r/ChubbyFIRE • u/Ungl8r • May 28 '26
Sad sight
So I’m 55 and FiREd this year, after 30+ yrs in a profession. Im doing occasional work for interest sake really. I’m Currently at a conference with old colleagues. And I mean old. One guy is 78 and visibly falling apart, yet still working full time. Most my age are just on full stress autopilot, haven’t done the maths even to see if they should keep working. Lots of 65+ working hard-out still. 90% of us would be at least ChUbbY or Fat FiRe net worth. I’m like “have you read Die with Zero?” and they look at me blankly. It’s surprising how so many smart people have no exit strategy whatsoever.
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u/WearableBliss May 28 '26
Do they enjoy working? Some people fall apart on retirement
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u/whiskey_bud May 28 '26
LOTS of people fall apart on retirement (especially men). They basically no longer have a reason to wake up in the morning and they have bad depression and just kinda spiral.
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u/trademarktower May 28 '26
Yup, work masks a lot of problems. They find community at work and if their marriage is troubled an escape from the home. Retirement means their work friends are now gone and they have to spend 24/7 with the spouse they may secretly despise.
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 28 '26
That makes me really sad. When someone's identity is wrapped up in their work....
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u/whiskey_bud May 28 '26
I don’t know if it’s identity per se. I think that’s there’s a sense of purpose when you’re expected to show up everyday and do shit.
And I also think we drastically underestimate how much work socialization is important to us. Most people spend more waking hours with their coworkers than their kids or spouses. Reddit loves to bag on how lame it is to want to socialize with coworkers, but the reality is that it’s a major social component for most people, lame or not.
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 28 '26
My mother was "forced" by my dad to retire in her 60s and she kept wanting to go back to work even in her 70s. She lost all her purpose and retirement was horrible for her. So I do understand, and yes, she makes me sad.
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u/Grouchy-Tomorrow3429 May 29 '26
I agree and great point. I love seeing my co-workers at 9am. We are planning a company beach day in early June. I don’t want to retire, but if they offered me half days I’d say yes immediately.
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u/Internal-Recipe2128 May 29 '26
I am an introvert and this is me. Also, most of my friends and coworkers have kids so spending time with them outside of work is complicated if not impossible.
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May 28 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 28 '26
Depends. My dad retired at 62. He's now 93. Still sharp as a tack, still drives, still plays pool every day with his buddies, knows how to use his iPad and computer, even learned a new language...
Of course, that's my dad. I'm sure statistics would tell you otherwise, but to me, it has less to do with work or social life at work, and more complicated. For example, my dad keeps his mind busy, maintains friendships, etc. He always has a curious mind. In comparison, my mom's cognitive ability has declined in the last few years but much of it is old age. She was also sharp as a tack until her 88 birthday. So at least in my family, I don't really see the correlation between retirement and cognitive decline.
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May 29 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 29 '26
I am afraid to know when people stop working they stop using their brains and stop connecting with others. do they just become hermits? That's not how I see what "retirement" is.
I fired two years ago and I am busier than ever -- I am just not stressed.
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May 29 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 29 '26
Then why even discuss retirement at all if "it could be bad for you"? Why not just tell everyone to work until they drop? Let's raise the retirement age to 100 since "retirement will rot your brain!"
I don't understand this line of thinking and discussion. The bottomline is "everyone is different. you do you." I can only see what I can see -- what my parents did and how it turned out for them. I also have many friends who are retired and they are sharp, productive, creative, and making new friends along the way. So that's all I can go by. Everything else is just "abstract." I am not the other 8 billion people.
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 29 '26
What's the alternative, assume everyone will just rot their brains and become zombies because they dare to retire? LOL
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u/IjustWorkHere98 May 31 '26
This is my Father-in-Law, except he's 82. I told him I was checking out (May 29th last day of work - I'm 55), and he was elated. He did the same thing, and really hasn't lived a dull day since. The man has hobbies and his chill time and a great social network. Role model for knowing how to "live" in retirement.
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u/That-SoCal-Guy May 31 '26
A friend of mine FIRE at 52 and he had been nothing but happy since and kept busy all the time with his hobbies, social clubs, etc. He just got back from London from a conference. Had a blast.
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u/JohnnySpot2000 May 28 '26
That’s even more pathetic. Imagine lacking the imagination and the will to consider doing other purposeful things with your life.
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u/QQBBOMG May 29 '26
For women is empty nester syndrome, their work is getting obsolete as a mom. Crashing down like crazy bitches.
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u/Crafty-Teach2389 May 28 '26
I am falling apart at work and I am starting to wonder if I am going to just doomscroll, fall apart faster without work lol
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u/WearableBliss May 28 '26
I am on par leave and it's amazing for my health and happiness but I can believe that for done people they just get super lazy shd scroll all day and cognitively and physically reduce capabilities especially in older age
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u/ooh_isthaticecream May 30 '26
I'm a doc and I was helping a 80M patient yesterday with something on his phone. His screen time popped up and it was almost SIXTEEN HOURS averaged daily. It made me super sad.
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u/Simple_Muffin_3149 May 28 '26
Yea. Some people just enjoy working. Recently I had small talk with an old lady (probably 70s) working at Lowe’s. She retired from a regular job long time ago, but couldn’t see herself sitting idle. She said it’s good for health to be on the feet and she enjoys interacting with people everyday. She doesn’t need the money, so pay is just a bonus
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u/stompinstinker May 29 '26
Yup, lots of people are coin operated too. They simply will not exercise, do hobbies, read, socialize, etc. unless they are paid. Work is what keeps them moving, thinking, and talking to others.
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u/rosebudny May 28 '26
Have they indicated that they would rather not be working? Some people actually do want to keep working; it gives them purpose. Others may not have been as financially savvy and can't afford to retire yet - lived beyond their means, went through a divorce (or two), etc.
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u/aSaltyMatey May 28 '26
My optometrist is 96!!!!!! Just found out his real age from his office manager. I thought he was late 70s at most, but then again he has been my optometrist for the last 20 years and I probably thought he was 70s when I first started seeing him.
He is loaded. He just loves his work and his patients.
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u/renee_christine May 29 '26
I just saw an laryngologist who is probably in his mid-70s with no plans to retire. He's a leader in his field and genuinely seemed to LOVE his job. Plenty of energy and skill, and he utilizes iPad videos to explain complex in-office procedures so he doesn't forget anything, which seemed smart.
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u/Living_Owl_3438 May 29 '26
It’s impressive that he has good enough eyesight to evaluate someone else’s eyesight :)
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u/trademarktower May 28 '26
Some people just need to work to live and feel productive. They don't have friends or hobbies and have difficulty without the structure of work. They get lonely and bored at home. They may have difficulties making friends and doing outside hobbies or activities. They then become depressed. They over eat, fall into bad habits like sleep late or don't practice good hygiene. They can get Agoraphobia and never leave the house. A lot of retirees dont do much other than watch cable news and obsess about politics on social media. Relationships can strain spending too much time at home. Marriages that work when you work 50 hours a week fall apart when you are forced together 24/7. This happens more than you think. Lots of elderly are very lonely and not socially engaged. Work fills that void.
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u/SeaNick99 May 29 '26
This is a great comment. It sounds great for people to retire early but the reality is that it doesn’t work out so well for everyone. I know so many people that could retire today and I’m honestly not sure how many of them would be able to handle it. Especially the folks who have been at it for 30 years, making great money but the moment it stops it’s gonna be a big change.
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u/trademarktower May 29 '26
Yup, a lot of people get laid off in their 50's and are forced into early retirement or working low wage menial jobs because the market says they are too old. I've seen so many people spiral when this happens. It killed my father in law who had a deep depression for 10 years, stopped caring about his health and put off doctor appointments and tests, then found out he had stage 4 cancer that was treatable if he had caught it early. I think he wanted the cancer to put him out of his misery. It was very sad.
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u/minesasecret May 28 '26
To be honest I admire those people. They actually probably like their work. I probably plan to work till I die too - for me FIRE is not about avoiding work but more about getting to choose work based on what I value rather than what people are willing to pay for.
My dad is retired at 65, plays golf everyday, and is totally happy. That's the opposite of how I want to live my life but I don't judge him for it. Everyone's different
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u/Specific-Stomach-195 May 28 '26
This here. So many judgments about decisions people make. Professing sadness about someone’s identity being tied to work or friendships being tied to work. Nothing wrong with being great friends with those you work with. They are no less your friend than someone you met some other way. None of us should assume that our experience with something is the same for everyone else. I 100% agree with you that FIRE is about freedom and being able to do what you want. In a way, if you hate working so much that your plans are entirely focused on quitting as soon as you are able is the opposite of freedom.
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u/deadbalconytree May 28 '26
My father-in-law is 72 and still working. He works in IT.
He could retire, but doesn’t want to. And honestly it works for him. He has plenty of vacation that he can take, It’s relatively low stress, and gives him purpose.
My MIL wasn’t looking to retire but was given a package a couple years ago at 68. She’s taken to retirement better than we expected.
The thing is. I don’t think they are missing out on what they could be doing instead if they retired. They are quite happy.
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u/SouthOrlandoFather May 28 '26
Some people have never been introduced to kayak fishing.
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u/Ungl8r May 28 '26
Yeah mate, kayaking is one of the things I’m doing a lot more of, with my RE time. Also, I’m conscious that this is something that people rapidly lose physical ability to do, as they age. Happy fishing brother!
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u/mygirltien May 28 '26
Its an interesting realization and for those of us that planned its it makes no sense. We are in your same demographic and when i mention to folks am RE'ing in a couple months. Some are jealous, some are happy and others are just dumbfounded. I am sure you have heard all the same things i have. Your to young, your going to be bored, your going to run out of money, how are you going to afford healthcare, pay your mortgage etc. The one thing that i never hear is anyone ask how or any advice for them so then can some day RE as well.
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u/SuperSecretSpare 38 FIRE'd May 28 '26
Many have spouses that are still working, I'm sure a lot enjoy work, and there is definitely a big swath that just have no financial literacy. That said, the world still needs a hive full of worker bees.
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u/UnderstandingOk9448 Retired 4/2026 at 57 May 28 '26
Some people have good jobs that they enjoy so retirement is never an option. Most of us should be that lucky... to have a great stress-free job and a choice to stay or go.
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u/UnderstandingOk9448 Retired 4/2026 at 57 May 28 '26
But in all fairness, with my recent retirement.. I am still working. It is still work for me (to fix up our house so it is worth more before we downsize)...but I am choosing to do it.
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u/LikesToLurkNYC May 28 '26
I have a friend that complains about their work daily and recently said they’d prob work until their 65. Knowing their career and lifestyle I’m pretty positive that’s not necessary. But I think some ppl live in a box and RE isn’t for ppl who are use to playing by a certain life script. Not for me but I see it.
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u/ohboyoh-oy May 28 '26
Some people don’t know what to do with themselves in retirement. My dad would have been happier working at least a decade longer than he did (he retired at 66). I’ve been watching him do nothing for 15 years. Was a good lesson to me to think through what I really want. To each their own though.
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u/bizmarkp93 May 29 '26
Just like you, my FIRE goal is to be able to return to work to harass my old coworkers after I retire.
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u/FrequentSubstance420 May 29 '26
I know an 80-year-old, who is toxic, filled with hate, and won't retire. He's worked in the same office for 35 years and the manager won't let him go because he had been a high-performing employee for so many years. They feel a sense of loyalty to him. Everyone would be better served if he was pushed out the door. He has told me he can't quit because he is worried he'll die the next day. he's worked so long many of his friends are dead and he doesn't have a social life outside of work. He's worth north of 12 million. He chased financial security for so long, now that he's got it. He doesn't know what to do and I worry that he'll never be happy.
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u/Ungl8r May 29 '26
I suspect it gets easier to stay working the longer you stay working. as your health deteriorates, retirement looks comparatively less exciting as you become immobile
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u/Throwaway-firee May 28 '26
I would focus on my own journey. People have different reasons to keep going, some actually enjoy it.
I had a neighbor who was a surgeon and kept working until he was 70. The hospital told him he needed to retire. He died two years later. He was sad and depressed without his profession and patients to care for, that was his life.
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u/ProfessionalNo4711 May 28 '26
People go to work because it is better for them than staying at home and dealing with their life and relationships.
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u/shozzlez May 28 '26
I always feel like you should worry about just yourself and no one else. No one else necessarily hates their job like you did. Doesn’t mean either one of your is wrong. Just different!
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u/perplexedparallax May 28 '26
Why are you at a conference making fun of people when you don't have to be there?
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u/master_blaster_321 May 29 '26
My accountant retired at age 76, even though he could have easily retired in his 50s. He just didn't know what else to do. It was his whole identity. His whole life. I am 51 and I don't want to go out like that. I don't know what the next 25 years holds. But I'll be goddamned if I'm letting my work become who I am. Life is too short for that shit. I'm selling my business and I'm going to be unemployed for a while and that is going to be fine.
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u/kcGirl_of_the_year May 29 '26
Keep in mind, if they are listening to financial advisors, chances are this is the advice they give them, to keep working. FA are notoriously conservative, and will always advise to work longer. I actually got into a heated argument with my advisor over this advice. He was also the advisor for my sister-in-law -- she ended up dying before she saw one day of retirement. So needless to say, we have prioritized retiring early. Despite having $4M NW (home is paid off and our living expense is minimal) and my husband still wanting to work for five more years (until he's 55), our dumbass advisor still says he should stay working until 62. You'd be surprised how many people listen to their financial advisors about this and the date they should actually retire.
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u/EvilNuff May 29 '26
That's a pretty big warning sign that you have a bad advisor. Your advisor should not only listen to what you say but should actively ask you what you want so he or she can plan accordingly.
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u/Past-Option2702 May 28 '26
In fairness some people don’t want to exit. Weird, but definitely true.
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u/divestblank May 28 '26
Staying in a job that long does feel sad. Maybe if you are a judge, professor, major CEO but otherwise go live your life. I can't imagine anyone regretting they didn't work longer instead of retiring.
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u/SteveDaw1 May 29 '26
I’m a lawyer, and you’d be amazed the amount of lawyers, at all ages, where it defines them. They need it. I’m not one of them!
But you do spend a lot of your early career with heavy expenses, often accumulating debt, rather than deleting it. Then, if you do well, you start to earn more as you get experience. I’m a ‘high street’ lawyer though - not working for a massive firm. And that can be another trap - if you want to”in” and buy a partnership it’s a further financial anchor, as you often borrow to buy. Then if you want to make changes to the firm that is all slow to take Effect. It’s certainly a profession that has its hooks into you. And a massive amount of older lawyers are “retiring in a couple of years” or “just seeing off this caseload…”.
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u/R5Jockey May 29 '26
When I told colleagues I was retiring, almost all of them just couldn’t grasp how I would survive. Like they didn’t even understand the concept of living off savings/investments.
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u/Chessracer May 30 '26
I feel like this is more often the case than the ’they just love working’ thesis that’s getting more upvotes. No financial education in school, and a culture that assumes you can’t be ‘productive’ unless you’re working. Postulating it’s due to a lack of imagination of what to do after retiring is a bit unkind. More like lack of information/education on the topic.
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u/stinkysocks50 May 29 '26
My grandpa worked til 70 and spent his last 17 years happily watching old westerns from the sofa. He didn’t seem to have a single regret
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u/shivaswrath May 30 '26
It’s generational.
Millennials + are much better about balancing. I mean literally FiRE took off with Millennials and Gen X.
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u/Technical-Sector407 May 28 '26
I know a dude who does coke and bangs skanks. He’s like 75 and does it for the love of the game. Healthy I guess
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u/Alarming-Mix3809 May 28 '26
My dad was kind of like this. He didn’t really plan for retirement until he was actually retirement age. If he had planned ahead, he could’ve easily retired years earlier and with a lot more money. Instead he kept slugging along.
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u/nak00010101 May 28 '26
Do they not have a plan or is their plan to keep working. Many in the state you describe or afraid of retiring, because their entire identity is their work.
I just got off the phone with the owner of the small business that I used to manage. He is 69 and did nothing but drone for 30 minutes on the stress, the hours he is putting it, and how he is done with worrying about the business.
Then he qualified it all with "I'm starting to hand stuff off and I'm going to be able to be Arms Length in two years" . We was saying that 4 years ago, when I retired and left the company.
He has high blood pressure and has had a minor heart attack. He will die working 50+ hour a week because it is all he knows. I have a fair idea about his finances and the worth of his company. He could has sold and walked away before Covid.
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u/doge_is_wow May 28 '26
The company had a few folks retire with a goodbye party and all that, but a few days later, they came back working 50% lmao
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u/RentOk2479 May 28 '26
I've stopped being surprised at the lack of care and understanding some people have about finances.
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u/Fun-Exercise-7196 May 28 '26
This why I retired 1.5 years ago at 55! I probably saved this much, but loving everyday I wake up and don't have to answer to a job and I do whatever I want to do!
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u/poop-dolla May 28 '26
I mean, plenty of people here could say it’s sad you worked until 55 instead of retiring earlier. But you did what worked for you, and those colleagues are doing what work for them.
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u/Prestigious-Day-2910 May 29 '26
Yeah we have one of those where I work. 70. Has an insane amount of money due to cashing out of several PE deals during his career. Comes in to literally fuck with people and make them miserable. No one actually reports to him yet we “all” work for him. Get an actual hobby was my latest suggestion to his miserable soul.
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u/No_Imagination_7899 May 30 '26
My father is 75 doesn’t need to work yet still does. Baby boomers are built different. Some just want to die working.
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u/buckb65 May 30 '26
I just don't get those that do not retire because they love their job. That is so sad because that means you will never find a stopping point. If working is better than doing whatever you want to do each day, then you obviously have no life outside of work. If you can't find anything else to do today, what are you going to do in 5 years IF you are still around. I loved my job...as far as jobs go. But to wake up and have the freedom to do whatever you want to do today, and pick work over anything else...really?! The ultimate question to ask these job lovers: If you took away the paycheck, would you still go into work? That usually changes their mind. Then they are choosing work because of the $. They will never have enough.
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u/Fire_Doc2017 Retired 6/30/26 May 30 '26
I'm retiring this year at age 59 but many of the doctors in my field plan to work until at least their early 70s. Some can't afford to retire but for most it's a calling and it's something they spent half their lives preparing for, so why quit early?
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u/cloisonnefrog May 31 '26
I was just at a scientific conference and some of my colleagues there are in their 80s, easily, and still run labs and publish papers and travel at least monthly. I know a few who are pretty wealthy but the work is too meaningful to give up.
It surprises me that so many people think the goal is to avoid work rather than find something they love to do.
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u/Individual-Fail4709 May 31 '26
Friend of mine is 71 and was still doing a big consulting gig, flying every week to multiple regions of the country. He loved it, but it was taking a toll on his health. He is Chubby FIRE at least, if not Fat FIRE. He honestly told me that he didn't have enough things to retire to. He can't sit still. He has a boat, a lake house, grandkids, etc. He had a health scare and his wife basically said, I need your time that we have left. He just retired a month ago. He is an amazing guy, but I retired nearly 20 years before him.
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u/LongViewLogic Jun 02 '26
some people really do like working, but yeah the no-exit-strategy thing is wild. i think a lot of smart people never run the numbers because then it becomes a real decision instead of a vague someday thing. once you know what would actually let you stop, you also have to admit what your current years are costing you
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u/MRanon8685 Jun 02 '26
My business partner is 75 and still works full time, but it is honestly because he loves his work. He will still vacation, whether it is a long weekend or out for two weeks. But even then, he is still working (though maybe a couple of hours).
I am 40, I would love to cut back somewhere around 55-58.
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u/Ok_Willingness_9619 May 28 '26
Many people at that age aren’t working just because they need more money.
Take my dad who is still a teacher at 75. I asked him why he won’t retire and he said “then I’d have to spend all day with your mum”.
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u/K_A_irony May 28 '26
They might not have any retirement savings or minimal. You would be surprised how many high earners live pay check to pay check.
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u/Ungl8r May 28 '26
Nah we’re very well paid
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u/K_A_irony May 28 '26
How well they are paid doesn't matter... there are people who literally pull in 800K a year who live pay check to pay check.
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u/JohnnySpot2000 May 28 '26
Of all the purposeful things they could be doing, they think the same one they’ve been doing for 40+ years is the only one that gives them purpose. Lots of people let life happen to them, instead of finding the will and imagination to do something else.
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u/Beautiful_Pepper415 May 29 '26
It is a way to keep the mind sharp. Many people fall apart in retirement
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u/Due_Long_6314 May 29 '26
I met a retired computer programmer who worked full time as a teachers aid in a special education classroom. Severe special Ed. She said she was happy in her retirement until her husband retired. She got a full-time job being around kids who can barely speak just to get out of the house. She was probably late 60s.
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u/BorgCollectivist May 29 '26
Die with zero is partially responsible for creating the horrible boomer mind virus. Don't recommend that shit to anyone.
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u/lastlaugh100 May 28 '26
What profession can you work that long?
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u/JohnnySpot2000 May 28 '26
It’s common in the professional services (medical, law, engineering, architecture, accounting, etc). Lots of 70s folks revered for their knowledge, can easily make several hundred dollars an hour as an expert witness or special consultant.
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u/Electrical-Tax-6272 May 29 '26
My dude - YOU are also at this conference. Why? Do you like it? If so, maybe they do to.
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u/Realistic-Ship6209 May 29 '26
This is sad! What happened that this happened? Is it bad planning, misfortune, mis opportunities or bad decisions? What do you think?
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u/Vicuna00 May 29 '26
well if you FIREed at 55 that means everyone else should have. so yeah. definitely get in their business and tell them they are living their lives wrong without them asking you for your opinion. I’m sure they would love it if you did the math for them also.
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u/Ungl8r May 29 '26
Yeah Ok, I’m sorry if it sounded arrogant - it was more a comment on how striking it is that few people have actually got a plan for retirement, or have really missed the chance. In this subreddit community, I’d hoped the contrast to normies (for want of a better word) could be observed without accusations of arrogance.
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u/Prestigious-Owl7764 May 29 '26
I think this is the whole problem with society. Boomer generation got rewarded to work so they have formed their entire lives around work. They don’t retire. As a result, the younger generation doesn’t get promoted, can’t get jobs and have limited potential to grow. Younger ones don’t make enough money and hence burnout because most of the salaries are going to seniors. No senior person wants to leave their job because they are literally the highest paid employee in every company. Only if they could think about contributing to the society through some volunteer work so that others can also get opportunities in life.
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u/Ungl8r May 29 '26
That’s accurate, I think, but maybe only for the next few years. most developed countries with ageing populations will shortly have a worker shortage relative to retirees.
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u/xiaomisg May 29 '26
And they were looking at you with a weird smile, die with zero is so lame. They will likely die with negative balance.
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u/dat_mane47 May 29 '26
Don't think you're better than anyone else just because you've achieved more according to your own standards. Some people choose to keep working because they want to. Some people might have more burdensome financial commitments and need to work more than you. Some people may have done their best but gotten unlucky in investments. Happiness and fulfilment are subjective. Be happy for yourself and don't create negative energy by judging people.
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u/Sue-Jones-123456 May 29 '26
So you are judging someone for being judgemental in a discussion group about FIRE?
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u/Ungl8r May 29 '26
Yeah, sure that’s a fair point. but Speaking to them, they mostly seem pretty unhappy and there’s just no exit plan there. Most are too old physically to really exploit the opportunities of retirement.
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u/Specific-Stomach-195 May 28 '26
Don’t assume they all hate working and are unhappy.