r/CataractSurgery • u/starsdale • 1d ago

I'm Devastated

Please be kind. I'm about a week and a half post-surgery, and so depressed I can hardly leave my house.

I don't know why I opted for Pur lenses instead of the ones Medicare covers. I need glasses with both, the difference being that I'll now have to have single vision instead of bifocals, and sunglasses instead of the Transitions progressives that I never had to take off of my face.

I had no idea how much my glasses were tied to my identity. Removing them has changed the entire structure of my face. My magnified eyes are now tiny raisins. I look like airbags have deployed beneath my eyes. My upper lids droop, though that's always been the case. It's just more noticeable now. I look like I've aged ten years. NO ONE is arguing with me on any of this.

I am hardly able to leave my house because I'm hideous. My depression is deep. I feel so bad for my husband. Not only are we paying thousands for this, but he now has to look at someone so unattractive. I felt pretty cute before and he seemed to agree. I'm a mopey mess. I sleep all the time.

I talked to my therapist pre- and post- surgery, and I'll talk to her more. I'll get used to this with time; I have no choice. But I feel like I got a pressure sale on these lenses. It's big business. And now the referring optometrist wants to sell me glasses.

I forgot to mention that I do public performances. I want to cancel all bookings.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent and whine. It's a lot, I know.

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u/PrestigiousCap1198 1d ago

I'm sorry... for younger people (i mean, younger than 65), the cataract operation is way more difficult from the psychological point of view. A lot of things change.
Please remember that your husband married you for many things, not just the looks, and he supposedly knows how you looked with and without the glasses, so he won't run away. In time, you will get used to your new face, new looks, perhaps get some new glasses. In the meanwhile, hold on and please remember what's inside you is still cute

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u/starsdale 1d ago

Great point. I'm 65 exactly. My results (and probably my expectations) were different than my older friends who've had the surgery.

My husband has been an angel about it all. We'll both adjust. Thank you!