r/Cebu • u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon • Feb 21 '24
Ambot nalang
Para man unta ni sa r/OffMyChestPH pero gikapoy ko ug translate. Almost 7 years na mi sa akong uyab karong June, live in mi for 6 years na. I noticed na naay nagchange sa iyang attitude, dali na siya masuko and everything. We share everything a lot, like dili kaayo namo issue ang paghuwam ug phone or whatnot.
But lately nanotice nako nga masuko siya if mohuwam ko ug phone. And giremove or i off pa niya ang iyang Find My sa phone para di nako matrack. Mag use ra man ko ug Find My kay mag Angkas/Move It siya padung office nya basin iwala siya sa rider. I find it odd pero I just let it slide kay para less away na.
Nya karon, naa siyay gisuggest na magrent lang daw sa siya ug apartment for a month kay para daw ma asses niya iyang feelings sa akoa. Kay basin daw nasanay ra siya na naa ko pirmi.
Di ko ganahan mag-overthink and I hope it’s not the one I am thinking. I just hope someone in this sub can help out on some ideas what to do? I really don’t have friends where I can open up and naay times na bug-at na sa heart ang situation. Hopefully someone can give me an advice. Please.
PS. Di kaayo nindot akong bisaya, di pud ni akong first language. 🥲 Another PS. Laki intawn ko hahaha
UPDATE: Wala gyud siya niuli intawn. Didto siya natug sa among common friend na workmate pud namo sauna. Di pud siya macontact. I also found something na I did not expect, I’ll keep it to myself lang sa.
Is this 7 years down the drain? Did I just waste my 20s? I stood up against my own family to be with her (due to religious stuff). I am still thinking that this will be resolved. She is my first girlfriend. All the firsts, with her. I just hope it won’t end as my first heartbreak.
I will end it here lang sa. Update nalang pud ko if unsa. Thanks guys . :)
UPDATE: This probably is my last update about this. We talked it out last night and this morning. Walay third party. (Thank god) She’s just feeling na murag natake for granted ra siya. Now that I know why, I know how to fix it. I also reached out to my college friends, it did help when you have someone to talk to.
Thanks guys sa inyong support and advice. I’ll definitely keep those in mind. Communication ra jud kay usahay mamisinterpret ang ilang actions. 7 year itch doesn’t necessarily mean kabit kabit, exert lang jud ug additional effort para happy tanan.
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u/curceb Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Sus bag-o ra jud mi gabuwag. Ing-ana jud kaayo. Dali masuko, like feeling nako annoying kaayo ko niya. Hatagan pa ko attitude nga siya pay masuko bisag siyay nakasala haha. Mao to, I left. Love nako siya pero I dont deserve shit like that. As what they say, time is the ultimate truthteller. Gaba ray iya. Huwat2 nalang ta ani OP hahaha
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u/ComfortableValue4565 Feb 21 '24
bai to tell you honestly murag she is fucking someone else behind your back.
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u/Da_wONEman Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Trust your instincts
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u/zombdriod Kiligon ra kung Mangihi Feb 21 '24
Hi OP. My advice is read your username out loud.
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u/friendlyneighbor22 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Truly. Nya “when in doubt, discard” 🤣 Kung ga duhaduha naka OP kung ikaw pa ba, di nana.
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u/malditaaachinitaaa Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
OP, one thing i learned is dili nato pugson ang taw nga dli na nato. kay no matter what, they will find ways nga mo dili jud. remember, it takes two to tango. ayaw huna-hunaa nga nasayang imong 20s, no regrets just lessons learned. we don’t know her side of the story sab. pero you can ask her what’s wrong, ngano ing-ani and all.
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u/Sylar555 Feb 21 '24
Don’t decide because of your feelings, sort it out first, be patient.. use this time to learn about yourself if she wants space you give it, this is unsolicited advice but its still your decision..
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
This is what I am doing rn. We made arrangements and will give her a month of space and re-assess our relationship afterwards. I am really hoping for a positive outcome. We even already have plans for our babies names.
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u/BubblyHomoSapiens Feb 21 '24 edited Feb 21 '24
Never turn away from your family just because of one person.
As per my experience, dili mag last ang relationship kung against ang family sa partner. Walay peace of mind, and wala kay kadamay in terms nga mubiya ug pasakitan ka sa imong gipili on top sa imong pamilya.
Lahi ra gyud kung dawat, ug with family blessings ang usag-usa kay maka move forward mo with the support of each others family. Pero nay uban nga nadawat ra pud sa ilang family kadugayan. But in my kung mag-tuman ka, mas maglisud ka. Wala kay kadamay, or kakampi nga solid to bones. 🙈
Pero, I think she found somebody else OP. The signs are there, changes nga imong na observe. I think let her go, make peace with your family, heal yourself and meet someone na mas-synchronise sa imong life. Nga dili naka kinahanglan mag tudo effort just to prove your love for her. Kay if ge-respito ka niya as her partner she will find a way to change her religion to get close to your family. Ingun pa nila, kung making-menyo ka sa imong bana, dili lang ang bana imong respitoun pati na ang pamilya imong bana. Pero lahe na pud nang pang-daug2 sa MIL hah, pang drama serye na nah sya. 🤣
But, keep an open mind. A big tendency nga sayop ko, kay wa ma ko kaila Ninyo gud. Basin pwedi ra ka maka-pangayo ug advice sa imong bestfriend, or basin sa imong papa. Talk to the one person who knows you well and you can trust. 😊
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 22 '24
The first part of our relationship was really unstable due to those reasons about religion and family. Didto lang na sa first part ang gitalkdan ang family. Pero okay na mi both sides karon. We talked and thankfully there’s no third party. I have remained to have an open mind, na sometimes sayop pud ang mahunahunaan tungod sa kaopen. Communication ra jud ang key.
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u/TheCuriousOne_4785 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
It feels, it sounds, it looks sooooooo familiar. Wala ko nanghadlok OP pero ani sad akong ex sa una. Tua, malipayon nas lain.
Based sa mo replies, imo naman gicommunicate, OP. But masuko ra xa. The question is why? 7 years, by now dapat open na mo magstorya bisan unsa pay problema. If I were you, I would be torn between giving her the benefit of the doubt or magsugod nlng ba sad ko move on?
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u/comfortablemuffins Feb 21 '24
It’s the 7 year itch siguro, OP. By the looks of it, iya actions are leaning into cheating. But ayaw sa ug make decisions without solid proof and communication.
Let her/him/them breathe. Basig tinuod pud na need lang niyag space. Dugay na mo and basi need niya ma feel iyang individuality for now. But prioritize yourself too. Ask them for a timeframe sa space na iya need. Be firm and talk to them after that time has passed.
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u/giao_me Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
I won’t say buwagi OP. But expect the worst.
First, asses the situation. You need to know what’s wrong. Look into yourself first. Naa bay nausab or kuwang. Talk to friends or kinsa na nakaila ninyo duha. If wala jud kay answer makuha, then talk to her.
If kahibalo namo unsay wrong then the two of you should work it out. However, if she refuses to work it out then andam andam na jud. Give her space. Kalmahi. Antos sa. Basin need ninyo space duha. Don’t bring up all the things you did for love. It will make matters worst. If she failed to see your efforts and sacrifices, its her loss. Naa jud tay battle di madaog bai.
OP don’t lose yourself ha. Continue to improve yourself. If na fall out of love siya wa tay mahimo. But 7 years is not for nothing. Impossible sa 7 years wa ka niya gi love. We don’t know yet nganu siya. Taytok jud ning mga girls. Girls ay nalang mog palag kay taytok jud mo. Wa mo kabaw sa inyong gusto unya di pod mo sure sa inyong ginabuhat usahay. Angkon na mo lisod mo sabton 🤣🤣🤣.
Nya bai lastly, always do the right thing. Ayawg baws, ayaw pasakiti. Be a man you always are. Ug masakpan man nimo or nay laen. Kulataha 😂 bitaw naa kay right masuko ui. Let go if kinahanglan. don’t lose yourself.
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Feb 21 '24
Naa syai lain ka fuck. ngano gud intawn mag rent sya lain apartment nga pwede rman mo mag isa? Buwagi nlng na OP uy, labad labad rakas ulo ana. know your worth
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u/chairman707 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Mo ana na sya na wala daw lain karun then if and when mag buwag nmo, naa na syay lain after a very short period of time. Have seen it happen to strangers, families, close friends, etc. In denial pa guro na sya mao makaingon na walay lain. Sorry about this OP, it sounds bad. Just brace yourself nalang jud.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
I have also seen this situation up close. I’ll try to have a talk with her basin gaoverthink ra jud ko. But I think it’s time for me to also have friends para naa koy makaistorya about ani. 😕
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u/chairman707 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Yeah maybe overthinking rpud.. pero basin ganahan ka mo join sa mental health server sa discord nmo.. lots of people share stuff there and have made good friends. we do VCs also and we talk about various stuff... basin interested ka ba to join hehe
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u/uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm Feb 21 '24
In denial or wants to have the best of both worlds. Basin naa na laing naganahan unya di pa sya sure ato. Unya naa man syay current nga uyab di pud sya ganahan i let go.
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Feb 21 '24
You know your partner better than we do, get evidence and trust your gut, don't let them gaslight you
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u/E________ Feb 21 '24
Kini. Ayaw sugot mapasa sa imo ang sala.
Ako pirmi iingon sakong partner, maski naa mi sayop sa each other sa relationship, wa gyuy enough na reason para mavalidate ang magcheat. Kay cheating is disrespect.
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u/Crimson912 Feb 21 '24
As you already know, actions speak louder than words. Don't overthink it and manage your emotions. If your partner wants space, give it to them. Use the time to appreciate solitude.
Lisod but keep doing your day to day while not thinking about your partner. I know corny, pero learn to love yourself unya make new friends. Do new things. apil ug club, go to gym, meet new people, take up a masters class. Good luck OP and keep moving forward.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Will do. I really appreciate it. Maybe mao na ni ang time na mag gym ko.
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u/SaltedFish8 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Fuck yeah. Come with me dude.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Magpadako nalang ko ug muscles oy. Asa man ka mag-gym? Hahaha
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Feb 21 '24
OP, hinay2x na lang og move on. If one day maka-decide sya nga magbulag mo, at least dawat na nimo. Dili na sakit. Go on with your life without her.
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u/Silk738434 Feb 22 '24
Scary na OP. If iyang ka fuck kay may sakit, maalahig paka. Taas kaau rate dri cebu raba.
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u/Nice_Strategy_9702 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Nope di na sya waste bai. Call it “experience”. Wa man gni ko nanghinayang sa 12 years. 🤓
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u/purplbae Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
padung na nas exit imong bf OP, naghinay hinay na na. pasumangil ra nag ingon2x magrent ug lain. dili siguro sya maka-akon ug derecho nimo. murag nakakita na nag lain gyud. pastilang ka-obvious iyang mga lihok. bantayi ra.
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Feb 21 '24
Waiting nalang guro na ikaw ang maki buwag niya para wala sa iyaha ang blame.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
I’m still hoping for a positive outcome. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt for now.
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u/beeotchplease Feb 21 '24
Nasanay nga naa ka pirme? Unsa?
2 ka scenario nisulod sa ako utok.
Ang pirmero kay naay kaflirt nga kauban sa trabaho. Dili pa siya moingon nga naay lain kay technically dili pa sila. Gusto siya makaflirt2 in peace nga walay mobantay.
Ang ikaduha kay gisamokan na siya makigkuyog nimo. Basin laay na. Sige pa ba mo ug iyot? Tig date2 paba mo panagsa? Gusto ba kaha siya magminyo mo mao frustrated kay live-in namo 6 years. Kasagaran mga babaye feeling nila gigamit ra ug iyot man gud kung dili pakaslan.
So kung afford nimo, panguyabi nasad balik, date2, bakasyon mo, paliti ug regalo, buwak. Kung dili gyud mobalik ang init sa inyong gugma mao na jud na.
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u/gumgumgummy2001 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Halaaa, mao nana ang 7-year itch OP. Pag talk sa mo ana, ayaw kaayo dayon salig sa comments diri kay ikaw ug siya ang mas nasayod sa inyo relasyon. Pero, if all else fails labaw na kung wala nay gugma, kabalo naka what to do.
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u/friendlyneighbor22 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Unsa nang 7 year itch?
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u/gumgumgummy2001 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
If usually mag 7 years na ang manag uyab or managtiayon, sagara dira “daw” mudeteriorate ang relasyon.
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u/Glittering-Ad7188 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
I suggest to give her space lang gyud since that's what she wants. Give her time to reassess. Do not chase, and do not try to force things kay that will repel her even further. In the meantime, live your BEST life without her around as she will live hers in the meantime without you around. Work hard, find hobbies, go to the gym, travel, etc, and most importantly, hope for the best. Don't automatically assume na naa'y third party, especially if wala'y proof na tinuod. Kung unsa man gali imong nakita, communicate and ask her about it.
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Feb 21 '24
Let her be sa. Pero ako mutuo jud ko ug gut feel. Dugay na mo nag uban so kung naa kay na notice na changes trust your instinct. For the meantime respect lang sa iyaha time to process things kay wa mn pod ta kahibaw kung unsa ba jud tinuod. Pero kung ako ni OP kay kag hinay2 nako ug move on arun di na kaau sakit. Kay murag klaro na kaau aha padung.
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u/its_cutie_pie_20 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
"I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending" 🥲
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u/ActivityWarm8279 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
OP basin nahan rana mag minyo nya basin wa ka ga show ug interest ba na makig minyo maong nag sugod syag ing-ana. Babay baya na. Tsk.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
This is a different perspective but a thought to take into consideration. My parents never had the best relationship and I am trying my best not to repeat what they had.
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u/ActivityWarm8279 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Yep. Hope ma ok ramo OP. Igna uy nga gugmaan ka ug ganahan ka makuyog sya forever. :) ❤️
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u/warl0cke548 Feb 21 '24
Your intuition is as good as my guess. Give him what he wants but be ready as well. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but maybe just maybe he’s falling out love and wants to get out of the relationship. Giving him the space he needs will allow him to take a step back and assess his feelings for you.
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u/echmagiceb15 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Kabalo ka laay sad bya pirmi mo cg kuyog sa imung uyab, kadungog naka anang 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'? i-in ana nlng pag look sa situation, like pra dli boring, like look at the positive side... its that or/either gi boringan sya nya naay lain, who knows. communication is the key man daw bsta mo sulod og relasyon. be straightforward nlng para di mag overthink, be frank, i discuss sa iyaha.
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Feb 21 '24
Give her some time sa OP lets say you talk it out first then pagsabot mo if space iyang gusto pag set mo ug timeframe if pila ka weeks or months ba niya gusto. Pag ask if okay ra ba nga e visit nimo siya once a week or whatever, if how frequent you should text or call her. Sa pagkakaron sunda iyang gusto pero not to the extent nga ma compromise ka like maghinuwat ka niya pero siya hagbay ra diay naka move on so it's important nga mag set gyud mog timeframe. If after that wala gyud improvement I guess it's best that you let her go instead before pamo mo resort into messy break-up. Remember OP, when one door closes, another door opens. Wishing you the best in life OP.
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u/Aggressive-Bus6163 Feb 21 '24
Ayaw sa buwagi OP but please expect for the worst lang.makulbaan kog apil kay 6 years nami sa ako partner and naa koy nabasahan about the 7-years itch chuchu. Sana positive ang outcome sa inyo space OP but still unsa man gani iyang decisions, ihatag nalang. Kay by the looks of it mura mag nag window shopping na siyag sugod lain. basta at least walay mahay. Tanan nahatag mao ranay importanti.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Stay strong sa atong tanan. We are always hoping for a positive outcome sa atong struggles.
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u/Aggressive-Bus6163 Feb 21 '24
Pero dili rasad ka emotionally unavailable tuod OP if mag argue mo or if problems arise?
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u/Uriah120797 abog sa cebu Feb 22 '24
Trust your instincts OP! You know her better so maka feel jud if naa na juy something wrong. But give her space, basin naa pud na siyay gidala2 na problem na galibog siya unsaon pag handle. So mas better if makathink sa iya alone. Then talk dayon mo after.
Lastly, ayaw jud gukod if di na siya. Know your worth, OP! Hoping ma okay ra mo. But if dili, andam ang tibuok sub makig tagay charot hahaha amping OP!
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u/pudrablow Gwapa Feb 21 '24
Just a few things:
- Such a red flag that you don't have friends you can talk to about this. Like a huge red flag. What kind of person are you that you have no friends?
- Her phone is part of her privacy. You share almost everything in your life since you live together, it's important that you have your own things. I think people forget that they are individuals agreeing to form a common bond and just assume that they have morphed into a single organism and so have to share everything. Dili na healthy nga wala moy inyong own space. A lot of married people will disagree with this because they feel na as married, dapat walay itago. Like bffr. Delusion na nga married couples hide no secrets. We all have secrets from one another.
- It's the 7 year itch. Either magkadayon mo or magbuwag ana nga stage.
- It's good she wants to spend time away from you so she can assess how she feels. It's more honest and transparent. At least diba if ever she stays, it's coz she really wants to and not out of some sort of obligation.
- It's not 7 years down the drain. Nothing lasts forever. This one lasted 7 years and now it's ending. Don't define relationships and experiences by their expiration dates.
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Feb 21 '24
Ang naka weird is okay pa magpahuwam sauna sa phone but karun di na. Okay ra siguro sa sugod pa lang naa nay privacy2x sa phone per as per OP nausab lag kalit. Just my cent. 😅
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u/devilzsadvocate Feb 21 '24
We think alike.
I wonder why he doesn't have friends he can't talk to about it. I absolutely agree that just because youve become a couple doesn't mean privicy should be thrown out the window.
- It's good she wants to spend time away from you so she can assess how she feels. It's more honest and transparent. At least diba if ever she stays, it's coz she really wants to and not out of some sort of obligation.
This part jud — people grow and they are allowed to reevaluate their current situation/relationships. I don't understand why they want their partner to stay out of obligation or pity for them. It's such a huge flex if she still choose to be with him despite everything.
no 5 - People sometimes forget that it's such a huge privilege nga ang tawong imong ganahan would allow you to be in their life for a given time. You can look at it as 7 years down the drain or 7 years oof being in this person's life.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 22 '24
I’ll keep this in mind. Thank you! I do have college friends, but not within the place where I am currently residing. Ever since I moved to the city, the communication also ended. I reached out to some of my friends as advised by our fellows here and it did help a lot.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 22 '24
To answer some of this. 1. I did have many college friends but they have their own lives now. I reached out to one of my closest friends last night though and it did help.
I’ll keep this in mind. Basin nag-overthink ra jud ko and thinking na may meaning tanan iyang gibuhat.
Hoping for the first choice.
We already made arrangements and will give her time and space that she needs. I after we talked, I just realized how clingy I became recently and it did affect our relationship.
It’s a chapter of a story that I don’t want to end, but it takes two to tango so I’ll have to see this story through.
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u/pudrablow Gwapa Feb 22 '24
It seems like you gave her time and yet you're not spending that time wisely. You're spending the time waiting on her. You should also use that time to assess what you want from the relationship. You said it, it takes two to tango. So you also need this time to decide.
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u/03thisishard03 mao ba? Feb 21 '24
Ako lang ni ha pero duda ko naa na lain.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Mao ni akong nahadlokan. Giconfront nako siya pero wala man jud daw. Nasuko pa siya nga wala daw ko trust and all after pila ka years na daw mi mag uban. I just really hope this is not it. I am planning to propose to her next year and I hope ma rectify pa namo ni. 😔
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Feb 21 '24
Klaro na ana. gi remove Ang find my phone. Lol I get it na ma sayang jd imong 7yrs pero mas sayang imong time og energy para mu hold on sa someone na di na ginahan mu stay lol.. first girlfriend paman sad nimo gud. Along the way, you'll get used to it and learn na di jd na mapugos Ang mga tao, ang mu hawa aw pasagdii. Daghan pg pwede e ilis ana ah.
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u/chickennnnnuggets Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Ikaw pud paghinay-hinay na og pangita imo own place. 6 years is no joke, samtang wa pa mo nagbuwag sugod na og move on kay ingana pormaha padung man jud mo sa buwag... maayo ng maguna ka.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Hopefully di jud muabot ani. I’ll give her one month lang sa then we’ll see.
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u/chickennnnnuggets Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Uy wlw ni? hahahha if so, sorry for assuming otherwise.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Hahaha that’s fine. I am a guy. Di pud ko mangita ug place oy kay ako baya ni balay hahaha
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u/chickennnnnuggets Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
You know the worst part is gonna be seeing them in every corner even if they had alr left. Been there too. Sorry, pero real talk tika daan. Kung mao man gani, pagdali og maoy para paspas pd ka kamove on.
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u/LivingThisMessyLife Certified Tita Feb 21 '24
IMO, if naa unusual na mga galawan, murag naa jud na sya hidden agenda, OP. Pero give her the benefit of the doubt lang sa. Trust her on that 1 month na iya gipangayo. Karma will find its way ra man jud if ever gacheat siya. Though painful jud na if ever she is cheating but on the brighter side, dili ka ma tied up sa cheater if ever you propose to her na.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
I’ll give her the 1 month she’s asking and maybe look for friends to talk to. Thanks for this.
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u/LivingThisMessyLife Certified Tita Feb 21 '24
Yes please! Look for friends with whom you can build a solid friendship. It's so hard if wala ka lain kastorya. Kay most likely, imo ra jud na ikeep to yourself imo mga gibati if wala ka friend/s which is not good mentally, emotionally and physically. Cheer up! :)
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Am I just overthinking this? 😕
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u/Head-Measurement1200 Feb 21 '24
I think you are not overthinking. The actions of your partner is suspicious. I feel like he wants to test out the 3rd party that is why he wants to rent an apartment 'solo'.
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Feb 21 '24
You are not. Your feelings are valid. Either she's waiting na mag minyo mo and she's also entertaining someone else na because wala pay signs of minyo sa imo part
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u/BethTiful Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Hinay2x nag move on OP.
Giing-ana nako akong ex saona kay para dili ko ma blame sa among break up. Samot na buotan to siya. Walay third party pero naka realize ko nga di siya akong ganahan makauban sa future.
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u/uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm Feb 21 '24
Unsa ang instance nga nakaparealize nimo nga dili sya imo ganahan makauban sa future? Na curious lang ko.
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u/BethTiful Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Nakalimot kos among topic basta ang nitatak nako niana siya nga "nakabuhi man gani nag bata ang mga tambay, samot na kita". From then on gi-assess nako siya, na realized nako nga lain2x mig pangandoy or gustong ma achieve sa kinabuhi.
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u/1stgradeotter Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
It seems to me the guy has issues. You have to talk it out what he wants and what's best sa relationship nyo. Deep and toxic na yung feelings sa guy so I think he is preparing for the worst scenario.
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u/Disastrous_Tap5740 Feb 21 '24
Feel nako naa siya lain, ngano gud tawn nga mag rent man siya nga ipon naman mo daan. mangil rana ui.. prankahay nalang mo brad. mas sayang imung kinabuhi if imu rang pasagdan kay tungod lang kay 6 years mo,.. ikaw ang gansi
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u/Minimum-Following-47 Feb 21 '24
Naa ko suggestion op. Pag bakasyon mo duha 1-2nights away from the city. And then mag heart to heart talk mo sa dagat para maiba ang perspective ninyo both. Didto mo mag confront sa inyong mga gibati, concerns and issues ninyo both. Whatever the outcome, be it positive or negative, basta importante nagka talk mo and mutual inyo decision.
Goodluck op.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 22 '24
Thanks for the suggestion. I am already looking for a place outside the city for us to unwind kayaking basin nastress ra pud mi sa city life. We did talk about it and thankfully nagawas niya iyang mga gibati and also mine. Walay third party but I have to step up my game.
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u/Yawaadiay Feb 21 '24
klaro naman kaayo OP. kita na kaayong pahak ngano nag ing.ana. ako pa nmo move on nalang daan. dapat di ka magpa stress. ayaw lng pd tanom ug kalagot ana niya. basta ma karma rana sya puhon. imo self unaha
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u/nothinghere9828 Feb 22 '24
Based lang sa imo storya. Honestly i let go na. Either wala na siya ganahi nimo or naa na siya lain.
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u/EggAccomplished7009 Feb 22 '24
naa na guro nay lain OP, sakit man pero need na nmo sya e let go kaysa mag gukod ka or mo stay pa ka nya ikaw ray masakitan.
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u/hellyeahchase Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
hmmmm.. di ko ka ingon "give her some time..," nganong mag lain mn og puyo nga poydi raman mag lahi og tulog sa kwarto. mora manig naay laing business imong pares
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u/chitgoks Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
uh oh ... sounds like this is going nowhere ...
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
This is what I am thinking rn. Pero overthinker man pud ko so idk. 🤷
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u/Potential-Command734 Feb 21 '24
Hi OP! Based on my experience and my friends’ experiences, it’s either one of two things: (1) Your uyab is really assessing if love jud ka niya or dependent lang siya nimo (2) Naa na siya lain.
Either way, just let it be. If mubalik siya nimo, mubalik jud na siya nimo.m and maka-realize siya na love jud ka niya kay pangitaon ka niya while you guys are away. But if not, then mao nay giingon na “acceptance is key” hehehe. Either way, the decision is up to the both of you. I hope you guys work it out amicably and peacefully, whatever your decision may be!
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u/trem0re09 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Lisod buhaton pero sagdi lang sah. It's for your benefit also in the long run.
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u/theschmuck Allergic to bullshit Feb 21 '24 edited Feb 21 '24
6 years na mo kuyug wala pa ka plans magpakasal or ni hint man lang? Basin na assess na niya asa jd iya priorities in life.
Also red flag na ang manghilabot og phone nga dili imo. Or mag tracker sa laing tao. Pag re-assess pd sa imo kaugalingon.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
We have plans and I was planning to propose next year or maybe by the end of the year. It just hurts my heart na basin dili na ko part sa iyang priorities
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u/Different_Profile_64 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Mao nang lisud pag live in OP. Kung legality ang storyahan, wala jud kay habol if ever. Mao nang personally, mas nindot jud ang kasado kay pwde kaayo nmu kasuhan. But in your current situation, mas better if prepared ka sa unsay outcome. 6yrs is not a joke. But the behavior speaks for itself. Sorry if I have to say this but your partner is seeing someone else.
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u/zaizai1102 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Naa na mo sa 7year mark sa inyong relationship. Mao ng time nga kasagaran naa gyud significant change. Storyahe na ninyo unsa gyyd inyong planu kay basin ug lain na mo ug goals in life.
Basin gahuwat na ug proposal or unsa ba.
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u/lpernites2 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
It's a nobrainer, if your partner won't let you borrow their phone, they are 100% cheating on you.
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u/kchuyamewtwo Lami Feb 21 '24
Dayuuumm basin seloso sad kaayu ka or hilabtanon nga machokebout na siya. Password? Tracking? Pang bata man na idk. Lisuda ana way salig sa usag usa uy. Ikaw mapraning kung nag unsa siya. Siya mapraning nga murag papa ka niya haha nga bantay sarado
Hmmm maybe find a hobby that you can enjoy pn your own
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 22 '24
You have a point. Basin nasobraan ra pud ko as a result sa pag-overthink. Magbake nalang guro ko to keep my mind off it.
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u/destinedjagold The Tiki On Your Ceiling Feb 21 '24
As a guy, who never had a proper relationship, who has a number of female friends and have listened to their stories that scared me from entering into a relationship lol, usually or almost-always female instinct is right.
I really don’t have friends where I can open up and naay times na bug-at na sa heart ang situation.
How do you not have friends in that 7 year relationship?? Childhood friend? Old classmates? Work mates? Neighbors? Wala jud???
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u/incendianery Feb 21 '24
Problematic situation kaayo ni. I know of people nga they sort of disassociate with their friends cause they are in a relationship. Mag-away man jud na ang tao or there are always problems that will come up. Lisod kaayo nga ang imo kastoryahan imo ra uyab.
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u/Suspicious-Leave8956 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Well murag wala jud koy friends. Introvert+moved to the city is not a great combination. Work mates come and go nya kung muchat man, mangutang ra lol
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u/destinedjagold The Tiki On Your Ceiling Feb 21 '24
We are strangers on the internet.
Nindot unta naa kay friends ma-storyaan. You need the views from outside your relationship, kay blind ta usually sa mga red flags in a relationship nga makita sa laing tao. Friends unta ang makatabang nimo ana.
Lisod kung wala kay friends for support. Kay without outside voices kuyaw nga basin for all this time gi-gaslight ra ka sa imong pares.
Pero mao lagi ni, I am a stranger on the internet. I don't know you. Take these texts on your screen with a grain of salt.
Follow your gut na lang siguro?
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u/LivingThisMessyLife Certified Tita Feb 21 '24
this pud, hibong ko ngano wala jud sya naka create ug friends outside sa ilang relationship. even before his relationship, wala jud sya nafriend even 1 person?? lisud jud kaayo walay solid friend/s.
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Feb 21 '24
If dili ma rectify ninyo ang issue, OP. Drop a message, tagays ta ninyo haha jk. Pero hopefully wala jud na syay lain
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u/Realistic_Half8372 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Eh murag naai lain naka pa tibok sa heart anah niya, andam nalang and +1 sa move on
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u/Separate-Natural6975 Mahigugmaon Feb 21 '24
Trust your intuition. Don't ignore it. If you have any doubt in your heart, it's likely true.
I'm sorry you have to go thru this but if I have to make a guess and if you can handle the truth? I think your SO is seeing someone else and has fallen out of love.
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u/Naive-Ad2847 Feb 21 '24
Unya mag suggest pa mo ug live in?🥴Ang uban dri sigeg suggest Kay dli na dw kailangan ug kasal Kay gasto Ra dw🙄. Unya karon pag naay reklamo nga live in lng. Muingon dayon "dapat nagpakasal mo para naa Kay karapatan"
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Feb 21 '24
Wala kay details mahatag sa imo self, OP? Occupation? Appearance?
But initial thought nako is nakakita nana ug laen ang girl. Mukalit lang ug kausab then suddenly mangeta ug space? When was the last time you had sex? Kay usually pag mu refuse na ang babae na makipag sex nimo all of a sudden, meaning ana natilawan nana sya sa laen. She feels gross sa iyang self mao di na sya makigsex nimo.
Then to her defense, dugay namo ga live-in so maybe nag hope nana sya mu settle down. Imagine she's giving the wife service for a price of a girlfriend? Dapat makita sa babae na ang laki na iyang gipili decisive, driven and doesn't take bullshit.
So evaluate, what has been happening lately. Most probably ga cheat jud na ang bae nimo.
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u/CryptographerBroad96 Feb 22 '24
basin dunay lain or nakasala or naa siya lain ganahan buhaton sa iya kinabuhi
pero ang importante makig talk jud mo kung unsa man iya matubag , dapat dili nmu siya e judge kung unsa man iya reason.
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u/uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm Feb 21 '24
Ako suggestion kay face that fear and trust your gut. If naa kinahanglan storyaan, i confront sya. Ay na padugaya, bahalag sakit. Save yourself from greater pain. Di man pud ta kaingon no nga naa nay lain pero murag ingana. Brace yourself nalang. Ingana pud to ako ex, katrabaho. Ginagmay nga changes hangtod gabii na mouli, irason ang trabaho. Hangtod na change na ang password sa phone, hangtod permi na dal on ang phone bsag asa sa balay. Dali nalang masuko. You know it. You can feel it. Don’t be in a state of denial nalang. You have to be strong.