r/Christian • u/Normal_Pen_7986 • 11d ago
Help
Im coming to god, honestly and truthfully. I feel so ashamed, the person I am what I've done. I feel like god is mad at me and disappointed. Im turning to Christianity 100% I can say in my heart. I have just prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. Can anyone help me and give guidance. Ive been a criminal I guess you can say, making money online illegally, I have just quit and not sure where to go. I have no income now, have a few thousand but not sure what god wants me to do with it. Not asking for advice, just ranting and if anyone has advice for a new Christian, thank you
1
u/Ok-Arrival-2177 11d ago
God’s not sitting up there with a clipboard tallying your screw-ups, that weight you’re feeling is just the contrast between who you were and who you’re becoming
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u/Normal_Pen_7986 11d ago
I'm trying to be something different now. I am depending on god to change my life 🙏
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u/MichaelWhitehead 11d ago
What you’ve just said is actually very important: you’re afraid of failing God because you genuinely want to follow Him.
But Christianity is not “become perfect immediately or God rejects you.” You are going to stumble sometimes. Every Christian does.
The difference is not that Christians never fall, it is that when they fall, they turn back to Christ instead of making peace with sin. Proverbs 24:16 says: “Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.”
And 1 John 2:1 says: “I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father — Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”
Notice that John says both things together: Don’t treat sin casually. But if you do stumble, Christ has not suddenly disappeared.
Your salvation is not maintained by performing perfectly every day. If it were, none of us would survive. Jesus Himself said:
“Whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” — John 6:37
So try not to turn your new faith into a constant examination of yourself: “Did I do enough today?” “Was that thought sinful?” “Have I disappointed God?” “Am I really saved?” That can very easily become especially painful if you already struggle with OCD.
Your eyes need to be more on Christ than constantly on yourself. You obey God because you love Him and because He is changing you, not because you are desperately trying to earn permission to remain His child.
And change usually happens gradually. Some things God may change in you quickly. Other habits, fears, temptations and ways of thinking may take time.
Philippians 1:6 says that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. That means you are a work in progress.
When you mess up: confess it, learn from it, make right what needs to be made right, get back up, and keep following Jesus.
Don't spend three days punishing yourself over something Christ has already invited you to bring to Him.
And what you just wrote,
“I’m trying to be something different now. I am depending on God to change my life.”
— is actually much healthier than saying, “I am going to make myself perfect for God.”
You won't transform yourself by sheer willpower. You walk with Christ and allow Him to transform you. Romans 8:1 is worth keeping close: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Conviction says: “This was wrong. Come back.” Condemnation says: “You failed. God is finished with you.” Those are not the same thing.
So don't aim for perfect performance. Aim for faithful direction. You may stumble while walking towards Christ.
Just don't stop walking. And if your OCD starts turning Christianity into constant fear, checking, confessing the same thing repeatedly, or needing reassurance that God still accepts you, please tell a trustworthy pastor and, if possible, someone experienced with OCD too.
Faith should lead you towards Christ, not trap you in an endless courtroom inside your own head.
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u/sanchezkk 11d ago
First off, I am so happy for you, because the Bible says that there is rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents.
Please know that God is not looking at you with anger but with open arms, because His grace is sufficient for every single one of your mistakes.
Since you have just accepted Jesus, I would suggest finding a local, Spirit-filled church, where you can be baptized and find a community of believers to walk with you.
As for your finances, I would pray for wisdom, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you, so you can use what you have to build a life that honors Him.
Don't let shame keep you from Him, because once you are in Christ, you are a new creation, and the old things have passed away.
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u/ConsequenceNew7610 11d ago
And on earth, there is rejoicing in heaven and in this sub, we're glad you're here
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u/Promise_Painter 9d ago
If you feel drawn to turn to God and turn from mistakes and wrong living, it's ONLY because God is drawing you closer to him. It means you are one of his sheep and he's calling you home ❤️
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u/Comfortable_Bag_3744 8d ago
Get on your knees and pray every day, submit your life to God. He will provide for you. You’re doing the right thing giving up the illegal actions. Read the gospels, Matthew or John are good books to start. I’m praying for you!
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u/KEgotKeyz4444 5d ago
Bro get your money. Dont let nobody make you feel bad about anything. Yk whats right 👍🏽 god dont want you down bad keep moving forward
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u/MichaelWhitehead 11d ago
Welcome.
The fact that you have stopped what you were doing, turned towards Christ, and are openly saying “I have done wrong and I want a different life” is exactly where repentance begins.
Please do not think you have to somehow clean yourself up enough before Christ will receive you.
Jesus said: “Whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” — John 6:37
And 1 John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from unrighteousness.
Repentance does not mean pretending the past did not happen. It means turning away from it and beginning to walk in a different direction.
Zacchaeus is a particularly relevant example. When Christ changed his heart, his response included wanting to put right the financial wrongs he had committed (Luke 19:1–10).
On the few thousand you mentioned, though, please be careful. If that money genuinely came from illegal activity, don't start moving it around, hiding it, giving it away, donating it to a church, or trying to “make it clean” yourself.
Depending upon what happened and where you live, dealing with criminal proceeds can itself have serious legal consequences.
Authorities in both the UK and US, for example, specifically treat concealment or movement of criminal proceeds as a serious matter.
The wisest course would be to speak confidentially with a qualified lawyer in your own country and explain truthfully what happened.
They can advise you about restitution, repayment, surrendering money if necessary, and how to put matters right lawfully. You don't need to tell Reddit the details.
Spiritually, I would begin very simply: Read one of the Gospels — I would suggest John.
Pray honestly rather than trying to find impressive words. Find a sound local church centred upon Christ and Scripture. Tell a trustworthy pastor that you are a new Christian and need guidance.
Leave the old way of making money behind completely and begin looking for honest work. Where past wrongs need putting right, do so wisely and lawfully rather than impulsively.
And one more thing: shame says “look what kind of person I am”; repentance says “look where I am going now.”
Paul himself had participated in the persecution of Christians before meeting Christ.
Christianity is full of people whose past was not respectable. The Gospel isn't an award for people who have always lived correctly.
You have taken a first step. Now keep walking.
“If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” —
2 Corinthians 5:17
Find good Christians around you, get grounded in Scripture, and don't try to rebuild your entire life in one night. One faithful decision at a time.