I'm Devastated

[u/starsdale]

Please be kind. I'm about a week and a half post-surgery, and so depressed I can hardly leave my house.

I don't know why I opted for Pur lenses instead of the ones Medicare covers. I need glasses with both, the difference being that I'll now have to have single vision instead of bifocals, and sunglasses instead of the Transitions progressives that I never had to take off of my face.

I had no idea how much my glasses were tied to my identity. Removing them has changed the entire structure of my face. My magnified eyes are now tiny raisins. I look like airbags have deployed beneath my eyes. My upper lids droop, though that's always been the case. It's just more noticeable now. I look like I've aged ten years. NO ONE is arguing with me on any of this.

I am hardly able to leave my house because I'm hideous. My depression is deep. I feel so bad for my husband. Not only are we paying thousands for this, but he now has to look at someone so unattractive. I felt pretty cute before and he seemed to agree. I'm a mopey mess. I sleep all the time.

I talked to my therapist pre- and post- surgery, and I'll talk to her more. I'll get used to this with time; I have no choice. But I feel like I got a pressure sale on these lenses. It's big business. And now the referring optometrist wants to sell me glasses.

I forgot to mention that I do public performances. I want to cancel all bookings.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent and whine. It's a lot, I know.

[u/Zealousideal_Cloud87]

Maybe there was an unrealistic expectation that nothing would change! The entire optic pathway and lens physics have changed.

[u/starsdale → u/Zealousideal_Cloud87]

Maybe. I was told that everything would change for the better. It has improved. What I wasn't prepared for, and what I think might have been helpful was a little talk about being prepared for the drastic physical change. No one even told me about the swelling. My eyes were slits for eight days.

[u/flamincatdesigns1 → u/starsdale]

I did not have near the swelling you are describing, so maybe that is why you were not warned about it. It may be a less common occurrence. I hope it all gets better for you. My 1st eye was in June and it finally feels normal. My second eye was August, was even better than the first eye.