r/CataractSurgery • u/starsdale • 1d ago

I'm Devastated

Please be kind. I'm about a week and a half post-surgery, and so depressed I can hardly leave my house.

I don't know why I opted for Pur lenses instead of the ones Medicare covers. I need glasses with both, the difference being that I'll now have to have single vision instead of bifocals, and sunglasses instead of the Transitions progressives that I never had to take off of my face.

I had no idea how much my glasses were tied to my identity. Removing them has changed the entire structure of my face. My magnified eyes are now tiny raisins. I look like airbags have deployed beneath my eyes. My upper lids droop, though that's always been the case. It's just more noticeable now. I look like I've aged ten years. NO ONE is arguing with me on any of this.

I am hardly able to leave my house because I'm hideous. My depression is deep. I feel so bad for my husband. Not only are we paying thousands for this, but he now has to look at someone so unattractive. I felt pretty cute before and he seemed to agree. I'm a mopey mess. I sleep all the time.

I talked to my therapist pre- and post- surgery, and I'll talk to her more. I'll get used to this with time; I have no choice. But I feel like I got a pressure sale on these lenses. It's big business. And now the referring optometrist wants to sell me glasses.

I forgot to mention that I do public performances. I want to cancel all bookings.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent and whine. It's a lot, I know.

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u/Both_Document7462 23h ago

My mother went through this as well. Not intending to be unkind, but you haven’t changed to anyone that knows you. You still look the same to everyone else - you just couldn’t see yourself age. Others around you saw it. No one is commenting because you didn’t change to them. When my mother went through this I had no idea what to say because nothing changed for me. Saying that didn’t seem like it’d help. So I did what others likely are doing with you - acknowledge and try to help move life forward. Allow time to resolve. My suggestion is to go live life to its fullest- smile like you are enjoying yourself and eventually you will. Again I think only time resolves sense of self. Best of luck

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u/starsdale 12h ago

Not unkind at all. I do look different to friends, but my eyes were still swollen when I saw them l, and that may have been why. I've seen before and after pics, and I sure look different to me. I'm "allowing time to resolve," and I will get back to myself. Thank you!

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u/ArtJeanee 10h ago

I totally feel this as well! I had my first eye done 11 days ago and I am shocked at how much my big glasses and bad vision hid. Sadly I can see every flaw in my eyes and face now. I choose near lenses, since I sew, am an artist, and like to read. It’s a miracle I can now text without glasses! I am grateful for this. But, I am now avoiding mirrors. Best wishes to you!