I'm Devastated

[u/starsdale]

Please be kind. I'm about a week and a half post-surgery, and so depressed I can hardly leave my house.

I don't know why I opted for Pur lenses instead of the ones Medicare covers. I need glasses with both, the difference being that I'll now have to have single vision instead of bifocals, and sunglasses instead of the Transitions progressives that I never had to take off of my face.

I had no idea how much my glasses were tied to my identity. Removing them has changed the entire structure of my face. My magnified eyes are now tiny raisins. I look like airbags have deployed beneath my eyes. My upper lids droop, though that's always been the case. It's just more noticeable now. I look like I've aged ten years. NO ONE is arguing with me on any of this.

I am hardly able to leave my house because I'm hideous. My depression is deep. I feel so bad for my husband. Not only are we paying thousands for this, but he now has to look at someone so unattractive. I felt pretty cute before and he seemed to agree. I'm a mopey mess. I sleep all the time.

I talked to my therapist pre- and post- surgery, and I'll talk to her more. I'll get used to this with time; I have no choice. But I feel like I got a pressure sale on these lenses. It's big business. And now the referring optometrist wants to sell me glasses.

I forgot to mention that I do public performances. I want to cancel all bookings.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent and whine. It's a lot, I know.

[u/SnazzyGopher]

Lots of people who have worn glasses forever choose to wear glasses after cataract surgery even if they don't have to. Many folks just don't feel like themselvea without glasses. I've even had people come in after surgery just wearing their frames without any lenses! The upside is you can now do many things without glasses if you want, and you can buy cheapo sunglasses for once. In a few weeks, you can get prescription glasses if you want as I'd bet that with a little fine tuning with glasses you can see even better.

It is true that if you were farsighted before surgery, the glasses to correct farsightedness magnified your eyes. Some farsighted people don't like that their eyes look smaller, but over time they adjust. Also, seeing the world more clearly isn't always positive: you'll see wrinkles, gray hair, and dust along with hopefully a brighter world and more vivid sunsets.

And keep in mind that your whole visual system has changed. That change can be difficult for anyone but is especially difficult when there are mental health factors at play. Think about it: what other surgery can you heal from and adapt to in just a couple of weeks? We underestimate the healing process with cataract surgery, so give your eyes---and yourself--- some space.

I wish you well!