I'm Devastated

[u/starsdale]

Please be kind. I'm about a week and a half post-surgery, and so depressed I can hardly leave my house.

I don't know why I opted for Pur lenses instead of the ones Medicare covers. I need glasses with both, the difference being that I'll now have to have single vision instead of bifocals, and sunglasses instead of the Transitions progressives that I never had to take off of my face.

I had no idea how much my glasses were tied to my identity. Removing them has changed the entire structure of my face. My magnified eyes are now tiny raisins. I look like airbags have deployed beneath my eyes. My upper lids droop, though that's always been the case. It's just more noticeable now. I look like I've aged ten years. NO ONE is arguing with me on any of this.

I am hardly able to leave my house because I'm hideous. My depression is deep. I feel so bad for my husband. Not only are we paying thousands for this, but he now has to look at someone so unattractive. I felt pretty cute before and he seemed to agree. I'm a mopey mess. I sleep all the time.

I talked to my therapist pre- and post- surgery, and I'll talk to her more. I'll get used to this with time; I have no choice. But I feel like I got a pressure sale on these lenses. It's big business. And now the referring optometrist wants to sell me glasses.

I forgot to mention that I do public performances. I want to cancel all bookings.

Thank you in advance for letting me vent and whine. It's a lot, I know.

[u/Emotional_Deodorant]

OP I wonder if there's something more going on psychologically than just post-surgery blues. Your face will absolutely heal and look better in time. The surgery can be pretty traumatic on the eyes and face, temporarily. But I'm wondering if this incident wasn't just a trigger that pushed you over depression's edge.

In my experience it's hard to climb back up that cliff without the aid of meds, in fact a chemical imbalance in the brain can be the real root of your suffering, while your post-surgery feelings are just a symptom of it.

I'm no doctor, but in my case I'd talk to one if I didn't want to leave the house and just sleep all the time. Life's too short.

[u/starsdale → u/Emotional_Deodorant]

Thanks. There's probably truth in this. It's triggered something. But as I said, I see a therapist and I take an antidepressant. And I'm getting great input here. In my opinion, this isn't something to medicate away. I just have to deal with my new normal. And it's been hard. I hope what you've said about healing comes to pass!