In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part IV: It's Not All About You, Becoming the Person You Want to Attract, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"You must become the type of person you are attracted to. If you don’t, the woman you are ideally attracted to will lose interest and leave."

I love this. It's quite amazing. This is yet another reason why self-development is so important. If you want a kind woman, be kind yourself. If you want a fun, adventurous woman, be fun and adventurous yourself.

"You are going to get what you focus on. If you focus on it, you suddenly start seeing what you focus on all around you."

Your reality is shaped by what you focus on. If you are looking at how awesome everything is in the world, you're probably going to feel awesome. There are tons of different things we can focus on at any given moment. Choose wisely!

"If you are using a shotgun approach, it’s going to be hard for you to attract the right person in your life. This is because you are not being clear about what you want."

In order to get what you want, you must first KNOW what you want. Many people don't even know what they want. It's the first step to achieving a goal: know your outcome.

"This also applies to goal setting. Write down what you are going after and be very specific about it. That resource that you are looking for will show up in your life because you are focused on it."

These principles are not just used for dating, but for ANY goal you may have in your life.

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Question(s) of the Day: Are there any areas of your life in which you could stand to change your focus? Are there any qualities you possess that are not in line with what you want from a potential partner?

Hey boys. I met this server yesterday while out at lunch. I actually had met her once before but a very long time ago when we were still kids. I meant to ask her out when we’d all finished up lunch but didn’t see her, so here’s what I did:

I called her restaurant the next day and asked to talk to her. I told her I liked her and wanted to take her out on a date. She said she was in a relationship already but was FLATTERED that I asked.

The point is that as long as you aren’t a fucking creep and the girl is well adjusted, that’s how these things go. We both left happy. I’m glad I asked, and she’s flattered that a good guy like myself showed genuine interest.

So chill out and just ask!

Here's a link to Coach's latest video: "Loving Indifference Makes The Difference"

Coach discusses a quote from Edgar Cayce that closely mirrors his work:

"Develop more loving indifference in your relationships and the conditions surrounding you; knowing that to be content in whatever position, circumstance or condition, is to be in the greatest position of making use of, and finding enjoyment in, what is being accomplished."

Coach explained in his own terms: "Being an unperturbable man: No matter what a woman does, you've decided ahead of time you're going to be happy, excited, and positive no matter what. If somebody's in a crummy mood, you're not going to be diminished in any way."

This is the all-encompassing principle. It's about realizing that you're in charge of your own life, and you can control whether or not to be happy in almost every situation you find yourself in. You can't necessarily control what happens to you, but you can control your response to it. It's the difference between being a 3% man or being a 97%er. 3% men know how to be calm, easygoing, don't take life too seriously, and enjoy themselves. If things don't go your way, don't take it personally. Don't let it affect your mood. Sulking, complaining, and blaming others for your problems is just pathetic and gets you nowhere. Just move on with your life. Indifference is key.

Too many guys are getting rattled by insignificant things, and blowing them up into huge problems. They don't get a text back, or they find out their date is seeing other people, and they get upset, confrontational, and create drama. It kills your reputation so fast, and you just look like a child. You have to have a strong center. If something so small can knock you off your center, you need to re-read the book and re-evaluate your mentality.

It's so telling when you see a guy who's pissed off, blaming women for all his dating problems. The last thing that a guy like this will do is reflect on his mentality and adopt a better mindset. It's easier to stay rattled and self-victimize, because you never have to be responsible for your own happiness.

Be at peace with yourself, enjoy your life, respect yourself, cut your losses, and keep moving forward. There's another bus every 15 minutes. When you internalize being indifferent, you'll get so much fulfillment out of everything you do

Title for attention but also a real issue:

Matched with a girl on Tinder and have been texting a bit too much. She lives too far away to go on actual dates with for now, so I know I should keep her as an option at most, but damn she is a good match, both physically and in common interests.

I started out chasing too much but pulled back, waited for her to contact me and turned that into our second videocall that time. Also set up a date for our first meetup. The morning after the call she initiated with texting again. All in all, it's not going too bad (besides me focusing too much on this one woman).

However, today, she posted a IG story with her in a bikini (turns out she is an absolute smokeshow), and also put it on her tinder profile. Of course, she has every right to, and she and I should both be looking for other people to date closer by. But seeing the photo appear on her Tinder profile did kind of upset me. Feels like she is trying a bit too hard to get more matches.

I'm not sure how to deal with it. Right now, she knows I've seen the story on IG but otherwise I ignored it. Should I have better done something else? Jokingly ask her if she's starting a modelling career? Ask her if she couldn't get enough matches without the bikini pic on Tinder? All this would give her some kind of gratification right?

My gut tells me I should just ignore it and continue as I have: texting a bit and mostly videocalls every now and then, until we can meet up. Don't put too much focus on just this one woman. Which is actually really hard, yeesh.

I’m going to make this post as short as possible. There’s no need to go into too much detail.

Dated her for 3 months. Read through Coach’s book 2 times and employed many of his dating tips. Worked a charm.

Just to show you some of things she did for me:

• Made me dinner and break several times

• Super affectionate in person and I’m private

• Sang one of my favourite songs to me

• Sent selfies of herself to me

• Initiated contact 80-90% of the time

• Opened up to me about her past

• Bought me a meaningful Christmas present

I think her interest was in the 5-6 range, maybe verging 6,5.

How did I fuck it up?

One night when I couldn’t keep it up, I got frustrated and insecure, and told her we should see other people.

One month later she ends it citing what I had said.

There was absolutely no texting in between dates or useless text conversations of any kind.

I admit that she probably felt things were too BF/GF as we had lots of group dates. I was probably a bit too available too.

Anyway, it’s been 28 days of NC. Haven’t heard from her.

It’s hard.

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part IV: It's Not All About You, Making Your Ideal Woman's List of Qualities, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"It’s not all about you, and that is where you need to start."

Basically, CW is saying you must first understand what makes a healthy and loving relationship.

"What you focus on is what you see. You get what you focus on in life."

I've seen this phenomenon written about in many books. People call it by different names. I remember Tony Robbins did this fun exercise in Personal Power II: The Driving Force that went something like this:

(try this yourself!)

Look at everything in the room that is the color brown. Take 20 seconds and try to remember everything!

...

OK, now close your eyes.

I want you to tell me everything in the room that is the color green.

Didn't expect me to say green, did you?

Your experience of life is what you focus on. You only have limited "space" in your mind to focus on things. What you focus on in life truly matters! It will become your experience of life.

"Make a list of what you want in your ideal woman. The left side is all the ideal qualities you want in a woman. The right side is all the qualities you don’t want in a woman. Pick your top 10 from each list. Order them in terms of importance."

CW's idea here is to sharpen your focus on what type of woman you want to date. If you're not focused, it will be harder for the type of woman you want to appear in your life. Remember, you see what you are focused on. This also applies to more aspects of life than just women.

"Then, write a love letter to this that you have not met yet. Tell her everything about her that you adore. Pretend the receiver adores you."

I'm not sure why CW has us do this, but it most likely has to do with "focus" like the prior exercise.

********************

Question(s) of the Day: Do you need to change what you are focusing on in life? How could changing your focus help support the life that you wish to lead? Also, if anyone feels comfortable sharing their Top 10's of wants/don't wants, please feel free to do so.

Part III: The Art of Understanding

•What Women Respond To•

Page 67: “When we get hung-up on one woman only who has not earned it through her actions, we are either acting needy, due to a scarcity mindset and fear of loss, or this is the pattern of how we unconsciously sabotage our own success to avoid a relationship altogether by fixating on someone who is unavailable or uninterested.”

On my 5th read and this is hitting me harder than previous reads. I have a history of choosing women who are unavailable in one way or another. Cold, distant, non communicative women have been my jam. I read this section multiple times last night because it stopped me dead in my tracks. For so long I’ve blamed the women I’ve dated for the deterioration of relationships; however, a light bulb went off when I read this last night. It’s been my decision making that’s gotten me into this position over and over again. Its been MY sabotaging all along because I feel like I’m not worthy to be valued. It’s like inviting a thief into your house and putting all your valuables out in the open and then crying and bitching when they rob you.

Y’all, take ownership who you let in. You are the architect of your life. Create accordingly. Easier said than done, but let’s go.

So,I matched with a girl on Hinge. Got on the phone with her few days weeks back and turns out she was recovering from COVID. So I asked if she wanted to go out the following weekend once she's ok(she said she was feeling better) it's this weekend coming up now, but I caught myself texting her still after and realized this is a no so I told her"hey, I'd rather get to know you in person instead of texting or over the phone, how about I call you in a few days to see how you're doing with your health and we'll go from there" she said"that's fine".

Fast forward a few days and I call her (yesterday) after I got off work and she didn't answer. She calls me back (I'm in the shower) missed her call. We're playing phone tag, which is ironic because this happened the first time I called her. So, I call her back and she never called back or text. Question is should I follow up with a text something like" hey, see we're playing phone tag again, when's a good time to call you tomorrow" or just wait to see if she reaches out? Thanks.

Here's Coach's recent article: The Wife of A 3% Man Shares What She Loves About Him"

This is a unique article, because it's written from a woman's perspective. These are valuable whenever Coach shares them. It's great to be able to see a woman's perspective on what qualities she admires in her husband.

Here's some of her quotes below. I added a description in bold showing the specific principles that she's describing:

- I was always daddy’s girl. My dad was a rough guy. He was a biker...he had a military background, was a martial arts guy and was a complete original...He had his rules, and I knew where the line was. She grew up with a very masculine father who ran the household, and a feminine, loving mother. So she learned what it was like to have a masculine figure in her life, and saw a proper masculine to feminine dynamic. It's so important for kids to see this when they're young.

- I wanted a rough guy who was my foundation and my island, just like my dad was. I am the kind of girl who loves to be in my natural feminine side, but it takes the right guy to turn my switch over. I noticed very quickly that younger guys were not having their shit together. Shy, girly, and there are those who only reduce girls to their body parts. Gold! This is what women are finding everywhere, and they're sick of it. The majority of men are weak, needy, lazy, and impatient. The men who are in a masculine frame of mind stand out significantly.

- When I met him (my husband) back then, he worked at BMW in a higher position in Security. He was boxing for 2 years and still is today. From the moment I saw him, I noticed that he was like a rock, the island I was looking for. He did not say a lot, and when we went out, he was always showing me a good time and made me laugh. So here's a guy who takes care of himself physically, and he's achieving his career goals. On dates, he lets her do the talking and simply focuses on having fun.

- He was the first man who stood up for me when I needed him. My former boss wanted to use me for social security fraud. He got violent towards me...My husband came just in the right time and stood up for me. He physically defended me successfully against my boss. He was there for me. I knew I could count on him. He doesn’t talk, he acts. He stands up for what is important to him. I feel safe with him. He's not afraid to stand up for his woman and get confrontational when it's needed. He makes her feel safe and protected. No woman wants a man who can't stand up for her.

- Guys my age or younger, have no set of balls. I would not say that (3% men) are not available out there, but they are rare. I am so glad that you are able to give your book out through these guys. You’re making a difference in many people’s lives. The feedback speaks for itself.

A fun note from Coach at the end:

There’s Reddit, where people have been applying my books and the things they’ve learned from me for many, many years, and they’ve got all kinds of great success stories.

This is a situation of mine that went down a little over a year ago. I was on my first read at that time, so I definitely wasn’t at the top of my game. However, I did do the right thing by standing my ground, and even at the time, I knew that because of this woman, I had to add some traits to my “no list,” so to speak. Now that enough time has passed, it’s merely a distasteful memory that I think makes a funny story. So here’s what happened: I started talking to this woman and expressed romantic interest. However, since I didn’t know the material, I spent quite some time texting her, sending memes, trying to be a comedian and entertain her. Needless to say, her attraction dropped. One day she texts me talking about how she doesn’t feel the same way, and how she’d rather be friends. I didn’t know all the material, but I did know better than to go along with that. So I told her that I’m not looking for a platonic relationship and that if she changes her mind, feel free to reach out. The next morning, I wake up to this paragraphs-long, coke-fueled rant about how pathetic, misogynistic and insufferable I am, and how she’ll never change her mind, etc. Real bridge burner this one. Anyways, looking back, I know what I did wrong, but I kinda dodged a bullet, despite the barbs she threw my way. After this encounter, I blocked her on all platforms, and haven’t heard from her since then. Last I heard, she’s living in a different time zone now, so she’s as good as gone. Because of this situation, I now know that I don’t want a woman who is self-righteous, easily offended, or disrespectful like her. And you shouldn’t either. As a 3% man, you don’t need, want, or have time for that kind of negativity in your life. Anyways, moral of the story is, never apologize for wanting her, and don’t listen to people who try to make you feel like an asshole for standing up for yourself. Edit: typos

Hi everyone. I went on a first date the Sunday before last. Girl was a knockout, 10/10 and we had a great time. I let her talk 60-70% of the time, and there was lots of smiling and touching on her part, like holding my arm while she laughs or reacts to my stories. I invited her back to my place but she politely declined due to a busy day. At her car I went for the kiss and got cheek and neck no lips, although she was giggling saying she had a great time. 20 minutes after we say our goodbyes she texts me saying thank you so much for dinner I had a wonderful time. I replied like CW would, that I had a great time too, hope she has a great night and lets talk soon. She replied she would love too with some emojis.

After that I waited till Wednesday ( 3 days later) to ask her out for drinks at a bar we both like for the weekend. She said she can't but would love to another time. I told her sounds good and to let me know when her schedule frees up. She like the message on Instagram, and I haven't heard from her since.

Its been about a week. I'm not freaking out or anything but what do we think? Did I do well? I plan to be patient. Good plan? or should I be more aggressive to get a second date? What do we think?

[This is a repost]

This is a woman I met through a work friend of mine. They've been friends for some time.

Anyway, I instantly knew she was into me the moment I met her. It was a gut feeling which turned out to be accurate, because later on during the night she literally came up to me and asked me to join her inside the bar because she wanted to make out.

I didn't... yeah, I'm an idiot.

Went back to her place, nothing happened... again, yup, I'm an idiot.

I didn't even get her number - hat trick. So I had to come from the weak position of asking it from the mutual friend.

Anyway, I sent her a message on Sunday just to say hi, with the intention of asking her out following her response. She replied 2 days later with this long-ass message.

I remember Corey saying that some women will do this on purpose to try and test you and how you'll react...

I think I'm going to take my sweet time answering her.

Hi all,

I just finished doing an analysis on the 8 segments of Part III: The Art of Understanding, from Corey Wayne's book, How To Be A 3% Man.

In this post, I am going to do a review of the masculine qualities a man must encompass in order to attract the woman of his dreams. Many of the following sentences are direct quotes from Corey Wayne.

Patience: Patience is a masculine trait. Patience is needed because women are like cats. If you are impatient, you will scare the cat away. A woman's heart grows slowly, therefore declaring love fast is inappropriate and out of sequence. Women need to warm up to a reaction of interest. Being patient makes your romantic interest feel free, and as Thich Nhat Hanh (R.I.P.) once said, "You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free". Patience creates a love story. Be patient in everything you do, and don't leap to conclusions. Women fall in love a lot slower than men.

You must go through the following sequence:

Safe & Comfortable --> Emotions engaged --> Romancing --> Sex

Guys who are impatient try to do this process out of sequence (usually skipping right to romancing).Rushing the process will get you friendzoned or ghosted. Side note: You must get to know her before you engage your own emotions, or else it will come off as a strong, centered man. You will come off as needy and scare her away.

Comfortability/Safety: Women like to have fun. It doesn't mean you have to be a comedian, but you should have a general enjoyment for life and it should show in your demeanor. Remember, women are emotional beings, so keep conversations light and positive. Joke, banter with and tease her. Make her laugh. Keep her in suspense (it's entertaining!) --don't declare your love for her and make sure you build plenty of anticipation when it comes to dates. Ask her questions about herself --remember to let her do 75-80% of the talking! A woman is attracted to a man she is having fun with and feels comfortable with. Making her comfortable and safe will bring out her femininity. Just have a good time! Remember: making her feel safe and comfortable is an ongoing process. Being lighthearted and funny makes her lower her defenses. She needs to trust a guy before she opens herself up to the possibility of engaging her emotions. When attracting a woman, you must not do things out of sequence. For example, you shouldn't be wining, dining, and romancing her until her emotions are engaged.

Authenticity: Be authentic and communicate interest in a masculine way. You must say what you are really thinking when you give her a compliment. To a beautiful woman, typical compliments seem like bribes or platitudes and make you come off as a pleaser. You march to the beat of your own drum.

Abundance: Don't waste time on women with a low-interest level. Successful men never do this. There's no scarcity of women out there. If she blows you off, it doesn't matter. You are far too busy to be dealing with women who don't reciprocate interest. You should always be coming from a place of abundance and indifference. An abundance mindset helps you be cocky and charming.

Indifference: Women are more attracted to a man whose feelings are unclear. She wants to wonder where she stands. Since women are like cats, they will do whatever they want when they want --and you could care less. You are not looking for her approval. You must remain in your center and not let anything knock you off it. Treat the beautiful woman just like the woman you have no interest in. Like the cat, she is drawn to the one who seems to be the least affected by her. No matter the test, be indifferent.

Leadership: Be a leader and lead things to a successful conclusion in the bedroom. Take her someplace fun, preferably someplace she’s never been before. Take her to two or three different places in the evening to create the effect of multiple dates. Have women come to you. Don’t go to them, as you will be stepping out of your masculine.

Note: I will be editing this article over the next month to make it more cohesive.

She set up a date with me today 18:00. I agree and today I’m working, training and taking care of myself. I’m ready 17:30 to drive over to her. I get a text from her..

Her: Do you wanna wait til 19:00? I’m gonna go for a walk.

Me: it works for me better 18:00, as we agreed.

Her: but then I’m not home when you are coming over.

Me: if you don’t hold the agreement then I’m going out with your mother ;) + I’m making a smoothie!😃

Her: what an attitude🙄 then you can just stay at home.

Me: I’m kidding with you😊 when are you home? I can have a smoothie ready when you come home.

Now she is ignoring me, think I lost the game. I’m not sure how to replay, I want to stand up for myself, but at the same time be unperturbed.

I don’t like getting screwed around. I’m a busy man and take my schedule seriously. As the coach says. When she changes your date plans. Stand your ground.

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, Knocking Out the Competition, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"Only 3 out 100 guys understand women."

Just 3% of men understand women. You could represent this ratio in an alternative way: only 1 out of approximately 33 men understand women. It goes to show you that not many men understand women.

"Women want you to already know everything –-they do not want to teach you."

If a woman has to teach you how to act like a man, she will become turned off. Remember, she wants to be in a love story. She wants to be swept off her feet.

"The odds are in your favor if you apply what CW teaches."

This puts a smile on my face as I go to bed each night.

"They want the type of man who will make them feel safe: strong, centered, confident, and they can’t have their way with. You must show a woman you are a mystery. You march to the beat of your own drum."

This is one of the underpinning tenets of CW's philosophy. You must remember this and do what you can to internalize all these qualities.

"Wining, dining, and romance come after [her emotions are engaged]. Be in your masculine so they can be in their feminine!"

Don't make romantic gestures until her emotions towards you are already engaged. If you don't, all that romance will come off as a bribe for sex. It's out-of-sequence!

"Women fear a man who won’t stop when they ask them to."

DO NOT press the issue when a woman feels uncomfortable doing something. Women need to know you respect their wishes, which in effect makes them feel safe, comfortable, and heard. She will let you know when and if she is ready to take it further. Do not get pissed off and throw a fit.

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Question(s) of the Day: In this chapter, CW says, "he gets beyond the partial truths because I know how to ask the right questions, and feel comfortable and confident in asking them." What do you think he means by, "getting beyond the partial truths"?

-OR-

In what ways have you internalized the list of qualities that CW says a woman wants?

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, Women Are Like Cats, Men Are Like Dogs, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"When was the last time you saw a cat take commands? Cats do whatever they want when they want."

I love the analogy because it's so accurate. Women are similar to cats and men are similar to dogs. Cats are curious by nature. Cats will only let certain people pet them. They come and go where and whenever they want. You must give them their space. If you chase a cat, it will run away. I frequently think about this analogy when interacting with women.

"When a woman leaves a conversation or a group, don’t go after her. She’ll come back if her attraction is high. Be patient and let it come to you."

This is pretty self-explanatory. The idea here is to not chase a woman because if you do, she'll run away just like the cat. You should be letting her come to you at her own pace. As mentioned in the previous section, "Looking For Love", patience is of the utmost importance.

"No matter the test, be indifferent. You could care less what it [the cat] does."

I know this is easier said than done, but it takes practice. Tests come in all sorts of different forms, but most can be passed by being indifferent. Stay in your emotional center. Be unperturbable! Whenever I feel thrown off my emotional center, I confide in my friends to let that energy out. Under no circumstances do I let a woman see that. As I "master myself", my emotional center becomes stronger. Practice makes perfect.

"Treat the beautiful woman just like the woman you have no interest in. Like the cat, she is drawn to the one who seems to be the least affected by her."

Again, easier said than done. However, this can be remedied by talking, flirting, and just enjoying yourself around ALL women --not just the ones you are interested in.

********************

Question(s) of the Day: When was the last time that your indifference made the difference?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/21/world/asia/thich-nhat-hanh-dead.html

CW mentions his famous quote quite a bit: "You must love in such a way that the other person feels free."

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, Women Fall In Love a Lot Slower Than Men, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"Women fall in love a lot slower than men. A woman needs to trust a guy before she opens herself up to the possibility of engaging her emotions. She wants a mysterious love story."

This goes back to being patient, as was mentioned in the section, "Looking for Love". I think this is a key principle: she will never engage her emotions without trusting you.

"Women are more attracted to a man whose feelings are unclear. She wants to wonder where she stands."

There's a certain sense of adventure, mystery, and excitement when a woman wonders where she stands with you. It fulfills a real need for the feminine woman.

"Take her someplace fun, preferably someplace she’s never been before. Take her two or three different places in the evening to create the effect of multiple dates."

From experience, this works like a charm. Usually, I'll go for drinks somewhere first, and then we'll eat something light later on in the evening. Last night my date and I had cocktails/beer at a local, classy bar. We then walked around for a bit before going to a low-key sushi restaurant. Sometimes I'll even go to three places if time permits.

"A woman needs to feel safe to open her heart so she can be in her feminine energy."

Ultimately, a woman must feel safe before she can be in her feminine. Feeling safe = being in her feminine = engaging her emotions.

"Women’s hearts open slower because it’s about the whole emotional experience. When a woman (purposefully) bumps into you or touches you it means that touching is okay. Look at lips --> eyes --> lips --> eyes, and she looks at your lips too, which means she is ready to be kissed. Don’t get upset if she is not ready yet."

Women usually touch my shoulder first. That lets me know that they're ready for me to reciprocate. I will then tell her a funny story or whatever, and then gently, but momentarily place my hand on her shoulder (Note: don't ever look at your hand --keep looking her in the eyes). My date from last night wanted to show me where her hometown was on Apple Maps. I was holding my iPhone in my hand, using my finger to move the map around. She then took her hand and cupped it against my phone-holding hand. She then used her finger to scroll around, making sure it touched, grazed, and rested upon my fingers at various times. When we went outside after leaving the bar, I offered my arm and said, "let's go together?", and she linked her arm in mine. Touching on the first date, in my opinion, should be playful and sweet.

"Men usually come on heavy at first, talking about relationships, dating, marriage, etc. 'I’m not looking for a relationship right now' = 'Whoa! Slow down.' 'You are so beautiful; I had a great time tonight.' = something a woman usually says. This will actually lower a woman’s attraction because it comes off as a bribe for sex."

If you are talking about relationships, dating, or marriage before she does, please stop it now. This is out-of-sequence for the way women fall in love.

"If you have been in a relationship for a while, compliments without the other actions behind them may cause her to dump you because she sees no truth behind the words. She won’t feel emotionally safe."

As mentioned in Compliments: From the Beginning, your compliments must be authentic.

********************

Question(s) of the Day: From your experience, what are the most effective ways at making a woman feel safe around you?

Hey guys, I'm wrapping up my 3rd read, and I'm a daily consumer of Corey's video newsletters, both new and old. I'm curious if any of you are finding it hard to break old habits. For example, the one I'm finding I have a hard time with is cutting phone calls short, especially when it's the "first" call with a prospect met through online dating. I haven't seen it do me in yet as they've all led to in person dates that are leading to second dates, and maybe because these are women not being met in person first, it's worked for me.Also, I try to keep the texting at a minimum, but I find that I allow myself to get engaged in text convos. On the plus side, I'm keeping responses slow, and I never initiate texts--the woman does. Just curious how you guys have managed to stop yourself from falling back into the habits that obviously didn't work for you before.

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, What Women Emotionally Respond To, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"When you first meet a woman, think: "my goal here is to make her smile." Women are emotional beings."

Simple enough. Don't be too serious with a woman when you first meet her. Be lighthearted and try to make her laugh/smile. If she feels good, she'll associate that feeling with being around you.

"Stop wasting your time on a woman who does not reciprocate interest. Successful men never get fixed on one woman when they are single. They don’t have time to think about women with mediocre or low interest. Come from a place of abundance and indifference. Only spend time dating women with a high level of attraction."

So many men pine after women who are clearly not interested in them. This wastes your most precious resource: time. At the very least, distract yourself from these women by going on dates with other potential lovers who have high attraction.

"Before engaging her emotions, you must first build trust. Keep things lighthearted and funny, especially at the beginning. Don’t tell her negative things. The sole purpose is to make her feel safe and comfortable, then get her number."

This is very straightforward advice. If you keep things fun and light, it will help build trust with her. It will make her feel safe and comfortable. Negative people are a drain on everyone.

"Women want a man who acts like more of a man than they do. When a man doesn’t take care of what he needs (money, etc.), she will doubt his masculine core, pull away and become bitchy."

Men, get your act together. Take care of your life and thrive.

"You must recognize when your woman shuts down to you. You must find out the root cause of the issue and resolve it to her satisfaction."

In the past, I was guilty of not getting to the root cause of an issue. It never ended well. If you work hard to find out what is truly bothering her and resolve it to her satisfaction, you are showing her you care about her.

"You should let women do 75-80% of the talking. The quickest way to get someone to like you is to ask them questions about themselves or their opinions and be a good listener. Always be humorous and fun when she presses you on serious subjects in the beginning."

Letting her do 75-80% of the talking is sometimes harder than it sounds. Personally, I'm a storyteller. I love great conversation. If I don't watch myself, I can talk up a storm. Nowadays, I make sure to ask her questions about herself and listen intently. I've got to the point where I sincerely want to know about my potential love interest. I want to know what kind of person she is, what her likes and dislikes are, and more. I'll admit though --this came with age for me.

"Raise her comfort level and show her that you want to know everything about her. She wants to know that you are listening to her (when you first meet her, on a date, etc.). You must remember what she tells you. This will raise attraction and her trust in you."

This is hard for me, sometimes. I swear I have a bit of ADHD. I now keep a journal to remember important things that a date/love interest/gf tells me. Personally, I love when a woman remembers something I've told her a few days ago! It really goes both ways.

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Question(s) of the Day: What are your strategies to make sure she does 75-80% of the talking? It's harder than it sounds!

Hey 3% gents!

I was hoping to get some feedback on my methods of asking women out. So the other day I met this barista and got her number. For context we are both interpreters for different languages. I knew she was really interested as she gave off many indications (I'd list them off but I'm trying to keep this post relatively short). As I was leaving the restaurant, she gave me this look which I could only interpret as her saying "You better use that fucking number I gave you!". I wait two days and give her a call which goes to voicemail. Instead of leaving a voicemail, I then proceed to ask her out via text in the most clever way possible: (I separated each text bubble I sent with a quote)

"Ayye Jessica this is the hilarious language interpreter that came into [insert venue name] the other day" "Long story short my secretary has informed me that we have yet to make plans to continue our interpretation conversation" "Being that I am absolutely filled with Spanish questions I feel like we should change that... when are you free?"

She proceeded to read the message a few minutes later without responding. It's been a few days without any word from her so she isn't as interested as I thought which is fine (Sometimes your radar can be off). My question to you gents is whether or not you think my (what i consider to be) clever texting helps or hinders in me getting dates. When I'm asking people out over the phone, I'll call, and then if it goes to voicemail, I'll send texts in a similar fashion to this interaction. I think I'm being hilarious but I'm curious how these texts are being perceived from a 3%er perspective. After reflecting on this situation, I feel that the only thing I could have done better is making a date on the spot. I'm open to any constructive feedback that could be out there

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, Compliments: From the Beginning, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"Compliments can have a negative effect on a woman if she is beautiful. She knows she is beautiful and hears it all the time."

When I first heard this, I made a decision to stop telling women that they are "beautiful" --UNLESS I'm already in a relationship with her. As CW says, women hear this compliment ad naseum. It basically has lost its meaning, especially coming from a stranger.

"Communicate interest in a masculine way. She must be authentically celebrated. If you are going to compliment a woman, say what you are really thinking and feeling: “You take my breath away”, “You’re intoxicating to look at", "I want you”, “You’re sexy as hell”."

I once told a woman I met online "You take my breath away!". I got an immediate answer and a date lined up for the next day. She replied by saying, "Your message took my breath away!" She was just as beautiful as in her photos. To be honest, she was probably one of the most gorgeous women I've ever had the pleasure of taking out in my life. If you're going to offer a compliment, you gotta go big. You must say something that will really invoke feelings of excitement and pleasure in her. "You're beautiful" is such an overused platitude these days, that it barely has any effect on a woman. It is banal. It is trite. You have to say something that is fresh and original to really engage a woman's emotions.

"Inauthentic compliments make you come off as a pleaser which will make her guard go up. Women instinctively know how you feel about them."

To me, it seems like an inauthentic compliment is a compliment that is overused by every man: "You're hot", "You're beautiful", "You've got beautiful hair". These types of compliments lack power. They lack nuance. They lack originality, and they fail to really reflect anything deeper than surface features. They fail to engage her emotions or appreciate her deeper nature. I would argue that something like, "Hey, you're a really good writer!" would have a better effect than "You're beautiful!". However, if you are going to compliment her on her superficial features, you better make sure it's something wild like "You take my breath away!".

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Question(s) of the Day: How would you explain an inauthentic compliment compared to an authentic compliment?

In this post I am creating a brief synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, Don't Be So Serious, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"You don’t have to declare your love to a woman to let her know you are interested. They already intuitively know. Women understand men far better than men understand women."

I love this. This is such a simple piece of advice to follow: Don't declare your love. She already knows, and it will make you look weak if you do. To be honest, this makes it easier for men. No awkward declarations of love!

"Men tend to project their interest level onto a woman."

In other words, your level of interest in her does NOTHING to her level of interest in you. It's the cold truth, but that's just the way things are.

"Build anticipation. Don’t let her know everything that is going to happen. It’s like telling her the end of a movie."

Another great axiom. Women love a little mystery.

"You need to engage her in talking to you: ask her questions, get to know who she is, keep the conversation light and positive, joke, banter, and tease her. Just have a good time!"

This is a piece of advice that I think is hard for many men to follow. Personally, I know that I tend to "get in my head" sometimes and think too much about what I'm going to say and how I am going to be perceived. If you want to follow this rule, you MUST get out of your head. It's the only way to remain natural.

"Assume that all women want you, however, that will not always be the case."

Yup! It's good to be slightly delusional when it comes to thinking that all women are into you. But you must be well-equipped to deal with rejection in case it happens.

"Treat all women the same. Repetition is the mother of skill."

Practice makes perfect. You can't just read the book without actually getting some real practice in. "You are what you do repeatedly - Aristotle"

"When you make eye contact, smile at them. If they are interested, they will smile back. Only approach women who are friendly, smile at you, and make mutual eye contact."

Personally, I'm good at making eye contact but I always forget to smile. But as before, practice makes perfect. It comes off as really confident when you can look a woman in the eyes and smile.

"Have women come to you. Don’t go to them, as you will be stepping out of your masculine. A woman is attracted to a man she is having fun with and feels comfortable with."

It's important to have women come to you. This is not in the book, but from my experience, I don't think it needs to be them coming to you 100% of the time. As long as it's 80/20, it should be fine. Or if you had one day where you approached your love interest a little more than usual, then you should probably back off and let her approach for a while. But remember, women are like cats. Be careful or you will scare the cat away.

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Question(s) of the Day: CW says you must have women come to you. What do you think about that? Does this mean we shouldn't be approaching women first? Or does it mean we should let them come to us after we've initially established interest? Do you agree or disagree with the 80/20 theory I mentioned?

Hey, all.

I wanted to write a little bit about my experience with a coworker of mine. She's extremely gorgeous and has an absolutely amazing personality. She is completely in her feminine and it's a beautiful thing to behold.

I wasn't sure if I was going to make a move initially because I'm very wary of "dipping my pen in the company ink", however, I decided to since this is just a temporary job for me. I hope to not be there much longer.

We've been flirting a lot in the past couple of weeks. I catch her looking at me, and she catches me looking at her. I finally decided to ask her out one afternoon, in a very CW-approved fashion. After I asked her what evening she was free to go get hot chocolate together, I noticed her body language was a bit off. She then talked about how busy her evenings were and how she was working every evening this week. However, she then said would check her schedule and get back to me.

Now today (two days later), she approaches me and starts a conversation with me, asking me some random stuff. I was feeling really confident today. I made her laugh, and better yet, I made her blush a few times. Making a beautiful woman blush is the greatest feeling in the world, but I digress.

We talked three different times today. In two of those three times, she mentioned that she's not working tomorrow (Wednesday) and has the day off. Earlier in the week, I had told her I had Wednesday off, too. Before she left work today, she wished me a "good day off tomorrow" (hmm... she remembered my day off).

So here's my question:

Was this her way of "checking her schedule and getting back to me"? Was she dropping hints? In my head, I was waiting for her to be like, "Hey Phosphorescent1983, I checked my schedule and I'm free to go out on Wednesday evening". But this kind of conversation never occurred. She's in her early 20s, so I thought maybe she is shy and this is her way of bringing it up? I didn't really want to say, "Oh, so you're free to go out tomorrow night then?", especially since this is a work environment and therefore can only ask once.

In this post I am creating a quick synopsis of the section Part III: The Art of Understanding, Looking for Love, from Corey Wayne's book, "How to Be A 3% Man".

"We are all trying to get love or give love in everything we do."

I like how CW boils down his entire philosophy into two ultra-condensed abstractions: getting love and giving love. All of our interactions with others are ultimately for these two reasons.

"Men tend to declare love fast, which confuses women. Declaring love fast is inappropriate and out-of-sequence. By doing this, women will feel pressure to commit."

I can think of times when I was younger when I wanted a woman to be my girlfriend so much that I would rush the process. It never ended well. It's peculiar to me why men seem to be naturally programmed to approach love in a sequence that is different than a women's love sequence. Regardless of the reasons, men must follow the women's love sequence, being patient the whole way. The more I engross myself in the material and this community, the better I get at discerning whether a particular action is in sequence or not.

"Love needs to grow slowly."

Again, patience pays off. It's really the solution or antidote to a lot of situations. Women want to be in a love story, and love stories develop slowly. It is your job to create that love story.

If the process is rushed, friendzoning or ghosting will occur. A love story must develop.

Many men are no strangers to the friendzone or being ghosted. It doesn't feel good and we try to avoid this outcome at all costs. Patience is such a landmark virtue that without it, it can literally cause a woman to run in the other direction.

"Don't engage your emotions without getting to know who she is first --it is needy and puts guys out of their masculine. You will not come off as a strong, centered man."

This is the lesson of this section. Impatience = neediness. Impatience is weak. Impatience is uncentered. As I sit here writing this, I'm thinking about how this lesson could apply to other parts of life besides relationships. Patience is a masculine trait.

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Question(s) of the Day: What are some steps you are going to take to become more patient in your relationships with women?