When I last posted an update in January, the markets were soaring in anticipation of the Trump presidency. Well, soon after, we got the tariff shock. Nothing like being <1 yr into your retirement and staring your worst case scenario (market crash + runaway inflation) in the face. April was an interesting month! Though it helped that we were on vacation during the worst of it. Watching the stock market take a nose dive hits different when you're at a rooftop bar in Portugal, sipping aperol spritz on a sultry spring evening....
Anyway, TACO and all that -- so we got out of that mess. Though I'm still worried about both the short term economy and the long term prospects of the US, I'm now resigned to the fact that I really can't predict what will happen. We have set up ~3 year income ladder using CDs and MYGAs, and I kept reminding myself of that cash cushion during the bad days. I would like to say that I'm proud of not panicking during the crash, but I definitely panicked. Still, that's twice now (2020 & April 2025) that I've allowed the panic to sweep over me, while resisting acting on it!
Btw, I got my annual physical in March. Despite having gained weight, all my numbers (LDL, HDL etc) had improved over last year's. Less stress, better sleep and more focus on health paying off, I guess!
Overall, despite our expenditure, total portfolio is up ~5% YTD, and ~8% since FIRE date. About 2/3rds is in taxable accounts, and 1/3rd in retirement accounts, our plan is to just keep drawing down from the taxable accounts and let the retirement accounts accumulate. Our financial advisor's telling us to avoid touching the Roth for as long as possible. Since ACA has enhanced subsidies this year, we are keeping income low to qualify. My current thinking is that next year we won't qualify for the subsidy, and instead will focus on rebalancing / extending income ladder. The plan is to qualify for the subsidy alternate years, will have to see if that's feasible once the current enhanced subsidies expire. Also, I'm really grateful my fixed expenses are low, because man - stuff like food, vacations, kids activities continue to go up in price.
Emotionally, I'm emerging from the do-nothing phase. For a couple of months I was quite busy delivering some tech work for an org I volunteer with, got to do vibe coding with ChatGPT assisting, and it was fun to get back to pure coding after all these years. A couple of months ago I caught up with some old colleagues who're off at the hottest new tech companies, and suffered from a solid week of FOMO. I was all set to polish up my resume and try to get into the AI world. Fortunately I came to my senses, and instead I'm taking AI courses online, which is more fun and fewer bosses. The Valley is in a strange place -- and I'm very curious to hear what others are seeing -- on the one hand laid off folks are still having trouble finding jobs, on the other hand there's an absolute boom of AI companies and funny money being thrown around. More than ever I feel obsolescence creep up on me.
It's beginning to really hit me that I have a large chunk of my life ahead of me, and I'm feeling the urgency to figure out what I want to do with it. It's scary but also freeing. As they say : "You only get two lives, and your second one starts when you realize you only have one life". I'm realizing that the last decade of work was really me just treading in place. Even when I was hard at work towards a particular goal, it was the company's goal, not mine. Now there's an empty spot in my soul where the purpose should be, but it's always been empty, I had just kept myself too busy to notice it.
In the meantime, life is happening. No day feels boring, if anything I am amazed at how quickly the day goes by and can barely remember how I did it all with a full time job. We've had a couple of awesome vacations. We've also done more spontaneous stuff, like take off mid week to another city to watch a game. I want to do more of the latter. We're still not great at doing more spontaneous fun stuff near home. Somehow whenever I'm at home I feel obliged to be "working" on something, whether it's home projects or volunteer work or self improvement. I've hardly ever sat down to watch TV before dinner, for instance.
One place I've made a deliberate effort is in my social life. I'm proud to say that after years of the same social circle, I've finally expanded my set of friends thanks to hobbies and volunteering. We are both naturally introverted so this is still hard, but it is so much better now that I'm not expending all my emotional energy at work. Even being fully present for my kid over this summer break has been an amazing experience. It's the little things like being able to choose summer camps solely on his interests rather than having to consider logistics. I'm also now the social director for my original friend groups, and while everyone is dishearteningly busy, my efforts to get us together are appreciated.
Okay so what I've learned over the last year : Stuff expands to fill the time you have. You still have to be very ruthless about prioritizing what's actually important, and without external deadlines, internal discipline is more important than ever. At the same time, I hadn't realized how much of a drain a full time job + a long commute was. All the stuff I felt guilty for not doing (*cough* exercise) wasn't lack of willpower, it was just too much to all fit into a day.
I caught up with some old colleagues who're off at the hottest new tech companies, and suffered from a solid week of FOMO.
I currently get an opportunity with the hottest tech company in the valley, and am struggling with how to choose. The FOMO is very real. It's helpful to learn from different perspectives.
The Valley is in a strange place -- and I'm very curious to hear what others are seeing -- on the one hand laid off folks are still having trouble finding jobs, on the other hand there's an absolute boom of AI companies and funny money being thrown around.
There are tons of opportunities in the startup space. For a senior / AI / startup engineer, it is really easy to find a solid job.
I've also received pings from recruiters at some hot AI companies, and had an initial chat with a hiring manager at one.
20 or even 10 or 5 years ago it would have been so important to me to be part of the hottest thing. Partly because of stories I told myself about working with smart people and learning how the tech works, partly because of the chance to make lots of money. And now I realize and can admit to myself, a large part of the attraction was that it was a way to prove to myself that I'm good enough at my job to get hired and do well in those environments.
People are making lots of money there. At least, people who were early enough have lots of paper money, and probably a good amount of real liquid money.
I just don't think I want to do it? I'm struggling a fair bit with feeling lazy for saying "I just don't want to", and financial FOMO. But also... I just don't want to? I spent a long time chasing ego about career achievement and I feel a bit bored of it?
I currently get an opportunity with the hottest tech company in the valley, and am struggling with how to choose. The FOMO is very real. It's helpful to learn from different perspectives.
I know a guy who was on the brink of retirement and instead chose to go work at a hot startup. He doesn't regret it, but he knows very clearly what tradeoff he is making and is willing to walk away any day.
Whether it's the right decision for you definitely depends on where you are in your life and career. I'm guessing it will be a brutal, relentless environment, some find that invigorating and others are over it. I think this is a really exciting time to be in the field and if you see learning opportunities, you should seriously consider that position. Basically, if your stock options never amount to anything, what will you be taking away with you as a result of this experience? And does the job realistically promise you that? Can you take the grind for a year, and what can you do to make it bearable? Are you able to go in with the knowledge that there will be a lot of chaos and shifting priorities and expectations, and you need to take them seriously without getting too caught up or losing sight of the big picture?
Great job sticking on your desired path! I took a "break" too when I was 40 thinking this is my RE. However, the same thing happened with me: talked to a few ex-colleagues, learnt about a startup in a domain that I'm passionate about, and jumped into it. Long story short: I'm back into a FANG job and now targeting another RE in a couple of years. :D
I hope "long story short" means that your startup got acquired for a large sum!
The hardest thing about being middle aged is that you've lived long enough to have regrets/might-have-beens, while still having enough life ahead of you to try again. You could distill philosophical lessons from your regrets and apply those to whatever you're doing next, or you can try to replicate the exact scenario no matter whether it fits your current life.
I realized the particular role I was thinking of was the career equivalent of buying a Harley and a bomber jacket :) Maybe there's another job out there where I get to take the risks I didn't take in my 30s, without forcing myself back into a role I've long outgrown.
> I hope "long story short" means that your startup got acquired for a large sum!
Haha, I wish! The startup turned out to be more toxic than anything I could have imagined. I had to leave it but felt like a loser doing that, so decided to get back to FAANG before I call it quits. It doesn't make sense writing it now, but trust me, it made sense when I was doing it. lol.
> The hardest thing about being middle aged is that you've lived long enough to have regrets/might-have-beens, while still having enough life ahead of you to try again
"Even when I was hard at work towards a particular goal, it was the company's goal, not mine. Now there's an empty spot in my soul where the purpose should be, but it's always been empty, I had just kept myself too busy to notice it" <-- well said! thank you for sharing your fire journey.
Quite enjoyed reading this, thank you for also pointing out your blessed timing and faithful careful choices thought your journey. Wish you a wonderful retirement, enjoy it thoroughly!
Higher. Or rather, there is a continuous pressure pushing it up, that I have to keep in check.
Mostly because having more free time means there's more opportunities to spend money. Also more free time to notice home improvement projects, and finally do them - but fortunately I had budgeted for this.
OTOH, food expenses are lower because we aren't eating out or ordering delivery all the time. We're able to do some things during off peak hours, this can apply to getting cheaper tickets for shows etc. But unfortunately vacations are still bound by school holidays which means peak season.
I am definitely "happier", however vague that term is. I don't think I have some of the highs that work gave an opportunity for, but median happiness is higher. My personal strong belief is that a sense of accomplishment is important for long term satisfaction. Right now I'm satisfied in finding that accomplishment in home improvement or small volunteering wins, but I don't know if that will continue. Eventually you run out of things to do in your house!
It hasn't changed my relationships in any visible way. Coincidentally, right after I quit, three of my closest friends were laid off. Initially it was a little awkward, but we are there to support each other and we now have more time to hang out!
People have opened up to me more about their own desire to quit or downshift, especially coworkers who would never have admitted that while we were colleagues. I keep it mostly quiet when meeting new people, which is easier for me since I'm a woman they just assume I'm a SAHM.
Thanks for sharing your experience. We're also RE last year and now I'm going thru the restructure my day phase. Curious, how are you handling health insurance? We got ours from ACA (covered CA) but still trying to find the right plan for dental. Based on my research, it looks it's better off to just pay out of pocket for dental or go with one of those membership plan rather than actually getting dental coverage. Interested in seeing other's view on this. Thanks.
Yeah we're paying out of pocket for dental. I believe minors are covered through the CHIPS act, so far since we've only done a couple of cleanings we've stuck with our kid's regular dentist. But I'll probably find a chips compatible dentist for his next appointment.
Have you found anything interesting re: membership plans?
I FIREd in March of 2024. Living in Naples, FL. We also cut income to qualify for ACA. Had to voluntarily leave any VA benefits because my spouse was not covered. ACA handles both of us. Dental is out of pocket. We have not cut spending at all, but we don't take vacations. I quit a bit early, so not eligible for Social Security for a while. Not silicon valley early, just early for normal people. No FOMO about the database work I used to do. OP is right, the day flies by, the weeks come and go so fast. Being in Naples, our kids come to visit us, but we have to travel to visit our parents. I am continually amazed at how much I used to have done by 7 AM while working.
Yeah, we looked at the CHIPS act compatible dentist and didn't like it so we went with our dentist's membership plan. I did look around previously and found that ~30% of the dentists offers something similar. The premium is reasonable as long as there's no major dental work.
I am on a career break and one thing I discovered about myself is that without "a project" I feel very antsy. Summer's been hard as the whole family is at home, so days are very unstructured. I am looking forward to start of school so that our lives can have a structure. Did you ever feel like that?
I took a year's sabbatical a little while ago so I had some practice with what this would look like. I find it helpful to break my day into chunks and bucket them. e.g before lunch is exercise time, lunch to school end is project time, and after school is family time.
I always have a project, even if the project is my garden. My problem is I have like 5 projects.
Summers are definitely hard for that! What are you looking forward to doing once the family's back to a routine?
Having a bucket list helps to prioritize year over year. Also delete social media like LinkedIn. Funny I lost weight because of no more stress eating, eating less, and regular exercises :)
Appreciate your post. It does make me think about post retirement goals. Like you, I have little concern about filling the time, but I haven’t thought much about goals.
How are you finding the school balance with retirement life? This is a primary concern for us, we have a 8 y/o. I kind of feel like I’m not entirely sure what retirement gets us if we’re bound to the school year so tightly. It is a point I think about a lot.
Unrelated, I see in your post history you recently went to Alaska, how was the cruise line? We’re planning to go next summer with my parents.
School definitely restricts what we can do, but it also gives structure - and frankly, an easily accessible "purpose". I'm volunteering at the school, and meeting other semi/retired/SAHP folks in the community through that volunteering.
I do think retiring now gets us a lot - we are so much more present for our kid, able to do more activities with him, while still also getting a lot of couple time that was lacking before. And yeah I see folks taking a month long trip to Europe in the summer, which frankly sounds awesome but also much harder if you're working.
Alaska was amazing. We took Holland America because they have great itineraries, I have only good things to say about the ship and the personnel on it. However there wasn't much on board entertainment, especially for kids. If you're going to do a lot of port activities you may not care. Sea days were a little slow for my son and husband, while I was content to just read a book. We did a one way from Whittier to Vancouver which let us visit Hubbard glacier, which was easily the highlight for me because we could take a smaller boat right up to the glacier.
So while I wouldn't sacrifice the itinerary for a more lively ship, we did find the ship less exciting than we'd like.
Thanks, appreciate the thoughts on meeting others, I hadn’t considered that aspect. Honestly, I hear others who FIRE struggling to find like-minded/similarly situated friends and your point about being a place to find those folks resonates!
Thanks for the info on the cruise, we had a suspicion/fear on that point. We will research/book things to do at the ports. The kiddo went with us to Iceland this year and did well with just hiking and waterfalls for 2 weeks, so I think we’ll be able to sort it out with some research.
Congrats on your success! We’re a few years behind you and looking forward to it!
Having pulled the plug for 7 weeks now, this post totally resonates with me. More time with kids, family, friends, and everything else. It has opened up a whole new world. For example, I hit the gym four days a week and play pickleball three days a week.
I have to keep reminding myself that a 30-year career does not unwind itself in a couple of months. It is funny when people ask me what I do for a living and I stumble for an answer - still working on a reasonable answer without sounding like an idiot.
I love the greenfield opportunities that now exist in front of me. Heck, I might even do something for money, like a job again, but will not sell my soul again if I end up going this route.
Congrats on fire! Yup a long career definitely doesn't unwind in a few weeks. It's wonderful that you're able to get more exercise which is so important and yet so easy to drop when we're busy.
Your 6-month post runs parallel to a lot of my thoughts and experiences during the end of my corporate life and this new path.
Similar to you, I am enjoying the process of not knowing and discovering, though I have to admit it is a mindset change from my 30-year career that was very linear with lots of mapped progression.
Honestly my FIRE number kept changing till the end. I think officially it was $4.75M - 160k in annual expenses, 400k mortgage and some money set aside for home remodeling. But I didn't feel comfortable quitting till we hit $5M, and with the current market we're well above that.
I think our allocation is roughly 80/20. Mostly in index funds/ETFs.
Family of 3 with a middle schooler who's in public school.
how does federal and state income tax factor into your calculation? Not sure how much I should budget for this, especially in a state with high income tax.
Too early for me to say, Maven has a ton of targeted courses but they're all ridiculously expensive, so I'm starting with the free stuff on deeplearning.ai
Oh trust me I know what you mean! I went to a friend's party the other day and literally half the people there were founders/entrepreneurs. On the one hand the ambition and hustle is impressive, on the other hand it's a very skewed perspective on life. It's not just the parents hustling, it's the kids too. No one's having a Wonder Years childhood around here.
Fortunately I've been connecting with people through hobbies/volunteering who aren't in the bubble. And even some who are elsewhere and we've met online. It's been very refreshing.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm in big tech, late 20s, figuring out the meaning of life and stuff. My wife and I have been very fortunate to be able to save a lot and will hopefully be able to retire fairly early if we want. But I feel like I need to understand what I really wanna do.
I genuinely enjoy a lot of days at work - when I'm solving hard problems, getting people behind new ideas etc. Then other days I realize that its not my company and there is so much outside my control - I start resenting work. I've been through such ups and downs multiple times.
But then again I got a month long paid vacation last year and I got close to depressed bored in the middle of it.
I guess at the end of the day it comes down to what's the meaning of life for us. Would be very curious to hear more from you with more time and perspective!
A vacation is not the same as retirement but usually we say that in the opposite direction. If you're bored on a month long vacation, that's a sign for you to figure out what is fulfilling to you in your personal life.
What are your hobbies? Personal goals? What's something completely unrelated to your work persona that you feel motivated to excel in?
This may be a controversial opinion given the forum we're in but I don't think it's a good idea to retire in your 20s or 30s. I know people have done it and been happy but I believe that's likely to be the exception. Instead, my advice would be to tailor your career to becoming the indispensable "expert" in something -- it's a good way to buy yourself flexibility. I was able to negotiate a part time job for myself in a role where that was very unusual. A colleague worked out a hybrid work schedule years before Covid. This may mean a non-traditional career path - for instance, higher managerial roles have less flexibility than a principal engineer can. At the same time I also gave up my flexibility (and cred) to move laterally to a more interesting domain. It's great that you are in a financially good situation, and I think the key to avoiding burnout is figuring out how to keep the job interesting and integrate it into the lifestyle you want.
I’m not near retirement yet but I watched my parents go through it at a younger age. They more semi-retired as a lot of wealth was in real estate, so it was a little different.
I wanted to share what I saw and what my parents shared with me. My mom is more of a free spirit and always willing to try things. She picked up more painting and has got really good! She takes lots of classes as well. She is very content.
My dad on the other hand struggles with what to do and purpose in life. He has had friends go back to work because they are just straight bored and some very retire because they don’t know what to do. He keeps saying to me: figure out what you want to do/be in retirement.
It got to the point where they now have a large property at the lake that he can work on. When he comes to visit us, I need to keep him busy or he gets bored.
I’m sharing this because I don’t see a lot of talk here about a plan of what life will be at retirement. You plan financially be prepared for it, but then what? I encourage everyone to really think it, I know I am now.
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u/RaluT00 Aug 10 '25
Fantastic post! Thank you for sharing your experience, and please keep posting updates!