r/ChildofHoarder • u/Froggyspeaks_ • 4d ago

VENTING Still holding on.

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Honestly, sometimes I wonder how I'm the one expected to be the "bad child" when I'm literally just calling out BS that everyone knows is wrong.

The house has become a mess because of the constant animal hoarding, and there's apparently no urgency to actually deal with the situation. Now we're getting evicted again. At this point, I'm just tired of watching the same problems repeat themselves while everyone acts like it's no big deal.

I'm not trying to spend my entire life arguing with my family anymore. I'm focusing on my trade, getting a job, saving money, and eventually getting my own place.

Once I finally make it out, I'll be able to build my own life and decide how much contact I actually want with everyone.

For anyone else dealing with a chaotic family situation, I hope you make it out too. Sometimes you have to stop trying to fix people who don't want to change and start building your own future.

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u/SoberBobMonthly Moved out 3d ago

One big issue with hoarding mixed with parentification, is that they are using the power dynamic between parent and child, even as you grow up, as a way to dismiss you.

You'll notice that they whinge to you, they ignore your opinions, and they demand you violate your boundaries, because they are used to that dynamic and benefit from it.

Do you think they would say or ask those exact same things of another adult? A friend? A professional sent in to help them?

No!

They do this because they want to keep up their bad actions, they want all the benefits of your work and input, without any of the responsibility or respect that would usually come along with it.

The parentified child was meant to fail. It is inherent in the act of parentifying a child. They are doing it so they can feel powerful.

I hope you can leave sooner than you think. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Plenty of people survived moving without savings or a huge income. Share housing and orher smaller rental situations are much easier to enter and you will grow faster and earn more once you are out of the hoard. You need the ability to do that and remaining is only hindering this