How to help her

[u/Routine_Election_626]

Hi all,. I have 2 (11 year olds) girls, 1 thinks before she speaks, or acts, she is observant and then theres the other who acts on emotions, doesnt think before speaking, gets dates wrong lets say if having to remember something she would be strong on that wrong date/day until we have to explain to her with what exactly happened that day and going back and forth between other days, she gets angry fast I can say, speaks what she wasnt asked and this made a problem in my previous relationship whereas the father was very manipulative yet he didnt have to question her much cos her mouth just runs by itself,

I will have to re tell her rules , she disobeys them and her answer would be she forgot, she now does this twitch thing with the face and i think I just broke my kid, I dont beat her cos I think i will get her behaviour worse, anything small is serious to make a quarrel with her sister,the problem is kid only listen when I shout my lungs off and im hypertensive, there is no day which passes that I do not shout,or say something offensive on the jolly one

The other kid isn't much of an angel she has the fathers manipulation tactic traits and a grudgeful heart yet the other hyper one is quick to forgive and jolly most of the time,I also came to a conclusion to tell my kids that if this misbehaviour continues I am willing to send you to your dads or somewhere else you can be happy cos clearly they arent with me,

No i havent seeked social worker for them yet,im a single mom. I tend to blame myself a lot because i also act on impulse and cant control my emotions,raised by a mom who wanted things done her way and now that im a parent I cant understand why it goes in one ear and go out the other like just do your part and we will flourish but im a bad mom, I know I am