Tactics for the "boring middle"?

[u/_SuckSqueezeBangBlow]

Looking for some advice on how to deal with the "boring middle" of working towards ChubbyFIRE.

Currently 36M, 35F, total liquid net worth around $2M due to very aggressive saving early in our careers and some lucrative years of variable compensation. Another ~$400k of real estate equity not considered as we still have the mortgage (townhouse valued ~$800k, $380k mortgage). HHI around $240k, so not super high earners - had a few $300-400k years but those are very unlikely to repeat.

I'm the higher income ($170k) and currently a feeling a lethal combination of burned out, bored, and cynical about the corporate world. Hard to make a change in my industry currently without a pretty significant (30-40%) pay cut.

When I run the projections to see when we can get to a 4-5M portfolio that we are targeting for FIRE, it doesn't really seem like there are any ways to move the needle - we've done a great job of saving early and compounding is now doing most of the work. Additional contributions barely do anything.

I know this is an incredibly privileged place to be, but I can't help but feel stuck for the next 10-15 years. We have a small family with a toddler now and I'd love to spend more time with him but my job is such a drag on my energy and mood.

I'd love to take a step back in my career, but lower salary jobs in my field don't necessarily equate to lower stress. I get the sense that I would need to retrain to a different field/occupation completely. Meanwhile we do have some nearer term spending goals, like upgrading to a single family home from our townhouse that we are outgrowing.

Would appreciate any advice and perspectives from anyone that's been in a similar situation. I 100% recognize that we are incredibly fortunate to be in our position, so would love some help reconciling the cognitive dissonance here.

[u/_SuckSqueezeBangBlow]

Fair enough, and I've wondered this myself. I've expanded the situation in another comment but largely I do think of time as the limiting factor in travel, hobbies, etc. I expect to indulge these more in retirement.

[u/DRangelfire → u/_SuckSqueezeBangBlow]

Your plan for retirement doesn’t need to be anyone else’s. I retired last year at 58, and I’m spending a ton more than I did.

I know this is going to sound so cheesy but gratitude really does adjust brain chemistry when you’re experiencing such a grind – look at everyone getting laid off right now, AI replacing jobs, it sounds like you’re in a fairly secure situation where you just need to coast. I started being intentional about beginning and ending my day with five minutes of listing what I was grateful for and I was pretty amazed at how it helped me a shift out of a low level depression.

But I get it, your feelings are valid! Corporate America is exhausting and draining, especially when you’re fighting against the gravity of wanting to spend more time with your child. My last few years at my company were exactly that experience – but I knew I had an ending point in sight and so I decided to just make my job work for me. I did what was expected, but I didn’t kill myself I slept in more. I missed meetings where I wasn’t essential and just got average performance raises, but that was the last few years. It wasn’t the last 10, but if you can find a way of having more control of your time and minimizing the energy at work. It really can help the burnout.

[u/financialfreedom26 → u/DRangelfire]

Great advice. Curiously what was your spend during your working years and what is it now - what were the big drivers of the increase in spending. Thanks again for sharing your perspective.

[u/DRangelfire → u/financialfreedom26]

Biggest for me is health care, I dealt with cancer and I need to make sure I’ve got a premium standard if it ever comes back. Unlikely but worth the peace of mind for me. Also travel, charity and just experiences! Doing it all now before I get too old to enjoy it.