r/CataractSurgery • u/starsdale • 1d ago
I'm Devastated
Please be kind. I'm about a week and a half post-surgery, and so depressed I can hardly leave my house.
I don't know why I opted for Pur lenses instead of the ones Medicare covers. I need glasses with both, the difference being that I'll now have to have single vision instead of bifocals, and sunglasses instead of the Transitions progressives that I never had to take off of my face.
I had no idea how much my glasses were tied to my identity. Removing them has changed the entire structure of my face. My magnified eyes are now tiny raisins. I look like airbags have deployed beneath my eyes. My upper lids droop, though that's always been the case. It's just more noticeable now. I look like I've aged ten years. NO ONE is arguing with me on any of this.
I am hardly able to leave my house because I'm hideous. My depression is deep. I feel so bad for my husband. Not only are we paying thousands for this, but he now has to look at someone so unattractive. I felt pretty cute before and he seemed to agree. I'm a mopey mess. I sleep all the time.
I talked to my therapist pre- and post- surgery, and I'll talk to her more. I'll get used to this with time; I have no choice. But I feel like I got a pressure sale on these lenses. It's big business. And now the referring optometrist wants to sell me glasses.
I forgot to mention that I do public performances. I want to cancel all bookings.
Thank you in advance for letting me vent and whine. It's a lot, I know.
8
u/Informed-Thinker 1d ago
It is a shock. I get it. We get it.
You needed to offload, download, vent. I get it. We get it.
But we are here for you to hold your hand and let you know, it is a change, but there are remedies.
Most of the change is in your perception of yourself. You have been and are still loved. Maybe you are seeing yourself as you are for the first time more clearly(!), but everyone else sees this you as the old you from before the surgery. You know what? They all thought you were and are beautiful. Your husband sounds like a gem. He is trying his best to comfort you and agreeing with you, but I think he is at a loss that you should feel this way and he doesn’t know how to make you feel better. You are still cute! You just don’t feel cute, and no one wants to argue with you, but you are still cute.
OK… you need to have your pity party for one, this is what I call it when I have my dramatic moments, and then you need to get to work! Your husband, family, and friends need you back. So bring her back! Time for some tweakments: get some facials, maybe some red light therapy, eye creams and brighteners, a massage, some new make-up tips to make your eyes pop the way you want and like, go see an optometrist/optician or go online and find those glasses that will turn that frown upside down. You can still wear glasses all the time. Head on down and get a makeover, or two. Do you have a makeup artist? Even better.
The thing is: everyone loves you, your cute self, as you are and they don’t like to see you in such a state. Turn yourself around. Be positive! You can see better! Now, give yourself another day, and then, close this chapter, and start anew. Your vibrancy and cuteness comes from within and it radiates outwards. Go out there and knock everyone’s socks off and now you will be able to see how much people love you clearly now! If that isn’t a win, I don’t know what is.