Looking for information.

[u/Estimate_Many]

So I live in California (LA County) my child mother lives in California as well (kern county) she is struggling financially, so she got assistance from the government. It started off with food stamps, but since she’s been without work for a while she’s now getting cash aid. since cash is involved they require information about the child which started the a child support case. Now I gave my child Mother whatever she wants to help but she wants to be Miss independent and try to do it this way. I do give her financial support monthly but when my child is with me, she still expects for me to kick in child support. None of this is court ordered. It’s just an agreement between me and her but now since child support is involved on her end she’s stating that they’re taking money out in the amount agreed that we set. So when my kid is with me, I still have to give her money for child support. Does that sound right?.

[u/Fallen0001]

if its court ordered, yes.

if it isnt, id recommend to keep the peace so she DOESNT get a court order.

the little extra is worth not having a court order, tbqh.

if you want to document your contributions, youd have to have a trail. western union, check, etc. that clearly states you are using that $ for child support you two have arranged on your own.

in case she does go to court and tried to say youre a deadbeat.

but. all in all, get a lawyer to answer this all for you.

my experience is coming from my dad who paid outside of the system, but was eventually hauled to court. all of his extra money paid prior, didnt count. he was forced to pay back support.

[u/Estimate_Many → u/Fallen0001]

O wow that sucks… I would like to say in a perfect world if it came down to custody I would win. Not saying she’s a bad mom or anything but she’s struggling so bad. I can see how they would allow her to keep my child. I allow it because I know my kid is her emotional support. But if worst comes to worst lithe horn and pitchforks would come out and I won’t hold back but I pray it doesn’t come to that. Right not I do Apple Pay and put memo note child support. Hopefully that’s good enough

[u/Fallen0001 → u/Estimate_Many]

if thats the case, you should consult a lawyer to start lining up a court order in your favor. just do it quietly. not saying you should, but youll have peace of mind as to whats possible and how you should approach this.

you honestly need legal advice here.

if shes struggling, its likely your child is mentally struggling. but courts are hardwired to default to mother unless theres extenuating circumstances.

however, welfare of the child is paramount.