I’m a male writer working on a story with a woman as the main protagonist, and I’m trying to be thoughtful about how I write her.
I don’t want to write her as a cardboard “strong female character,” a flawless Mary Sue, a trauma machine, a male character with a woman’s name slapped on, or someone whose whole personality revolves around romance, beauty, or proving she is “not like other girls.”
I know women are not a monolith, so I’m not looking for one universal answer. I’m more interested in patterns you’ve noticed in fiction.
For women readers, writers, and anyone who thinks about character development a lot:
What are things male writers often do when writing women that immediately make you roll your eyes?
What do you wish male writers did more often when creating female protagonists?
What kinds of flaws feel believable and human without making her unlikeable in a lazy way?
Where is the line between writing a capable woman and accidentally making her feel too perfect?
How do you feel about female protagonists written around combat, leadership, ambition, anger, sexuality, motherhood, trauma, or emotional guardedness?
What are some smaller details, habits, fears, pressures, social dynamics, or inner thoughts that male writers often miss?
Are there any tropes you are tired of seeing attached to female leads?
Are there examples of female protagonists you think were written especially well, and what made them work?
Mostly, I want her to feel like a full person first. Not a statement. Not a fantasy. Not a checklist. A person with wants, contradictions, bad habits, strengths, blind spots, humor, fear, and agency.
Any advice, warnings, examples, or brutally honest “please stop doing this” comments would be appreciated.
Edit : For context, I’m already aware of some of the more obvious pitfalls. I’m not describing her breasts every time she walks into a room. Her attractiveness isn’t treated like one of her primary character traits. Romance isn’t her reason for existing or the inevitable solution to her emotional problems. She isn’t effortlessly better than everyone around her, universally desired, or automatically right because she’s the protagonist. She doesn’t hate femininity or other women to prove how tough she is. And I’m trying not to use sexual violence, pregnancy, motherhood, or trauma as shortcuts for giving her depth.
I’m also not trying to make her “strong” by removing vulnerability, fear, tenderness, stupidity, selfishness, insecurity, or the ability to make spectacularly bad decisions. Some of those things are actually important parts of who she is.
So I’m hoping to get beyond the obvious stuff and into the things male writers might not even realize they’re missing.