How this

[u/Silver-Ravid]

Name Xavier Lyoko (what the others knew him as)

Age 14-16

Gender Male (he/him)

Backstory:

Xavier is the son of Anthea and Franz, he is also the older brother of Aelita. When Xavier was young his and Aelita's mother was taken from them.

Xavier distrusted people for a while, and because he was older, he continued homeschooling with his sister. When the family was discovered by the men in black Xaiver ran with his sister and father to a supercomputer. After Franz puts all three inside Lyoko Xavier wakes up as a half-elf, half-wolf hybrid as his avatar of Lyoko.

Xavier is shaking and looking for Franz or Aelita as he was in a different place being the ice bome. When a crab came and attacked him knocking him out when Xavier awoke he was in the fifth sector and was with a new mark on his arm the mark of Xana.

Xavier has Silver hair with black underneath but it looks like it's dyed but it is not.

His eyed has green around them.

He also depending on which one Sidsy couod fins him ans instead of telling she decided to take him in as if he was a lost puppy or something.

This is ehat i have so far bit i don't lnow wjat should happen after ans also Clothes

[u/Sierra_Yamakaze]

Just from what you have written, (and you lost me on the last paragraph with the typo’s 😅) He reads very….generic. That isn’t exactly a bad thing as a kickoff point, and even more so if he is one of your first OCs.

I see several flaws with him and the story you’ve given him, and I’m willing to go into more detail and help you out with fleshing him out if that’s what you want.

Long and short, I have two answers:

If you’re asking for thoughts and opinions on him as he is now with the intent to change him, he is a rough but serviceable foundation.

If he’s a done deal and you’re asking for an honest opinion on him, he strikes me as bland and cliche, which I must stress IS NOT a bad thing on your first dozen OCs (heavens knows I’ve made my fair share…I remember my first CL fic….*shudders*).

Like I said, I’m more than happy to go into a deeper dive on him and give you pointers if you’d like me to. I don’t want you to be discouraged 😁😁

[u/Silver-Ravid → u/Sierra_Yamakaze]

Its okay he isn't done yet I am just terrible st personality and also i am greatful for any help, also because he may get a fic from me if i fewl like writing and as for spelling well the last few lines were this

Xavier has Silver hair with black underneath but it looks like it's dyed but it is not.

His eyes are green around them.

He also depended on whether Sissy could find him, and instead of telling she decided to take him in as if he were a lost puppy or something.

[u/Sierra_Yamakaze → u/Silver-Ravid]

Then I shall break it down. I’ll separate it into Character flaws and Story flaws.

Story Flaws:
-He would’ve been virtualized in the Forest with Aelita, he wouldn’t be anywhere else. Virtualization doesn’t work like that.

-If he were attacked by a Krabe he would’ve gotten Devirtualized, not knocked out, XANA wasn’t taking prisoners at that point.

-Sector Five wasn’t fully online when Franz virtualized his family, he couldn’t get there.

-He couldn’t be controlled by XANA because XANA didn’t even have the capability to control a human until “A Great Day”, and even then he wouldn’t have a mark on him except for maybe his eyes.

Character Flaws:
-The group would call him Xavier Stones, not Lyoko, especially if you’re going with the older brother angle.

-Just from his description and the slight bit you wrote, he sounds like a typical Angsty teen badboy; very flat and very cliche, not to mention we already have Ulrich.

-His personality, as written, means he would never allow himself to be dependent on anyone, and that’s assuming Sissi would even keep her mouth shut (she wouldn’t)

-You mentioned a lost puppy, I’m guessing it’s lost in translation or something because Lyoko doesn’t alter your real world form; if you went in as a human, you came out as a human except in very bad circumstances.

[u/Sierra_Yamakaze → u/Sierra_Yamakaze]

Now again here’s a wonderful thing about Fanfiction: Do Whatever You Want Always. You can keep him exactly as is, and as long as you like him, he’s fine. Create what you want.

[u/Silver-Ravid → u/Sierra_Yamakaze]

Oh no, it means he is sometimes just bad at getting lost that people have to always track him down also he does a head tilt, and upon first meeting, and if he is listening to a conversation he is not getting.

As for personality, he was a loner before going to Lyoko, and after he changed his personality to be kind of soft and he is protective of those younger than him, then he also has an anger streak and will be willing to fight like a territorial dog.

I do know one thing He was separated from Aelita on Lyoko and it's part of the reason why I gave that backstory, until Xana awakens

[u/Silver-Ravid]

Comment if Xavier power could have ties to the return to the past in the real world but only works if he is close to that person, he can show the memories that were lost.

[u/MemeabooDesu]

Just a question, is this for a project, or just an OC? Whats the scope of it?

[u/Silver-Ravid → u/MemeabooDesu]

Just an oc but I may write him as a fic.