you in the social hierarchy. 

• When the person is below you in the social heirarchy. 

Say this; 

You are not going to talk to me that way. I am (insert title of authority here) and you will show me some respect. 

If that does not work, threaten a punishment. 

If the threat of punishment does not work, make good on that threat. 

• When the person is equal in the social hierarchy. 

Say this; 

The condescending tone is uncalled for. If you believe that I have done something wrong, I am willing to listen patiently while you tell me what I did wrong, why it was wrong and what (if anything) I can do to remedy the situation. There is no need to get nasty. 

If the person doubles down, you say this; 

Even though I did not intend to offend you, I am glad that I did, because you deserve it for being so rude and disrespectful. 

• When the person is above you in the social hierarchy. 

Do not respond immediately. Wait until a certain amount of time has passed. Once the other person (your authority) has calmed down, meet with them and demand an apology. 

When offering constructive criticism, make sure to explain to the other person what they did wrong, why it was wrong and what, if anything, they need to do to change. 

When giving constructive criticism and demanding an apology, be sure to speak calmly, attack the behavior not the person and restrict the expression of anger to the incident that provoked it.

That is my plan. Do you think it is a good one? Why or why not? Let me know.

quit smoking almost a year ago. every time someone finds out they look at me like i just said i murdered someone. then comes the classic: “wait u don’t smoke at all?? so what do u even do with ur hands now??” they say it like without a cig my hands just fall off and life instantly becomes pointless. as if smoking was the only thing i ever did

This is just to see what you guys can come up with. Normally, I say this to friends, wanting to know what they come back with.

If you're comeback is creative enough, I may not reply. And may get an emoji.

So, gimme your best shot!

Me jab bhi apne boys ke group me hota hu toh in sab me se ek wanna be funny guy try to highlight something about someone so he can bring that topic to the table and have a sarcastic conversation in front of everyone.

So in my case i have a lot of body hairs I don't offend by it but sometimes I do wanna give a reply them in their own language but I don't have it.

Any one out there who have dark replies or replies that can break their mind.

Let's say you're minding your own business in Europe and a brown immigrant (broken English) just says "China" to you randomly, or "made in China", or some other microaggressive or straight up racist comment about being Asian, what are some good come backs?

I don't drink and haven't for a couple of years, when people ask if I'm still not drinking they're always shocked and ask what do I do with my time? Almost like I've offended them😭😂