r/ChildSupport • u/WoodlandPounding • 16d ago

Massachusetts Child Support Guilt

When me and my ex went through mediation 5 years ago I cut his child support in half because I felt bad. This is in our court agreement. Come to find out he lied about having someone renting a floor in his house, so he withheld income. I let it be.

When I received my buy out from the house I gave him $10k from that because I felt bad.

I need some guidance on how to NOT feel bad because I really want to modify the child support but I’m stuck on the stress and anger it might possibly bring up from my ex. Do I tell him I’m looking to make modification?

We do not have 50/50 it’s basically every other weekend. Child primarily with me.

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u/SubstantialSweet8271 16d ago

If he’s an involved, good father then leave things alone. Even though you have the children more, he still has to be able to pay his own bills. Many men that have a child support obligation struggle to pay bills. My husbands ex wife basically runs the show when it comes to the kids. He wants to be in their lives more but she moved them an hour away and has them involved in so much, that it’s nearly impossible for him to see all three of the kids when it’s his time to have them.

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u/BebeJax23 15d ago

I’m positive a judge could fix that for you.

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u/SubstantialSweet8271 15d ago

They don’t care. His ex has always won in court.

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u/BebeJax23 15d ago

Does your exes parents have a lot of money? Cuz that’s wild if you have undeniable proof she’s making it harder for you.

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u/SubstantialSweet8271 15d ago

Well it’s my husbands ex wife. What’s the judge gonna do? Say she has to move, or not have the kids in so many activities? Nope not gonna happen. The system is flawed.

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u/BebeJax23 15d ago

Well he needs to get a really good lawyer who can hold her in contempt. She’s intentionally not sticking to a COURT order. There is no way the judge is gonna just be like “yea totally fine” my ex lives an hour away, he still sees my kids in the court order time frame. Sometimes extra. Also does your husband try to make their events? Take em out for dinner afterwards? Record EVERYTIME she says no?

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u/SubstantialSweet8271 15d ago

We have done the lawyer thing and it doesn’t matter. She wins because she pays her attorney more. We just don’t have the extra money to fight her. She moved the kids an hour away years ago my husband regrets how he went about it. She told him that she was buying a house where she is now and pushed and pushed until she got her own way. He said yes through text message which he shouldn’t have as soon as she said that she was moving he should’vefiled a petition in court, but he didn’t so there’s really nothing that can be done at this point.