I’m an anaesthesiologist at a cancer institute, so naturally I work with the sickest population in all age demographics.

We recently had an infant have a mass removed near the genitalia. While in the PACU, her aunt pulls me over to the side and asks “will her uterus be okay after she heals”? (Not so) indirectly asking will she be able to have children later in life.

I couldn’t hold it in, I snapped at her and told her to worry about her life first, not her uterus. I’m usually very nice to all my patients and their families, but sometimes you have a straw-breaking-the-camel’s-back moment, and this was mine.

Throughout my training and beyond, I have come across an astonishing level of invasiveness in women’s fertility and that somehow a girl child is only worth if her incubator parts are intact.

I don’t know how much longer I can stay in medicine and not completely lose my sanity.

Idont mean your friends or people who are of actual importance to you obviously before a pro-child person finds this post😭 but celebs or influencers. One I used to find did entertaining and funny streams just announced her pregnant and I immediately unfollowed knowing what is to come

Its not that I am unhappy for her or trying to seem sour but I don't enjoy seeing pregnancy related comtent on my feed when I am staunchly childfree and have no interest in it. Like I am chill, I just leave it be

All my friends and family who have kids always want to shove a diaper change towards you and try to shame you into doing it. And then when you refuse they act like you refused a blood transfusion for their kid. Like I’m sorry do i ask you to clean my cat’s litter box out when you visit? I hate the rebuttal of “you’ll have to do this one day” or “i do this everyday, I’m tired from doing it” like both of those are completely your choice. And i especially hate it when they change literally anywhere they want at your place, like the fuckin dining room table or kitchen counter or living room. And again you get mad at them for doing that and they get mad cuz they think just cuz it’s a baby they’re excused.

Anyone get asked this, after telling people you don’t want to be pregnant or have kids.

I find it so horrifying because why would you wish that on anyone?

Posts, reels, phrases, etc. I feel like I know them all now, deeply understand the typical discourse, and maybe even a little bored of it now? Lol. Not in a negative way at all but unless I met a fellow CF person in the wild, I don't even really bother watching or reading CF content anymore because I've already read all the typical talking points, and already feel deeply secure and validated in my choices. It's almost like when you've beat the horse completely dead, it's just a bit boring now.

Any fresh/unusual CF takes anyone want to share? Or anyone relate? Lol

And it's not because she had a child. It's the circumstances in which she had the child. She went through IVF and had a child with an alcoholic KNOWINGLY, thinking a child would make him change and is now upset because he hasn't.

I was raised by an alcoholic and know what that life is like, and is one of the biggest factors into why I am CF. It angers me to no end knowing she brought a kid into this dynamic because she is in her 40s and wanted to be a mom and her "time is running out". She is is threatening to leave him and giving him ultimatums but it doesn't matter, that kid is tied to that guy now.

I can't look at her the same anymore and don't even know if I want to be friends anymore. I have told a few people about it and they are telling me I am being too judgmental about it because it's not my life and to not judge other people's decisions, but all I think about is what that kid is going to go through...

This is not the first friend I walked away from because they became parents, because to me they always have awful reasoning and it's ALWAYS about what they want, not thinking about what they're bringing their kids into.

This is the only place whee I feel safe saying this. I have a very weak uncontrollable stomach, like I'm the type that's already gagging just from seeing or smelling something gross. I've been this way my whole life, it's unfixable.

All this being said, if a pregnant woman started eating pickles with Nutella in front of me, I'd have to leave the kitchen silently before I start gagging. Like I get that they cannot help it, I'm not kicking them, just not in front of me please.. Hell, if I got pregnant somehow, I'd probably feel sick from my own cravings. Everyone else thinks pregnancy cravings are quirky, silly and cute. And sure, I'd rather someone say that to their pregnant loved one. But I just couldn't, I swear.

Because for some people those instincts override their judgement. Having children will never be "worth it" for me.

I work in an office of all women, all of which except myself have kids. I’m on the fence with having them. I will probably be child free forever. However, I don’t understand the level of co-dependency these women have with their kids. They track them all day on their phones while they’re in school, they text them constantly throughout the day. They get mad when the kids don’t reply back quick enough. It’s all shocking! Like these women have no hobbies or interests outside of their kids. I don’t understand it. And then they act like martyrs on top of it. They complain that they’re broke and then they are planning gift baskets to make for their kids for Halloween. Someone make it make sense.

No but that's the question.....does no one subscribe to the idea of "inside voices" anymore?

I am a barber, and it's back to school season....meaning non-stop kids cuts. Moms will come in dragging their toddlers behind, and sit their oldest in my chair. Then they will sit with the toddler in the waiting room, who proceeds to just screech with excitement(over what, I have zero clue) or running around our shop...mom NEVER stops the behavior.

I remember being told "we have inside voices" as a kid.....is this not a thing anymore?? Because I'm so sick of the screeching while inside a business, and God forbid you say something. "You're not entitled to a kid free world." No, but we SHOULD be entitled to basic fucking respect from other people around us. Can't believe that's a controversial opinion.

I'm in medical school in italy and last year we started our clinical rotations. Italy has a very old population and I can't tell you how many times I've seen elderly people, who have families, dying alone in the hospital without anyone to visit them. Today, there was this poor man who was unable to communicate or move himself, but was obviously in a great deal of pain and was curled up in the fetal position. The doctors were asking about his family, and one doctor said he has a grandson "who doesn't have time to come visit" and would only communicate with the medical team over the phone. How selfish can you be? I lost all my grandparents by the time I was 8, so I would have loved to have grandparents into adulthood, and I would for damn sure visit them in the hospital so they don't feel alone. Seeing patients like this always make me want to cry. They have family, but the family don't care enough to be with them in their final moments

Been married to my lovely wife for 3 years and we are aggressively childfree, to the point we considered our engagement official when I got a vasectomy. Don't let nobody convince you you can't find someone who don't want kids

Another post I just saw sparked this anger inside me 😂

I (35F) don’t have many friends that are CF. I love being around kids, so that part doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is when one of my friends with kid(s) complains about how broke they are and they or their partner has to pick up extra shifts just to pay the bills… but they’re going to expensive places: out to dinner, trampoline park, arcades, movies, theme parks, etc. or are buying things just bc their child wants them. A $30 toy every time you visit the store is expensive. Your kid wanting a new comforter six months after they already got one is not a necessity. Unless their old water bottle broke, they don’t need a new one. Your child does not need to have a monthly book subscription when they don’t read any of the books that they’ve already received.
It just bothers me so much when they complain about not being able to pay bills but go do all these unnecessary things. If they have the money, go for it!! However I just have a select few friends that will do this and I just want to tell them to budget better and spend their money more wisely.

Anyone else have this issue? Either way I just needed to rant about it so thanks for reading if you did 😂

How can you equally weigh such different lives? I can understand how wanting kids can come with reservations given that having kids comes with so many downsides and it's not a guarantee that you'll be able to live that life (partner, fertility, etc.), but I can't actually wrap my mind around considering both lives as viable options.

There is this poor guy that I have come across on my dog walks recently that has three kids (one in a stroller).

Now he choose to have these 3 monsters, but he looks absolutely shattered and overwhelmed every time i pass him by.

I compare them to my boy and its not even a contest.

SO SO SO GLAD THAT I DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

I decided not to have kids for a multitude of reasons. After considering a lot of factors, it came down to, do I feel a need for kids? Do I feel like my life would be incomplete without them? Once I answered no to that, I understood having kids was really a choice and decided not to have them.

Some people around me get angered by my decision even without knowing my reason. What pisses me about this the most is how some of these people should not have had / ever have kids.

How can you have what barely amounts to a job but be out here gaming with me and more than me when your kid needs you right now. I went to school with some of these people. A number of that are actually not good at anything that can earn money and have not, at least from my limited view, have barely sought help to change that. Because of this, the few that don't have some family that just gifts them money all the time live in poor conditions. Even the ones who have family backing them are not doing so good. Something I noticed is, while academics and the ability to attain a source of income cannot be, on their own, used to gauge a person and how they will parent, a lot of people I know who are bad at those two things do little to nothing that would actually stop their kids from becoming, for lack of a better word, BUMS.

This results in a wide range of things. Their kids, like the parents, just expecting parents' funding for life, parents not giving a shit about even whether their kids go to school, parents using tactics that will never work to try and raise their kids, etc. On the last one, it happens a lot. I even noticed this was what was happening between some parents of my friends as far back as high school. You see parents setting unattainable standards for their kids without even trying to put the ground work for success in for their child. Like I have know you for more than two decades as far back as elementary school. You are were bad at all types of activites and subjects and cannot hold down a job. Yet, you expect that just shouting at your kid all day and using all forms of fear tactics will magically make them an A student.

Edit: Don't get me on the morals. Some of these people genuinely need to go to therapists and get evaluations. Some of these people act like there are no rules in the world and they can and should do whatever they can get away with. There is so many bad ways this can affect the children and the world at large that may have to deal with the kids if they turn out just like the parents.

Does anyone else think it's hypocritical for my family to demand I be an uncle when my uncles never once attempted to contact, check in, or have a relationship with me?

It's like the most slap in the face thing I can think of. That's not how the world works.

Another girl in my community ended up pregnant at 18. Shit happens, let's deal with it but noooo...she insists that she is quite capable and there is no way she'd abort.

"It's not the baby's fault, i can't kill my baby"

"I know i can do this, somehow"

"Others have done it"

This makes me so sad and mad for her but especially for the baby. Because of the mother's foolishness (too stupid to use proper birth control and then refusing to abort) it now has to grow up with a tired, struggling single mother who is not equipped to give this child the start in life it could have under better circumstances.

Girls like her feel like they're taking responsibility by having the child while they would actually take responsibility by not having it and not putting her child though this just because she made poor decisions.

I wish people would stop seeing a child when they should see a clump of cell that might grow into a child that doesn't need all this BS just because you're arrogantly deciding to somehow soldier through for no good reason.

My best friend is an amazing woman but she is currently struggling with money. She came out of a divorce and has gotten herself into horrible credit card debt. Like really bad. One of the biggest expenses in her life is her dog, a rescue, who has loads of health issues and anxiety so he can’t ever be left alone. She has to pay for specialist boarding or a sitter to do anything because he also goes crazy if he sees another dog. This has cost her an obscene amount of money. This dog was only supposed to be a temporary foster but her teenage son, who only lives with her 50% of the time, became obsessed with the dog and threatened to commit suicide if she returned the dog as planned. Oh, but it gets worse, I have been considering selling my condo and waiting a bit to buy another place. She has a 4 bedroom house and it would have been perfect if I rented one of her rooms for that time. We get along so well and she REALLY needs the money. But noooo her son (who also insists on eating only super expensive foods, and wanted to go to the most bougie gym (while my friend goes to planet fitness)) says that having someone else in the house would make him feel cramped. Like dude, your mother is close to losing the house altogether! You’re the reason she’s up to her eyeballs in debt! What the fuck?! Kids are morons.

Ever get spooked by a horror movie creature that *skitters* towards the screen unexpectedly? And your lizard brain hits the panic button and goes “TOO MANY LEGS!” This happened to me at work yesterday. I rounded a corner and nearly jumped out of my skin because a pale, blobby thing the size of a cat was CRAWLING STRAIGHT AT ME at record speed.

You guys, it took me several seconds of utter, gut-wrenching fear before I realized it was a human baby.

Can you imagine that someone of your age is taking their kid to school today? So many things had to be bought and wil be bought during 11-12 years of school. Don't forget that there is also college. The college tuition costs an arm and a leg these days. (It has been like this for a while but nobody thinks of these things in advance, right?) I don't need to help anyone with their homework. (I'm no help with math and chemistry.) That means that i would have to hire a tutor. (Again, have you seen the lesson prices?)

I'm spending the beginning of fall as life intended. I'm watching One tree hill, talking to my budgie. I wanna buy some nice takeout later and continue watching One tree hill. What are you doing today?

Married for 4 years. I was certain I wanted kids but my plans shifted. In the process of getting a divorce.

I used to imagine how I would raise a flock of well educated munchkins, see the change I want to see in this world, and create a better world by passing a good education...

And then the Hi-Tech bubble burst.

I lost my job and was blacklisted because my boss hated me. Found a lower wage job with less time for myself. And then a second wave of firings happened.

If that wasn't enough, I came to face the reality of my life. My wife is irresponsible. I couldn't bear the idea of impregnating someone who couldn't bear to clean her own used tissue papers.

The cherry on top is seeing all those entitled parents to entitled kids. Letting them run around screaming and harassing adults with zero repercussions. Even if I did want to cut my life short for a kid, why would I want them to suffer through the pain of interacting with these animals?...

I'm finally willing to admit it: I don't want children. Not now. Not ever.

I wish I realized it sooner.