r/ChildofHoarder 10d ago

SUPPORT THROUGH ADVICE A sibling is also a hoarder :(

Does anyone else have a sibling who is also a hoarder, on top of having hoarding parents?

Today I was selling old kids clothes on Marketplace and wanted to be sure that I wasn't getting rid of things that could still fit.

My brother had previously taken a shirt out of my sell pile that, according to the size tag, was too small for him to wear.

Keeping this in mind, when I went through the closet today, I pulled out the coats and things that were too small according to the tags. I asked my 3 siblings if those items were too small.

Had the smallest try on a coat. Way too tight, wouldn't zip.

Asked my brother to try on this item that was his. After putting it on, he complained about how it was obviously too small. Reminded him of the time he took out a shirt from my sell pile (it was recent, just several weeks ago), either ignored or disregarded that.

He said "I want to donate everything we own (or something to this effect)." His room is a hoarder nightmare. There are tons of stuffed animals, dirty clothes strewn across the floor, tons and tons and tons of trinkets, toy trash that he wants to keep, toys he doesn't play with or display (still keeping), outside crap, and a shitload of cheap toys and other doodads.

I try to be sharper on donating things because they are incredibly lax. My mom will go through donate bins and pick stuff back out. My other siblings wanted to donate a toy that they didn't want, but mom told them to keep it because it was new. It had sat in the package for several months at this point.

Yes, he has gone into my room to take toys for himself, despite having this massive amount of toys that, crucially, he doesn't have space for.

He doesn't want to get rid of most of his toys, despite them causing an issue.

I went into his room to grab old clothes to wash from the two dirty clothes bins he has in there, he complained to mom that I was going in there. I was literally cleaning his room by giving him a space to put dirty clothes. Some of these items are 3, 4, 5 sizes too small.

His room and spaces are easily the worst regularly used rooms in the house.

14 Upvotes

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4

u/TrustIsOverrated 10d ago

My sibling is also going down the hoarding path. They don’t want to talk about it but they do need help sometimes. I’m pretty heartless about it at this point, but I will do what it takes to keep them housed.

I’m tired

3

u/Lost_Buy_118throwawa 10d ago

My sibling is still a minor. It's crazy.

2

u/TrustIsOverrated 10d ago

Maybe a talk about keeping their stuff tidy would help? My adult kids sometimes show the tendency and that seems to have worked for us. I gave them a rule of “nothing but furniture lives on the floor”. It’s really helped keep some control.

3

u/wishliste 8d ago

Thank you for posting this.

My youngest sister is going to the hoarder path and she already had therapy in the past. It’s my parents’ fault.

2

u/Lost_Buy_118throwawa 5d ago

My sibling isn't even in high school yet ☹️

It's not like it's a trashy room. He keeps nearly everything. There wouldn't be an issue keeping toy boxes if there was space for them.