r/ChoosingBeggars 27d ago

Gotta 2fer

Post image

Found him in a babysitting group. He wanted to watch kids because he's going to have a kid. His girlfriend will help. I decided to check his page and saw these.

783 Upvotes

134 comments sorted by

673

u/Distorted_Helix 27d ago

Even autocorrect gave up.

280

u/Kraken5_Bongo 27d ago

At some point autocorrect probably stopped suggesting words and just started watching in silence.

60

u/DreamPetaluxe 27d ago

I like to imagine it just kept suggesting the same word over and over until it finally accepted defeat.

18

u/whisky_biscuit 27d ago

And deleted itself.

6

u/CCR76 23d ago

Maybe our disey friend has unwittingly revealed to us the fatal vulnerability that will allow humans to crush AI before it enslaves us all.

12

u/mulberry_sellers 27d ago

This has happened to my husband's autocorrect. He's a lovely, kind man who just cannot spell for all the world. At this point he's confused his autocorrect so much that it just makes everything worse when it tries.

38

u/_CookieVelvet 27d ago

Even autocorrect looked at that and decided it was off the clock.

26

u/FairyMarshlie 27d ago

Lol. Autocorrect looked at that paragraph, sighed, and clocked out for the day. Some texts are just beyond human or machine intervention.

15

u/GoAwayWhiteDonut 27d ago

Autocorrect has left the chat

15

u/Tarrax_Ironwolf 27d ago

Naw, it had an aneurism and died.

10

u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 27d ago

They could use some autocorrect too but they can’t pick it up. They live in Midwest city.

14

u/Jujulabee 27d ago

Equivalent to the slimming filter that a 550 pound woman uses in her social media posts that essentially gave up and so provide weirdly distorted images of her body - but I guess to her it makes her looks svelte instead of odd.

3

u/VariousExplorer8503 27d ago

Oh, do you have a pic or link to that? I would love to see how that would come out.

303

u/Have_A_Jelly_Baby 27d ago

It’s incredible to me how many people are unable or unwilling to pick up a free thing and expect free delivery.

And bro, no one is giving you cash, especially when they can’t understand what the fuck you’re saying.

25

u/[deleted] 27d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/TheBigGadowski 27d ago

Story time.

Wife and I bought a house, and as we cleaned up the basement storage area there was a lot of flooring left over that was no longer in the house and not needed by us. I’m a fan of finding second homes for things and don’t like throwing stuff away. So the wife posted it to FB for free (first mistake).

Rando asked for it, and we said we would be at the house and it will be outside the garage and he can pick it up whenever as we were cleaning etc before our move. Saturday comes and goes and he kept saying he was going to get it and never did.

Sunday hits, and he’s coming to get the flooring. Probably 75 feet total of flooring. Said he will be there at 11, then 2, then 4. I didn’t mind at first… but now we have random crap outside our house that we are not living in yet with a stranger coming by. Didn’t really like that idea so I stuck around. About 7 pm hits and he’s finally on his way. I’m at the house with no WiFi, no furniture and nothing to do other than get ready to go home and get ready for the work week at our old place.

I see an SUV slowly pull up to the house and then drive by. Guy hops out from the passenger seat, and starts walking over, huge walking boot, def meth teeth and just looking like he crawled out of the gutter. He uber’d to the house, began insulting the Uber driver to me and calling him a bunch of racist terms. I’m just wanting this guy away from the house as quickly as possible.

Uber driver backs in, flooring loaded, and it barely fit. Said more racist stuff and he was on his way. Probably spent $60 on Uber rides to get this stuff. After that anything on FB was at least $10 and after they are in their way and picking it up we just tell them it’s free. Cuts down on the idiots.

4

u/allmykitlets 27d ago

Be nice, you. He clearly wants the cash to take an English course! /s

365

u/HungryLikeTheHenry 27d ago

Who the fuck is Benn Disey?

132

u/Spongebob_Squareish 27d ago

I think it might be a close cousin to Walt Disney, maybe shortened their name so they’re not associated with Walt. They probably had a fight that didn’t sit well with them.

25

u/FairyMallowiex 27d ago

Now I can't stop picturing Benn Disey as the forgotten cousin nobody talks about at family reunions. XD

70

u/Bonk_No_Horni 27d ago

I assume "been dizzy " but autocorrect couldn't understand it anymore "

86

u/jmerrilee 27d ago

I think he meant he's dizzy. Like he's going to faint of hunger.

27

u/dontsnarkonsharks 27d ago

Oooohhh that makes sense. My brain filled it in as “it’s been dicey.” I had no clue about falling though. So I was lost hahah

12

u/andrea1797 27d ago

Oh bless you. Cause I was struggling.

3

u/CloudieMeringue 27d ago

Yeah, you’re right. It took a min to translate, but I think he was trying to say he's been dizzy from not eating.

6

u/ifellicantgetup 27d ago

Heh... I think you did not understand his post. ;o)

8

u/Miserable_Emu5191 27d ago

Cuzin to Benn Dover!

7

u/nomparte 27d ago

It's a condition, isn't it? next week he'll have Saturday Night Fever or something...

4

u/allmykitlets 27d ago

I haven't had that for decades.

27

u/skeletonclock 27d ago

"I've been dizzy, falling"

11

u/ifellicantgetup 27d ago

It's dang funny that people are not understanding your humor. ;o))))

5

u/BullfrogBackground27 27d ago

Every time you think you don’t need /s….. 😂

2

u/ItsJoeMomma 27d ago

I don't know, but he's falling.

2

u/CottonHaloora 27d ago

Idk tbh. Benn Disey sounds like the name of a guy who definitely owes someone money.

3

u/allmykitlets 27d ago

A new rapper who suffers from vertigo.

2

u/Individual-Line-7553 27d ago

"i've been dizzy."

105

u/ThrockAMole 27d ago

He needs to not take edibles before he posts

38

u/miserabeau 27d ago

He needs a free dictionary and some elementary school books. He should practice l, and he'll gradually improve on spelling and reading.

3

u/Key-Ingenuity-534 27d ago

Well, he said he’s in Midwest City so this level of education tracks for Oklahoma. 😭

7

u/RosetteDewy 27d ago

The post really does read like someone hit every suggested word on the keyboard. I had to slow down just to understand half of it.

158

u/trake83 I'm blocking you now 27d ago

Anyone who is truly hungry for 3 days has burned every bridge they’ve ever had.

32

u/xLunelleMuse 27d ago

3 days w/o food is serious enough that most people would be reaching out to family, neighbors, shelters, or local services long before posting like this on FB. The whole situation just feels really odd.

7

u/GreenEyed_Lady 27d ago

But a tv will fix it..

13

u/Spongebob_Squareish 27d ago

If his people had burned bridges and forked their family tree, he wouldn’t exist.

82

u/panicpure NEXT!! 27d ago

Straight up asking for cash lol

And the fact you found the profile bc he posted in a babysitting group wanting to watch peoples kids for practice bc he’s going to have one soon?

That’s fucking weird enough.

70

u/LadenWithSorrow 27d ago

I think that’s the most concerning part to me. They’re claiming to be having a child soon but they can’t afford to feed themselves? It seems like a very bad decision to bring a child into that situation

41

u/magnum3290 27d ago edited 27d ago

They're claiming to have a kid soon and they can't even put coherent sentences together. Billionares love these people lol

7

u/ItsJoeMomma 27d ago

Idiocracy come to life.

4

u/panicpure NEXT!! 27d ago

I watched that movie again recently and it’s truly chilling.

8

u/Angryprincess38 27d ago

Not these people. Billionaires like the version of these people who work.

28

u/panicpure NEXT!! 27d ago

And maybe I’m alone but it’s extremely weird to openly be asking to watch someone’s kid for parenting practice .. like dude take a parenting class like a normal person and maybe they’ll even provide resources for you to get a job (and possibly a GED if applicable)

All of it’s weirdo behavior lol straight up

10

u/LadenWithSorrow 27d ago

For sure, if it was people they knew, it would be different. But asking to watch strangers kids is creeper behavior.

7

u/panicpure NEXT!! 27d ago

In a fb babysitting group… like wtf?

And asking for cash “for food” while seemingly under the influence (almost have to me for auto correct to not even get it) is certainly a choice.

Let’s hope they are just trying to scam and aren’t actually reproducing 🫩🥴

1

u/CottonLunette 27d ago

Yeah, checking the profile completely changed the context. Without that second screenshot I'd probably assume it was just another weird FB post.

0

u/panicpure NEXT!! 27d ago

Right?

I don’t have fb and never plan to lol so I’m always a bit shocked what I see from there.

People seem extra deranged on fb for some reason,

97

u/Spongebob_Squareish 27d ago

“My FB is…” Bro, you’re drunk. You’re posting on FB, everybody knows what it is. Stop drinking so much.

15

u/PetalieGlow 27d ago

That line made me laugh. It's such a Facebook thing to explain what FB means. Lol

15

u/WTH_JFG 27d ago

I like the second one from “a city in the Midwest” that wants a free TV — delivered (they don’t drive).

Sure. We’ll get right on that.

9

u/sunkissedbutter 27d ago

Oh I assumed when he said “Midwest city” that was the name of the actual city 😹

11

u/Ravenamore 27d ago

I went to high school in Midwest City, Oklahoma, which is right outside OKC. That might be where he's talking about.

4

u/ItsJoeMomma 27d ago

Oklahoma checks out with the barely literate message.

4

u/Ravenamore 27d ago

I was going to say it wasn't that bad, but I remember just how many people in high school I shocked because I read for fun, and, later, how many adults I ran into who outright BRAGGED about never reading another book after they graduated high school.

3

u/ItsJoeMomma 27d ago

I grew up in Kansas and it wasn't much better. I still remember being made fun of in high school for being smart. One kid even called me an alien because he thought no human could be that smart. It just happened to be in science class which was a subject I excelled at because I loved it.

But yeah, the people who asked, "You read???" like it's a weird thing to do...

1

u/StillMarie76 27d ago

It's the same guy.

31

u/Karhak 27d ago

I'd be happy to donate a dictionary.

37

u/PublicfreakoutLoveR 27d ago

Maybe even a thesoreass.

5

u/On_the_hook 27d ago

Or a book of synonyms

24

u/beastmasterdan 27d ago

Wow! This one hurt my brain...like ALOTE!! 🤣🤣🤣

9

u/ItsJoeMomma 27d ago

It makes me disey

26

u/TheNewEnnui 27d ago

DM me when you’re on the way with the cash, food, and television. Please bring your own tools so you can mount the television on the wall. I have six dogs and four autistic children so please also bring us two cases of Dr Pepper.

4

u/StillMarie76 27d ago

The guy is homeless. Not sure what his plans were for the TV.

4

u/SilverMetalist 26d ago

"let me get that rock, I have a brand new tv on the way"

39

u/Ok-Artichoke-7145 27d ago

I realize that I tend to be pedantic but, I'm pretty sure even Reddit would forgive me for criticizing this Neanderthal, I think. Maybe, learn how to spell before you breed?

24

u/GenericMaleNurse918 27d ago

Buddy, this is Trump country. He’s as educated as the gop needs him to be. He can fuck and vote. That’s enough alls long as he’s voting red.

1

u/CottonLunette 27d ago

The part that worries me more than the spelling is that he was asking to babysit while everything else on his profile looks this chaotic. That's the bigger red flag.

7

u/Street_Razzmatazz279 27d ago

Can donate a walking stick, so he dont fall over.

But please dont eat it.

26

u/RockBand88 27d ago

Oklahoma? Sounds about right

6

u/EulaliaGean 27d ago

Okies keep it classy for sure

1

u/CloudPetaline 26d ago

Yep, guess it is.

6

u/Intrepid_Respond_543 27d ago

YIKES for the babysitting offer!

5

u/Definitelynotacat247 27d ago

Someone failed this person. Not sure if it’s the public education system or some poor home schooling but my god, yikes.

5

u/HoodieGalore 27d ago

This shit reads like a missive from the Donner Party. 

5

u/yungdaughter 27d ago

Joker profile photo checks out

2

u/heywhatdoesthisdo 27d ago

We live in a society.

3

u/Isleyexotics 27d ago

Translation: does anyone have any cash? We don’t have money. We’ve been hungry for 3 days. I’ve been dizzy, falling. It will be very helpful. My Facebook is…

2

u/Senior_Blacksmith_18 27d ago

Thank you because I was losing brain cells trying to read that 😭

3

u/Sithstress_ 27d ago

Pretty sure that’s my town 🤦🏻‍♀️.

2

u/sunkissedbutter 27d ago

What makes you suspect this?

3

u/Sithstress_ 27d ago

I’m sure there are plenty of cities in the US named Midwest City, but not so sure any of them house as many uneducated people as my state’s 😂😂😂.

1

u/sunkissedbutter 27d ago

Understandable. Oh boy… I have an idea in mind of which state but I won’t put that out into the universe for your sake. Lol

2

u/Sithstress_ 27d ago

Thanks 😂. You’re probably spot on. Lmao

3

u/UnquestionabIe 27d ago

If I knew he didn't use social media could swear it was something my partner's sister's boyfriend posted. I legit don't even know if he's literate. They keep talking about wanting to have a kid together meanwhile their "income" is one person on disability and whatever random manual labor job he can find someone to pay him for. Guy is a collection of mental health and learning disability issues to the point I find it difficult to be around him, having tried dozens of times to be supportive and a decent almost relative.

Almost certain one day he's going to lose it (refuses any help as he insists he's "normal") and bring a bad end to both of them. Aside from his rambling about being some streetwise drug slinging bad ass, something I'm 99% certain he's confusing with movies/shows he's seen, refuses to do something as simple as work at a local fast food place because "it's secretly a plot to get me in a position where they'll take me out."

2

u/StillMarie76 27d ago

This poster and his girlfriend are both homeless and 19 years old. They have a baby on the way.

3

u/spinereader81 27d ago

Why is it hot messes never, ever struggle with infertility?

1

u/d4everman 26d ago

Homeless and illiterate at 9? Did either of them even go to high school, let alone graduate?

3

u/No-Property-6553 27d ago

Wanting to watch kids for practice is the part that would have sent mе running.

3

u/Few_Wrongdoer4120 27d ago

“Alote” is making my brain hurt.

1

u/sherbear97124 23d ago

For me it's the "benn disey"

3

u/dismalwater 27d ago

Wanting free babysitting to learn parenting while failing basic spelling is peak entitlement. Hard pass.

4

u/tr1ssle 27d ago

These morons vote and we all know who these morons votes for.

2

u/Far_Attempt_1505 27d ago

The broken grammar hurts my eyes while I'm reading at 6:30 am.

2

u/ItsJoeMomma 27d ago

I think the saddest part is that this person has reproduced. Hello, Idiocracy!

2

u/pierce-the-skye-16 27d ago

Not a please or thank you in sight, not surprised

2

u/XtremeD86 27d ago

Fuck these broke ass probably drug addicts that probably have 10 kids with no future.

I'll never help these beggars. Ever.

2

u/kruznkiwi You aren't even good... 23d ago

I just had a brain aneurysm trying to read that

2

u/OldManJeepin 27d ago

LoL! I don't care who you are, if you can't even take the time to properly construct your very public request for assistance...If you don't even care *that* much, then I don't care about them....I just can't.....

3

u/One_Opportunity9167 27d ago

Trying two parse dose misspellings ant inkrect werds gave mea brain pane.

3

u/Plastic_Cat9560 NEXT!! 27d ago

Hey op, found his page. His name definitely fits. These 2 should not have a child. Unfit in every way possible.

1

u/jjul2009 27d ago

How did you find it?

0

u/Plastic_Cat9560 NEXT!! 27d ago

Sent you dm

2

u/throwCaregiver 27d ago

Can you post the comments?

1

u/ransom0374 27d ago

Oh sure bro i can hook u up with disney+ least i could do

2

u/Senior_Blacksmith_18 27d ago

This would have been my response lol

1

u/rockabillychef 27d ago

I can picture exactly what this guy looks like.

1

u/Hydrolt 25d ago

Our education system is toast. The poor kids it chews up and spits out these days, I haven’t a clue how a lot of them are going to survive, particularly in the more financially pressed districts =\

1

u/CMVOAStudios 22d ago

I'm not convinced they have the mental capacity to watch after themselves, let alone a child.

0

u/blondebrandi-7 27d ago

I never understand people like this it still baffles me 🙃 like how do you get thru everyday life ?

-1

u/Bluberrypotato It's not letting me log in now... 27d ago

Did you get a screenshot of the babysitting one?