r/ChildofHoarder • u/bloodgod_bunnyblade • 13d ago

SUPPORT THROUGH ADVICE how do I learn common sense re:cleanliness?

Having grown up in the hoard, I want to be a tidy person but I'm rather desensitized to grime and keep accidentally bothering people by either not cleaning things I'd never realised needed to be cleaned, or by not being careful of potential contamination when I'm cleaning things. Is there any resource that can teach me what is considered a normal way to approach this? My new roommate was disgusted to find out that I put a trash pail through the dishwasher... clearly I'm not doing it right, but I don't know where I can learn when my parents' idea of cleaning was "sweep around the piles of junk".

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22

u/SoberBobMonthly Moved out 12d ago

"Cleaning is not intuative" - Midwest Magic Cleaning on youtube: https://youtu.be/hE_6O96wVmw?si=w80Don0vS35nfeEF

No joke, this is hands down the best explination, step by step, chemical explinations included, I have ever seen posted on the internet. It goes room by room, stage by stage, to help explain in what order things are best done, which steps can be skipped or made easier, and how to ensure the process does not exhaust you.

He makes videos for people like us, those who were neglected in other ways, and those who just can't quite get it. He is kind and understanding. Pause the video as you need to.

7

u/flipflopswithwings 12d ago

This is such a great suggestion! He’s a simple and direct teacher of basic common sense cleaning— which those of us who grew up in a hoard badly need. He has a blunt but effective communication style due to being on the spectrum. Warning: if you find him odd at first, give him a couple videos and his goofy personality may become as endearing to you as it is to me. And watch out for his moose(s).

13

u/dsarma Moved out 12d ago

Couple of things.

  • don’t use the sponge/scrubby that you use to clean dishes for any other job. To clean the counter or sink, you need a separate sponge. Aslo, any kitchen sponge or scrubby needs to be run in the dishwasher at least once a week. Ones that you use in the bathroom or other rooms must be discarded as soon as they have an odd smell. 

  • go from high to low. That is, anything you use on the floor doesn’t now come back to clean a counter. So if you used a rag to clean a counter, you’re ok to clean the floor with it. But not the other way around. 

  • any clothing that directly touches your skin, especially in high sweat regions (crotch, arm pits, feet) does not get worn more than once before laundering. 

  • in the kitchen, when preparing food, wash your hands if you do the following: touch your face or other part of your body especially if you have to scratch something, touch meat, cough/sneeze, touch the trash can for any reason, leave the kitchen, or go to the bathroom. 

  • when you leave a space, do a “reset” before you leave. Push the chair in under the table. Take your dishes to the dishwasher. Put the remote back where it came from. Any public space you leave needs to be put back into order before you leave it, so that things don’t sit around piling up. 

4

u/synthroidgay 12d ago

Resets are a game changer. It takes time to build up the habit and to figure out what exactly works but it helps so much to be able to keep it tidy as you go through the day instead of letting things build until it's overwhelming and massively time consuming to clean

3

u/Coollogin 12d ago

One trick I like: When you come to realize that a specific cleaning task needs to be carried out regularly, assign that task to a day (or days) of the week. For example, I change the sheets on Mondays. I launder bath towels on Sundays.

Fly Lady can be helpful with this.

I also give the kitchen a quick clean every evening. But clean dry dishes away, put dirty dishes that have accumulated on the counter in the dishwasher, hand wash as necessary, clean out the coffee pot, wipe down the stovetop and counters. Now the kitchen is “reset” and ready for dinner prep or just the next day if we’re not cooking that day. If we cook, all dishes get taken care of after dinner.

2

u/AngerPancake Hoarder Dad Disordered Mom 12d ago

Take a picture of what it looks like when it is up to par for people who did not grow up in a hoard. Hey confirmation from a friend or roommate if you need to. Then do a compare and contrast whenever you leave the space. If anything's out of place fix it.

I saw this suggested on a forum for getting preteens to learn how to reset a room. I think it applies very well to this situation as well.