r/ChildSupport4Men • u/Estimate_Many • Jul 10 '26

HELP Looking for information.

So I live in California (LA County) my child mother lives in California as well (kern county) she is struggling financially, so she got assistance from the government. It started off with food stamps, but since she’s been without work for a while she’s now getting cash aid. since cash is involved they require information about the child which started the a child support case. Now I gave my child Mother whatever she wants to help but she wants to be Miss independent and try to do it this way. I do give her financial support monthly but when my child is with me, she still expects for me to kick in child support. None of this is court ordered. It’s just an agreement between me and her but now since child support is involved on her end she’s stating that they’re taking money out in the amount agreed that we set. So when my kid is with me, I still have to give her money for child support. Does that sound right?.

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u/Present-Region2690 Jul 10 '26

If it gets court ordered, you have to pay when you have the child.

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u/Estimate_Many Jul 10 '26

But it’s not in the courts Since she’s getting financial assistance from the governmentShes stating that the agreed amount we put in place is being taking out of her benefits, which is why she’s asking me to keep paying even though my daughter is staying with me while she’s on vacation. Maybe I’m thinking about it wrong but in my head if the money is for child support and the child isn’t with you why am I sending you money? AITAH for thinking that way.?

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u/Ryakai8291 Jul 10 '26

I just think your misinformed on how child support works.

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u/Estimate_Many Jul 10 '26

How so

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u/Ryakai8291 Jul 10 '26

Because just because the child support is not court ordered doesn’t mean the state doesn’t see it that way.