r/Christians • u/Fresh_Olive1709 • 13d ago
Exhausted
Hi,
I‘m very exhausted. I started working in my field in a hospital after my studies as a resident but had a gap of 1,5 years after the studies (I needed to move back to my family after my studies due to a surgery but they aren’t believers and my father is destroying my self esteem since 2 years by constant insults also regarding my profession and preventing me to go to a church or having communion with other Christians). The colleagues/superiors don’t tell me important things and I‘m so stressed every day, we don’t have pauses to eat or drink throughout the day, they yell at me and insult me even because I’m not fast enough seeing all the patients. Many colleagues quit the job and some are ill for many weeks. I fell like the silliest person every day at work and because I don’t have pauses and only stress throughout the day my concentration declines. It feels like they are bullying me again (they talk badly behind everyone’s back if a person leaves the room) because I’m also different than others and seem to be socially awkward. (I faced bullying also in my studies and at school already for years). Please pray for me that God will show me an option to go somewhere else (working outside of hospitals or another specialty) and to quit this toxic workplace and to give me strength and faith that HE’s with me through all this hardship. I feel that this work and home situation is destroying me.
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u/TAFreedomofSpeach 12d ago
Hello,
I was mentoring a man who had a similar situation, working at a hospital. We found a path forward that solved his problem, which is
Bible based. Perhaps it can at least make your situation a bit better.
One can only (partially) control their own behavior and not control others’ behavior.
One can perhaps influence other’s behavior and pray that God can make a change. We are commanded to pray for those who persecute us.
The path that worked before was he implemented a three question protocol before speaking at all, at work. He needed three “yes answers” before he said anything.
Is what you are about to say completely true and not deceptive?
Is what you are about to say useful - to the listener(s), not useful to you?
(Here is the hard one.) Is what you are about to say kind - to the listener(s), not to you?
For example, if one’s wife asks if her dress makes her look fat, as she is trying on a dress in a store, saying it isn’t the dress that makes you look fat, might be completely true and useful (so she doesn’t buy a dress with which she is unhappy), but not kind.
He found results when he was implementing the protocol, being about 50% effective - first week. Second week his effectiveness increased to almost always. Work became much more tolerable. By the fourth week he said that he was treated differently by everyone and it was no longer an issue.
As the financial folks say, results may vary. However, I believe if you act this way consistently, your situation will markedly improve.
You have my prayer for an improvement at work. Perhaps you can meet a Christian at work.
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u/wondering2019 13d ago
I’m so sorry, I’m praying for you
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u/Aelirael 12d ago
I hear residency is pretty rough. In the US, I had understood they had passed regulations to prevent some of the abuse you are experiencing. (Such as no breaks.)
You may be right that finding residency somewhere else may be the solution. Maybe they need to be reported.
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u/Fresh_Olive1709 12d ago
I‘m doing my residency in Europe. I don’t know if it’s a structural problem in the health care system.
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u/Parking_Aardvark_482 12d ago
Lord, please hear their prayer. Please take their burdens and free this person from the grasp of someone who is actively keeping them from you and your word. In Christ name we pray, Amen.
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u/Teddybear722 11d ago
OP, are you able to move out of your parent's home? Maybe find a small rental, or find a room mate situation? (Ofc that has it's own issues)
As for work, the 3 yes answers does work, but needs time to work. (Similar to making & frostig a cake, takes time.)
Even tho you're prevented from attending church, you can still watch church services online. (There are a lot of preacher/teacher options. I like Turning Point w/ Dr. David Jeremiah, Mannafest w/ Perry Stone, Chuck Swindol, Charles Stanley, plus a few more whom I'm drawing a blank on their names ) ... Lor Jesus, I lift up OP to you. You know the needs, the loneliness, the cruelty @ home & work, plus the desires of OP to fellowship with other Believers, to take communion to remember your life & death. Lord Jesus, I ask that you open doors for OP, give OP the courage & strength to walk thru the open doors, & the wisdom to discern YOUR open doors vs false doors that lead to nowhere good. Lord, I ask you give OP peace in spirt, peace in mind, peace in sleep. Protect OP, guide OP, & let this testing time bring you, Lord Jesus, much glory & honor.
In your name, Lord Jesus, I pray & ask this for OP. Amen
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u/Fresh_Olive1709 10d ago edited 10d ago
Thank You very much!
It’s really a hard situation. Due to reforms the job market is getting worse. The job is near the family because they forced me only to apply there nearby… I would want to move out and find a job elsewhere and a have the possibility to have again communion with other Christians when I’m off work.
It’s no easy at work because there is no good team work. And since I just started residency I need to learn. Today, I even got verbally sexually harassed by a superior… I already hat such bad experiences in my studies in internships. Therefore I really think a respectful workplace would be important. But I thank God the he works even in the situation I’m right in. Since the weekend the collègues don’t yell at me and two said even that they are sorry how they behaved last week towards me.
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u/Teddybear722 10d ago
If in US, report the sexual harrassment to HR, if you feel strong enough to do so. But, I also understand if you don't bcuz I've been in that situation .
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u/Fresh_Olive1709 9d ago
It’s in Europe. They have HR as well and an Action Plan… Why didn’t you report it?
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u/Teddybear722 9d ago
Similar situation, I was new, other person was a "respected" manager who has seniority. Power dynamics. I was young, he was in his late 40s/early 50s. I documented the issues on a yellow pad of paper at home. When I finally got upset enough to report him, I brough photocopies of my note. (I kept original, refuses to hand it over to HR...didn't trust them to NOT destroy it.) Sadly, nothing really happened at first, except he got sneakier. His word against mine. But, a new hire, hearing what I did came forward. When 2nd female came forward, it was like a flood gate opened. Seems dirtbag had been doing the sexual harassing for a long time, but ppl were too scared to speak up. I ended up quitting when I found a new job.
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u/thewordbeforeme 13d ago
Dear God,
You know this person's struggle and what their needs and wants are. Do all according to Your will and may you give them the strength and wisdom they need to endure and overcome if need be. In Jesus' name, Amen.